Incoko ephambeneyo: Ndijongana Njani no'Kuphuma 'kwinyani?

Umxholo

• Sawubona Sam, bendisebenza nonyango olutsha ukujongana neziganeko ezibuhlungu ezenzeka xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo. Sathetha kancinci malunga nokuzahlula, kunye nendlela endiqhele "ukujonga" ngokweemvakalelo xa ndichukunyiswa.
• Ndicinga ukuba eyona nto ndisokola nayo kukuhlala ndikhona xa ndindedwa. Kulula kakhulu ukunqamla xa ndihleli ndedwa nakwilizwe lam elincinci. Uhlala njani ukhona xa kungekho mntu uzokukhupha kuyo?
• Ukwahlukana kuchaza uhlobo lokuqhawulwa kwengqondo-ke ubunyanisile kwimali xa uyichaza "njengokujonga"
• Ke siqala njani ukuhamba kude nokwahlulwa kwaye sisebenze ekuphuculeni izakhono zokulwa ngempumelelo?
• 1. Funda ukuphefumla
• 2. Zama iintshukumo zomhlaba
• 3. Fumana iindlela ezikhuselekileyo zokujonga
• 4. Hack indlu yakho
• 5. Yakha iqela lenkxaso
• 6. Gcina ingxelo uze uqalise ukuchonga izinto ezibangela ukuba ubangelwe
• 7. Fumana isilwanyana esixhasayo ngokweemvakalelo
• Usenokuba ucinga, "Kulungile, Sam, kodwa KUTHENI ubuchopho bethu buza kuyenza le nto yokuzahlula xa ingaluncedo kwasekuqaleni?"
• Zama nje ukukhumbula oku: Ingqondo yakho yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukukugcina ukhuselekile.

Uhlala njani usempilweni ngokwasengqondweni xa uwedwa kwaye uzahlula?

Le yiNtetho eNgaqondakaliyo: Ikholamu yengcebiso yokunyaniseka, iingxoxo ezingenampazamo malunga nempilo yengqondo kunye negqwetha uSam Dylan Finch.Ngelixa engenguye umgqirha oqinisekisiweyo, unamava obomi aphila ngokugula okungafunekiyo (OCD). Ufunde izinto ngendlela enzima ukuze wena (ngethemba) ungafuneki.

Unombuzo uSam ekufuneka awuphendule? Fikelela kwaye unokubonakaliswa kwikholamu elandelayo yeCrazy Talk: [email protected]

Sawubona Sam, bendisebenza nonyango olutsha ukujongana neziganeko ezibuhlungu ezenzeka xa ndandikwishumi elivisayo. Sathetha kancinci malunga nokuzahlula, kunye nendlela endiqhele "ukujonga" ngokweemvakalelo xa ndichukunyiswa.

Ndicinga ukuba eyona nto ndisokola nayo kukuhlala ndikhona xa ndindedwa. Kulula kakhulu ukunqamla xa ndihleli ndedwa nakwilizwe lam elincinci. Uhlala njani ukhona xa kungekho mntu uzokukhupha kuyo?

Linda umzuzu!

Uthe akukho mntu unokukunceda "uphume" ekuzahlukaniseni, kodwa ndifuna ukukukhumbuza (ngobumnene!) Ayiyonyani leyo. Nawe ngokwakho! Kwaye ndiyazi ukuba akusoloko kubonakala ngathi kwanele, kodwa ngokuziqhelanisa, ungafumanisa ukuba unezixhobo ezininzi zokumelana nazo onazo kunokuba ucinga.

Phambi kokuba singene koku kubonakala ngathi, nangona kunjalo, ndifuna ukufumanisa ukuba kuthetha ntoni "ukwahlukana" ukuze sibe kwiphepha elinye. Andiqinisekanga ukuba ugqirha wakho ukugcwalise kangakanani, kodwa ekubeni ingumbono okhohlisayo, masiyiqhekeze ngamagama alula.

Ukwahlukana kuchaza uhlobo lokuqhawulwa kwengqondo-ke ubunyanisile kwimali xa uyichaza "njengokujonga"

Kodwa kungaphezu kokuphupha nje! Ukwahlulwa kunokuchaphazela amava akho okuba ngubani, inkumbulo kunye nokuqonda, kunye nokuchaphazela ulwazi lwakho ngawe nakwindawo ekungqongileyo.

Into enomdla kukuba ibonisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kubantu abahlukeneyo. Andazi malunga neempawu zakho ezithile, ndiza kudwelisa "iincasa" ezahlukeneyo zokwahlukana.

Mhlawumbi uya kuziqonda kwezi zilandelayo:

• Ukubuyela umva (ukuphinda ujonge umzuzu odlulileyo, ngakumbi umothuko)
• Ukuphulukana nokunxibelelana nento eqhubekayo ecaleni kwakho (njengokubeka isithuba phakathi)
• ukungakwazi ukukhumbula izinto (okanye ingqondo yakho "ingabinanto")
• ukuzenza umntu (amava angaphandle komzimba, ngokungathi uzijonge umgama)
• derealization (apho izinto ziziva zingeyonyani, ngokungathi usephupheni okanye kwimuvi)

Oku kwahlukile kunesifo sokungazibonakalisi (DID), esichaza iseti yeempawu ezibandakanya ukungafani kodwa nesiphumo sokuqhekeka kwesazisi sakho (beka enye indlela, isazisi sakho "sahlukana" kwinto uninzi lwabantu ekubhekiswa kuyo njengobuntu obuninzi ”).

Uninzi lwabantu bacinga ukuba ukwahlukana ngokuthe ngqo kubantu abane-DID, kodwa akunjalo! Njengophawu, inokubonisa inani leemeko zempilo yengqondo, kubandakanya ukudakumba kunye ne-PTSD.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, uya kufuna ukuthetha nomboneleli wezempilo ukuba uchaze ukuba kutheni ufumana le nto (kodwa kuyavakala ngathi umgqirha wakho kwimeko, ulungile kuwe!).

Ke siqala njani ukuhamba kude nokwahlulwa kwaye sisebenze ekuphuculeni izakhono zokulwa ngempumelelo?

Ndonwabile ukuba ubuzile-nazi ezinye zezindululo zam ezizezinyani:

1. Funda ukuphefumla

Ukwahlukana kuhlala kubangelwa yimpendulo yomlo-okanye-wenqwelomoya. Ukuze ulwe naloo nto, kubalulekile ukwazi indlela yokuzihlaziya ngokwakho ngokuphefumla.

Ndicebisa ukuba ndifunde ibhokisi yokuphefumla, ebonakalisiweyo ukulawula nokuzola inkqubo ye-autonomic nervous system (ANS). Le yindlela yokubonisa umzimba wakho kunye nengqondo ukuba ukhuselekile!

2. Zama iintshukumo zomhlaba

Ndikuthiyile ukucebisa ngeyoga ebantwini kuba inokubonwa njengeyinto engenamsebenzi.

Kodwa kule meko, umsebenzi womzimba ubaluleke kakhulu xa sithetha ngokwahlulwa! Ukuze sihlale somhlaba kufuneka sibekhona kwimizimba yethu.

Ukubuyisela i-yoga yeyona ndlela ndiyithandayo yokubuyela emzimbeni wam. Luhlobo lobumnene, i-yoga ehamba kancinci endivumela ukuba ndolule, ndigxile ekuphefumlweni kwam, kwaye ndikhulule izihlunu zam.

Uhlelo lokusebenza lwenja ephantsi lukhulu ukuba ujonge ukuyizama. Ndithatha iiklasi kwiYin Yoga kwaye baye banceda kakhulu, nabo.

Ukuba ujonga i-yoga elula ebangela ukuba uzihlaziye, eli nqaku liphula iindlela ezahlukeneyo kwaye likubonisa ukuba uzenza njani!

3. Fumana iindlela ezikhuselekileyo zokujonga

Ngamanye amaxesha kuya kufuneka ucime ingqondo okwethutyana. Ngaba ikhona indlela ekhuselekileyo yokwenza oko, nangona kunjalo? Ngaba ukhona umabonwakude onokubukela, umzekelo? Ndiyathanda ukwenza ikomityi yeti okanye icocoa eshushu ndibukele uBob Ross epeyinta "imithi yakhe eyonwabileyo" kwiNetflix.

Ziphathe ngokwakho ngokungathi ungumhlobo okhululeke kakhulu. Ndihlala ndixelela abantu ukuba baphathe iziqendu ezingafaniyo nanjengoko ungathi uyoyika, kuba zivela kwiindlela ezifanayo "zokulwa okanye zokubaleka".

Into engaqhelekanga malunga nokuzahlula kukuba ungaziva nantoni na kwaphela - kodwa yingqondo yakho esenza konke okusemandleni ukukhusela.

Ukuba kuyanceda ukucinga ngale ndlela, yenza ngathi kukuhlaselwa ngoxinzelelo (ngaphandle kokuba umntu uthathe irimothi kwaye wacofa "isimumu"), kwaye wenze indawo ekhuselekileyo ngokufanelekileyo.

4. Hack indlu yakho

Ndine-PTSD entsonkothileyo kwaye izinto ezinoluvo ejikeleze indlu yam ziye zasindisa ubomi.

Umzekelo, kwindawo yam yokulala ebusuku, ndigcina i-lavender yeoyile ebalulekileyo yokutshiza kumqamelo wam xa ndilala phantsi ukuze ndiphefumle nzulu.

Ndigcina iingubo ezithambileyo kwisingqengqelo ngasinye, itreyi yomkhenkce kwisikhenkcezisi (ukucudisa iityhubhu zomkhenkce kunceda ukundikhupha kwiziqendu zam), iilollipops ukugxila ekungcamleni into ethile, ukuhlamba umzimba we-citrus ukundivusa kancinci eshaweni, nangaphezulu.

Ungazigcina zonke ezi zinto “kwibhokisi yohlangulo” ukuze igcinwe ikhuselekile, okanye igcinwe kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zekhaya lakho. Isitshixo kukuqinisekisa ukuba bayazibandakanya izivamvo!

5. Yakha iqela lenkxaso

Oku kubandakanya oogqirha (njengonyango kunye nonyango lwengqondo), kodwa nabantu obathandayo onokuthi ubatsalele umnxeba xa ufuna umntu onokuthetha naye. Ndiyathanda ukugcina uluhlu lwabantu abathathu ukuya kwabahlanu endinokutsalela umnxeba kwikhadi lesalathiso kwaye "ndibathanda" kunxibelelwano lwam lwefowuni ukufikelela ngokulula.

Ukuba awunayo abantu abakungqongileyo "abayifumanayo," ndidibene nabantu abaninzi abathandekayo nabaxhasayo kumaqela enkxaso ye-PTSD. Ngaba zikhona izibonelelo kwindawo yakho ezinokukunceda wakhe ukhuseleko?

6. Gcina ingxelo uze uqalise ukuchonga izinto ezibangela ukuba ubangelwe

Ukwahlukana kwenzeka ngesizathu. Usenokungazi ukuba sesiphi eso sizathu ngoku, kwaye kulungile! Kodwa ukuba inefuthe kubomi bakho, kubalulekile ukuba uqiniseke ukuba usebenza nengcali yezempilo yengqondo ukuze ufunde izixhobo ezingcono zokujamelana nokuchonga izinto ezibangela ukuba ubenakho.

Ukugcina iphepha kunokunceda ekukhanyiseni ezinye zezinto zakho ezinokubangela.

Xa unesiqendu se-dissociative, thatha ixesha ukubuyisa amanyathelo akho kwaye ujonge amaxesha akhokelela kuwo. Oku kunokuba kubalulekile ekuqondeni okungcono ukulawula indlela yokuzahlula.

Ngenxa yokuba ukwahlukana kunokuchaphazela inkumbulo yakho, ukuyibhala phantsi kuyaqinisekisa ukuba xa udibana nonyango lwakho uya kuba namanqaku ekubhekiswa kuwo onokubuyela kuwo, ukwakha umfanekiso ocacileyo wento eyenzekayo kuwe.

Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba ungaqala ngaphi, esi siKhokelo se-BS sokuCwangcisa iiMvakalelo zakho sinokukunika itemplate oza kusebenza nayo!

7. Fumana isilwanyana esixhasayo ngokweemvakalelo

Anditsho ukuba ubalekela kwindawo yokuhlala yezilwanyana ekufuphi kwaye uzise injana ekhaya - kuba ukuzisa umhlobo onoboya ekhaya kunokuba yinto ebangela ukuba ibe nguwe (uqeqesho lwembiza intshontsho libuhlungu elinokuba nefuthe elichasene nempilo yakho yengqondo).

Ndiyakuxelela ngamava, nangona kunjalo, ukuba ikati yam iPancake ibutshintshe ngokupheleleyo ubomi bam. Uyikati endala ekrelekrele ngokumangalisayo, enomdla, kwaye ethanda ukuwoliswa - kwaye uyi-ESA yam ebhalisiweyo ngesizathu.

Nangaliphi na ixesha ndinengxaki yempilo yengqondo, uyakumfumana ehleli esifubeni sam, ecoca kude kube ukuphefumla kwam kuthoba.

Ke xa ndikuxelela ukuba ufumane isilwanyana senkxaso, kufanele ukuba ibe yinto obeka ingcinga eninzi kuyo. Cinga ngoxanduva onokuthi uluthathe, ubuntu bomgxeki, indawo onayo, kwaye uqhakamshelane nendawo yokuhlala ukuze ubone ukuba ungalufumana na uncedo lokufumana umdlalo ogqibeleleyo.

Usenokuba ucinga, "Kulungile, Sam, kodwa KUTHENI ubuchopho bethu buza kuyenza le nto yokuzahlula xa ingaluncedo kwasekuqaleni?"

Lowo ngumbuzo ofanelekileyo. Impendulo? Mhlawumbi kunjalo wayenjalo iluncedo ngexesha elinye. Akusekho nje.

Kungenxa yokuba ukwahlulwa, kumbindi wayo, yimpendulo ekhuselayo kukonzakala.

Ivumela iingqondo zethu ukuba zithathe ikhefu kwinto eyibona isoyikisa. Mhlawumbi kukubheja okukhuselekileyo okuthi, ngaxa lithile okanye kwelinye, ukwahlukana kuncede ujongane nezinto ezinzima kakhulu ebomini.

Kodwa ayikuncedisi ngoku, yiyo loo nto ingxaki okuyo. Kungenxa yokuba ayisiyiyo indlela yokulwa nayo yonke into eluncedo kwixesha elide.

Ngelixa inakho (kwaye ihlala isenza) ukusinceda xa sisengozini kwangoko, ingaqala ukuphazamisa ubomi bethu xa singekho kwimeko eyoyikisayo.

Ukuba iluncedo, yiba nomfanekiso ngqondweni wakho njengomlondolozi okrelekrele ovuthela impempe yakhe nangaliphi na ixesha xa ukufutshane namanzi- nokuba iphuli ayinanto, okanye yiphuli nje yomntwana emva kwendlu yomntu… okanye sisinki sakho.

Ezo ziganeko zibuhlungu (ngethemba) zidlulile, kodwa umzimba wakho usaphendula ngokungathi awukwenzi! Ukwahlulwa, ngaloo ndlela, kuye kwakho ukugcwala ukwamkelwa kwabo.

Ke injongo yethu apha kukufumana lo mlondolozi we-neurotic ukuze apholise i-eff, kwaye siphinde sibafundise ukuba baqonde ukuba zeziphi iimeko kwaye azikhuselekanga.

Zama nje ukukhumbula oku: Ingqondo yakho yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukukugcina ukhuselekile.

Ukwahlukana akuyona into enokuba neentloni ngayo, kwaye oko akuthethi ukuba "wophukile." Ngapha koko, ibonisa ukuba ingqondo yakho isebenza nyhani, kunzima kakhulu ukukukhathalela!

Ngoku unethuba lokufunda iindlela ezintsha zokulwa, kwaye ngokuhamba kwexesha, ingqondo yakho ayizukufuna ukuthembela kwiindlela ezindala ezingakusebenzisi ngoku.

Ndiyazi ukuba kunokoyikisa ukwahlukana. Kodwa iindaba ezimnandi kukuba, awunamandla. Ingqondo lilungu elinokuziqhelanisa ngokumangalisayo-kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha ufumana indlela entsha yokudala ukhuseleko kuwe, ingqondo yakho ithatha amanqaku.

Dlulisa umbulelo wam kuleya ngqondo yakho imangalisayo, ngendlela! Ndonwabile ngokwenene ukuba uselapha.

Sam

USam Dylan Finch ungummeli okhokelayo kwi-LGBTQ + yezempilo yengqondo, efumene ukwamkelwa kwilizwe jikelele ngebhlog yakhe, Masithi Queer Things Up!, Eyaqala ukuba nentsholongwane ngo-2014. Isazisi se-transgender, ukukhubazeka, ezopolitiko kunye nomthetho, kunye nokunye okuninzi. Ukuzisa ubuchule bakhe obudibeneyo kwimpilo yoluntu nakwimidiya yedijithali, uSam ngoku usebenza njengomhleli wentlalontle eHealthline.