Indlela yokuKhangela kwezopolitiko #RealTalk Ngexesha leeholide

Umxholo

• Umdlalo wangaphambi komdlalo
• Esona siganeko siphambili
• Emva kweQela
• Uphengululo lwe

Akukho mfihlo yokuba olu yayilunyulo olushushu-ukusuka kwiingxoxo phakathi kwabagqatswa ngokwabo ukuya kwiingxoxo ezenzeka kwi-Facebook newsfeed yakho, akukho nto inokukhawulezisa abantu ukuba ibhengeze umgqatswa wakho wezopolitiko. Abantu abaninzi, bediniwe lelona phulo lide embalini, bathe abanakulindela ukuba unyulo luze luphele. Into abantu abaninzi ababengayilindelanga, nangona kunjalo, kukuba xa unyulo ligqityiwe, eyona nto ibalulekileyo yokulwa yayiqala.

I-icing phezu kwekhekhe likamongameli, ngokuqinisekileyo, yinto yokuba ixesha leeholide liza. THANDEKA: Wena kunye ne alllll izihlobo zakho ziintsuku ezingekahlali malunga netafile enkulu yosapho wenze ngathi yonke into ilungile, nangona uyazi ukuba uMalume uTom uphawule iblowu eyahlukileyo kwivoti yakhe, kwaye umzala wakho akazange avote kwaphela. Ngokuqinisekileyo, usapho lwakho lunokusinda kwidrama ethile (umakazi u-Martha wayenayo indlela ubunxila kakhulu kumhla wokuzalwa kukaMakhulu), kodwa xa usongeza iingxoxo ezishushu zopolitiko? Ukugxotha sele kumbole ukubetha fan.

Kungenxa yoko le nto sidale esi sikhokelo sokufumana ixesha leeholide ngaphandle kokuvumela iikhonsathi zopolitiko zijike kwiMfazwe yesibini yeHlabathi. . wena?")

Kwaye ukuba oku sele kuninzi kakhulu, nqumama kwaye ujonge ezi zinto zingama-25 ziqinisekisiwe ukwenza wonke umntu onwabe.

Umdlalo wangaphambi komdlalo

1. Yazi apho imilinganiselo yakho imile khona

Inqaku yile, nokuba iikhonsoli ezinzulu zimalunga nenkolo, ezopolitiko, okanye ezinye iindlela ezibalulekileyo zokukhetha ebomini, ayikhe ibe yinto malunga nesihloko esisesandleni-imalunga nexabiso lakho.

Oku kuqala ngokwazisa iimvakalelo zakho; siphila kwinkcubeko egxile kakhulu ekubeni sihlale sinethemba kwaye siqhubela phambili kangangokuba abantu abaninzi baphelelwe ngumsebenzi xa kufikwa ekujonganeni neemvakalelo ezimbi okanye ezinzima, utshilo uSusan David, isazi ngengqondo kwiSikolo sezoNyango saseHarvard kunye nombhali Ubuchule beemvakalelo.

"Kubalulekile ukuba abantu bazivumele ukuba bazive ukuba baziva njani kunokuba bazame ukuyityhala, kwaye baqonde ukuba ezi mvakalelo zihlala zibonisa izinto esizikhathaleleyo, utshilo. "Banokusinceda ukuba sicace ngakumbi malunga neenqobo zethu, iinjongo zethu, kunye nendlela esifuna ngayo ukuba sehlabathini." (Iimvakalelo ezibonisa ngokwenene zikwenza ube sempilweni ngokubanzi.)

Umzekelo, ukuba ubunxamnye nokuvotela uClinton ngenxa yeengxelo zokunganyaniseki nokugcina iimfihlo, oko kunokuthetha ukuba uyakuxabisa ukuthembela kakhulu. Ukuba uziva ngamandla ngokungavoteli uTrump ngenxa yeengxelo zakhe malunga nabasetyhini okanye abancinci, mhlawumbi kukuba uxabisa ukulingana kunye nokwahluka. Ukubona abazali bakho, izihlobo, okanye abantu osebenza nabo bevotela umgqatswa ochaseneyo banokuziva ngathi kukuhlaselwa ngokwabo; ukuba bavotele omnye umntu, kuvakala ngathi abanamaxabiso afanayo nawe.

I-antidote: Bethelela amaxabiso akho, kwaye uchaze ngokuthe ngqo. “Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukucaca kwinto oyixabisileyo kunceda kakhulu ukomelela kwakho,” utshilo uDavid. "Ukwazi ukuba ungubani kwaye yintoni oyimeleyo iba yikhampasi yokusikhokela kwezi meko." Ukuba nezizathu ezivakalayo zokuba kutheni uziva ngendlela ethile kunceda ukuthintela iimvakalelo zakho ekubizeni izithonga.

2.Yibhale

Ngaba uziva uxhalabile malunga neziphumo zonyulo kwaye kunokuthetha ntoni kwisidlo sangokuhlwa sosapho (okanye ukudibana kwakhona nabahlobo bakho bakudala, okanye iqela lakho leholide)? Zama ukubhala malunga nemizuzu engama-20 ngosuku. Uphando lubonisa ukuba kuya kukunceda ukuba ube nembono ebhetele ngeemvakalelo zakho kunye nengqiqo emva kwezenzo zabanye abantu, utsho uDavid.

Uqala ukuphuhlisa amandla abaluleke kakhulu ukuze ubone enye indlela, ebaluleke kakhulu njengabantu ukuze bakwazi ukuvelana, utshilo. "Ingakumbi ukususela ekubeni olu nyulo lwalugxininise kakhulu 'ezinye-ing.' Yayisithi ngokuchasene nabo. Ngoko ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na kweli nqanaba, ukuthatha imbono kubaluleke kakhulu. " (Nazi ezinye iindlela ezisempilweni zokujongana nomsindo.)

3. Yenza izicwangciso zokuba "Ukuba ... Emva koko ..."

Kudala ujikeleze usapho lwakho amashumi ambalwa eminyaka, ke uyazi ukuba iqengqeleka njani. Uyazi ukuba ngubani oza kucofa amaqhosha akho ngeendlela ezithile-ukulungiselela oko kanye. Chitha inqwelomoya yakho, ukuqhuba, okanye ukukhwela uloliwe ukuya ekhaya ngeeholide ucinga malunga nokuba zeziphi iintlobo zencoko ezinokuvela kunye nendlela ongathanda ukusabela ngayo kuzo.

"Awunakuze ulawule abanye abantu into abayithethayo okanye abayenzayo," utsho uDavid. "Kodwa ukucinga 'ukuba, emva koko' iingxelo zinokukunceda ukuba uzilungiselele ngakumbi, ubuchule, kwaye unxibelelane nawe kule meko kunokuba usebenze ngeendlela ezingasoloko ziluncedo."

4. Misela imida ngaphambi kwexesha

"Ukuba ubamba umsitho, ndicinga ukuba kwamkelekile kuwe ukuba uthi: 'Akukho politiki namhlanje,' utshilo uJulie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D., LCSW" Ngenxa yokungazinzi kunye nokuqina konyulo, njengoko Inginginya, ndicinga ukuba unalo lonke ilungelo lokumisela lo mgaqo usisiseko. "

Kodwa ucinga ntoni? Ukuba ucaphukile, kodwa uceba ukuvala umlomo wakho kwaye ungayihoyi indlovu egumbini, kuya kubuya umlilo, utshilo uDavid. Oko kubizwa ibhotile (ukubamba ngaphakathi okanye ukuvala ezo mvakalelo zingalunganga), kwaye into ehlekisayo kukuba, eyona nto uzama kakhulu ukungayamkeli iyakubuya ibuyele umva. Kuyabizwa ukuvuza ngokweemvakalelo kwaye yinto elinganayo ngokweemvakalelo yokutya kakhulu ipitsa ngo-2 kusasa ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku kuba ubuzama nzima ukubambelela kwisidlo sakho iveki yonke.

Esona siganeko siphambili

1. Yazi ukuba ayithethi ngezopolitiko

Endaweni yokuba uzikhusele, yamkele into ocinga ukuba omnye umntu ayifumana. “Sonke sicinga ukuba sinengqiqo ngezinto, kodwa akukho mntu,” utshilo uHanks. "Zininzi iimvakalelo eziqhuba uninzi lwezi mpendulo zinzulu. Ndiyathanda ukucinga ukuba konke ukugxekwa sisibongozo seemvakalelo ... Yiva isiqwenga semvakalelo abafuna ukuba usive. Kuba, ngokwenene, kwisiseko sethu, sonke sifuna izinto ezifanayo: ukuba sihlonitshwe, siviwe, sixatyiswe, siqondwe, sifuna ukwazi ukuba sibalulekile emntwini. Nje ukuba ucofe loo nto kwaye uyamkele, imeko iya isasazeka ngokupheleleyo, utshilo. (Malunga nokubetha? Zama la manyathelo okuzola, nokuzithemba ukuzehlisa xa sele uza kuphuma.)

2. Yazi ixesha lokuphuma

Ukuba umntu uqala incoko ekhokelela kwindlela owaziyo ukuba iya kuba bumpy, zive ukhululekile ukuba uphume-vele uvume izimvo zabo kuqala, utsho uHanks. "Akukho mntu unokukubandakanya kwingxoxo yezopolitiko ngaphandle kokuzimisela kwakho ukungena kule ngxoxo," utshilo. "Unokuba nembeko kwaye uqiniseke okanye ubaphulaphule emva koko utshintshe umxholo."

Ngenxa yokuba uyazi ukuba zithini na iinqobo zakho, unokuthatha isigqibo xa incoko iye kwinqanaba apho ungasafuni ukuba yinxalenye yalo. "Zibuze: Ndikuzoba phi umgca phakathi kwencoko endiza kuhlala ngokuzolileyo ndimamele, xa kuthelekiswa nexesha endifuna ukuhamba ngalo," utshilo uDavid.

Ukuba uqala ukuva ubushushu besifuba sakho okanye iqhina emqaleni wakho, kunokukunceda ukucofa ikhefu kwaye uqaphele ngokuthe ngqo okwenzekayo. Ukuba uyayiqonda into yokuba unomsindo, wenzakele, ukhathazekile, ungcatshiwe, njl. Oku kukugcina kulawulo, kunokuba uvumele iimvakalelo zikulawule. (I-PS yesayensi ithi kukho ithuba lokuba ulambile, hayi ukuba unomsindo.)

Ukusuka apho, qwalasela indlela isenzo sakho esilandelayo esibonakalisa ngayo ixabiso lakho kunye nokuba ufuna ukuba ngubani njengomntu. Ngaba uyafuna ukuba ngulo mntu uphuma egumbini ngomsindo, okanye umntu oza ngokuzolileyo aze aphendule malunga nexabiso lokunyaniseka, ukwahluka, njl.

Emva kweQela

Khumbula: Sonke singabantu

"Ngoku unyulo luphelile, eli lithuba lokugxila kunxibelelwano kunye nokufana, nokuba asivumelani kwimiba okanye abaviwa," kusho uHanks. Ekugqibeleni, wonke umntu uneemfuno, iimfuno kunye noloyiko olufanayo; abantu boyika ikamva, bafuna ukukhathalela iintsapho zabo, ubudlelwane obuhle, bazive bekhuselekile, baziva behlonitshwa, beqinisekisiwe kwaye beqondwa.

Ekugqibeleni, iiholide lixesha lokubhiyozela kwaye sibe kunye-ke mhlawumbi unamathele nje ukuthetha ngeekati kwi-Intanethi kunye nendlela emangalisayo i-turkey ethanda ngayo, kwaye ugcine intetho yezopolitiko ngoSuku looMongameli. (Kwaye ukuba usavutha ngumsindo, tshintsha uxinzelelo lwakho kulomsebenzi wokulawula umsindo.)

Uphengululo lwe