Ukungancedi kwe-imeyile kunye nokuthumela imiyalezo kubudlelwane

Umxholo

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Ukuthumela imiyalezo kunye nokuthumela i-imeyile kulula, kodwa ukuzisebenzisa ukuphepha ukungqubana kungakhokelela kwiingxaki zonxibelelwano kubudlelwane. Ukucima ii-imeyile kuyanelisa, kukuvumela ukuba ucande imisebenzi ngaphandle koluhlu lwezinto oza kuzenza ngesantya se-warp. Kodwa ngokungakumbi, abasetyhini bajika kwikhibhodi ngaphezulu kokumisela iintlanganiso. Itekhnoloji yenza kube lula ukuzisa imixholo ehlabayo ngelixa uphepha ukujongana ngezikhondo zamehlo. Kwaye kwihlabathi lethu elixakekileyo, imiyalezo echwethezwe ngokukhawuleza iba endaweni yeencoko ezinentsingiselo ezigcina abantu benxibelelana. Ke ukuba wonke umntu uyayenza, ngaba iyenza ilunge?

Hayi ncma. Kukho, eneneni, izinto ezininzi ezingalunganga ze-imeyile kunye neetekisi. USusan Newman, Ph.D., ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nombhali wexesha elili-13 uthi: "Ungayihoya imiyalezo, akufuneki uphendule imibuzo ongayithandiyo, kwaye awusoze ubone ukuba umonzakalise kangakanani umntu. Siphoswa zizifundo ezixabisekileyo kwinyama-yenyama ezinokusifundisa zona. " Ngokuphonononga iingxaki zedijithali zabasetyhini abathathu (siqinisekile ukuba ayingabo kuphela abajijisana nobuchwepheshe!) UNewman utyhila isizathu sokuba kwimiba yentliziyo, ukuvumela iminwe yakho ukuba ithethe kudla ngokukhokelela kwingozi ngaphezu kokulungileyo. Landela amacebo akhe okusilela kunxibelelwano olusempilweni.

Umzekelo # 1: Ukuthumela imiyalezo emfutshane kunokuguqula umhlobo abe ngumsindo.

Emva kokuba umhlobo efudukele edolophini yakhe, u-Erica Taylor, oneminyaka engama-25 ubudala, wayesenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukunceda umhlobo wakhe ukuba abekhona, emvumela ukuba awele kwigumbi lakhe kwaye amfumane uqeqesho. Kodwa u-Erica wakhathazeka xa umhlobo wakhe engayihoyanga imatrasi yomoya eyenzelwe yena, esenza ibhedi yakhe yangoku (i-a.k.) igumbi lokulala. Umbhalo onobuhlobo ka-Erica (ogcwaliswe ngobuso obunoncumo) ocela umandlalo we-futon ubuyiselwe kwisakhelo sawo kubangele uthotho lwemiyalezo ebuyela umva nangaphandle. Ngaphaya kweengcingo, umsindo unyuke wada umhlobo ka-Erica wachwetheza ukuba uya kuphuma abethe i-internship. Aba babini khange bathethe ukususela ngoko.

Ngokusisiseko uErica wasebenzisa iindlela ezimfutshane zokuthumela imiyalezo ukwenza isicelo kumhlobo. Yintoni engalunganga ngokuthumela umyalezo omfutshane kunye nokushiya imiyalezo yelizwi?

UNewman uthi: “Imibhalo eshunqulelwe kakhulu inikela imikhondo embalwa kwithowuni yomyalezo okanye indlela umntu avakalelwa ngayo njengoko ewubhala,” utsho uNewman, “ekhokelela ekubhidekeni nasekutolikeni phosakeleyo.” Amagama ambalwa angafundwanga kakuhle anokubangela iimpendulo eziphendula idolo ezikhawuleza ziphume esandleni. Ezo zicatshulwa zihlawulwa ngokwasemphefumlweni zinokuphinda zifunde i-ad-infinitum, yongeze ukubetheka ngokusisigxina kwiijabs ezenzakalisayo.

Yintoni omawuyenze endaweni yoko:

Ukuqala kwakho ukufumana umyalezo wombhalo ovakala ngathi unamakhonkco, thintela umnqweno wokuphendula ngohlobo. Endaweni yoko, thatha ifowuni, ucebise uNewman, uthi, "Sibe ngabahlobo ixesha elide. Ngokucacileyo asiboni ngamehlo. Masithethe ngale nto."

Yiya kwiphepha ezimbini ukuze ufumane ezinye indlela yokwenza ubudlelwane obunempilo.

Umzekelo # 2: Ukuthembela kwimiyalezo yeposi yokuhambisa iindaba ezimbi.

UJoanna Riedl, oneminyaka engama-27 ubudala, wayethanda umhlobo wakhe wakudala awayethandana naye kodwa waziva engathandani. Ayinakukwazi ukujongana naye ngeendaba, wabuphelisa ubudlelwane ngeposi yelizwi. Yayingekuko ukuba wayefuna ukumphatha kakubi umfana wakhe; UJoanna woyika ukuba angaziva ehluzekile ukuba unokumxelela ngokwakhe.

Kungekudala emva kokuba evale ifowuni yakhe, kwangena imiyalezo kwiselfowuni yakhe: "Uqhawule umtshato nge-imeyile?" kwaye "Unokwenza njani?" Ujika isixhobo sakhe selizwi se-imeyile ukuya kwisicatshulwa sesithandwa sakhe se-tech-savvy sahambisa umyalezo nge-imeyile. Wawuthumela umyalezo wokwahlukana kubahlobo ukufumana ingcebiso. Ngokukhawuleza yafikelela kwisangqa sonke sesibini esigqibeleleyo esijikeleze umntu othile efrijini. UJoanna waphinda wabuvuselela ubuhlobo ekugqibeleni. Apha, u-Joanna wayethembele kwimiyalezo ye-voice mail ukuhambisa iindaba ezimbi. Konakele phi?

Xa uthembele kwitekhnoloji yokwenza umsebenzi wakho omdaka, ushiya yonke into ukusuka ekutolikeni ukuya ekuhanjisweni komyalezo wakho ukuya kwithuba. "Ungacinga ukuba ukhusela omnye umntu ngokuvumela ukuba bathathe iindaba ezimbi ngasese," utshilo uNewman, "kodwa eyona nto uyithethayo yile 'Ndizikhathalele kuphela. Ndikulungele ukuqhubekeka'. " Awubaleki kuphela emngciphekweni wokwenzakalisa umntu ngokuswela ubuntununtunu, umkhondo wakho wephepha unokukhokelela ekuthotyweni. Kwimeko kaJoanna, iteknoloji yajika oko bekufanele ukuba yincoko yangasese yaba ngumcimbi kawonke-wonke kwaye udumo lwakhe lwaphazamiseka.

Yintoni omawuyenze endaweni yoko:

Yahlukana ubuso ngobuso. Khumbula, amagama asuka entliziyweni asenokubonakala engacacanga nge-inki ebhalwe ngqindilili, kodwa ilizwi elifudumeleyo kunye nebrashi yengalo zinokwenza imimangaliso yokuthomalalisa "Ndiyaphambana ngawe kodwa ayizukusebenza" ukubethwa kukwahlukana.

Umzekelo #3: Ii-imeyile zokugqekeza ukugcina iithebhu kumfo wakho.

Akunjalo kuphela ukubhala i-imeyile kunye neetekisi ezinokwenza ubuhlobo bube bumdaka: Ukufunda imiyalezo yomntu yabucala xa ukrokrela ukuba umhlobo okanye isithandwa sifihla into ethile kufana nokukroba kwidayari etshixiweyo umkhuba onokubuyisela umva. Xa umyeni ka-Kim Ellis oneminyaka engama-28 ubudala waqala ukwenza isimanga emva nje kokuba ezele umntwana wokuqala wesibini, wagqiba kwelokuba angene kwiakhawunti yakhe ye-imeyile. Into ayifumanisileyo yayingamakhulu amanqaku othando phakathi kwakhe nomntu asebenza naye (kugqityiwe ukubhengezwa kothando oluhlala luhleli, ukuphinda-phinda okucacileyo kwesidlo "seshishini" kunye nesicwangciso sokubaleka esineenkcukacha). UKim wayefuna uqhawulo-mtshato.

UKim wabhenela ekugqebheni ii-imeyile ukuze afunde into awayefuna ukuyazi. Konakele phi?

"Ukuqhekeza iikhowudi zephasiwedi ukukroba imiyalezo yabucala yeqabane kubonisa iingxaki ezinkulu zokuthemba," utshilo uNewman. "Ngelixa i-imeyile inokuqinisekisa ukukrokrela ukungathembeki, ayizukuveza nayiphi na imiba engunobangela wokukhokelela kuyo. Mhlawumbi ubudlelwane buqhubekile. Mhlawumbi umcimbi ungasetyenzwa ngokucebisa. Ngaphandle kokwazi eyona ngxaki, akukho themba ukuyisombulula."

Into ekufuneka uyenzile endaweni yoko:

Ukujongana neqabane malunga nokuziphatha okukrokrisayo kunzima, utsho uNewman, kodwa ngaphambi kokuba ungene kwi-imeyile, kungcono ukubuza iqabane lakho ubuso ngobuso, "Kuqhubeka ntoni?" Musa ukuwela kumgibe wetekhnoloji. Njengoko sibonile kwezi meko zintathu, apho kubandakanyeka iimvakalelo, itekhnoloji kunqabile ukuba ikhawuleze ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho kunye neengxaki zonxibelelwano ezinokubonakala ngathi zikhona ekuqaleni.

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