Iindlela ezi-3 zomlingane wakho zokutya ezingalunganga zinokubonisa kulwalamano lwakho

Umxholo

• Imiba enomfanekiso womzimba ibaleka nzulu
• 2. Izinto ezinxulumene nokutya zinokubangela uxinzelelo
• 3. Ukuvula kunokuba nzima
• Unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo luvumela iqabane lakho ukuba babelane ngeengxaki zabo, bacele inkxaso, kwaye bomeleze ubudlelwane bakho

Kwaye yintoni onokuyenza okanye oyithethayo ukunceda.

Ngomnye umhla wam wokuqala nomlingane wam wangoku, kwindawo yokutyela engasasebenziyo yaseIndiya ePhiladelphia, babeka ifolokhwe yabo, bajonga kakubi, babuza, "Ndingakuxhasa njani ekuphulukaneni kwakho nengxaki yokutya?"

Nangona ndingathanda ukuba nale ngxoxo kunye neqaqobana lamaqabane kule minyaka idlulileyo, ngequbuliso ndandingaqinisekanga ukuba mandithini. Akukho namnye kubudlelwane bam bangaphambili obenze inqaku lokundibuza lo mbuzo. Endaweni yoko, bendisoloko ndinyanzela ulwazi malunga nokuba ingxaki yam yokutya ingabonakala njani kulwalamano lwethu naba bantu.

Into yokuba iqabane lam liqonde ukubaluleka kwale ncoko- kwaye yathatha uxanduva lokuyiqala- yayisisipho endingazange ndasinikwa ngaphambili. Kwaye kwakubaluleke ngaphezu kokuba abantu abaninzi beqonda.

Kuphononongo luka-2006 olwalujonge indlela ababhinqileyo abane-anorexia amanosa abanamava ngayo kubudlelwane babo bothando, aba bafazi babhekisa kumaqabane abo ekuqondeni iingxaki zabo zokutya njengeyona nto ibalulekileyo yokuziva besondele kwiimvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, amaqabane ahlala engazi ukuba ingxaki yokutya yeqabane labo inokuluchaphazela njani ulwalamano lwabo lothando- okanye nendlela yokuqala ezi ncoko.

Ukunceda, ndiqulunqe iindlela ezintathu zobuqhophololo ezinokubonisa ukuba ingxaki yokutya yeqabane lakho inokubonakalisa kulwalamano lwakho, kunye nento onokuyenza ukubanceda ukubaxhasa kumzabalazo wabo okanye ekubuyeni kwabo.

Imiba enomfanekiso womzimba ibaleka nzulu

Xa kuziwa kumfanekiso womzimba phakathi kwabantu abanengxaki yokutya, le micimbi inokuhamba ngokunzulu. Kungenxa yokuba abantu abanengxaki yokutya, ngakumbi abo bangabafazi, kunokwenzeka ngakumbi kunabanye ukuba babe nomfanekiso ongathandekiyo womzimba.

Ngapha koko, umfanekiso ongathandekiyo womzimba yenye yeendlela zokuqala zokufumanisa ukuba une-anorexia nervosa. Ihlala ibizwa ngokuba ngumzimba ophazamisayo, la mava anokuba neziphumo ezibi ezininzi kubantu abanengxaki yokutya, kubandakanya nokwabelana ngesondo.

Kwabasetyhini, umfanekiso ongathandekiyo womzimba unokungena konke iindawo zomsebenzi wesondo kunye nolwaneliseko-ukusuka kumnqweno kunye nokuvuselela ukuya kwi-orgasm. Xa kuziwa kwindlela oku kungabonakala ngayo kubudlelwane bakho, ungafumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho liphepha ukulala ngesondo kunye nezibane zikhanyisiwe, ziyayeka ukukhulula iimpahla ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo, okanye nokuba ziphazamiseke ngelixesha kuba becinga ngendlela abajongeka ngayo.

Into onokuyenza Ukuba uliqabane lomntu onengxaki yokutya, ukuqinisekiswa kwakho kunye nokuqinisekiswa komtsalane wakho kwiqabane lakho kubalulekile-kwaye kuyanceda. Qiniseka ukuba ukhumbule ukuba kunokuba kungonelanga ukusombulula ingxaki ngokwakho. Khuthaza iqabane lakho ukuba lithethe ngemizabalazo yabo, kwaye uzame ukumamela ngaphandle komgwebo. Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba oku akuyi malunga nawe nothando lwakho - kumalunga neqabane lakho kunye nokuphazamiseka kwabo.

2. Izinto ezinxulumene nokutya zinokubangela uxinzelelo

Uninzi lwezenzo zothando ezamkelweyo ngokwenkcubeko zibandakanya ukutya - ibhokisi yetshokholethi yoSuku lweValentine, ubusuku bokuya kumdlalo wenkundla ukonwabela ukukhwela kunye neelekese zomqhaphu, umhla kwivenkile yokutyela entle. Kodwa kubantu abanengxaki yokutya, ubukho bokutya bunokubangela uloyiko. Nokuba abantu bachacha banokuchaphazeleka xa baziva bengalawuleki malunga nokutya.

Kungenxa yokuba, ngokuchasene nenkolelo edumileyo, abantu abayikhulisi ingxaki yokutya ngenxa yokubhitya njengomgangatho wobuhle.

Endaweni yoko, iingxaki zokutya zizigulo ezintsonkothileyo ezinefuthe lokuzalwa, kwengqondo, kunye nenkcubeko, zihlala zinxulumene neemvakalelo zokutyeba nokulawula. Ngapha koko, ubukho bokutya kunye noxinzelelo lwexinzelelo kunye yinto eqhelekileyo.

Ngokwe-National Eating Disorders Association, iingxaki zokuxhalaba zenzeka kuma-48 ukuya kuma-51 ekhulwini abantu abane-anorexia nervosa, ama-54 ukuya kuma-81 ekhulwini abantu abane-bulimia amanosa, kunye nama-55 ukuya kuma-65 ekhulwini abantu abanengxaki yokutya.

Into onokuyenza Imisebenzi enxulumene nokutya inokubangela uxinzelelo kubantu abanengxaki yokutya, kwaye ngenxa yoku, kungcono ukunqanda oku ukuphatha njengothusayo. Nokuba umntu okwangoku unayo, okanye uyachacha ngoku, kukuphazamiseka kwindlela yokutya, banokufuna ixesha lokuzilungiselela ukwenza imisebenzi ebandakanya ukutya. Ngena kwiqabane lakho malunga neemfuno zabo. Ngaphezu koko, qiniseka ukuba ukutya akukaze kuvele kubo-nokuba zithandeka kangakanani iinjongo zakho zekhekhe lokuzalwa.

3. Ukuvula kunokuba nzima

Ukuxelela umntu ukuba unayo-okanye unayo-ingxaki yokutya ayisoze yalula. Ibala lezempilo yengqondo likhona kuyo yonke indawo, kwaye iingcinga ezimalunga nokutya zininzi. Ukudityaniswa kwinto yokuba abantu abanengxaki yokutya rhoqo kwaye abafazi abanengxaki yokutya babonisa amathuba aphezulu okuba namava angolwalamano, ukuba nencoko esondeleyo malunga nengxaki yokutya yeqabane lakho kungangqineka kunzima.

Kodwa ukudala isithuba seqabane lakho lokuthetha nawe malunga namava abo sisiseko sokwakha ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nabo.

Ngapha koko, uphononongo lufumanise ukuba, xa bejonga indlela abasetyhini abaneanorexia amanosa abazitolika ngayo iimfuno zabo malunga nokusondelelana, ukuphazamiseka kwabo ekutyeni kudlale indima kwinqanaba lokusondela ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni abaziva kubudlelwane babo. Ngaphaya koko, ukukwazi ukuxoxa esidlangalaleni ngamava abo okuphazamiseka kokutya kunye namaqabane abo yayiyenye indlela yokwakha ukuthembana kubudlelwane babo.

Into onokuyenza Ukubakho ukuxoxa ngengxaki yokutya yeqabane lakho ngokungafihlisiyo nangokunyaniseka, kwaye nomdla obonakalisiweyo, kunokubanceda bazive bekhuselekile kwaye benyanisekile kulwalamano. Khumbula nje ukuba awunyanzelekanga ukuba wazi impendulo egqibeleleyo kulwabiwo lwabo. Ngamanye amaxesha ukumamela nokunikezela ngenkxaso kwanele.

Unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo luvumela iqabane lakho ukuba babelane ngeengxaki zabo, bacele inkxaso, kwaye bomeleze ubudlelwane bakho

Ukuthandana nomntu onengxaki yokutya akufani nokuthandana nomntu onesifo esinganyangekiyo okanye ukukhubazeka-kuza nemiceli mngeni yayo eyahlukileyo. Kukho, nangona kunjalo, izisombululo kule mingeni, uninzi lwazo luxhomekeke ekunxibelelaneni ngokukhululekileyo neqabane lakho malunga neemfuno zabo. Unxibelelwano olukhuselekileyo, oluvulekileyo luhlala lisisiseko solwalamano olonwabileyo, olusempilweni. Ivumela iqabane lakho ukuba labelane ngeengxaki zabo, bacele inkxaso, kwaye ke ngoko bomeleze ubudlelwane bebonke. Ukunika iqabane lakho ngengxaki yokutya indawo yokwenza loo mava ayinxalenye yonxibelelwano lwakho kunokubanceda kuphela kuhambo lwabo.

UMelissa A. Fabello, PhD, ngutitshala olwela amalungelo oluntu omsebenzi wakhe ugxile kwezopolitiko zomzimba, kwinkcubeko yobuhle, nakwingxaki yokutya. Mlandele kwi-Twitter nakwi-Instagram.