Unokumnceda njani uMhlobo oxinezelekileyo

Umxholo

• 1. Baphulaphule
• 2. Bancede bafumane inkxaso
• 3. Baxhase ekuqhubekeni nokunyanga
• 4. Zihoye
• Beka imida
• Ziqhelanise nokuzikhathalela
• 5. Funda ngokudakumba ngokwakho
• 6. Cela ukuncedisa kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla
• 7. Yandisa izimemo ezikhululekileyo
• 8. Yiba nomonde
• 9. Hlala uqhagamshelana
• 10. Yazi iintlobo ezahlukileyo zokudakumba ezinokuthatha
• Izinto ekungafuneki zenziwe
• 1. Musa ukuthatha izinto ngobuqu
• 2. Ungazami ukuzilungisa
• 3. Musa ukunika iingcebiso
• 4. Musa ukunciphisa okanye ukuthelekisa amava abo
• 5. Musa ukuthabatha amayeza
• Xa ilixesha lokungenelela
• Ndijamelana Njani: Ukudakumba kukaDavid kunye neMbali yokuXhalaba

Ngaba unaye umhlobo ohlala noxinzelelo? AWUKHO wedwa.

Ngokweziqikelelo zamva nje ezivela kwiZiko leSizwe lezeMpilo yeNgqondo, ngaphezulu nje kwipesenti ezisi-7 zabo bonke abantu abadala base-US bafumana isiqendu soxinzelelo olukhulu ngo-2017.

Ehlabathini lonke, ngaphezulu kokudakumba.

Kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu ofumana uxinzelelo ngendlela efanayo, kwaye iimpawu ziyahluka.

Ukuba umhlobo wakho unengxaki yoxinzelelo, banokuthi:

• kubonakala kulusizi okanye kulila
• babonakale bephelelwe lithemba kunesiqhelo okanye bengenathemba ngekamva
• Thetha ngokuziva unetyala, ulambatha, okanye uxabisekile
• Kubonakala ngathi abanamdla wokuchitha ixesha kunye okanye banxibelelane rhoqo kunesiqhelo
• ukucaphuka msinya okanye ukucaphuka ngokungaqhelekanga
• Unamandla amancinci, hamba kancinci, okanye ubonakale ungabinalo uluhlu
• abanamdla ungako kwinkangeleko yabo kunesiqhelo okanye bayakhathala ngococeko olusisiseko, olufana nokuhlamba nokuxukuxa
• unengxaki yokulala okanye ukulala kakhulu kunesiqhelo
• Ayikhathali kangako ngemisebenzi yabo yesiqhelo kunye nezinto abanomdla kuzo
• zibonakala zilibele okanye zinengxaki yokujonga okanye ukuthatha isigqibo kwizinto
• yitya kakhulu okanye ngaphantsi kunesiqhelo
• Thetha ngokufa okanye ukuzibulala

Apha, siza kuhamba ngaphezulu kwezinto ezili-10 onokuzenza ukunceda kunye nezinto ezimbalwa onokuthi uziphephe.

1. Baphulaphule

Yazisa umhlobo wakho ukuba ubalungele. Ungaqala incoko ngokwabelana ngeenkxalabo zakho nangokubuza umbuzo othile. Umzekelo, usenokuthi, “Kubonakala ngathi unengxaki apha mva nje. Ucinga ntoni?"

Gcina ukhumbula ukuba umhlobo wakho angafuna ukuthetha malunga nendlela abavakalelwa ngayo, kodwa basenokungafuni ngcebiso.

Thetha nomhlobo wakho ngokusebenzisa ubuchule bokumamela obusebenzayo:

• Buza imibuzo ukuze ufumane ulwazi oluthe kratya endaweni yokucinga ukuba uyayiqonda into abayithethayo.
• Qinisekisa iimvakalelo zabo. Usenokuthi, “Ingathi inzima nyhani loo nto. Uxolo ukuva oko."
• Bonisa uvelwano kunye nomdla kulwimi lwakho lomzimba.

Umhlobo wakho usenokungafuni ukuthetha xa uqala ukucela, kunganceda ukuqhubekeka nokubaxelela ukuba uyakhathala.

Qhubeka ubuze imibuzo evulekileyo (ngaphandle kokunyanzelwa) kwaye uchaze inkxalabo yakho. Zama ukuba nencoko ngobuqu xa kunokwenzeka. Ukuba uhlala kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo, zama ukuncokola ngevidiyo.

2. Bancede bafumane inkxaso

Umhlobo wakho usenokungazi ukuba ujongene nokudakumba, okanye banokungaqiniseki ngendlela yokufumana inkxaso.

Nokuba bayazi ukuba unyango lunokunceda, kunokuba nzima ukukhangela ugqirha kunye nokwenza idinga.

Ukuba umhlobo wakho ubonakala enomdla wokucebisa, cela ukubanceda baphonononge abanokubakho kunyango. Unokunceda uluhlu lomhlobo wakho ukuba ubuze abanyangi abanokubakho kunye nezinto abafuna ukuzikhankanya kwiseshoni yabo yokuqala.

Ukubakhuthaza nokubanceda ukuba benze idinga lokuqala kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ukuba bayasokola.

3. Baxhase ekuqhubekeni nokunyanga

Ngosuku olubi, umhlobo wakho unokuziva engafuni ukuphuma endlwini. Uxinzelelo kunokubangela amandla kunye nokwandisa umnqweno wokuzahlula.

Ukuba bathetha into enje, "Ndicinga ukuba ndiza kulurhoxisa unyango lwam," bakhuthaze ukuba babambelele.

Unokuthi, “Kwiveki ephelileyo uthe iseshoni yakho ibinemveliso kwaye uzive ungcono kakhulu emva koko. Ungathini ukuba iseshoni yanamhlanje iyanceda, nayo? "

Okufanayo kuya kunyango. Ukuba umhlobo wakho ufuna ukuyeka ukuthatha amayeza ngenxa yeziphumo ebezingalindelekanga ezingathandekiyo, mxhase, kodwa ubakhuthaze ukuba bathethe nogqirha wabo malunga nokutshintshela kwi-antidepressant eyahlukileyo okanye ukuyeka iyeza ngokupheleleyo.

Ukuyekisa ngesiquphe i-anti-depressants ngaphandle kolawulo lomboneleli wezempilo kunokuba neziphumo ezibi.

4. Zihoye

Xa umkhathalele umntu ophila noxinzelelo, kuyakulinga ukulahla yonke into ukuba ibe secaleni kwabo kwaye ubaxhase. Akuphosakalanga ukufuna ukunceda umhlobo, kodwa kukwabalulekile ukukhathalela iimfuno zakho.

Ukuba ubeka onke amandla akho ekuxhaseni umhlobo wakho, uya kuba nokuncinci kuwe. Kwaye ukuba uziva udiniwe okanye ukhathazekile, awuyi kuba luncedo kakhulu kumhlobo wakho.

Beka imida

Ukubeka imida kunokunceda. Umzekelo, ungazisa umhlobo wakho ukuba uyafumaneka ukuze uthethe emva kokuba ufike ekhaya uvela emsebenzini, kodwa hayi ngaphambi koko.

Ukuba unenkxalabo ngabo beziva ngathi abanakufikelela kuwe, cela ukubanceda ukuba beze nesicwangciso sexesha elinokubakho ukuba bayakudinga ngexesha lomsebenzi wakho. Oku kunokubandakanya ukufumana i-hotline abanokuyitsalela umnxeba okanye beze negama lekhowudi abanokuthumela imiyalezo ukuba bakwingxaki.

Usenokuvuma ukumisa yonke imihla okanye uzise ukutya kabini ngeveki, endaweni yokuzama ukunceda yonke imihla. Ukubandakanya abanye abahlobo kunokunceda ukwenza inethiwekhi enkulu yenkxaso.

Ziqhelanise nokuzikhathalela

Ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nomntu omthandayo onexinzelelo kunokuthatha uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo. Yazi imida yakho ejikeleze iimvakalelo ezinzima, kwaye uqiniseke ukuba uthatha ixesha lokuzihlaziya.

Ukuba ufuna ukwazisa umhlobo wakho ukuba awuzukufumaneka okwethutyana, usenokuthi, "Andikwazi ukuthetha kude kube liX. Ndingajonga nawe xa kunjalo? ”

5. Funda ngokudakumba ngokwakho

Khawufane ucinge xa ​​kufuneka ufundise umntu ngamnye ebomini bakho malunga nengxaki yempilo yengqondo okanye yomzimba ohlangabezana nayo-ukuyicacisa kaninzi-ninzi. Izandi ziyadinisa, akunjalo?

Ungathetha nomhlobo wakho malunga neempawu ezithile okanye indlela abavakalelwa ngayo, kodwa kuthintele ukubabuza ukuba bakuxelele ngoxinzelelo ngokwemiqathango ngokubanzi.

Funda malunga neempawu, oonobangela, iikhrayitheriya zokuqonda isifo, kunye nonyango lwakho ngokwakho.

Ngelixa abantu befumana uxinzelelo ngokwahlukileyo, ukuziqhelanisa neempawu eziqhelekileyo kunye nesigama kunokukunceda ukuba ube nezincoko ezinzulu ngakumbi nomhlobo wakho.

La manqaku sisiqalo esihle:

• Uxinzelelo: Iinyani, Izibalo, kunye nawe
• Iindidi ezili-9 zoxinzelelo kunye nendlela yokuziqonda
• Unobangela woxinzelelo
• Eyona nto ifana nokuhamba ngokudakumba okunzulu, okumnyama

6. Cela ukuncedisa kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla

Ngoxinzelelo, imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla inokuziva ingaphaya. Izinto ezinjengokuhlamba iimpahla, ukuthenga ivenkile, okanye ukuhlawula amatyala kunokuqala ukuqokelela, kusenza kube nzima ukwazi ukuba ungaqala phi.

Umhlobo wakho angaluxabisa uncedo loncedo, kodwa basenokungakwazi ukutsho ngokucacileyo ukuba bafuna uncedo ngantoni.

Endaweni yokuthi "Ndazise ukuba kukho nantoni na endinokuyenza," cinga ukuthi, "Ufuna oluphi uncedo namhlanje?"

Ukuba uqaphela ifriji yabo ayinanto, yithi "Ndingakusa evenkileni, okanye ndikuthathe xa ufuna ukubhala uluhlu?" okanye "Masiyothenga ukutya sipheke isidlo sangokuhlwa kunye."

Ukuba umhlobo wakho ngasemva kwisitya, impahla, okanye eminye imisebenzi yasekhaya, cela ukuza, ubeke umculo, kwaye wenze umsebenzi othile kunye. Ukuba nenkampani nje kungenza umsebenzi ubonakale ungoyiki kangako.

7. Yandisa izimemo ezikhululekileyo

Abantu abaphila noxinzelelo banokuba nexesha elinzima ukufikelela kubahlobo kunye nokwenza okanye ukugcina izicwangciso. Kodwa ukurhoxisa izicwangciso kunokuba negalelo kwityala.

Ipateni yezicwangciso ezirhoxisiweyo zinokukhokelela kwizimemo ezimbalwa, ezinokonyusa ukubekwa bucala. Ezi mvakalelo zinokubangela ukudakumba.

Unokunceda ekuqinisekiseni umhlobo wakho ngokuqhubeka nokwandisa izimemo kwimisebenzi, nokuba uyazi ukuba akunakulindeleka ukuba yamkele. Baxelele ukuba uyaqonda ukuba abanakugcina izicwangciso xa bekwindawo ekrwada kwaye akukho xinzelelo lokuxhoma kude kube bakulungele.

Bakhumbuze nje ukuba uyavuya ukubabona nanini na besiva ngathi.

8. Yiba nomonde

Ukudakumba kuhlala kuphucula kunyango, kodwa kunokuba yinkqubo ecothayo ebandakanya ulingo kunye nephutha. Banokuzama iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokufumana iingcebiso okanye amayeza ngaphambi kokuba bafumane into enceda iimpawu zabo.

Nokuba unyango oluyimpumelelo aluthethi ukuba ukudakumba kuhamba kwaphela. Umhlobo wakho unokuqhubeka nokuba neempawu amaxesha ngamaxesha.

Okwangoku, baya kuba neentsuku ezintle kunye neentsuku ezimbi. Kuphephe ukuthatha usuku oluhle kuthetha ukuba "baphilisiwe," kwaye uzame ukungakhathazeki ukuba umtya weentsuku ezimbi wenza kubonakale ngathi umhlobo wakho akasoze aphucule.

Ukudakumba akunalo ixesha lokubuyisa elicacileyo. Ukulindela ukuba umhlobo wakho abuyele kwimo yesiqhelo emva kweeveki ezimbalwa kunyango akunakunceda namnye kuni.

9. Hlala uqhagamshelana

Ukwazisa umhlobo wakho ukuba ubakhathalele njengoko beqhubeka nokusebenza ngokudakumba kunokunceda.

Nokuba awunakho ukuchitha ixesha elininzi nabo rhoqo, jonga rhoqo ngombhalo, umnxeba, okanye undwendwele ngokukhawuleza. Nokuba uthumele umyalezo okhawulezileyo othi "bendikucinga kwaye ndiyakhathala" unokunceda.

Abantu abaphila noxinzelelo banokuthi bazikhuphe ngakumbi kwaye baphephe ukufikelela, ngenxa yoko unokuzibona usenza umsebenzi omninzi ukugcina ubuhlobo. Kodwa ukuqhubeka nokuba nobungqina obuhle, obuxhasayo kubomi bomhlobo wakho bungenza wonke umahluko kubo, nokuba abanako ukukuchaza oko ngalo mzuzu.

10. Yazi iintlobo ezahlukileyo zokudakumba ezinokuthatha

Ukudakumba kuhlala kubandakanya ukudana okanye ukudakumba, kodwa ikwanazo nezinye, iimpawu ezingaziwayo.

Umzekelo, abantu abaninzi abaqondi ukuba ukudakumba kunokubandakanya:

• umsindo nokucaphuka
• ukudideka, iingxaki zememori, okanye ubunzima ekugxileni
• ukudinwa okugqithisileyo okanye imiba yokulala
• iimpawu zomzimba ezinje ngesisu, iintlungu rhoqo, okanye umqolo kunye nezinye iintlungu zemisipha

Umhlobo wakho uhlala ebonakala ngathi akonwabanga, okanye uzive uphelelwe lixesha elininzi. Zama ukugcina engqondweni ukuba oko bakuvayo kuseyinxalenye yoxinzelelo, nokuba akuhambelani neenguqulelo zoxinzelelo zoxinzelelo.

Nokuba awuyazi indlela yokubanceda bazive bebhetele, ngokulula uthi “Ndiyaxolisa ukuba uziva ngale ndlela. Ndilapha ukunceda ukuba kukho nantoni na endinokuyenza ”inokunceda.

Izinto ekungafuneki zenziwe

1. Musa ukuthatha izinto ngobuqu

Ukudakumba komhlobo wakho ayilotyala lakho, nanjengoko ingesosiphoso sabo.

Zama ukungakuvumeli ukuba kufike kuwe ukuba kubonakala ngathi bakukhuphela ngomsindo okanye kukukhathazeka, qhubeka urhoxisa izicwangciso (okanye ulibale ukulandela), okanye ungafuni kwenza nantonina.

Unokuthi, ngaxa lithile, udinge ikhefu kumhlobo wakho. Kulungile ukuthatha indawo ngokwakho ukuba uziva ukhathazekile ngokwasemphefumlweni, kodwa kukwabalulekile ukunqanda ukubeka ityala kumhlobo wakho okanye ukuthetha izinto ezinokuba negalelo kwiimvakalelo zabo ezingalunganga.

Kunoko, cinga ukuthetha nomgqirha okanye omnye umntu oncedisayo malunga nendlela oziva ngayo.

2. Ungazami ukuzilungisa

Ukudakumba yimeko enzulu yempilo yengqondo efuna unyango lobungcali.

Kunokuba nzima ukuqonda ngqo ukuba uziva njani xa unokudandatheka ukuba awuzange ube nawo. Kodwa ayisiyonto inokuphiliswa ngamabinzana anenjongo ezintle anje, "Kuya kufuneka ubulele ngezinto ezintle ebomini bakho" okanye "Yeka ukucinga ngezinto ezibuhlungu."

Ukuba awunakuthetha into kumntu ophila nemeko yomzimba, njengeswekile okanye umhlaza, ngekhe utsho kumhlobo wakho onexinzelelo.

Wena unako khuthaza ukuzithemba (nangona umhlobo wakho engaphenduli) ngokubakhumbuza ngezinto ozithandayo ngabo - ngakumbi xa kubonakala ngathi banezinto ezingathandekiyo abanokuzithetha.

Inkxaso efanelekileyo inokwazisa umhlobo wakho ukuba zibalulekile kuwe.

3. Musa ukunika iingcebiso

Nangona utshintsho oluthile lwendlela yokuphila luhlala lukunceda ukuphucula iimpawu zoxinzelelo, kunokuba nzima ukwenza olu tshintsho phakathi kwesiqendu esibuhlungu.

Unokufuna ukunceda ngokunika iingcebiso, njengokuzilolonga ngakumbi okanye ukutya ukutya okusempilweni. Kodwa nokuba licebo elilungileyo, umhlobo wakho usenokungafuni ukuliva ngalo mzuzu.

Kungafika ixesha apho umhlobo wakho efuna ukufumanisa ukuba zeziphi ukutya ezinokukunceda kuxinzelelo okanye indlela umthambo onokuzikhupha ngayo iimpawu. Kude kube lelo xesha, nangona kunjalo, kunokuba ngcono ukubambelela ekuphulaphuleni ngovelwano kwaye uphephe ukunika ingcebiso de ubuzwe.

Khuthaza utshintsho olulungileyo ngokubamemela kuhambo okanye ukupheka isidlo esinesondlo kunye.

4. Musa ukunciphisa okanye ukuthelekisa amava abo

Ukuba umhlobo wakho uthetha ngoxinzelelo lwabo, ungafuna ukuthetha izinto ezinje, "Ndiyayiqonda," okanye "Sikhona sonke." Kodwa ukuba awuzange ukhe ujongane noxinzelelo ngokwakho, oku kungazinciphisa iimvakalelo zabo.

Uxinzelelo lwengqondo lungaphaya kokuziva ulusizi okanye uphantsi. Usizi luhlala ludlula ngokukhawuleza, ngelixa uxinzelelo lunokuhlala luchaphazele imeko, ubudlelwane, umsebenzi, isikolo, kunye nazo zonke ezinye izinto zobomi iinyanga okanye iminyaka.

Ukuthelekisa izinto abajamelana nazo neengxaki zomnye umntu okanye ukuthetha izinto ezinje, "Kodwa izinto zinokuba mbi kakhulu," ngokubanzi akuncedi.

Intlungu yomhlobo wakho yeyona nto iyinyani kubo ngoku-kwaye uqinisekisa ukuba iintlungu zezona zinokubanceda kakhulu.

Yitsho into enje, "Andikwazi ukucinga ukuba kunzima kangakanani ukujongana nayo. Ndiyazi ukuba andinakukwenza uzive ungcono, kodwa khumbula ukuba awuwedwa. ”

5. Musa ukuthabatha amayeza

Amayeza anokunceda kakhulu kuxinzelelo, kodwa awusebenzi kakuhle kuwo wonke umntu.

Abanye abantu abazithandi iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga kwaye bakhetha ukunyanga uxinzelelo ngonyango okanye ngamayeza endalo. Nokuba ucinga ukuba umhlobo wakho kufuneka athathe i-anti-depressant, khumbula ukuba ukukhetha ukuthatha amayeza sisigqibo sakho.

Ngokukwanjalo, ukuba ngokobuqu awukholelwa kunyango, wuphephe lo mbandela xa uthetha nabo. Abanye abantu, amayeza abalulekileyo ekufikeleleni kwindawo apho banokuzibandakanya ngokupheleleyo kunyango kwaye baqale ukuthatha amanyathelo okubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.

Ekupheleni kosuku, nokuba umntu oxinezelekileyo uthatha amayeza sisigqibo sobuqu esona sishiyekileyo kubo nakumboneleli wezempilo.

Xa ilixesha lokungenelela

Ukuxinezeleka kunokunyusa umngcipheko womntu ngokuzibulala okanye ukuzenzakalisa, ke kuyanceda ukwazi indlela yokuqonda imiqondiso.

Ezinye zeempawu ezinokubonisa ukuba umhlobo wakho uneengcinga zokuzibulala ezibandakanya:

• Ukutshintsha kwemozulu rhoqo okanye utshintsho kubuntu
• uthetha ngokufa okanye ukufa
• ukuthenga isixhobo
• ukwanda kokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi
• Ukuziphatha okuyingozi okanye okuyingozi
• ukulahla izinto okanye ukupha izinto ezixabisekileyo
• ukuthetha ngokuziva ubanjisiwe okanye ufuna indlela yokuphuma
• ukutyhala abantu kude okanye besithi bafuna ukushiywa bodwa
• Ndivalelisa ngovakalelo ngakumbi kunesiqhelo

Ukuba ucinga ukuba umhlobo wakho ucinga ngokuzibulala, babongoze ukuba babize abanyangi ngelixa ukunye nabo okanye ubuze umhlobo wakho ukuba ungababiza na.

Banokubhalela "IKHAYA" kwiCrisis Text Line ku-741741 okanye bafowunele iNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline ku-1-800-273-8255.

Hayi eUnited States? Umbutho waMazwe ngaMazwe wokuThintela ukuzibulala unokukuqhagamshela kwiminxeba eshushu kunye nezinye izixhobo kwilizwe lakho.

Unokuthatha nomhlobo wakho uye kwigumbi likaxakeka. Ukuba kuyenzeka, hlala nomhlobo wakho bade bazive befuna ukuzibulala. Qinisekisa ukuba abanakho ukufikelela kuzo naziphi na izixhobo okanye iziyobisi.

Ukuba unenkxalabo malunga nomhlobo wakho, unokukhathazeka ukuba ukukhankanya kubo kunokukhuthaza iingcinga zokuzibulala. Kodwa kuluncedo ngokubanzi ukuthetha ngayo.

Buza umhlobo wakho ukuba bakuthathele ingqalelo na ukuzibulala. Basenokufuna ukuthetha nomnye umntu ngayo kodwa abaqinisekanga ngendlela yokuza nesihloko esinzima.

Bakhuthaze ukuba bathethe nonyango lwabo malunga nezo ngcinga, ukuba azikabikho. Cela ukubanceda ukuba benze isicwangciso sokhuseleko abanokusisebenzisa ukuba bacinga ukuba bangazenza ezo ngcinga.

Ndijamelana Njani: Ukudakumba kukaDavid kunye neMbali yokuXhalaba