Ngaba Ukhathazekile Okanye Uxhalabile? Nantsi indlela yokuxelela.

Umxholo

• 1. Ukukhathazeka kuthetha ukuba ulawula ubunzulu kunye nexesha lokukhathazeka kwakho. Ngoxinzelelo, akukho lula oko.
• 2. Ukukhathazeka kunokubangela uxinzelelo lomzimba (nolwexeshana). Ukuxhalaba kubangela ukusabela okukhulu komzimba.
• 3. Ukukhathazeka kukhokelela kwiingcinga onokuthi uzigcine ngokwembono. Ixhala linokukwenza ukuba ucinge 'ngeyona meko imbi.'
• 4. Iziganeko zokwenene zibangela ixhala. Ingqondo idala ixhala.
• 5. Ukukhathazeka kweebbs kunye nokuhamba. Ixhala linamathela kwaye lichaphazela umgangatho wobomi bakho.
• 6. Ukukhathazeka kunokuba nemveliso. Ukuxhalaba kunokunciphisa.
• 7. Ukukhathazeka akufuneki ukunyangwa. Kodwa ixhala linokuxhamla kuncedo lobuchwephesha.

Ukuwuqonda umohluko kuya kukunceda ujongane nokuba ungasebenza njani ngokukuko.

Ukhathazeke kakhulu. ” Kukangaphi umntu ekuxelela lonto?

Ukuba ungomnye wezigidi ezingama-40 zaseMelika ezihlala zixhalabile, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba uve la magama mane rhoqo.

Ngelixa ixhala liyinxalenye yoxinzelelo, ngokuqinisekileyo ayifani. Kwaye ukudideka kwezi zimbini kungakhokelela kukukhathazeka kubantu abanoxinzelelo.

Ke, uwuchaza njani umahluko? Nazi iindlela ezisixhenxe zokukhathazeka kunye noxinzelelo ezahlukileyo.

1. Ukukhathazeka kuthetha ukuba ulawula ubunzulu kunye nexesha lokukhathazeka kwakho. Ngoxinzelelo, akukho lula oko.

Sonke siba nexhala ngaxa lithile, kwaye uninzi lwethu luyakhathazeka mihla le. Ngokwe-psychologist yezonyango uDanielle Forshee, i-Psy.D, abo banexhala -thetha wonke umntu-banokulawula ubungakanani kunye nexesha lokucinga kwabo.

"Umzekelo, umntu oxhalabileyo unokuphambukiswa komnye umsebenzi aze alibale ngeengcinga zakhe ezixhalabisayo," ucacisa uForshee. Kodwa umntu oxhalabileyo angasokola ukushenxisa ingqalelo yabo bayise komnye umsebenzi baye komnye, nto leyo ebangela ukuba iingcinga ezixhalabisayo zizisebenzise.

2. Ukukhathazeka kunokubangela uxinzelelo lomzimba (nolwexeshana). Ukuxhalaba kubangela ukusabela okukhulu komzimba.

Xa uxhalabile, uhlala ufumana uxinzelelo lomzimba ngokubanzi. UForshee uthi kuhlala kufutshane kakhulu xa kuthelekiswa nomntu onexhala.

"Umntu oxhalabileyo uhlala enamanani aphezulu kakhulu ezimpawu zomzimba, kubandakanya iintloko eziqaqambayo, uxinzelelo ngokubanzi, ukuqina esifubeni kunye nokungcangcazela," uyongeza.

3. Ukukhathazeka kukhokelela kwiingcinga onokuthi uzigcine ngokwembono. Ixhala linokukwenza ukuba ucinge 'ngeyona meko imbi.'

UForshee uthi ukucacisa lo mahluko akukho malunga nokuthelekiswa xa kuthelekiswa neengcinga ezingekho ngqiqweni kuba, ngokubanzi, abantu abanokukhathazeka okanye unxunguphalo banokutshintsha phakathi kweengcinga ezingeyonyani nezingeyonyani.

UForshee uthi: "Umahluko ocacileyo kukuba abo banexhala bavuthela izinto ngokungalinganiyo rhoqo kwaye nangamandla amakhulu kunomntu osokola ukukhathazeka ngento ethile."

Abo banexhala banexesha elinzima kakhulu ukuzisusa kwezo ngcinga zintlekele.

4. Iziganeko zokwenene zibangela ixhala. Ingqondo idala ixhala.

Xa ukhathazeka, uhlala ucinga ngesiganeko sokwenene esenzekayo okanye esiza kwenzeka. Kodwa xa ujongene noxinzelelo, uhlala u-hyperfocus kwiziganeko okanye izimvo ezenziwa yingqondo yakho.

Umzekelo, umntu usenokukhathazeka ngeqabane lakhe ngelixa benyuka ileli, kuba banokuwa bazenzakalise. Kodwa umntu oxhalabileyo, ucacisa uNatalie Moore, i-LMFT, angavuka azive esongelwa ukuba iqabane lakhe liza kufa, kwaye abazi ukuba ivela phi le mbono.

5. Ukukhathazeka kweebbs kunye nokuhamba. Ixhala linamathela kwaye lichaphazela umgangatho wobomi bakho.

Kubantu abaninzi, ixhala liza lidlule, kwaye iziphumo azichaphazeli ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla. Kodwa u-Moore uthi uxinzelelo lubangela ukungonwabi rhoqo kwaye okunamandla ngokwaneleyo ukuba nefuthe kumgangatho wobomi bakho.

6. Ukukhathazeka kunokuba nemveliso. Ukuxhalaba kunokunciphisa.

"Ukukhathazeka kunokuvelisa ukuba kuvelisa isisombululo seengxaki zangempela," kuchaza uNicki Nance, PhD, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye noprofesa onxulumene neenkonzo zoluntu kunye nesayikholoji kwiKholeji yaseBeacon.

Ngapha koko, uMoreore uthi inani elithile lexhala liqhelekile kwaye liyimfuneko ebantwini ukukhusela ukhuseleko lwabo kunye nabathandekayo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuxhalaba okugqithileyo okuhlala kuhamba noxinzelelo kunokuba yingozi ukuba kuthintela ukuhlangabezana noxanduva okanye ukuphazamisa ubudlelwane.

7. Ukukhathazeka akufuneki ukunyangwa. Kodwa ixhala linokuxhamla kuncedo lobuchwephesha.

Kuba ukukhathazeka yinxalenye yobomi bethu bemihla ngemihla, yinto esivakalelwa ngayo ngaphandle kokufuna uncedo lobungcali. Kodwa ukulawula uxinzelelo olunzulu kwaye oluqhubekayo kuhlala lufuna uncedo lweengcali zempilo yengqondo.

Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo unenkxalabo malunga noxinzelelo, kubalulekile ukuba ufune uncedo lobuchwephesha. Thetha ugqirha okanye omnye umboneleli wezempilo malunga nokhetho kunyango lokunceda ukulawula iimpawu zoxinzelelo.

USara Lindberg, i-BS, i-M. Ed, ngumbhali wezempilo kunye nokuzimela. Uphethe i-bachelor's kwi-science kunye ne-degree ye-master in counselling. Uchithe ubomi bakhe efundisa abantu ngokubaluleka kwempilo, impilo, ingqondo, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ugqwesa ekuxhumeni komzimba kunye nokugxila kwindlela impilo yethu yengqondo kunye neemvakalelo ezichaphazela ngayo impilo kunye nempilo yethu.