Yintoni i-Ghosting, Kutheni le nto isenzeka, kwaye unokwenza ntoni ukuyiGqitha?

Umxholo

• Kutheni abantu bephefumula?
• Ukuthandana ngokungaqhelekanga
• Umhlobo
• Umntu osebenza naye
• Wazi njani ukuba uyiporho
• Ngaba le yindlela yokuziphatha eqhelekileyo kubo?
• Ngaba ikhona into etshintshileyo kulwalamano?
• Ngaba omnye wenu uye wadlula kuyo nayiphi na iminyhadala yobomi?
• Ndingenza ntoni xa ndinomoya?
• Ndiqhubeka njani?
• Yise kude

Ghosting, okanye ngesiquphe shwaka ebomini bomntu ngaphandle kangako umnxeba, i-imeyile, okanye isicatshulwa, kuye kwaba yinto eqhelekileyo kwihlabathi langoku lokuthandana, kwaye nakwezinye izicwangciso zentlalo kunye nezobugcisa.

Ngokweziphumo ezivela kwizifundo ezibini zango-2018, malunga neepesenti ezingama-25 zabantu baye banomoya ngexesha elithile.

Ukunyuka konxibelelwano lwe-elektroniki kunye nee -apps ezithandwayo zokuthandana njengeGrindr, iTinder, kunye neBumble kubonakala ngathi kuye kwenza ukuba kube lula ukwenza kunye nokophula unxibelelwano olukhawulezileyo nomntu odibene naye ngokuswayipha.

Kodwa ukuphefumla kuyinkimbinkimbi ngakumbi kunokuba ungacinga. Funda ukuze ufunde ukuba kutheni abantu benesiporho, wazi njani xa unomoya, kwaye kufuneka wenze ntoni wakube ufumene ukuba ukhe wanomoya.

Kutheni abantu bephefumula?

Abantu bayiziporho ngazo zonke iintlobo zezizathu ezinokwahluka kubunzima. Nazi ezinye zezizathu zokuba abantu babe nesiporho:

• Uloyiko. Ukoyika into engaziwayo kulukhuni ebantwini. Unokuthatha isigqibo sokuyiphelisa kuba usoyika ukwazi umntu omtsha okanye woyike indlela abasabela ngayo ekwahlukaneni.
• Ukuphepha ungquzulwano. Abantu bahlala ngokwentlalo, kwaye bephazamisa ubudlelwane boluntu lwalo naluphi na uhlobo, nokuba lulungile okanye lubi, lunokuba nefuthe lakho. Ngenxa yoko, unokuziva ukhululeke ngakumbi ukuba ungaze uphinde umbone omnye umntu endaweni yokujongana nembambano okanye ukuxhathisa okunokwenzeka ngexesha lokwahlukana.
• Ukungabikho kweziphumo. Ukuba awudibananga nomntu, ungaziva ngathi akukho nto isemngciphekweni kuba mhlawumbi ungabelani nabanye ngabahlobo okanye enye into efana nayo. Isenokungabonakali iyinto enkulu ukuba uhamba nje ebomini babo.
• Ukuzikhathalela. Ukuba ubudlelwane bunefuthe elibi kumgangatho wobomi bakho, ukunqumama ekunxibelelaneni ngamanye amaxesha kungabonakala njengeyona ndlela yokufumana impilo-ntle yakho ngaphandle kokuwa okanye ukwahlukana kwendlela.

Nazi iimeko ezimbalwa apho unokufumana umoya kunye neengcinga ezithile zokuba kutheni:

Ukuthandana ngokungaqhelekanga

Ukuba ubukhe kwimihla embalwa kwaye umhla wakho wanyamalala ngequbuliso, kusenokwenzeka ukuba khange bazive ngathi yintlantsi yothando, baxakeke kakhulu ukuba bangazibopheleli ekunxibelelaneni, okanye bebengakulungelanga ukunyathela okulandelayo.

Umhlobo

Ukuba umhlobo wakho uhlala ujongile okanye uncokola naye ngesiquphe eyeka ukuphendula iitekisi zakho okanye iifowuni, banokuba bakuphefumlela, okanye banokuthile ebomini babo okubagcina bexakekile.

Ukuba kuyacaca ukuba bakwenze isiporho, kunokuba kugqityiwe ukuba kuya kuba nzima kakhulu okanye kubuhlungu ukuchaza ukuba abasafuni ukuba ngabahlobo kwakhona.

Umntu osebenza naye

Ghosting inokwenzeka naseofisini, nayo. Oku kubonakala kakhulu xa umntu eshiya inkampani. Ngelixa uhlala uncokola rhoqo eofisini, kwaye mhlawumbi ujinga abanye emva komsebenzi, kwabanye abantu, kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukugcina ubuhlobo kunye nabo wayesebenza nabo ngelixa uzama ukwamkeleka nakwabanye abatsha.

Oku kunokwenzeka xa umntu osebenza naye etshintsha isikhundla okanye efumana unyuselo.

Wazi njani ukuba uyiporho

Ngaba unesiporho? Okanye umntu okwelinye icala uxakeke kakhulu okwexeshana okanye uphazamisekile ukuba angabuyela kuwe?

Nazi ezinye zeempawu ezinokukucebisa xa usiporho:

Ngaba le yindlela yokuziphatha eqhelekileyo kubo?

Abanye abantu babonakala bephuma kwigridi ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba babuyele kuwe, ngoko kusenokungabi yinto enkulu ukuba abaphenduli ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ukuba bahlala bephendula kwaye ngequbuliso bayeke ukukufowunela okanye bakuthumele imiyalezo ebuyela ixesha elingaqhelekanga ngokungaqhelekanga, unokuba ukhe wakhutshwa.

Ngaba ikhona into etshintshileyo kulwalamano?

Ngaba ikhona into oyithethileyo abayiphendulileyo okanye uthumele isicatshulwa esingaqondwa kakuhle? Umzekelo, ukuba uthe "Ndiyakuthanda" kwaye abayiphindanga bathi, kwaye ngequbuliso yi-MIA, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukhe wanesiporho.

Ngaba omnye wenu uye wadlula kuyo nayiphi na iminyhadala yobomi?

Ngaba bafudukela kwindawo entsha? Qala umsebenzi omtsha? Yiya kwisiganeko esibuhlungu esibashiye belusizi?

Ukugcina phezulu kunokubonakala kungenakwenzeka xa umgama ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokweemvakalelo ukhula, kwaye ukuphefumla kunokubonakala ngathi yeyona ndlela ilula, inzima kwaye kunzima. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuthula kunokuba yinto yexeshana, ngokungathi kutshanje bathathe iprojekthi enkulu okanye basebenze okanye banesiganeko sobomi esibuhlungu. Kodwa kwezinye iimeko, inokuba sisigxina.

Ndingenza ntoni xa ndinomoya?

Ukujamelana nalo naluphi na uhlobo lwelahleko kunokuba nzima, nokuba awumazi umntu lowo kakuhle. Ukuba ubusondele kubo, kunokubangela nangakumbi okanye ukuphendula ngokweemvakalelo.

Uphando lutyhila ukungafani ngakumbi kwiimvakalelo ezintsonkothileyo emva kokuba kukho isiporho. Izifundo ezibini ezivela kunye no-2011 zibonisa ukuba ukwahlukana ngolu hlobo kunokubangela iintlungu zomzimba, njengokuphefumla, kunye nokwaliwa ngokubanzi, kukhokelela kwimisebenzi efanayo yobuchopho enxulumene nentlungu yomzimba.

I-Ghosting inokuchaphazela nefuthe lakho elibi kunye nolwalamano lwakho lwangoku nolwangomso, zombini ezothando kunye nokunye.

Kwaye kubudala apho ubudlelwane obuqala kwi-Intanethi buye buqheleke ngakumbi, ukwenziwa ngumoya ngumntu ogcine naye ngokusondeleyo kwisicatshulwa okanye kwimidiya yoluntu kunokukwenza uzive uhluliwe okanye uhlukanisiwe noluntu lwedijithali.

Ndiqhubeka njani?

Ukuhamba usuka ekusiporheni akubonakali kufana nawo wonke umntu, kwaye indlela ohamba ngayo inokwahluka ukuba loo mntu uliqabane elithandanayo, umhlobo, okanye umntu osebenza naye.

Nazi ezinye zeendlela onokuzinceda ngazo ujongane kwaye wamkele iimvakalelo zakho malunga nokuba ungumoya:

• Beka imida kuqala. Ngaba ufuna nje ukuphosa? Unomdla kwinto engaphezulu? Ngaba ulindele ukuba bangene kuyo yonke imihla? Iveki? Inyanga? Ukunyaniseka kunye nokwenza izinto elubala kunokukunceda wena kunye nomnye umntu uqiniseke ukuba akukho migca iwelwayo ngokungazi.
• Nika loo mntu ixesha elimiselweyo. Ngaba awuzange uve kubo iiveki okanye iinyanga ezimbalwa kwaye ukhathele ukulinda? Banike isigqibo. Umzekelo, ungabathumela umyalezo ubacela ukuba batsalele umnxeba okanye babhale umyalezo kwiveki ezayo, okanye uya kuthatha ukuba ubudlelwane buphelile. Oku kunokubonakala kungqwabalala, kodwa kunokukunika ukuvalwa kwaye kubuyise iimvakalelo zokulahleka kolawulo okanye amandla.
• Musa ukuzibeka ityala ngokuzenzekelayo. Awunabungqina okanye umxholo wokuqukumbela ukuba kutheni omnye umntu eshiye ubudlelwane, ke musa ukuzijongela phantsi kwaye uzenze buhlungu ngokwasemoyeni.
• Musa "ukunyanga" iimvakalelo zakho ngokusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi. Musa ukuyikhathaza intlungu ngeziyobisi, utywala, okanye ezinye izinto ezikhawulezayo. Olu “lungiso” lolokwexeshana, kwaye unokuzibona sele ujongene neemvakalelo ezinzima kamva ngexesha elingenaxakeka, njengakumtshato wakho olandelayo.
• Chitha ixesha nabahlobo okanye nosapho. Funa ubuhlobo nabantu obathembileyo nababelana nabo iimvakalelo zothando nokuhloniphana. Ukufumana ubudlelwane obulungileyo, obunempilo kunokubeka imeko yakho yesiporho kwimeko.
• Funa uncedo lweengcali. Musa ukoyika ukufikelela kugqirha okanye umcebisi onokukunceda uchaze iimvakalelo ezinzima onokuba nazo. Banokukunika ezinye iindlela zokulwa ukuze uqiniseke ukuba uphuma kwelinye icala lomelele, ukuba lomelele kunangaphambili.

Yise kude

I-Ghosting ayisiyonto iqhelekileyo, kodwa uqhagamshelo lwe-intanethi lwe-21st lenkulungwane yobomi lwenze ukuba kube lula ukuhlala unxibelelana, kwaye, ngokungagqibekanga, ikwenze kwacaca ngakumbi xa ubudlelwane buphele ngesiquphe.

Into yokuqala ekufuneka uyikhumbule, nokuba ungumoya okanye sisiporho ekuthethwa ngaso, yinto ebizwa ngokuba ngumthetho wegolide: phatha abanye abantu ngendlela obungathanda ukuphathwa ngayo.

Ukuyitsalela umnxeba kude kunye nokuvalwa kunokuba nzima kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kube buhlungu, kodwa ukuphatha abantu ngobubele nentlonipho kungahamba indlela ende kolu lwalamano nakwelandelayo.