Umzimba wam unokuhlala utyebile, kodwa awuyi kuhlala uhleli

Ayisiyiyo yonke into eyenziwa ngumzimba onamafutha ukunciphisa umzimba.

Sibona njani iimilo zehlabathi esikhetha ukuba zizo - {textend} kunye nokwabelana ngamava anyanzelisayo anokuyila indlela esiphathana ngayo, ukuba ngcono. Lo ngumbono onamandla.

Ndandineminyaka emi-3 ubudala ukuqala kwam ukudada. Ndandineminyaka eli-14 ubudala ukuyeka kwam.

Andikhumbuli okokuqala ndingena echibini, kodwa ndiyayikhumbula imvakalelo yokutyibilika ngaphantsi komhlaba okokuqala, iingalo zisika emanzini, imilenze eyomeleleyo nethe nkqo indiqhubela phambili.

Ndaziva ndinamandla, ndinyanzelekile, ndizolile kwaye ndicamngca, zonke ngaxeshanye. Nawuphi na amaxhala endinawo yayingumbono womoya nomhlaba - {textend} abakwazanga ukufikelela kum phantsi kwamanzi.

Nje ukuba ndiqale ukudada, andizange ndiyeke. Ndijoyine iqela lokuqubha lolutsha kwindawo yam yokuhlala, ekugqibeleni ndaba ngumqeqeshi. Ndadada ndabuya ndadibana, ndomelela iqela ngebhabhathane elinamandla. Andizange ndizive ndinamandla okanye ndomelele ngakumbi kunangexesha lokuqubha kwam. Ndandiqubha lonke ithuba endilifumanayo.

Kwakukho ingxaki enye kuphela. Ndatyeba.

Khange ndijongane nemeko ethile yokuxhaphaza, abo ndifunda nabo bevuma amagama eengoma okanye behlekisa esidlangalaleni ngomzimba wam. Akukho mntu waphawulayo ngobungakanani bam echibini.

Kodwa xa ndandinganqumli emanzini abukhali, ndisemanzi, ndandisondela kulwandle lokuthetha ngokutya, ukulungiswa kokunciphisa umzimba, kunye noontanga ababekhe bazibuze ukuba batyebe kakhulu ukuba bangakhupha loo lokhwe okanye amathanga abo ngonaphakade ncipha.

Nditsho nezinto zokudada zindikhumbuza ukuba umzimba wam awunakubonwa.

Ndiyintombazana ekwishumi elivisayo, kwaye intetho yokutya ibikho kuyo yonke indawo. Ukuba andiphulukani nale 5 yeepawundi zilandelayo, andisoze ndishiye indlu. Akasoze andibuze ndigoduka - {textend} Ndityebe kakhulu. Andikwazi ukunxiba loo swimsuit. Akukho mntu ufuna ukubona la mathanga.

Ndimamele ngoku bathethayo, ubuso bam bubomvu krwe. Wonke umntu, kubonakala ngathi, ufumene eyakhe imizimba ukuba ityebile. Kwaye ndandityebile kunabo bonke.

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Ngokuhamba kwexesha, xa ndandingena kwisikolo samabanga aphakathi naphakathi, ndaye ndazi kakuhle ukuba ukubonwa komzimba wam kwakungamkelekanga kwabo bandingqongileyo - {textend} ngakumbi kwisuti yokuqubha. Kwaye ukuba umzimba wam awubonakali, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo awunakushukunyiswa.

Ndiyekile ke ukuqubha rhoqo.

Khange ndiqaphele ilahleko kwangoko. Izihlunu zam ziye zacotha, zatyibilika kulungelelwaniso lwazo lwangaphambili. Ukuphefumla kwam kupholile kwaye kuyakhawuleza. Imvakalelo yangaphambili yoxolo yathathelwa indawo yintliziyo ebalekayo rhoqo kunye nokukrwitsha kancinci koxinzelelo oluqhubekayo.

Nasebudaleni, ndachitha iminyaka ndihlala kude namachibi kunye neelwandle, ndiphanda ngocoselelo ngamanzi ngaphambi kokuba ndiwanike umzimba wam onyanyekayo. Njengokuba kukho umntu, ndawo ndawo, onokuqinisekisa ukuba uhambo lwam alunakuba simahla kukugculelwa okanye ukujongwa. Njengokungathi ingelosi etyebileyo ibone kwangaphambili ukuphelelwa kwam kukuqiniseka. Abayi kuhleka, ndiyathembisa. Ndandilulangazelela ukhuseleko umhlaba owalayo ukubonelela.

Ndijonge ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuphela kweempahla zokuqubha kubungakanani bam: iilokhwe zokuqubha matron kunye ne-baggy "shortinis," uyilo oluvuza ludanile, luyehliselwa kubukhulu obukhulu. Nditsho nezinto zokudada zindikhumbuza ukuba umzimba wam awunakubonwa.

Umzimba wam uya kuhlala utyebile, njengoko wenzayo xa bendidada iiyure yonke imihla. Umzimba wam uya kuhlala utyebile, njengoko bekusoloko kunjalo. Umzimba wam uya kuhlala utyebile, kodwa awuyi kuhlala uzolile.

Xa ndenza iilwandle ezinesibindi kunye namachibi, ndandihlangatyezwa ngokuthembekileyo ngokujongwa, ngamanye amaxesha sikhatshwa kukusebeza, ukugigitheka, okanye ukukhomba evulekileyo. Ngokungafaniyo nabo ndandifunda nabo esikolweni, abantu abadala babonisa ukuzibamba. Ingqondo encinci yokhuseleko bendiyishiye kunye nokuzonwabisa kwabo, ukujonga ngokuthe ngqo.

Ndiyekile ke ukuqubha kwaphela.

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Kwiminyaka emibini edlulileyo, emva kweminyaka kude namachibi kunye neelwandle, i-fatkini yenze idolo.

Ngesiquphe, abathengisi bobukhulu obudibeneyo baqala ukwenza iimpahla zokudada ezihamba phambili zefashoni: iibhikini kunye neziqwenga, ukubhukuda kweziketi kunye noonogada abangxamile. Imakethi yakhawuleza yanxiba iimpahla zokuqubha ezintsha.

I-Instagram noFacebook bezizele yimifanekiso yabanye abantu ababhinqileyo abalingana nam benxibe iisuti zeeracerback kunye neziqwenga ezibini, ezibizwa ngegama lothando elithi “fatkinis.” Banxiba nantoni na esihogo baziva ngathi banxibe.

Ndithenge i-fatkini yam yokuqala ngovalo. Ndiyithumele kwi-intanethi, ngokuzithandela, ndisazi kakuhle ukuba ukuhleba okugwebayo kunye nokujonga okuvulekileyo kuya kundilandela ukusuka echibini ukuya emall. Ukufika kwesuti yam, ndalinda iintsuku ngaphambi kokuba ndiyizame. Ekugqibeleni ndayibeka ebusuku, ndedwa ekhayeni lam, kude neefestile, ngokungathi amehlo anqabileyo angandilandela nakwisitrato sam esihlala ubuthongo.

Ngokukhawuleza xa ndibeka, ndaziva ukuba utshintsho lwam luhlala, amathambo aqina ngakumbi kwaye izihlunu zomelele. Ndabuva ubomi bubuyela kwimithambo yam kunye nemithambo, ndikhumbula injongo yabo.

Uvakalelo lwalugwenxa kwaye lwalugqithile. Ngokukhawuleza, ngokungaqondakaliyo, ndaphinda ndanamandla.

Andizange ndifune ukukhulula isuti yam yokuhlamba. Ndalala ebhedini kwi fatkini yam. Ndicoce indlu e fatkini yam. Andizange ndizive ndinamandla kangako. Andikwazi ukuyikhupha, kwaye andizange ndifune.

Ehlotyeni, ndiza kuqubha kwakhona.

Kungekudala emva koko, ndaqala kwakhona ukuqubha. Ndandiqubha kuhambo lomsebenzi, ndikhetha ukuqubha ezinzulwini zobusuku evekini, xa iphuli yehotele kungenzeka ukuba ayinanto. Ukuphefumla kwam kwakukhawuleza kwaye kufutshane xa ndiphumayo kwikhonkrithi, ndicotha kancinci xa ndiqonda ukuba ipuli ayinanto.

Ukuntywila echibini kwakufana nokuntywila ndibuyele esikhumbeni sam. Ndive ulwandle lwempompoza entliziyweni yam, ubomi bujikeleza kuyo yonke intshi yomzimba wam. Ndandiqubha emathangeni, ndikhumbuza umzimba wam ngesingqi seflip esitshintshileyo besisoloko sisazi kakuhle.

Ndandiqubha ibhabhathane kunye nefreestyle kunye nesifuba. Ndandiqubha okwethutyana, emva koko ndenza nje qubha, ukuvumela umzimba wam ukuba utyhale ngokuchasene nokuthantamisa kwamanzi. Ndivumela umzimba wam ukuba undikhumbuze ngovuyo lokuhamba kwawo. Ndizivumela ukuba ndikhumbule amandla omzimba endiwufihle ixesha elide.

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Ehlotyeni, ndiza kuqubha kwakhona. Kwakhona, ndiza kuzenza intsimbi ngokweemvakalelo ngokusika iimpendulo kubume bolusu lwam. Ndiza kuziqhelisa ukubuyela ngokukhawuleza ukukhusela ilungelo lam lokuhlala kule ndawo bendihlala ndiziva ndisekhaya kuyo.

Umzimba wam uya kuhlala utyebile, njengoko wenzayo xa bendidada iiyure yonke imihla. Umzimba wam uya kuhlala utyebile, njengoko bekusoloko kunjalo. Umzimba wam uya kuhlala utyebile, kodwa awuyi kuhlala uzolile.

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