Uxhasa njani ngokweemvakalelo

Umxholo

• Yintoni
• Buza…
• … Kwaye umamele
• Qinisekisa
• Wuphephe umgwebo
• Tsiba ingcebiso
• Ukunyaniseka ngaphezulu kokugqibelela
• Yakha
• Xhasa izisombululo zabo
• Nika uthando lomzimba
• Kuphephe ukunciphisa
• Yenza isenzo esihle
• Cwangcisa umsebenzi ophazamisayo
• Jonga kwakhona kwi
• Umgca wezantsi

Inkxaso iza ngeendlela ezininzi.

Unokubonelela ngenkxaso yomzimba kumntu onengxaki yokuma okanye ukuhamba, okanye inkxaso yemali kumntu omthandayo kwindawo eqinileyo.

Ezinye iintlobo zenkxaso zibalulekile, nazo. Abantu kubomi bakho njengamalungu osapho, izihlobo, kunye nabo basebenza nabo ngokusondeleyo, banokukunceda ukuphakamisa ngokweemvakalelo ngokunikezela ngenkxaso yezentlalo kunye neemvakalelo.

Yintoni

Abantu babonisa inkxaso ngokwasemphefumlweni kwabanye ngokunika inkuthazo yokwenyani, isiqinisekiso kunye nemfesane. Oku kunokubandakanya izinto ezinje ngomlomo uvelwano okanye izijekulo zomzimba zothando.

Inkxaso yeemvakalelo inokuvela kweminye imithombo, nayo-inkolo okanye imithombo yokomoya, imisebenzi yoluntu, okanye izilwanyana zasekhaya. Naluphi na uhlobo oluthathayo, le nkxaso inokuphucula umbono wakhe nabani na kunye nokuba sempilweni ngokubanzi.

Abanye abantu banesiphiwo sokuxhasa ngokwasemphefumlweni, kodwa obu buchule abuzi ngokwemvelo kuye wonke umntu.

Ungaziphuhlisa ezi zakhono, nangona kunjalo, ngokwenza okuncinci. Qhubeka ufunda iingcebiso ezili-13 zokubonelela ngenkxaso esemgangathweni yeemvakalelo kuye nakubani na ebomini bakho.

Buza…

Xa ufuna ukubonelela ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo kumntu omkhathaleleyo, ukubuza imibuzo embalwa yindawo elungileyo ukuqala.

“Ndingakuxhasa njani?” maxa wambi inokusebenza, kodwa ayisoloko iyindlela elungileyo.

Ngelixa iinjongo ezilungileyo zilele emva kwemibuzo enje, ngamanye amaxesha ziyasilela ukuba nefuthe onqwenela lona.

Abantu abasoloko bezazi ukuba bafuna ntoni okanye bafuna ntoni, ngakumbi phakathi kwimeko enzima. Ke, lo mbuzo ungabanzi kakhulu ushiya umntu engaqinisekanga ukuba angaphendula athini.

Endaweni yoko, zama ukubuza imibuzo eyenzelwe imeko okanye imeko yomntu, enje:

• “Ubonakala ukhathazekile kancinci namhlanje. Ngaba ungathanda ukuthetha ngayo? ”
• “Ndiyazi ukuba umphathi wakho ebekunika ixesha elinzima. Uqhube njani? ”

Ukuba uyazi ukuba umntu othile ujongene nemingeni ethile kwaye akaqinisekanga ukuba uyivula njani incoko, zama ukuqala ngemibuzo ngokubanzi, enje ngala, "Bekusenzeka ntoni ebomini bakho mva nje?"

Zama ukugcina imibuzo yakho ivulekile endaweni yokubuza imibuzo enokuphendulwa ngo "ewe" okanye "hayi". Oku kumema inkcazo kwaye kunceda ukugcina ingxoxo iqhubeka.

… Kwaye umamele

Akwanelanga ukubuza nje imibuzo. Ukuphulaphula ngenkuthalo, okanye ngovelwano, yenye yecandelo elibalulekileyo lokubonelela ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo.

Xa u ngokwenene mamela umntu, umnike ingqalelo yakho epheleleyo. Bonisa umdla kumagama abo ngoku:

• ukubonisa ulwimi lomzimba oluvulekileyo, njengokujika umzimba wakho ubabuyise kubo, ukuthambisa ubuso bakho, okanye ukugcina iingalo nemilenze yakho inganqatyelwanga
• ukunqanda iziphazamiso, njengokudlala nefowuni okanye ukucinga ngezinye izinto ekufuneka uzenzile
• ukunqwala kunye namagama abo okanye ukwenza ingxolo yesivumelwano endaweni yokuphazamisa
• ukucela ukucaciselwa xa ungayiqondi into
• Ukushwankathela oko bakuthethileyo ukubonisa ukuba uyiqonde kakuhle le meko

Sebenzisa izakhono zokumamela kakuhle kubonisa abanye ukuba uyakhathala malunga nezinto abajamelana nazo. Kumntu osokolayo, ukwazi ukuba omnye umntu uyivile intlungu yabo kungenza umahluko omkhulu.

Qinisekisa

Cinga ngexesha lokugqibela oye wadlula kwinto enzima. Mhlawumbi ufuna ukuthetha nomntu malunga nengxaki, kodwa ngekhe ufune ukuba bakulungiselele yona okanye bayenze ihambe.

Mhlawumbi ufuna nje ukukhupha uxinzelelo okanye ukuphoxeka kwaye ufumane ukwamkelwa okuthobekileyo.

Inkxaso ayifuni ukuba uyiqonde ngokupheleleyo ingxaki okanye unike isisombululo. Rhoqo, ayibandakanyi into ngaphandle kokuqinisekiswa.

Xa uqinisekisa umntu, uyamazisa ukuba uyabona kwaye uyayiqonda imbono yakhe.

Inkxaso abantu abahlala beyifuna kakhulu kukuqaphela ubunzima babo. Ke, xa umntu omthandayo ekuxelela ngemiceli mngeni abadlula kuyo, basenokungafuneki ukuba uziphose ngaphakathi kwaye uncede. Unokunika eyona nkxaso ibalaseleyo ngokubonisa inkxalabo kunye nokunikezela ngobukho obukhathalayo.

Amanye amabinzana aqinisekisayo onokuwasebenzisa ngala:

• “Ndicela uxolo ngokujongana nale meko. Kuvakala ukuba kubuhlungu. ”
• “Ingathi iyacaphukisa loo nto. Ndiyasiqonda isizathu sokuba uzive uxinezeleke ngoku. ”

Wuphephe umgwebo

Akukho mntu uthanda ukuziva ugwetyelwe. Umntu ojamelene nemeko enzima ngenxa yezenzo zabo unokuba sele ezenzile izigqibo.

Nokuba yeyiphi na, xa befuna inkxaso, abantu ngokubanzi abafuni ukuva ukugxekwa-nokuba uthe wanika ukugxeka okwakhayo ngeyona njongo iphambili.

Xa unika inkxaso, zama ukugcina izimvo zakho malunga noko bekufanele ukuba bakwenzile okanye apho baphazame khona kuwe.

Kuphephe ukubuza imibuzo abanokuyitolika njengokugxeka okanye ukugweba, njengokuthi, "Ke yintoni ebenze babanomsindo ngawe?"

Nokuba awunikeli nasiphi na isigwebo ngokuthe ngqo okanye ukugxeka, ithoni inokudlulisa iimvakalelo ezininzi, ke ilizwi lakho linokwabelana ngeemvakalelo obungazimiselanga ukuzithetha ngokuthe ngqo.

Qaphela ukugcina amanqaku okuchasana nelizwi lakho ngokujolisa kwiimvakalelo ezinje ngovelwano nemfesane xa uthetha.

Tsiba ingcebiso

Unokucinga ukuba uyamnceda umntu ngokumxelela indlela yokulungisa ingxaki. Kodwa, ngokubanzi, abantu abafuni ngcebiso ngaphandle kokuba bayayicela.

Naxa wena yazi Unesisombululo esifanelekileyo, musa ukusinikela ngaphandle kokuba babuze ngokuthe ngqo into enje, "Ucinga ukuba ndenze ntoni?" okanye "Ngaba ikhona into oyaziyo enokukunceda?"

Ukuba baye bashiya "ukuphuma" ukuya "ukuthetha ngengxaki," indlela engcono ihlala ibandakanya ukusebenzisa imibuzo ebonisa ukubanceda ukuba bafumane izisombululo ngokwabo.

Unokwenza, umzekelo, into enje:

• “Ngaba wakha wakwimeko enje ngaphambili? Uncedwe yintoni ke? ”
• “Ngaba ungalucinga naluphi na utshintsho olunokukunceda uzive ungcono?”

Ukunyaniseka ngaphezulu kokugqibelela

Xa ufuna ukuxhasa umntu, ungakhathazeki kakhulu malunga nokuba unika "ilungelo" uhlobo lwenkxaso.

Abantu ababini abohlukeneyo ngokwesiqhelo abanakho ukubonelela ngenkxaso ngendlela efanayo. Kulungile, nangona kunjalo, kuba zininzi iindlela zokuxhasa umntu.

Indlela yakho ingahluka ngokuxhomekeke kumntu ofuna ukuxhasa.

Endaweni yokukhangela eyona nto ifanelekileyo ukuyithetha, yiya kwinto evakalelwa ngokwendalo kwaye iyinyani. Ukubonakaliswa okuqinisekileyo kokukhathazeka kuya kuthetha lukhulu kulowo umthandayo kunempendulo enkonkxiweyo okanye umntu ongenalo uvakalelo lokwenyani.

Yakha

Amaxesha obunzima bomntu, ngakumbi lawo abandakanya ukwaliwa, anokuhlisa abantu kwaye abenze bazithandabuze kunye namandla abo.

Ukuba uqaphela ukuba umntu omkhathaleleyo ubonakala ngathi uphantsi kancinci, kunzima kuye kunesiqhelo, okanye unokuziva ungazithembi, ukuncoma ngokunyanisekileyo okanye ezimbini zinokuhamba indlela ende ekuphuculeni umbono wazo.

Xa unika ukuncoma, uya kufuna ukugcina izinto ezimbalwa engqondweni:

• Zigcine zinxulumene nemeko yangoku. Umzekelo, unokukhumbuza umhlobo okhathazekile ngempazamo emsebenzini malunga nendlela yabo yesiqhelo yokuphumelela.
• Khetha izincomo eziqaqambisa amandla athile ngaphezulu kokuncoma okungenanto okunokusebenza kuye nabani na. Endaweni yokuthi "ucinga kakhulu," khomba into ebenza bacinge kwaye wabelane ngoxabiso lwakho kobo buchule.
• Musa ukukhawuleza. Ukunconywa okubekwe kakuhle kunokwenza umntu azive kamnandi. Ukuyigqithisa kunokubenza abantu bangazithembi izincomo, okanye nokuba bangonwabi (nokuba ubathetha ngokwenene).

Xhasa izisombululo zabo

Xa umhlobo osenyongweni okanye iqabane elithandanayo likholelwa ukuba lifumene impendulo kwingxaki yabo, unokuba namathandabuzo malunga nokusebenza kwesisombululo.

Ngaphandle kokuba indlela yabo ibandakanya umngcipheko okanye ingozi, kulunge ngakumbi ukubonelela ngenkxaso endaweni yokubonisa iziphene kwisicwangciso sabo.

Basenokungakhethi indlela oza kwenza ngayo, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba baphosakele. Nokuba awusiboni isisombululo sabo sisebenza, ngekhe wazi ukuba izinto ziya kuphuma njani ngokuqinisekileyo.

Kuphephe ukubaxelela into ocinga ukuba bayayenza, kuba oku ngamanye amaxesha kunokulungisa naziphi na iimvakalelo ezintle kwinkxaso osele ubanikile.

Ukuba bayabuza ukuba ucinga ntoni, ungabakhokela ngobumnene obunokunceda isicwangciso sabo siphumelele. Nokuba bacela uluvo lwakho olunyanisekileyo, kuphephe ukuphendula ngokugxeka okungqwabalala okanye okungalunganga okanye ulichithe isicwangciso sabo ngaphandle.

Nika uthando lomzimba

Uthando lomzimba alufanelanga kuzo zonke iimeko, ewe.

Kuxhomekeke kubudlelwane bakho nomntu ofuna ukumxhasa, ukwangana, ukwanga, kunye nokunye ukuchukumisa okusondeleyo kunye ne-caresses kunokuba nefuthe elinamandla.

• Emva kwencoko enzima, ukwanga umntu kunokubonelela ngenkxaso yomzimba eyomeleza inkxaso yeemvakalelo osandula ukuyinika.
• Ukubamba isandla sothandekayo ngelixa behamba nenkqubo ebuhlungu, ukufumana iindaba ezingathandekiyo, okanye ukujongana nomnxeba ophazamisayo kunokubanceda bazive bomelele.
• Ukujija neqabane lakho emva kokuba benosuku olubi kunokuthetha ngaphandle kwamagama kugxininisa iimvakalelo zakho kubo kwaye kunike ukuphilisa intuthuzelo.

Kuphephe ukunciphisa

Abantu bajamelana nazo zonke iintlobo zeemeko ezingathandekiyo ebomini. Eminye yale mingeni ineempembelelo ezibanzi okanye ezifikelela kude kuneminye.

Ayisiyomnye umntu ukuba angathini umntu ukuba acaphuke (okanye akufuneki) azive ngalo naluphi na uhlobo loxinzelelo.

Ukuthelekisa ubunzima bomntu esimthandayo neengxaki abajamelana nazo abanye abantu kuhlala kwenzeka ngokungacacanga, njengelinge lokuthuthuzela.

Unokuzimisela ukubonwabisa ngokubathetha ngezinto ezinje, "Inokuba mbi kakhulu," okanye "Ubuncinci usenomsebenzi." Oku kuyawaphika amava abo kwaye kuhlala kuthetha ukuba akufuneki bazive bebi kwasekuqaleni.

Nokuba ucinga ukuba yinto engenamsebenzi kangakanani ucinga ukuba inkxalabo yomnye umntu, kuphephe ukuyixukuxa.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, mhlawumbi intetho umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ayifumene kumphathi wakhe ngekhe ikhathaze wena. Kodwa awunakuwaqonda ngokupheleleyo amava akhe okanye impendulo yeemvakalelo, ngenxa yoko akulunganga ukunciphisa iimvakalelo zakhe.

Yenza isenzo esihle

Umntu omthandayo ozama ukulawula ukudideka ngokweemvakalelo usenokuba namandla angaphantsi okujongana noxanduva lwabo njengesiqhelo.

Emva kokuba umamele kwaye uqinisekise iimvakalelo zabo, unokubonisa uvelwano ngokunceda ukunciphisa umthwalo wabo, ukuba kunokwenzeka.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba wenze nantoni na enkulu okanye etshayelayo. Ngapha koko, izinto ezincinci zihlala zinefuthe ngakumbi, ngakumbi xa izenzo zakho zibonisa ukuba uvile kwaye wawaqonda amazwi abo.

Zama obunye bobubele obuncinci:

• Yenza omnye wemisebenzi yasekhaya yeqabane lakho, njengezitya okanye ukucoca.
• Thatha isidlo sasemini okanye isidlo sangokuhlwa somhlobo onosuku olubi.
• Yizisa iintyatyambo okanye isiselo esithandayo okanye i-snack kumntakwenu ohamba nokwahlukana okubi.
• Nikeza ukuqhuba umyalezo kumhlobo oxinzelelweyo okanye umzali.

Cwangcisa umsebenzi ophazamisayo

Ezinye iimeko ezinzima azinasisombululo. Ungayimamela intlungu yomntu omthandayo kwaye unikezele igxalaba lakho (ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo) ngenkxaso.

Kodwa xa ixesha ikukuphela kwendlela yokulungisa ingxaki yabo, ninokuba nobabini niziva ningento yanto.

Usenokunika inkxaso, nangona kunjalo. Umntu ojamelene nemeko enzima usenokuba nzima ukugxila kwezinye izinto.

Banokufuna ukuziphazamisa kuxinzelelo kunye nexhala kodwa bangazi ukuba baqale phi.

Kwelinye icala, wena unokuba nomgama owaneleyo kwingxaki onokuthi uze nezimvo ezimbalwa zokubasusa engqondweni.

Cebela ukonwaba, umsebenzi ophantsi onezitshixo onokuwucwangcisa kwakhona ukuba abaziva. Ngokwesiqhelo awunakuhamba gwenxa ngento oyaziyo ukuba bayayonwabela, njengokuhamba ecaleni kwendalo oyithandayo okanye uhambo oluya epakini yenja.

Ukuba awukwazi ukuphuma, zama ubugcisa, iprojekthi yasekhaya, okanye umdlalo endaweni yoko.

Jonga kwakhona kwi

Nje ukuba uncede umntu omthandayo ukuphonononga imeko enzima, sukuvele uwushiye ngokupheleleyo umcimbi.

Ukuphinda uthethe ngesihloko kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ubazise ukuba iingxaki zabo zibalulekile kuwe nangona ungenakho ukubandakanyeka okusebenzayo.

Elula, “Hee, bendifuna ukubona ukuba uqhuba njani emva kolunye usuku. Ndiyazi ukuba kungathatha ixesha ukuphola ekwahlukaneni, ngoko ndifuna wazi ukuba ndilapha ukuba ungathanda ukuthetha kwakhona. ”

Basenokungafuni ukuthetha ngoxinzelelo lwabo ngalo lonke ixesha- yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Awudingi ukuyizisa yonke imihla, kodwa kulungile ukuba ubuze ukuba zihamba njani izinto kwaye ubazise ukuba uyakhathala.

Ukuba bacele ingcebiso kwaye unesisombululo esinokubakho, ungabazisa ngokuthi, "Uyazi, bendicinga ngemeko yakho, kwaye bendize nento enokukunceda. Ngaba unomdla wokuva ngalo? ”

Umgca wezantsi

Inkxaso yeemvakalelo ayibonakali. Awunakuyibona okanye uyibambe ezandleni zakho kwaye ngekhe uqaphele impembelelo yayo kwangoko, ngakumbi ukuba uyasokola.

Kodwa inokukukhumbuza ukuba abanye bayakuthanda, bakuxabisile, kwaye banomqolo wakho.

Xa unika inkxaso yemvakalelo kwabanye, uyabaxelela ukuba ababodwa. Ixesha elingaphezulu, lo myalezo unokuba nefuthe elihle kwimpilo yeemvakalelo kunakwimeko yokonyusa imeko okwexeshana okanye iindlela zenkxaso.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.