ICassey Ho ityhila ukujijisana nokungaqiniseki malunga noMtshato kunye noMama

Umxholo

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UCassey Ho weeBlogilates kudala waba yincwadi evulekileyo kunye nemikhosi yakhe yabalandeli. Nokuba uchaza imifanekiso yemizimba yomzimba wakhe ngendlela ecace gca okanye ngokungathandabuzekiyo malunga nokunye ukungazithembi, uvakalelo lwe-Instagram lwabelane ngemiba eyahlukeneyo yobomi bakhe kwimidiya yoluntu, bade baxoxa okokuqala ukuba uziva njani malunga nenxalenye ethile yekamva lakhe.

Kwividiyo eposwe kwiphepha lakhe le-Instagram ngoMvulo, uHo uyonwabele iholide yasemva komtshato eBora Bora nomyeni wakhe, uSam Livits, kwiminyaka emithathu emva kokubopha iqhina. Nangona ikliphu ephuphayo ibonisa isibini esiqhekezayo kunye ne-Champagne kunye nokutsiba emanzini e-crystal blue, u-Ho usebenzisa ividiyo yohambo lwe-honeymoon njengesizathu sokunyaniseka kakhulu ngesihloko esibalulekileyo; kwi-caption, uyaqhubeka nokutyhila ukuthandabuza kwakhe malunga nomtshato kunye nokuba ngumama, kunye nendlela "esoyika" ukuba abelane ngayo nabalandeli bakhe. (Eyeleleneyo: UCassie Ho Wabelana Ngesizathu sokuba azive ngathi usilele ngamanye amaxesha).

"Iiholide zomtshato zifanele ukuba sisiqalo senqanaba elilandelayo lobomi phakathi kwesibini. Kwaye kufuneka ndinyaniseke kuni. Ndiyoyika," waqala uHo. "Xa @samlivits kwaye ndaya kumhla wokuqala ekholejini, wathi 'ndiza kwenza utata olungileyo.' Ngokucacileyo bendingekakulungeli ukuthetha izinto ezinje phakathi kwamaphepha ophando. Ngaphezu koko, bendisandul 'ukunikwa' imvume 'yokuba ndithandane nomama wam! "

Njengokuba ubudlelwane bakhe neLivits "buba mandundu," uHo ubhale ukuba "wazisa umbono wokutshata," kodwa yena "wayengaziva elungile" ngelo xesha. Xa iLivits yaphakamisa iminyaka esithoba kamva, uHo uthe, "Nangona bendicinga ukuba andikakulungeli, ayinamsebenzi kuba ivule inqanaba elitsha lothando kubudlelwane bethu ebendingekaziva ngaphambili."

Ngoku iminyaka emithathu emtshatweni wabo, uHo waphawula ngoMvulo ukuba "laa nto uSam wandixelela yona ekholejini kwiminyaka eyi-13 eyadlulayo sisihloko esingasayi kuphepheka."

"Yonke imihla emva komtshato uSam wayendibuza 'ngoku sifumana nini umntwana?' kwaye ndingathi oh iminyaka embalwa. Ibali elifanayo. Andizange ndizive ndilungile kuba umsebenzi wam wawungekho kwindawo endandifuna ukuba ube kuyo, "wacacisa uHo. "Ndiyoyika ukunixelela le nto ngoba yeyona nto ibuthathaka endakha ndavula ngayo. Mhlawumbi yenye yezona zingenakulinganiswa."

Waqhubeka wathi, "Ngokungafaniyo nawo onke amabhinqa endakhulela kuwo, ukuba nomntwana yinto ababesazi nje ngemvelo ukuba bafuna. Mna? Andazi nokuba kungenxa yendlela endakhuliswa ngayo (super academic + career focused) okanye ukuba kukho into encinci 'yobufazi' ngam, kodwa andiwufumani loo mnqweno wangaphakathi wokuba ngumama." (Izinto eziNxulumeneyo: I-6 yabasetyhini babelana ngendlela abajija ngayo ubuMama kunye nemikhwa yabo yokuzilolonga).

UHo wayibeka yacaca into yokuba akabathiyanga abantwana okanye akafuni ukuba ngumama, kodwa kunoko uziva “enokunqongophala kolo ‘bizo lwendalo’ lokuba ngumama kubonakala ngathi uninzi lwabafazi banalo. Uphi owam?

"Kuyamangalisa kuba bendihlala ndiqhutywa luthando," ubhale watsho. "Ndilandela intliziyo yam kwaye ihlala indibonisa indlela elungileyo. Kodwa ngale nto, intliziyo yam ayikathethi kwaye andifuni ukuzisola ngokulahlekelwa ngala mava obomi."

Ukuphendula ukuthumela umyalezo onyanisekileyo, kutshanje uHo uxelele Ubume ukuba wayekholelwa ukuba abanye abantu basetyhini bayayifumana into ayithumelayo, kodwa ayimangalisi.

"Ndandicinga ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba abanye abafazi baya kufumana i-post yam super unrelatable, kwaye ndandikulungele ukubuyisela umva. Kodwa ngokumangalisayo ... abaninzi bathi baziva ngendlela efanayo. Ndatshitshiswa ngokupheleleyo. Ndandingenayo i-IDEA enye. Abasetyhini baziva le "yokuswela ukutsala" ukuya kubumama! Ndandihlala ndicinga ukuba ndingoyena mntu ungathandekiyo kuba bonke abafazi endikhulele kubo babesazi ukuba bafuna abantwana besebancinci. Mna kwelinye icala - bendihlala ndizifundiswa Mhlawumbi yayinento yokwenza nendlela endakhuliswa ngayo,” utshilo uHo.

"Kuye nabani na onengxaki ngengxoxo-mpikiswano yabantwana - ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba uthethe nazo zonke iintlobo zabasetyhini kwaye umamele onke amava ahlukeneyo kunye neembono ezahlukeneyo oomama nabangengomama. Ndiphulaphule kwaye ndiyafunda. Ndifuna ukuze ndikwazi ukwenza isigqibo kwaye ndizive ndinethemba kukhetho lwam, kodwa okwangoku andiziva ngathi ndiyazi ngokwaneleyo, ”uqhube watsho.

U-Ho kamva wavulela abalandeli bakhe malunga nokuthululwa kwenkxaso ayifumene kuthotho lwamabali e-Instagram.

“Bendingazi ukuba bangaphi abanye abafazi phaya abaziva ngale ndlela,” utshilo uHo. "Ndaziva ngathi kukho into engalunganga kum ... Ndiyabulela ngokuqonda kakhulu malunga nesi sihloko. Ndiziva ndingedwa."

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