Ngaba Ukwabelana Ngesondo Ngakumbi Kukhokelela Kubudlelwane Obungcono?

Umxholo

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Sonke sifumene abo bahlobo bafungayo ukuba banelisekile kakhulu ngobudlelwane babo nangona ixesha lokugqibela bexakeka kwiiveki ezidlulileyo. Ewe, ngokutsho kophononongo olutsha, ayingo B.S.-ingwena-okanye, ubuncinci, abaqondi ukuba banjalo. (Pst... Khawuzibuze ukuba abanye abantu balala ngesondo kaninzi kangakanani?)

Ukuphindaphindeka apho ufumana i-frisky kunefuthe kwindlela oneliseke ngayo kubudlelwane bakho, ngokophando olutsha olupapashwe kwiphephancwadi Inzululwazi yezeengqondo kodwa ayichanekanga njengokuba ucinga.

Ukusuka kwimbono yokuzivelela kwezinto, kokukhona wena kunye nebae nichitha ixesha kwigumbi lokulala, kokoneliseka ngakumbi ukuba kufanele ukuba-ngokoqobo nangokufuziselayo. Ukwabelana ngesondo kusebenza njengendlela yokukudibanisa kunye (duh), nto leyo ibalulekileyo kwezo zilondolozo zohlobo lokuphila njengokuzala kunye nokukhulisa abantwana. Kodwa nanini na abaphandi bebuza abantu abathandanayo ukuba babelana ngesondo kangaphi kwaye baneliseke kangakanani ngobudlelwane babo ngokubanzi, abafumananga lunxulumano phakathi kobungakanani besondo obabelana nabo kunye nendlela owonwabe ngayo. (Olunye uphononongo luye lwafumanisa ukuba ukuba nesondo ngakumbi Awuyi kuyenza Yenza ukuba wonwabe kubudlelwane.) Yintoni enika?

Ukuphonononga oku kungangqinelani, abaphandi abavela kwiYunivesithi yaseFlorida State bavavanye kungekuphela nje iimpendulo ezizezabatshati kodwa kunye neemvakalelo zabo zokungazi malunga namaqabane abo. Kwisifundo, abangama-216 abasandul 'ukutshata bathathe uvavanyo ukulinganisa ulwaneliseko lobuhlobo. Babuzwa imibuzo malunga nokuba ulungile okanye umbi kangakanani umtshato wabo, ukuba babelane kangakanani na, kunye nendlela abaneliseke ngayo ngamaqabane abo kunye nobudlelwane babo. Njengakwizifundo zangaphambili, kwakungekho buhlobo phakathi kwezihlandlo ezibini abantu abathandana besabelana ngesondo kunye nolwalamano lwabo oluxeliweyo.

Kodwa emva koko izibini zigqibe umsebenzi wokuvavanya inqanaba lesisu kwiimvakalelo ezingachazwanga malunga neqabane labo. Umthathi-nxaxheba ngamnye uboniswe igama ekwakufuneka alahlule njengelilungileyo okanye elibi, kodwa ngaphambi kokuba igama livele, ifoto yeqabane labo yadanyaza kwiscreen umzuzwana omnye. Ingcamango kukuba ngokumisela abathathi-nxaxheba ngomfanekiso we-SO yabo, ixesha labo lokuphendula liya kuchaphazeleka-ngokukhawuleza baphendule kumagama afanelekileyo kunye nokucotha kwabo baphendule kumagama amabi kuya kubonisa iimvakalelo ezintle ezizenzekelayo ezizenzekelayo malunga neqabane labo. (Fumanisa ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bunxulumana njani nempilo yakho.)

Ngoku abaphandi bafumene unxulumano: Okukhona izibini zixakekile, kokukhona ziba nonxulumano olwakhayo neqabane lazo.

Ke ngaba oku kuthetha ukuba awunazo iiseshoni zemihla ngemihla phakathi kwamaphepha ubudlelwane bakho buyatshabalala? Hayi. Kodwa iyachaza ukuba kutheni ungaqala uzive ushushu kwaye ungonwabanga malunga nomntu olele naye kwirej, ungakhange uyiqonde. Okukwintsusa: Ukwabelana ngesondo kunokudala ii-vibes ezintle esinokuthi singaziqapheli; nikela ingqalelo, kwaye ke uzisebenzise ngobulumko! (Ufuna ukukhuthazwa? Zama iZikhundla eziPhezulu zoSondo kumazwe aMazwe aHlabathi.)

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