Wenze Ntoni Xa Ubanjwe Ngothando Olubi

Umxholo

• Ukuxuthwa luthando
• Ukuphuma
• Ungaphilisa njani ngokwahlukana okumangalisayo
• 1. Bamba inani labo
• 2. Yiya iintsuku ezimbalwa
• 3. Vumela ukulila kwaye uzive usizana
• 4. Yenza uluhlu
• 5. Zigcine uphazamisekile.

Ndingathanda ukubheja ukuba uninzi lwethu siye sathandana kakubi ngexesha lokuphila kwethu. Okanye ubunamava amabi.

Ngokwam, ndichithe iminyaka emithathu nomfana endisazi ukuba ezantsi akulunganga kum. Kwakuyimbali yokuqala yothando. Wayemhle, enesidlele, kwaye enothando kakhulu. Wabhala iingoma kum, ngenxa kaThixo! (Njengomntu omdala, loo ngcinga indenza ukuba ndifune ukugabha, kodwa ngelo xesha yayiyeyona nto yothando endakha ndadibana nayo.)

Njengentombazana eyayineentloni kwaye ingazithembi, yayindincoma ingqwalasela yakhe.

Wayekwiqela lomculo, ewuthanda umbongo, kwaye wayeza kundothusa ngokuphuma okuzenzekelayo kunye nezipho. Nge-19, ndacinga ukuba uza kuba yindumasi edumileyo kwaye sichitha ixesha lethu sihamba kwibhasi yokhenketho, kunye nam ndinxibe idyasi yoboya enama-70s kunye neentyatyambo ezinweleni zam. (Ewe bendinjalo kwaye ndisengumlandeli omkhulu ka “Almost Famous.”)

Andizange ndithandane ngaphambili, kwaye iziphumo ezinxilisayo zazilutha ngakumbi kunanoma yiphina ichiza. Sasithandana omnye nomnye. Ndacinga ukuba siza kuba kunye ngonaphakade. Lo ngumfanekiso endincamathele kuwo kwaye ndagxila kuwo xa izinto zimbi.

Ndenza izizathu ezingapheliyo kuye. Xa wayengazukunxibelelana nam kangangeentsuku, kungenxa yokuba "wayekuxabisile ukuzimela kwakhe." Xa wandimisayo kwisikhumbuzo sethu sesibini sokuya kwiholide engxamisekileyo eya e-Egypt, ndazixelela ukuba asidingi sikhumbuzo ukubonisa uthando lwethu.

Xa wayendiqhatha okokuqala, ndingathanda ukuthi ndamsika ebomini bam, ndacheba iinwele ezintsha, ndaza ndaqhubeka nobomi bam (ngo "Nhlonipho" ngu-Aretha Franklin njengengoma yesandi).

Awu, inyani kukuba bendinentliziyo ebuhlungu, nditshatyalaliswe ngokwenene. Kodwa ndambuyisela emva kweveki ezimbini. Ukuthandana okungalunganga, okucocekileyo kwaye kulula.

Ukuxuthwa luthando

Kutheni ndisabele ngale ndlela? Elula. Ndandiyintloko phezu kwezithende ngothando. Ingqondo yam yayithinjwe yiyo.

Njengomntu omdala (ekucingelwa ukuba), ndiyabona ukuxhwila kwenzeka ngalo lonke ixesha kunye namantombazana amancinci kunye namakhwenkwe. Bahlala bahlala nomntu ngaphandle komkhwa okanye uloyiko kwaye bamkele impatho embi kuba bakholelwa ukuba lixabiso lothando. Yiloo nto inkcubeko ethandwayo esikhokelela ekubeni sikholwe. Kwaye ayilunganga.

Ukuchwetheza apha kwikhompyuter yam, andinakucebisa ukuba ubudlelwane obukubo bulungile, buphakathi, okanye buyityhefu. Nangona kunjalo, ndingacebisa izinto ekufuneka zijongwe:

1. Ngaba abahlobo bakho kunye nosapho ababathandi? Abantu abasondeleyo kuwe bahlala bethetha bevela kwindawo yenkxalabo yokwenyani okanye ubungqina bonyango olungalunganga. Basenokungasoloko belungile malunga nezinto, kodwa kufanelekile ukuba siqwalasele inkxalabo yabo.
2. Ngaba uchitha ngaphezulu kweepesenti ezingama-50 zexesha lakho uzikhathaza ngolwalamano lwakho? Ukukhathazeka, ukucinga ngokugqithiseleyo, ukulahlekelwa bubuthongo, okanye ukukhala kaninzi akuyiyo impawu yobudlelwane obuphilileyo.
3. Awumthembi umntu wakho xa eshiya icala lakho. Ubudlelwane bakhelwe kukuthembana.
4. Iqabane lakho liyakuhlukumeza ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba usebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo, kukho imiqondiso ekufuneka uyijongile kunye neendlela zokufumana uncedo.

Ukuphuma

Isiphelo sebali lam sihle kakhulu. Akukho nto yenzekileyo. Ndandinomzuzu webhalbhu yokukhanyisa.

Ndabona ukuba olunye ulwalamano lomhlobo wam lwalunjani kwaye ngesiquphe ndaqonda ukuba lwahluke njani kolwam. Wayehlonitshwa kwaye ephathwa ngononophelo. Le yayiyinto endifaneleyo, nayo, kodwa yayingenakulindeleka ukuba ifike kumfana endandithandana naye ngoko.

Andizukutsho ukuba ukwahlukana kwakulula, ngendlela efanayo nokusika isitho somzimba akukho lula. (Ifilimu "Iiyure ezingama-127" ikwenze kwacaca oku). Kwakukho iinyembezi, amaxesha okuthandabuza, kunye noloyiko olunzulu lokungaze ndiphinde ndidibane nomnye umntu.

Kodwa ndiyenzile. Kwaye ukujonga emva, yayisesinye sezigqibo ezilungileyo endakhe ndazenza.

Ungaphilisa njani ngokwahlukana okumangalisayo

1. Bamba inani labo

Okanye yenza okwenziwa nguDua Lipa kwaye ungayibambi nje ifowuni. Ukuba ukhathazeka ngokuphulukana nokuzilawula, nika umnxeba wakho kumhlobo omthembileyo okanye kwilungu losapho. Oku kusebenze kakuhle kum-kwasusa isilingo.

2. Yiya iintsuku ezimbalwa

Ukuba kunokwenzeka, kuyanceda ukubaleka, nokuba kukutyelela nje abahlobo okanye usapho. Cwangcisa iveki yonke ukuba unako. Uya kuyidinga inkxaso ngeli nqanaba lokuqala.

3. Vumela ukulila kwaye uzive usizana

Awubuthathaka, ungumntu. Ukugcina izinto ezintofontofo ezinje ngezicubu, ukutya okuthuthuzelayo, kunye nokubhaliselwa kweNetflix. Cliché Ndiyazi, kodwa iyanceda.

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4. Yenza uluhlu

Bhala zonke izizathu ezinengqiqo zokuba kutheni ungafanele ube kunye kwaye ubeke endaweni apho uza kuyibona rhoqo.

5. Zigcine uphazamisekile.

Ndalicoca ngokutsha igumbi lam lokulala xa ndigqitha kokwahlukana. Ukugcina ingqondo yam iphazamisekile kwaye izandla zam zixakekile (kunye nokutshintsha ukuba imeko yam injani) yayiluncedo kakhulu.

Ubomi bufutshane kakhulu ukuba ungahlala nomntu ongakuphathanga ngothando nentlonipho. Yiba nobulumko, ube nesibindi, kwaye ube nobubele kuwe.

UClaire Eastham yiblogger ephumelele amabhaso kunye nombhali othengisa kakhulu “Sonke Siphambene apha. ” Tyelela iwebhusayithi yakhe okanye qhagamshela Twitter!