Ewe, Unako (kwaye kufanele) uzinike ukumbamba

Umxholo

• Ukuzigona kuneengenelo ezinkulu
• Inokukunceda ukunciphisa iintlungu
• Inokukunceda uzive ukhuselekile kwaye ukhuselekile
• Inokuphucula imeko yakho
• Inokonyusa uvelwano
• Indlela yokwenza
• Ukuzanga 101
• Kulungile ngokupheleleyo ukuba uthethe ngokwakho
• Olunye uqeqesho lokuzithanda ukuzama
• Ukucamngca ngengqondo
• Yonwabele indalo
• Yenza isidlo osithandayo
• Phila ngenjongo
• Umgca wezantsi

Ukuqubisana kunokubonelela ngokuthuthuzela okuninzi.

Banokukunceda uzive usondele emntwini omkhathaleleyo, nokuba liqabane, umhlobo, okanye umntwana. Banokunyusa iimvakalelo zokonwaba kunye nokuzaliseka ngokuqinisa ulwazi lwakho lokuba abanye abantu bakukhathalele.

Xa iimeko zikuthintela ukuba uchithe ixesha nabantu obathandayo, unokuziva ulangazelela uthando lomzimba. Ukuchukumisa sisidingo esisiseko, ke oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Ukuhamba ngaphandle, ngakumbi ixesha elide kunexesha eliqhelekileyo, kunokuba nefuthe elihle kwimpilo yakho yeemvakalelo.

Kukho iindaba ezimnandi apha. Ukuwola kowona ukufutshane kunye nesithandwa sakho kuya kukunceda uzive ungcono ngokukhawuleza. Okwangoku, ukuba ufuna ukwangiwa wedwa kwaye uwedwa, kutheni ungakhe uzame ukuzinika?

Siyayifumana. Ukuzanga kunokuvakala kuyinto encinci, nokuba bubudenge, kodwa yinto eyinyani.

Ukuzigona kuneengenelo ezinkulu

Njengokuwola, ukuzigona kunokufumana izibonelelo ezintle, ke yindlela entle yokuzinika uthando.

Inokukunceda ukunciphisa iintlungu

Ngokophando lwango-2011, ukuzigona kunokunceda ukunciphisa iintlungu.

Kolu phando lincinci, abaphandi basebenzise i-laser ukuvelisa iintlungu ezinje nge-pinprick-like sensors in 20 nxaxheba. Xa abathathi-nxaxheba bewela iingalo zabo (ngokufanayo nendlela oya kuwela ngayo iingalo zakho xa uzinika i-hug), baxele ukuba baneentlungu ezingaphantsi.

Ababhali bacebisa ukuba esi siphumo sinxulumene nokudideka kwingqondo malunga nokuba zivela phi iintlungu. Intlungu yenzeka kwindawo enye, kodwa ukuba iingalo zakho zinqamlezile, ingqondo yakho iyaxutywa ngaphezulu kwendawo ekubonisa kuyo iintlungu.

Ngelixa ingqondo yakho isebenza ukuyilungisa le nto, inesakhono esincitshisiweyo sokuqhubekeka nolunye ulwazi-kubandakanya ubungakanani beentlungu.

Unokuba nolwazi oluthile kunye nesicwangciso esifanayo sokunciphisa intlungu xa uke wazama ukuhlikihla okanye ukubetha kwindawo enobuhlungu, enqabileyo, okanye ecasulayo. Ukongeza imvakalelo eyongezelelweyo kunika ingqondo yakho ngakumbi kwinkqubo, enokuthi ichaphazele indlela eliqonda ngayo inqanaba lentlungu.

Ukukhululeka kwentlungu ehambelana nokuwola kunokuba nenye inkcazo, nayo.

icebisa ukuba ihomoni yioxytocin, ekhutshwe ngokuthambisa, inokudlala indima ekuthomalaliseni iintlungu.

Ukukhutshwa kwe-Oxytocin kunokunceda ukunciphisa iintlungu ngokuthe ngqo. Ababhali bokuphononongwa baqaphela le hormone inokunceda ekunciphiseni ubuntununtunu kwintlungu engathanga ngqo ngokunciphisa iimvakalelo zoxinzelelo kunye noloyiko.

Inokukunceda uzive ukhuselekile kwaye ukhuselekile

Ukubaluleka koxhumano lomntu akunakunyanzeliswa, kwaye inkxaso yoluntu inika izibonelelo ezininzi. Xa umntu omkhathaleleyo esonga izandla zakhe kuwe xa ekuwola, umzekelo, ungaziva ukhululekile kwaye ungaphantsi wedwa.

Ukuzigona kunokuziphindaphinda kwezi mvakalelo zentuthuzelo kunye nokukhuseleka. Yicinge ngoluhlobo lokuma ngaphakathi de ube unokugona omnye umntu kwakhona.

Udlala eyona ndima ibalulekileyo kwimpilo yakho, kwaye ukuzigona kunokukunceda uzikhumbuze amandla akho. Endaweni yokuba ulinde omnye umntu ukuba akunike inkxaso kwaye uzive ubhetele, ungathatha amanyathelo okuzithuthuzela.

Inokuphucula imeko yakho

Mhlawumbi ubunemini ende okanye uzive ungonwabanga ngaphandle kwesizathu. Mhlawumbi ngekhe uchithe ixesha nabantu obathandayo ngalo mzuzu kwaye ubunzima bokuba wedwa buyakufikelela.

Ukuchukumisa, nkqu nokubamba kwakho, kuyanceda ukukhuthaza ukuphumla kuba amanqanaba e-cortisol (ihormone yoxinzelelo) emzimbeni wakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukwanga akuyi kusombulula iingxaki zakho ngokupheleleyo, kodwa kunokukunceda ukukhulula uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo lwakho.

Ke, kwixa elizayo xa uziva uzolulile, uburhalarhume, okanye udinwe, ukuthatha ixesha lokuwolana ixesha elide kunokunceda ekukhuphuleni umoya kwaye kukhanyise imood yakho.

Inokonyusa uvelwano

Njengokuchukumisa, ukuzisizela kunokunciphisa amanqanaba e-cortisol kunye nokuphucula impilo yonke.

Enye yeendlela zokunyusa uvelwano? Uqikelele: Zinike.

Ngokomphandi ozibonisa imfesane uKristin Neff, i-PhD, ukwanga, ukubetha, kunye nokuthuthuzela umzimba wakho kukonyusa iimvakalelo zothando kunye nokuthantamisa kwisiqu sakho.

Ukuziqhelanisa nokuzenzela kunceda ukuba kube lula ukuzamkela unjalo kwaye uzithobe emva kobunzima okanye iimpazamo. Ngokwandisa ukwamkelwa kwengqondo nokuzithemba, imfesane ngokwakho inokuphucula indlela ojonga ngayo ubomi.

Indlela yokwenza

Ukuba awukwazi ukubona ngokucacileyo indlela yokuzikomba, ungakhathazeki. Inkqubo inokubonakala ingaqhelekanga ekuqaleni, kodwa ilula kakhulu.

Ungayifumana ngokupheleleyo njengoko ubuya kwenza xa ugona omnye umntu, kodwa ukuba ungathanda izikhokelo ezicacileyo, ezi ngcebiso zinokukunceda.

Ukuzanga 101

1. Songa iingalo zakho emzimbeni wakho, uzibeke ngendlela evakalelwa ngokwendalo kwaye ikhululekile. Umzekelo, ukusonga iingalo zakho esiswini sakho okanye ezantsi nje kwesifuba sakho kunokuziva kulula kunokuzisonga esifubeni.
2. Phumla izandla zakho emagxeni okanye kwingalo ephezulu (ngaphezulu nje kwee-biceps zakho). Kwakhona, hamba nezinto oziva zindalo. Ukuba uzigoqa ngapha kwesisu, unokukufumanisa kufanelekile ukugoba izandla zakho emacaleni akho.
3. Khawufane ucinge uhlobo lokuwola olufunayo. Ukuwola ngokuqatha? Okanye ukwanga okuthambileyo, okuthambileyo?
4. Zicudise ngoxinzelelo olwaneleyo ukwenza imvakalelo oyifunayo.
5. Bamba ixesha elide kangangoko ufuna.
6. Abanye abantu bakufumanisa kuthuthuzela ukugungqa ngapha nangapha ngelixa uzigona, ke unokucinga ukuba uzama oku.
7. Ukuba awuziva unganga wena, zama ukuphulula iingalo zakho okanye amagxa aphezulu ngendlela ethomalisayo, efana nokuthanjiswa ngobunono.

Kulungile ngokupheleleyo ukuba uthethe ngokwakho

Amagama ambalwa enkuthazo anokukunceda ufumane izibonelelo ezingakumbi zokuzigona.

Ngelixa uzanga ngokwakho, jolisa kububele, iingcinga zothando, kwaye ubalathise ngaphakathi. Ukugcina imiyalezo elungileyo engqondweni yakho kunokunceda ukuphucula indlela oziva ngayo, kodwa ukuyithetha ngokuvakalayo kunokunyusa amandla abo.

Ukufumana umbono olunge ngakumbi wamabinzana aluncedo, cinga ukuba umntu omthandayo angathini xa ekuwola.

• "Uyakuyenza le nto."
• "Oku akuyi kuhlala ngonaphakade."
• "Unayo le."
• "Ndinebhongo kakhulu ngawe."
• "Unamandla kakhulu."
• "Wenza konke okusemandleni akho."
• "Ndiyakuthandana."

Kungavakala kusisithukuthezi ukuthi uyazithanda, kodwa cinga ngale yeyona ndlela iphambili yokuthetha ngokwakho. Ukuziqhelisa ukuthi "Ndiyakuthanda" ngokwakho kunokunyusa iimvakalelo zokuzixabisa nokuzithemba, ukonyusa ukuzithemba kunye namandla angaphakathi.

Isitshixo kukungavumeli ukugwetywa okanye ukugxekwa kungene. Thatha imizuzwana embalwa yokuzithanda, kunye nokuzithanda kuphela.

Olunye uqeqesho lokuzithanda ukuzama

Ukuzigona akuyiyo kuphela kwendlela onokuzibonisa ngayo uthando. Ukuziqhelanisa nokuzithanda apha ngezantsi kunokunceda ukuphucula imeko yakho kunye nokunyusa imvakalelo yethemba kunye nokuzithemba.

Ukucamngca ngengqondo

Kungathatha ixesha elithile ukungena kumkhwa wokucamngca rhoqo, kodwa xa sele uqalile, uya kuthi uqaphele igalelo kwimpilo-ntle yakho.

Ukucamngca kunokunceda ekunciphiseni uxinzelelo, ukuphucula ukulala kwakho, kunye nokonyusa iimvakalelo ezilungileyo kwabanye abantu nakwisiqu sakho. Inceda ekwandiseni ukuqonda kwakho imeko yakho, iingcinga zakho, kunye nezinto ezenzeka ngeenxa zonke kuwe.

Zama ukucamngca ngobubele bothando ukuthumela uthando kuwe okanye komnye umntu ebomini bakho.

Okanye, yenza ngokukhawuleza ukucamngca komzimba kunokukunceda ungene kumava akho omzimba.

Funda ngakumbi malunga nokucamngca ezahlukeneyo.

Yonwabele indalo

Ukuchitha iiyure ezi-2 veki nganye kwindawo yendalo kunokunceda ukuphucula imeko yomoya kunye nokuphila ngokubanzi, kucebisa.

Utshintsho lwembonakalo yomhlaba lunokuba neenzuzo ezinkulu kwisimo sakho sengqondo, ngakumbi ukuba uchitha ixesha elininzi ekhaya mva nje.

Zama ukutyelela ipaki, ulwandle, ihlathi okanye umlambo. Kuba umthambo unokukunceda ubonise umzimba wakho uthando, phinda-phinda ngokulima okanye ngokuhambahamba.

Ibhonasi: Ubushushu belanga ngamanye amaxesha bungaziva ngathi bunganga.

Yenza isidlo osithandayo

Ukonwabela ukutya okuthandayo kunokunceda ekuveliseni imveliso ye-oxytocin, enokunceda iimvakalelo zokuzithanda zikhule.

Ukutya ukutya okunesondlo akuyona nje indlela yokuzinyanga ngokwakho, nokuba. Inceda ukuba ubonise uthando ngomzimba wakho.

Ukupheka isidlo osithandayo, okanye ukulungiselela into entsha ngokupheleleyo, kunokukunceda ukuzalisa ixesha lasimahla kunye nokuphazamisa kwiingcinga ezingafunekiyo xa uziva uphantsi.

Nje ukuba isidlo sakho silungile, ziqhelanise nokutya okutyiwayo ukunambitha konke ukuluma.

Phila ngenjongo

Ukubeka iinjongo kunokukunceda ukuba uzithande kuba zinokunyusa ukuqonda kwakho injongo ebomini kwaye zikuncede uphile ngakumbi engqondweni.

Injongo ijongeka incinci njengenjongo, kodwa ikhetheke ngakumbi kubomi bakho ngoku.

Umzekelo:

• Ndizimisele ukuziqhelanisa nethemba namhlanje.
• Ndizimisele ukugcina ingqondo evulekileyo.
• Ndizimisele ukuqaphela izinto ezizisa uvuyo kum.

Bhala phantsi iinjongo zakho kwijenali yakho, okanye naphina kwenye indawo - amanqaku kwisipili sakho, ifriji, okanye ibhodi yezibhengezo nayo isebenza kakuhle- kwaye ujonge emva kwabo nanini na xa ufuna ukuziva ugxile ngakumbi.

Umgca wezantsi

Uninzi lwabantu ludinga ukubanjwa okuhle ukuze baphumelele. Ukucofa indlala, okanye ukuhamba ixesha elide, kunokuba negalelo kuxinzelelo, uxinzelelo kunye nolunye uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo.

Akusoloko kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane uqhakamshelwano lomntu onqwenela ngalo, ukuze usonge isilwanyana sasekhaya, uqhagamshele nabantu obathandayo kwincoko yevidiyo, okanye uziqhelanise nohlobo lwakho oluthandayo lokuzikhathalela endaweni yalo.

Ukuzithanda kancinci kunokukunceda, ungoyiki nokuzanga xa ukufuna.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.