Yiba ngumphulaphuli we-Empathic kwiiNqanaba ezili-10

Umxholo

• 1. Lungisa ulwimi lomzimba wakho
• 2. Susa izinto eziphazamisayo
• 3. Mamela ngaphandle kokugweba
• 4. Musa ukuyenza ngawe
• 5. Yiba khona
• 6. Nika ingqalelo kwizinto ezingabonakaliyo
• 7. Kuphephe ukunika izisombululo
• 8. Musa ukuzijongela phantsi iinkxalabo zabo
• 9. Cinga iimvakalelo zabo
• 10. Ungakhathazeki malunga nokufumana okungalunganga

Ukumamela okungathandabuzekiyo, ngamanye amaxesha okubizwa ngokuba kukuphulaphula ngokunyanisekileyo okanye ukumamela okucingayo, kudlulela ngaphaya kokunikela ingqalelo. Imalunga nokwenza umntu azive eqinisekisiwe kwaye ebonwa.

Xa kwenziwe ngokuchanekileyo, ukumamela ngovelwano kunokonyusa unxibelelwano lwakho kwaye kunike abanye umbono wokuba ngabakho xa bethetha nawe. Kanangcono? Yinto elula ukuyifunda nokuyisebenzisa.

1. Lungisa ulwimi lomzimba wakho

Inyathelo lokuqala lokubonisa umntu ukuba ujonge ngokupheleleyo kukujonga kubo kunye nokugcina ujongano lwamehlo ngendlela ekhululekile.

Ngokwesiqhelo, xa umntu ethetha nathi, singazi ngokungazi sishiya kubo kwaye siqhelisele uluhlu lwethu lokutya okanye sicinge ngeendawo esifuna ukuya kuzo isidlo sangokuhlwa. Kodwa ukumamela ngovelwano kubandakanya umzimba uphela.

Khawufane ucinge umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ebonisa umhla wakho wesidlo sasemini elila. Ngaba ubunokumbuza ngokungalunganga ukuba yintoni ingxaki egxalabeni lakho? Amathuba okuba, ubuya ujike ngoko nangoko ujonge kuye. Nenjongo yokwenza okufanayo kuyo nayiphi na incoko.

2. Susa izinto eziphazamisayo

Sivame ukubanjwa kwiifowuni zethu esingaziqondiyo xa umntu ophambi kwethu ezama ukudibanisa ngokufanelekileyo.

Endaweni yokuphendula imiyalezo kunye nokunqwala kunye nayo nantoni na ethethwa liqabane lakho, beka zonke izixhobo kude kwaye ubacele ukuba benze okufanayo. Ngokususa iziphazamiso, ungagxila komnye nomnye kwaye ubekhona ngakumbi.

3. Mamela ngaphandle kokugweba

Kunzima ukuba abantu banxibelelane ngokwenyani xa besiva ukuba bagwetywa. Ukuphepha oku, khumbula xa ubamamele kwaye uphephe ukuphendula ngokungamkeleki okanye ukugxeka nokuba awuvumelani buqu noko bakuthethayo.

Yithi umhlobo wakho uzityand 'igila kuwe ukuba baneengxaki kubudlelwane babo. Endaweni yokutsiba ngoko nangoko ucinga ukuba benza okungalunganga kubudlelwane, yiya into ecaleni kwemigca, "Ndibuhlungu ukuva lonto, kufuneka ube uphantsi koxinzelelo olukhulu ngoku."

Oku akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukunika iingcebiso, ngakumbi ukuba bayazicela. Musa nje ukuyenza xa udlala indima yomphulaphuli.

4. Musa ukuyenza ngawe

Zama ukuxhathisa ukuxelela eyakho imbono xa besabelana ngento ebalulekileyo nawe.

Ukuba umntu usandula ukuphulukana nesihlobo, umzekelo, ungaphenduli ngokukhankanya iilahleko zakho. Endaweni yoko, babonise ukuba ubakhathalele ngokubuza umbuzo olandelayo malunga namava abo okanye ngokubonelela ngenkxaso yakho.

Nazi iimpendulo ezihloniphekileyo onokuzama ngazo:

• Ndiyaxolisa kakhulu ngokulahleka kwakho. Ndiyazi ukuba ubathanda kangakanani. ”
• Ndixelele ngakumbi ngomama wakho. ”
• "Andiqondi ukuba uziva njani, kodwa ndilapha xa undifuna."

5. Yiba khona

Xa omnye umntu ethetha, kuphephe ukucinga malunga nento oza kuyithetha ngokulandelayo okanye ukubaphazamisa. Nciphisa izinto kwaye ulinde ikhefu kwincoko ngaphambi kokuba ungene.

Zama ukugxila kunye nomfanekiso wento abayithethayo ukukunceda uhlale uphaphile kwii-convos ezinde.

6. Nika ingqalelo kwizinto ezingabonakaliyo

Sukumamela nje ngeendlebe zakho.

Uyakwazi ukuxelela ukuba umntu uziva onwabile, ecaphukile, okanye onwabile ngokuthathela ingqalelo ulwimi lomzimba kunye nethoni yelizwi. Qaphela intetho ejikeleze amehlo abo, umlomo kunye nendlela abahleli ngayo.

Ukuba amagxa eqabane lakho athambile ngelixa bekuxelela ngemini yabo, umzekelo, banokufuna inkxaso eyongezelelweyo.

7. Kuphephe ukunika izisombululo

Kungenxa yokuba umntu abelana ngeengxaki zakhe, oko akuthethi ukuba ufuna ingcebiso ngembuyekezo. Khumbula ukuba uninzi lwabantu lufuna ukuqinisekiswa kunye nenkxaso kwaye ngekhe babenomdla wokuva izisombululo onokuthi uzinike (nokuba zineenjongo ezintle kangakanani).

Ukuba umhlobo wakho uphulukene nomsebenzi kwaye ufuna ukuphuma, umzekelo, thintela ngokukhawuleza ukucebisa ngeendawo abanokuthi bathumele kuzo kwakhona (unganika olu lwazi kamva ukuba babonisa umdla). Endaweni yoko, mabayiphathe incoko kwaye banike igalelo lakho xa bebuziwe.

8. Musa ukuzijongela phantsi iinkxalabo zabo

Ukumamela okungathandabuzekiyo kuthetha ukuba nolwazi ngexesha leencoko ezingathandekiyo kwaye ungaphiki inkxalabo yomnye umntu okanye iingxaki zakhe.

Nokuba imicimbi yabo ibonakala incinci kuwe, ukuvuma nje iimvakalelo zabo kunokubenza bazive ukuba baviwe kwaye baqinisekisiwe.

9. Cinga iimvakalelo zabo

Xa umamele, kubalulekile ukubonisa ukuba uyayiqonda le nto omnye umntu azama ukukuxelela yona. Oku kuthetha ukunqwala kunye nokunikezela ingxelo ngokukhumbula iinkcukacha kunye nokuphinda amanqaku aphambili abuyele kubo.

Ukubonisa ubungqina bokuba umamele, zama la mabinzana alandelayo:

• “Uchulumancile!”
• “Kubonakala ngathi inzima le meko.”
• Ndiyayiqonda into yokuba ukhathazekile. ”

10. Ungakhathazeki malunga nokufumana okungalunganga

Akukho ogqibelele. Unokuba namaxesha kwincoko apho ungaqinisekanga ngento omawuyenze okanye uyithethe. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, usenokuthetha into engeyiyo. Wonke umntu wenza ngaxa lithile.

Endaweni yokuzixakekisa malunga nokuba umamele kakuhle okanye awuphenduli ngokufanelekileyo, gxila ekuzigcineni ukhona. Rhoqo, abantu bafuna ukuviwa nokuqondwa.

USindi Lamothe yintatheli ezizimeleyo eseGuatemala. Ubhala rhoqo malunga nongenelelo phakathi kwempilo, impilo, kunye nesayensi yokuziphatha komntu. Ubhalelwe iAtlantic, iNew York Magazine, iTeen Vogue, iQuartz, iWashington Post, nezinye ezininzi. Mfumene kwi-cindylamothe.com.