Uyazi njani into kwaye ujongane nayo nokungafezeki ngokweemvakalelo

Umxholo

• Yintoni kanye kanye?
• Zeziphi iimpawu eziphambili?
• Abayi kungena nzulu
• Yonke into imalunga nabo
• Baye bazikhusele
• Banemicimbi yokuzibophelela
• Azinazo iimpazamo zabo
• Uziva ulilolo ngakumbi kunangaphambili
• Uyiphatha njani
• Qalisa incoko ethe ngqo
• Yenza imida esempilweni
• Funa uncedo lweengcali
• Umgca wezantsi

Yiba nalo mfanekiso: Uhleli edolophini kunye neqabane lakho kwindawo yokutyela entsha entle. Yonke into ibonakala ifezekile. Kodwa xa uzama ukubabuza ngekamva lakho kunye, bahlala betshintsha umxholo.

Okokugqibela, uyalatha, kuphela ukuba baqhekeze ihlaya ngeendleko zakho-bakushiye uziva unxunguphalo.

Ngelixa sonke besinamaxesha ethu okuba ngabantwana, ezi zinto zingathandekiyo zingaphela zithatha uxinzelelo kubudlelwane, kuba omnye umntu uye wasilela ekuthatheni ingqalelo yeemvakalelo zakho.

Yintoni kanye kanye?

Umntu ongafakwanga ngokweemvakalelo uyakufumana kunzima ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo okanye ukuqhubekeka neemvakalelo zabo kwaye uhlala ebonakala ngathi uzingca okanye uyakhathala.

Zeziphi iimpawu eziphambili?

Nanku ukujonga ezinye zeempawu zokungakhuli ngokwasemphefumlweni ezinokubonakalisa kubudlelwane kunye namanyathelo onokuwathatha ukuba uyaziqonda ngokwakho.

Abayi kungena nzulu

Njengoko sinokubona kule meko ingentla, iqabane elingakhulanga ngokwasemphefumlweni liya kulibazisa iincoko ezinzima kuba azikwazi ukwenza uvakalelo lweemvakalelo zabo okanye zifumanise ukuba zinzima kakhulu ukujongana nazo.

Baza kukroba umphezulu wezihloko ngaphandle kokutyhila okuninzi kwaye abayi kunxibelelana nawe kwinqanaba elinzulu.

Nazi ezinye zeendlela zokuphambuka abanokuzisebenzisa:

• ehleka endaweni yokuvula
• Ukuxelela ukuba kufuneka balungise i-TV ngalo mzuzu
• besithi banoxinzelelo olukhulu lokuthetha
• ukumisa ingxoxo yakho kwiveki ezayo

Yonke into imalunga nabo

Le yinto enkulu. Abantu abangakhuli ngokwasemphefumlweni baya kuhlala bezisa "me factor" ngamaxesha angafanelekanga. Banokuba nobunzima bokuqonda ukuba umhlaba awubajikelezi.

Ukuba iqabane lakho alinikeli ngqalelo kwiinkxalabo zakho okanye kwimidla, luphawu olucacileyo lokuba banokukhula ngokweemvakalelo.

Baye bazikhusele

Ukuba uza nento, baya kuzikhusela ngokugqithiseleyo.

Umzekelo, ukuba ukhalaza ukuba abayikhuphi inkunkuma njengoko bebetshilo, baya kuphendula bathi "Kutheni uhlala kum?" okanye uqhekeze ihlaya elihlazo ngathi, "Kubonakala ngathi iPMSing yomntu."

Banemicimbi yokuzibophelela

Ukuthetha ngekamva kunokuziva usoyikeka kumntu ongekakhuli ngokweemvakalelo. Bayakuphepha ukucwangcisa izinto kunye kuba boyika ukunciphisa inkululeko yabo.

Ngaba benza izizathu zokungahlangani nabazali bakho okanye ukuzama ukwenza ishedyuli kunye? Kungangumqondiso ukuba bazibophelele-phobic.

Azinazo iimpazamo zabo

Ngamafutshane: Abaphenduli.

Endaweni yokuba bacinge kwaye bavume xa bephazamisile, baya kubeka ityala kwabanye abantu okanye kwiimeko ezingaphaya kolawulo lwabo.

Nazi izinto abanokuzithetha:

• "Umphathi wam uqhubeka endithumela ii-imeyile kwaye khange ndisondele kuyo."
• "USteve ebefuna esinye isiselo ukuze ndingakwazi ukufika ekhaya ngexesha elifanelekileyo."
• "Umncedisi wam ulibele ukundikhumbuza umhla wesidlo sasemini sanamhlanje."

Uziva ulilolo ngakumbi kunangaphambili

Ngaphezulu kwayo nantoni na, uziva ulilolo kwaye uziva "umsantsa osondeleyo" kubudlelwane bakho.

Ukudibanisa okanye ukunxibelelana nezinye zakho ezibalulekileyo kuyaqina ngenxa yokuba uziva unenkxaso, ukuqonda kunye nentlonipho.

Akukho ndlela yokuba uchaze iimfuno zakho kunye neminqweno yokuxoxa ngokuphuculwa.

Uyiphatha njani

Ukuba uzibona unqwala kunye kwaye uyayiqonda le miqondiso ingentla kwiqabane lakho, ayililo lonke ithemba elilahlekileyo. Ukungavuthwa ngokweemvakalelo akuthethi ukuba izinto azimiselwanga ukuba zisebenze.

Into ephambili apha kukuba omnye umntu kunjalo uzimisele ukwenza utshintsho. Ukuba kunjalo, apha ngezantsi ezinye zeendlela onokuthi uzive kolu hlobo lokuziphatha.

Qalisa incoko ethe ngqo

Yazisa kubo. Enye yezona zinto zilula kodwa zinamandla esinokuzenza kukuthetha nomnye umntu kwaye sivulele ingxelo.

Unokubazisa ukuba indlela abaziphatha ngayo ikuchaphazela njani ngokusebenzisa iingxelo zika- “Ndi” emva koko ucebise ngezisombululo ezinokubakho.

Oku kuqeqesha ingqondo yakho ukuba iphendule, kwaye ungaphenduli ngenxa yomsindo okanye unxunguphalo.

Nazi ezinye zezi zinto zilandelayo onokuzama ngazo:

• “Xa sasihlala kunye, sasiceba ukutshata kunyaka nje omnye. Ndiziva ndibuhlungu kwaye ndinexhala lokuba awuzukuxoxa ngesihloko nam kwakhona. Ungandinceda ndifumane izizathu zokuba uthandabuza? ”
• “Xa ndisenza imisebenzi emininzi kangaka endlini yonke imihla, ndiziva ndidiniwe kwaye ndidiniwe. Ngaba zikhona iindlela ondincedisa ngazo ekuhlambeni iimpahla nasekulungiseni ukutya? ”

Yenza imida esempilweni

Yeka ukukhetha i-slack yeqabane lakho kunye nokuzibandakanya nabo xa besiza nezizathu zokukhetha gwenxa.

Kubalulekile ukuba baqonde ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo ineziphumo kwaye awuyi kuhlala uthatha inxaxheba kwimpilo yabo.

Apha ngezantsi kukho ezinye iindlela zokuzithemba ngakumbi kunye nokuseta imida:

• Yiba nolwazi. Yiba nolwazi ngenqanaba lakho lokuthuthuzela. Chonga ukuba zeziphi iimeko ezikwenza uzive ukhathazekile, ungakhululekanga, okanye unomsindo.
• Nxibelelana neqabane lakho. Chaza ukuba kukho izinto ezithile ongazukuzinyamezela, njengokukhwazwa okanye ukuxokiswa.
• Landela oko ukuthethayo. Akukho ngaphandle. Oku kunokuthetha ukuthatha indlela ephezulu ngexesha lomsindo kwaye ubazise ukuba uya kukulungela ukuthetha xa sele bekulungele ukuxoxa ngezinto bekhulile.

Funa uncedo lweengcali

Ukuthetha ngoloyiko kunye nokungaqiniseki kunokunceda umntu akhule ngakumbi ngokwazi malunga nefuthe lezenzo zabo kwabanye.

Ukuba iqabane lakho likulungele ukuzisebenzela, ukujongana nemicimbi kunye nonyango olufanelekileyo kunokubanceda babone iimvakalelo zabo kwaye bafumane izakhono zokulwa impilo.

Umgca wezantsi

Ukukhula ngokweemvakalelo kuchazwa ngokwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zethu kwaye sithathe uxanduva olupheleleyo ngezenzo zethu. Ekupheleni kosuku, nokuba singazama kangakanani na ukunxibelelana neqabane lethu, kuxhomekeke kubo ukuqonda ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo kufuneka itshintshe.

Ukuba benikunye ngonaphakade kwaye uziva ukuba kukho ithuba elihle lokuba abayi kukhula kwiindlela zabo zobuntwana, lixesha lokuba uqhubeke. Umqondiso omnye ongenangqondo? Baqhubeka besenza iimpazamo ezifanayo amaxesha ngamaxesha.

Khumbula: Ufanele ukuba kubudlelwane obunothando, obuxhasayo kunye neqabane elikuxabisileyo - hayi umntu oza kuthi uphele uziva ulilolo naye.

USindi Lamothe yintatheli ezizimeleyo eseGuatemala. Ubhala rhoqo malunga nongenelelo phakathi kwempilo, impilo, kunye nesayensi yokuziphatha komntu. Ubhalelwe iAtlantic, iNew York Magazine, iTeen Vogue, iQuartz, iWashington Post, nezinye ezininzi. Mfumene kwi-cindylamothe.com.