Ndoyisile uMhlaza… Ngoku Ndingawoyisa Njani Ubomi Bam Bothando?

Umxholo

• Ubomi emva komhlaza ayisiyiyo le uyicingayo
• Ukuzibophelela ekungazinziseni

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Impilo kunye nokuphila kakuhle kuchaphazela ngamnye wethu ngokwahlukileyo. Eli libali lomntu omnye.

Ngaba wakha wayibona imovie "Yintwana Yezulu"? Kuyo, umlingiswa kaKate Hudson ufumanisa ukuba unomdlavuza kwaye uthandana nodokotela wakhe.

Ewe, obu yayibubomi bam ngexesha lonyango lomhlaza. Ngaphandle kokuba andizange ndife kwaye kwakungekho ukuphulwa kwe-HIPAA, kuba ugqirha ochaphazelekayo wayengumhlali nje e-ICU.

Yayiluthando ekuqaleni "Gqirha, ndifuna ngaphezulu iDilaudid kunye ne-2 milligram yeAtivan!" ukubona.

Andiqinisekanga ukuba kutheni, kodwa ukuthandana ngelixa ndinyanga umhlaza bekungekho konke oko kunzima kum. Njengommeli wamayeza kwinkampani enkulu yamazwe aphesheya, besele ndichitha ixesha lam esibhedlele. Ngapha koko, abahlobo bam babedla ngokuhlekisa ngam ngendlela endibathanda ngayo oogqirha, besithi ekugqibeleni ndiza kuphelela ekutshateni.

Abantu abasebenza kwinkathalelo yezempilo bahlala benovelwano kakhulu, kuba bakubonile konke. Bayakuhlonipha kwaye bayayiqonda into ohamba kuyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, amanye amadoda endidibene nawo ayeza kudla ukutya kwam kwaye ashiye isitulo sangasese. (Wayengavumi ngokuqinisekileyo kum.) Kodwa abanye babedla ngokuthetha nam, okanye bahambe nenja yam kunye nam, kwanasemva kokutshintsha kobusuku. Phantse zonke iishifti zasebusuku.

Yayingugqirha wam we-ICU. Undinike umbono omtsha ngobomi. Kwaye ndicinga ukuba ndimnikile umbono omtsha, naye.

Ngelishwa, ubomi buba nzima, ngakumbi kwizigulana noogqirha, kwaye intsomi ayizange ihambe njengoko bekucwangcisiwe. Kodwa ndiya kuhlala ndinendawo ekhethekileyo entliziyweni yam ngenxa yalowo ubalekileyo.

Inye into endihlala ndibuzwa yona yile, "Kunjani ukuthandana xa unomhlaza?" Ewe, njengomhlaza kunye nonyango, kwahlukile kuye wonke umntu. Sonke sisabela kubomi be curveballs ngendlela yethu. Kwaye njengoko sele ndiphawulile, kum, kwakulula kakhulu.

Yintoni eyayingelula, ngokumangalisayo, yayikukuthandana emva kokuba unyango lwam lomhlaza luphelile.

Ubomi emva komhlaza ayisiyiyo le uyicingayo

Ungandivi kakubi. Ubomi emva komhlaza bukhulu. Okokuqala, ndiyaphila! Kodwa ayisiyiyo yonke imingxunya kunye namabhabhathane. Ngaphandle kokuba sele usebudlelwaneni ngexesha le-chemo, awukulungelanga ukuphinda ungene kwihlabathi lokuthandana emva konyango. (Olu luluvo lwam, kwaye nawe unganalo. Ndiqinisekile ukuba ebengakulungelanga.) Sele kudlule unyaka onesiqingatha ukusukela kwiseshoni yam yokugqibela ye-chemo, kwaye andazi nokuba ndikulungele ngokupheleleyo na.

Kuba ngokuya kunyango lomhlaza, ulahlekelwa nguwe. Usale kakuhle, ndilahlekile! Andinguye laa mntu bendinguye ndiqala ukungena esibhedlele. Andiqapheli kwaleyo ntombazana.

Unyaka wokuqala wonyango yi-roller coaster. Ingqondo yakho iphantse yabanjiswa yinto yokuba ikamva lingaziwa. Nje ukuba kuphele konke, usasongele intloko yakho kwinto yokuba unyanzelwe ukuba uvumelane nokufa kwakho. Uphantse wafa. Ubunetyhefu. Ulahlekile nakweyiphi na into obuyiyo ngaphambili, kwaye awunokwazi nokuzibona esipilini.

Kananjalo ujongana nemiphumo emininzi yeemvakalelo kunye nomzimba. Akululanga ukuphulukana neenwele, iinkophe, kunye namashiya, kwaye kufuneka uchaze loo nto komnye umntu. Ukungakhuseleki okuninzi kuza noku.

Uya kuzikhathaza, uza kucinga ukuba ubuyela umva, uya kunyibilika.

Konke kulungile. Oku kuqhelekile! Kuya kuba ngcono. Kuya kuthatha ixesha, kodwa kuya kuba ngcono. Kodwa kunzima ukuyichaza le nto kumntu ongazange adlule kuyo. Kunzima nokufumana amandla. Abakwazanga ukuyifumana, akunjalo?

Ukuzibophelela ekungazinziseni

Ngexesha lokuxolelwa, ufumanisa ukuba ufuna ukuba ubomi bakho bube malunga nantoni na. Lixesha lokuba ugxile kuwe kwaye ufunde ukuzithanda kwakhona - kuba ukuba awuzithandi, ungathini omnye umntu?

Kuya kufuneka ufunde ukuba ligorha lakho, kuba akukho mntu uza kungena akusindise. Kufuneka ume ngenyawo zakho zombini. Kufuneka ufunde Njani ukuma ngeenyawo zakho kwakhona.

Sele kuyiminyaka emibini ndifumene isifo somhlaza. Ndineentsuku zam ezimbi, ngokuqinisekileyo, kodwa ubukhulu becala, ndilungile ngoku. Ndibona nje ubomi ngokwahlukileyo kuninzi, okwenza ukuba ukuthandana kube nzima. Ndilixabisile ixesha lam, ndiyabuxabisa ubomi, ndiyazixabisa.

Ndiyazi indlela obufutshane ngayo ubomi. Ndiyazi ukuba kunjani ukuvuka kwi-ICU kwaye uxelelwe ukuba unomdlavuza kuwo onke amalungu omzimba wakho kwaye uza kufa. Ndiyazi ukuba kunjani ukuchitha iintsuku zam ziqhotyoshelwe kwipali ye-chemotherapy elwela ubomi bakho.

Xa ndandigula, ndaqonda ukuba kulo lonke ulwalamano endakha ndakulo, ndandihlala, kwaye ndazisola ngokuhlala kakhulu. Emva komhlaza, andikwazi kuhlala. Ndikhe ndajola, kodwa akukho nto imbi. Umfana wokugqibela endandithandana naye wayemhle kakhulu. Kodwa ekupheleni kosuku, le ngcinga yayihlala isemva kwengqondo yam: Ukuba ndingagula okanye ndife ngomso, ngaba lo ngumntu endifuna ukuba naye? Ngaba ngendandibulele nje ixesha?

Ndifuna umntu endinaye andenze ndizive ndiphila. Ndifuna ukubenza bazive bephila. Ukuba ndijonga emntwini kwaye ndingaziva ngomlingo, okanye ndingenantandabuzo ngaye, andiziva ndifuna ukuqhubeka. Ubomi bufutshane kakhulu ukuba bunokulungela nantoni na engaphantsi, kwaye ndicinga ukuba yinto emangalisayo leyo ukuba umhlaza usifundisa.

Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, andiphantse ndife ukuze ndibambeke kwinto engeyiyo yonke into kum.

Ndiyakholelwa ngokuqinileyo ukuba indalo iphela ihlala inecebo ngathi. Mhlawumbi indalo iphela ibindiphazamisa - ndiyadlala - kodwa kulungile. Ubomi benzelwe ukuba baphile. Ndiyabunandipha ubomi, kwaye andikhawulezisi ukungena kuyo nantoni na enzulu.

Into esinayo thina basindileyo benomhlaza kwihlabathi liphela kukuba sonke siyaqonda ukuba bufutshane kangakanani ubomi, kubaluleke kangakanani ukonwaba. I-knight yakho kwisikrweqe esikhanyayo iya kuza, kwaye eyam nayo, nayo. Musa ukuchitha ixesha lakho uxhalaba malunga nokuba "uyakhathala" na okanye unomdlavuza. Ezimbi ziya kukhathalela, ezilungileyo aziyi kucinga kabini.

Musa ukukhawuleza, kwaye ungahlali kwi-knight enezixhobo ezikhanyayo ezenziwe nge-tinfoil. Ubomi bufutshane kakhulu kunoko.

UJessica Lynne DeCristofaro linqanaba le-4B Hodgkin's lymphoma. Emva kokufumana isifo, wafumanisa ukuba akukho ncwadana yokwenene yabantu abanomdlavuza. Ke ugqiba kwelokuba enze enye. Ukuphindaphinda uhambo lwakhe lomhlaza kwibhlog yakhe, uLymphoma Barbie, wandise imibhalo yakhe wayibhala kwincwadi ethi, "Thetha ngomhlaza kum: Isikhokelo sam ekuKhathaleleni iBooty's Cancer." Uye emva koko wafumanisa inkampani ebizwa Chemo Kits, ebonelela abaguli abanomhlaza kunye nabasindileyo nge-chic chemotherapy "pick-me-up" iimveliso zokuqaqambisa usuku lwabo. UDeCristofaro, ophumelele kwiDyunivesithi yaseNew Hampshire, uhlala eMiami, eFlorida, apho asebenza njengommeli wentengiso yamayeza.