Ukuzikhusela ngokuxoka kwisuti yakho yokuhlamba nangona isihogo osifunayo

Umxholo

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Iifoto: Leslie Goldman

Kwiholide yamva nje ePlaya del Carmen nomyeni wam, sizenzele ikabana emnandi enomthunzi oqinisekisiweyo (omkhulu kulusu lwam) kunye nomsinga ongapheliyo we-guac (nokuba ungcono kwisisu sam). Sizipholele kumandlalo wethu wosuku opholileyo, ndazivumela ndadlala, ngendlela yeSavasana, njengoko ndandifunda amaphephancwadi, ndakrola ifowuni yam ndaza ndalala.

Rhoqo ngeyure okanye njalo, bendivuka ndiyokuntywila emanzini, emva koko ndome kwisitulo sokuphumla elangeni. Ngaba ndolule, isitayile seSavasana, ngaphandle kwemida yendawo yethu yabucala encinci?

Khange ndi.

Endaweni yoko, ndiye ndathatha iPosition ngokuzenzekelayo. Uyayazi into endithetha ngayo: Omnye umlenze woluliwe uye ngqo, omnye ubekwe ngobuchule kwinqanaba le-45-degree ukwenza ukuba ithanga libonakale lincinci. Umqolo uhlala ugobile kancinane, kwaye iqondo elithile lokuqiniswa liqhubeka esiswini, nangona yonke indawo yokulala iku ~relax~. (Idibeneyo: Abafazi abaKhuselekileyo boMzimba baya kukuKhuthaza ukuba unxibe iBikini ngokuzithemba)

Inyaniso yokuba ndisilele kule ndawo ngokungazamiyo bubungqina bokuba sifundiswe njani njengabafazi. Ndineminyaka engama-42 ubudala, umama owonwabileyo emtshatweni onamantombazana amabini amancinci. Andinamdla wokutsala abakhweli. Ndingumbhali wezempilo wabasetyhini kunye nencwadi yokuzithemba ngomzimba phantsi kwebhanti yam. Amaxesha ambalwa ngonyaka, ndiya kwiikholeji kunye neeyunivesithi ukuhambisa iintetho ezixhobisayo, zothando-zemilo yakho kwiiholo ezigcwele abafazi abancinci. Akufunekanga ukuba ndivumele yonke into ijinga, ndivumele amathanga am ukuba asasazeke kwaye atyhale kunye, ndilibale ngayo nayiphi na into efana ne-abs?

Bekufanele, kodwa andizange.

Kwakungekho kuphela i-bikini-egqoke i-sunbather apho i-preening xa kwakufuneka ndiyikhuphe. Ukujonga ngokukhawuleza kwepanoramic kwendawo yephuli kungqinele kum ukuba phantse onke amanenekazi ayenenqanaba elithile lokuqonda komzimba okwenzekayo. Ukongeza kwi-Position, kwakukho abasetyhini ababonisa ii-iPhones zabo, bebetha zonke iintlobo ze-inane #bikinigram poses-belly down, i-propeed up on the elbows, percheryly on the cariously on the end of pool as they faux-stard into the ulwandle; ehleli enqumle imilenze esitulweni segumbi lokuphumla, isisu sifunxa ngaphakathi, esinye isandla sibambe iglasi yechampagne; uguqe ngamadolo, amathanga aphumle ematholeni, kwavela iimpundu (aka "The Bambi").

Ke kubonakala ngathi sahlulwe saziinkampu ezimbini: Abo baziva bengenangqondo kwaye abo besiva isidingo sokwenza ukuthanda kwabo kwi-Insta. Into esasifana ngayo sonke: Sasisoyika ukunxiba isuti yokuhlamba kwaye, njengoko kuvakala ngathi kuvakala, phumla ngelixa uzonwabele.

Jonga, i-bikini yaqhuma kwindawo yolwandle i-70 + kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, kwaye abafazi bebencanca kwizisu zabo ukusukela ngoko. Ndiqinisekile ukuba umvelisi wayengazami ukwenza umsebenzi ongaphezulu kwabafazi, kodwa uphando lubonisa ukuba kwanokucinga nje ngokuzama isuti yokuhlamba kwenza ukuba abasetyhini bazive bexhelekile ngemizimba yabo. (Inxulumene: Lo Mama ufike kweyona nto ilungileyo emva kokuzama iBikinis kunye nentombi yakhe)

Ukulungiselela iholide kuhlala kubandakanya ukuphakama ekusebenzeni; ukususelwa ngaphandle kwelanga ukuze ungabonakali ubala kakhulu ngoMhla woku-1; uhambo oluya kwi-salon e-waxing; i-no-chip mani/pedi; kwaye uluhlu luyaqhubeka kwaye luqhubeke. Phantse veki nganye, ababhengezi bandibeka kumabali e "bikini" ngemigca yezihloko ezingenangqondo ezinje nge "Tip-Top Tush Booty Facial," "Turn Outtie Your to an Innie in 15 Minutes," and "Non-Invasive Ways to Make your Breast Prettier for Ixesha leBikini."

Nantsi into: Asifuni i-anesthesia yendawo okanye ukuhanjiswa kwamafutha okucwangcisiweyo ukuya elunxwemeni. Akukho mntu ngokwenene uyakhathala ukuba unayo "itonela leToblerone" -isithuba esimile esingunxantathu ekubonakala ukuba kufanele ukuba sivele apho amathanga angaphakathi omfazi adibana khona nengqele yakhe-kuba bonke bakhululekile malunga nabanye abantu abagwebayo kubo. (Kwakhona, imivalo yetshokolethi yaseSwitzerland ingena emlonyeni wakho, hayi phakathi kwemilenze yakho-yongeza oko kuluhlu lwezinto ongaze uzibeke kufutshane nelungu lakho lobufazi.)

Kwakhona, yonke imifanekiso oyibonayo kwezentlalo icacisiwe okanye ayilunganga, kunjalo. Imodeli yokomelela esekwe eAmsterdam uImre Çeçen wamnika abalandeli be-Insta abangama-328,000 + into ebangel 'imincili yenyani ngoJuni wonyaka ophelileyo xa wathumela umfanekiso wakhe obonisa imifanekiso ecaleni kwakhe ejingise iinyawo zakhe echibini. Kumfanekiso ongasekhohlo, obhalwe, "INSTAGRAM," u-Çeçen unemilenze yenja eshushu, umsantsa wethanga, kunye nohlobo lwesisu esicaba-naxa sityibilika esidelela umzimba womntu. Kumfanekiso osekunene, obhalwe, "REALITY," uvumele imilenze yakhe ukuba iphumle ukuze amathanga akhe asasazeke njengamalungu omzimba wenyama kunye nethambo, hayi iimveliso zenyama. Isisu sakhe asisekho concave, #becausebreathing. Umntu okhuphisana naye kwi-Ironman u-Chi Pham uthumele i-pic efanayo ye-keepin'-it-real pooside ethangeni, kulonwabo olukhulu kubalandeli bakhe be-178,000 be-Instagram.

Ukuzama ukuthatha inja eshushu yethanga ifoto yanika u-Çeçen i-hernia, waqhula, kuba "kuye kwafuneka ukuba arch umqolo wam ngathi uphambene, abambe imilenze yam phezulu (umsebenzi obalulekileyo wabandakanyeka) kwaye kwafuneka ndihlale emaphethelweni echibi kubangele ukuba ndiphantse ukuwa. Zombini ikhamera yam kunye nam [phantse] sarhaxwa lusizi lokugqibelela kwe-insta."

Ngokwenene, oko kuvakala kuyindlela edandathekisayo yokufa. Masiyeke ukuzama ukujonga indlela ethile kwiishoti zethu zeselfowuni kwaye sigxile kwindlela ilanga eliziva ngayo eluswini lwethu, ubumnandi bokusela okokuqala kwesiselo sakho esibandayo osikhethileyo. Ngexesha elizayo xa ufumanisa ukuba unxibe isuti esidlangalaleni, yiba nesibindi sokuyekisa unogada wakho. Kuyaphambana ukuba kufuneka sicinge ngale ndlela, kodwa zama ukungawugobi umlenze wakho, okanye kungcono ungakhe uhlale ngobuchule konke konke. Musa ukuzihlamba kuba awunasikroba sethanga okanye impunzi yethanga. Umhlaba unoxinzelelo ngokwaneleyo njengoko unjalo kule mihla, ke ngekhe silonwabele nje ukuba sinethamsanqa lokuba nesanti phakathi kweenzwane zethu ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ukuba umdlalo wethu wokuhamba ngenyawo womelele? Kwiibhedi zethu zokufa, akukho namnye kuthi oya kuthi anqwenele ukuba amathanga akhe abonakale ebhityile echibini, kodwa siya nqwenela ukuba sithathe ixesha elininzi lokuphumla ... kwaye sonwabe xa sisenza oko.

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