Overeaters Anonymous Saved My Life - Kodwa Nasi Isizathu Sokuba Ndiyeke

Umxholo

• Ngenxa yokungaqheleki kwendalo, i-bulimia inokungafunyanwa ixesha elide.
• Ndiyazinkcinkca, ndathintela, ndazicoca ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo endinokuthi ndibuyele etywaleni okanye kwiziyobisi - {textend} baziphazamisa izivamvo zam kwaye bakhonza njengonyango olukhawulezileyo kodwa olukhawulezileyo lwentlungu yam.
• Ukufihla ndaziva ndingoyena mhlobo wam usenyongweni, kodwa kwi-OA, ngequbuliso ndabelana ngamava am afihlakeleyo nabanye abasindileyo kwaye ndimamele amabali afana nelam.
• Kodwa njengoko ndandihlala ubomi obuqhelekileyo kwakhona, imiba ethile kwinkqubo yayiba nzima ukwamkela.
• Ndiza kuhlala ndinombulelo kwi-OA kunye nomxhasi wam ngokundikhupha emngxunyeni omnyama xa ndiziva ngathi akukho ndlela yakuphuma.

Ndiza kubanjiswa kakhulu kwiwebhu ye-obsession kunye nokunyanzelwa kangangokuba ndisoyika ukuba ndingaze ndiphume.

Impilo kunye nokuphila kakuhle kuchaphazela ngamnye wethu ngokwahlukileyo. Eli libali lomntu omnye.

Ndisebenzise la maqebengwana aneswekile ngasemva kwivenkile emva kokutya ukutya okuncinci kwiiveki ezimbalwa. Iimbilini zam zazingcangcazela ngokulindela ukuba i-endorphin surge yayisemlonyeni nje.

Ngamanye amaxesha, "ukuziqeqesha" bekungena, kwaye bendiqhubeka nokuthenga ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa ngumnqweno wokuzinkcinkca ngotywala. Ngamanye amaxesha, andiphumelelanga kangako.

Ingxaki yam yokutya yayingumdaniso ontsonkothileyo phakathi kwesiphithiphithi, iintloni kunye nokuzisola. Umjikelo ongenanceba wokutya okutyayo walandelwa kukuziphatha okunyanzelekileyo njengokuzila ukutya, ukucoca, ukwenza umthambo ngokunyanzelekileyo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukuphatha kakubi laxatives.

Isigulo siqhutyelwa ixesha elide lokuthintela ukutya, okwaqala kwiminyaka yam yeshumi elivisayo kwaye kwachitheka sele ndineminyaka engama-20 ubudala.

Ngenxa yokungaqheleki kwendalo, i-bulimia inokungafunyanwa ixesha elide.

Abantu abasokolayo sesi sifo bahlala “bengakhangeleki begula,” kodwa ukubonakala kunokulahlekisa. Iinkcukacha-manani zisixelela ukuba phantse umntu omnye kwabali-10 bafumana unyango, kwaye ukuzibulala kungoyena nobangela wokufa.

Njengoninzi lwe-bulimics, andikhange ndibandakanye uhlobo lomntu osindayo ekutyeni. Ubunzima bam buye buguquka ekuguleni kwam kodwa ngokubanzi bendijikeleza kuluhlu oluqhelekileyo, ngenxa yoko ubunzima bam bebungabonakali, nokuba bendilamba ngokwam kangangeeveki ngexesha.

Umnqweno wam wawungaze ube lulusu, kodwa ndandinqwenela kakhulu ukuziva ndilawulwa.

Ingxaki yam yokutya ihlala iziva ifana nokuba likhoboka. Ukutya ndandikufihla ezingxoweni nasezipokothweni ukuze ndizimele egumbini lam. Nditsikishe ndaya ekhitshini ebusuku ndaza ndakhupha konke okuqulathwe kwikhabhathi yam nakwifriji ndikwindawo enedemon. Ndatya kwade kwababuhlungu ukuphefumla. Ndicoce ngokungacacanga kwigumbi lokuhlambela, ndavula itompu ukuze ndizifihle izandi.

Ngezinye iintsuku, konke okuye kwathatha yayikukuphambuka okuncinci ukuze kuthetheleleke ukuzinkcinkca ngotywala - {textend} isilayi esongeziweyo sethowusti, izikwere zetshokholethi ezininzi Ngamanye amaxesha, bendizicwangcisa kwangaphambili njengoko bendilungele ukurhoxa, ndingakwazi ukuyinyamezela ingcinga yokufumana olunye usuku ngaphandle kweswekile ephezulu.

Ndiyazinkcinkca, ndathintela, ndazicoca ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo endinokuthi ndibuyele etywaleni okanye kwiziyobisi - {textend} baziphazamisa izivamvo zam kwaye bakhonza njengonyango olukhawulezileyo kodwa olukhawulezileyo lwentlungu yam.

Ngexesha elide, nangona kunjalo, ukunyanzelwa kokutya kakhulu kwakungathi akunakuthintelwa. Emva kokuzinkcinkca ngotywala, ndalwa nomnqweno wokuzenza ndigule, ngelixa uloyiso endilufumene kuthintelo lwalunomlutha ngokulinganayo. Uncedo kunye nokuzisola kwaphantse kwafana.

Ndifumanise i-Overeaters Anonymous (OA) - {textend} inkqubo enamanyathelo ali-12 evulelekileyo kubantu abanesifo sengqondo esinxulumene nokutya - {textend} kwiinyanga ezimbalwa phambi kokuba ndifike kwelona nqanaba lisezantsi, ekudla ngokubhekiswa kulo njenge "rock bottom" ukuchacha.

Kum, lo mzuzu utyhafisayo wayejonge phezulu "iindlela ezingenazintlungu zokuzibulala" njengoko ndandifaka ukutya emlonyeni wam emva kweentsuku ezininzi zokuzinkcinkca ngotywala.

Ndiza kubanjiswa kakhulu kwiwebhu ye-obsession kunye nokunyanzelwa kangangokuba ndisoyika ukuba ndingaze ndiphume.

Emva koko, ndayeka ukuya kwiintlanganiso ngokufuthi ndaya kane okanye kahlanu ngeveki, ngamanye amaxesha ndandihamba iiyure ezininzi ngosuku ukuya kwiikona ezahlukileyo zaseLondon. Ndihleli ndaphefumla i-OA phantse iminyaka emibini.

Iintlanganiso zazindikhupha. Njenge-bulimic, ndandikho kumhlaba amabini: ilizwe lokuzenzisa apho ndibekwe kakuhle kwaye ndiphumelele kakhulu, kwaye enye ibandakanya iindlela zam zokuziphatha ezingalunganga, apho ndaziva ngathi ndihlala ndirhaxwa.

Ukufihla ndaziva ndingoyena mhlobo wam usenyongweni, kodwa kwi-OA, ngequbuliso ndabelana ngamava am afihlakeleyo nabanye abasindileyo kwaye ndimamele amabali afana nelam.

Ngethuba lokuqala ixesha elide, ndaziva ndinento yokunxibelelana nokugula kwam kundithintele iminyaka. Kwintlanganiso yam yesibini, ndadibana nomxhasi wam - {textend} umfazi opholileyo onomonde ongcwele - {textend} owaba ngumcebisi wam kunye nomthombo ophambili wenkxaso kunye nesikhokelo kuyo yonke into ebuyiselweyo.

Ndaye ndazamkela iinxalenye zenkqubo ezazibangela ukuxhathisa, eyona nto yayinzima kukuzithoba kwigunya eliphezulu. Andiqinisekanga ngento endiyikholelwayo okanye ukuba ndingayichaza njani, kodwa ayinamsebenzi. Ndandiguqa ngamadolo yonke imihla ndicela uncedo. Ndathandaza ukuba ndize ekugqibeleni ndizilahle kumthwalo endandiwuthwele ixesha elide.

Kum, kwaba luphawu lokwamkelwa ukuba andinakoyisa ukugula ndedwa, kwaye ndikulungele ukwenza nantoni na ukuze ndenze ngcono.

Ukuziyeka - {textend} umgaqo osisiseko we-OA - {textend} undinike indawo yokukhumbula ukuba kunjani ukuphendula indlala kwaye utye ungaziva unetyala kwakhona. Ndilandele isicwangciso esingaguqukiyo sokutya kathathu ngemini. Ndiyekile kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezinjengomlutha, ndayeka ukutya okubangela ukuzinkcinkca ngotywala. Yonke imihla ngaphandle kokuthintela, ukuzinkcinkca, okanye ukucoca ngesiquphe waziva njengommangaliso.

Kodwa njengoko ndandihlala ubomi obuqhelekileyo kwakhona, imiba ethile kwinkqubo yayiba nzima ukwamkela.

Ngokukodwa, ukungcoliswa kokutya okuthile, kunye nembono yokuba ukuyeka ngokupheleleyo yayikuphela kwendlela yokukhululeka ekutyeni okungalunganga.

Ndeva ukuba abantu abebekade befumana kwakhona amashumi eminyaka bazibhekisa njengeziyobisi. Ndikuqondile ukungafuni kwabo ukucela umngeni kubulumko obusindise ubomi babo, kodwa ndazibuza ukuba ingaba iluncedo kwaye inyanisekile na kum ukuqhubeka nokusekela izigqibo zam kwinto endiziva ngathi ndisoyika- {textend} uloyiko lokuphinda ubuye, uloyiko lwento engaziwayo.

Ndabona ukuba ulawulo lwalusentliziyweni yokubuyisa kwam, kanye njengokuba yayiza kulawula ingxaki yam yokutya.

Ubungqongqo obufanayo obundincedileyo ukuseka ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nokutya kuye kwaba ngumqobo, kwaye uninzi oluphazamisayo, luziva lungahambelani nendlela yokuphila efanelekileyo endandicinga ngayo.

Umxhasi wam wandilumkisa ngesigulo esirhubuluzayo singena ngaphandle kokubambelela ngokungqongqo kwinkqubo, kodwa bendinethemba lokuba ukumodareyitha yeyona ndlela inokusebenza kum kwaye ukubuyela umva ngokupheleleyo kunokwenzeka.

Ke ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyishiye i-OA. Ndayeka ukuya kwiintlanganiso. Ndiqale ukutya ukutya "okungavumelekanga" ngezixa ezincinci. Khange ndilandele umkhombandlela wokutya. Umhlaba wam awuzange uwele kum kwaye andizange ndibuyele kwiipateni ezingasebenziyo, kodwa ndaqala ukusebenzisa izixhobo ezitsha kunye neendlela zokuxhasa indlela yam entsha yokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.

Ndiza kuhlala ndinombulelo kwi-OA kunye nomxhasi wam ngokundikhupha emngxunyeni omnyama xa ndiziva ngathi akukho ndlela yakuphuma.

Indlela emnyama nomhlophe ngokungathandabuzekiyo inamandla ayo. Inokuba ilunge kakhulu ekuthinteleni isimilo, kwaye yandinceda ukuba ndibuyekeze iipateni eziyingozi nezendeleyo, njengokuzinkcinkca ngotywala kunye nokucoca.

Ukuziyeka kunye nokucwangcisela iimeko ezingalindelekanga kunokuba yinto ebalulekileyo yokubuyisela ixesha elide kwabanye, kubenza bakwazi ukugcina iintloko zabo ngaphezulu kwamanzi. Kodwa uhambo lwam lundifundisile ukuba ukuchacha yinkqubo yobuqu ejongeka kwaye isebenza ngokwahlukileyo kuye wonke umntu, kwaye inokuvela ngokwamanqanaba ahlukeneyo ebomini bethu.

Namhlanje, ndiyaqhubeka nokutya ngengqondo.Ndizama ukuhlala ndiziqonda iinjongo zam kunye nokukhuthazwa kwam, kwaye ndicela umngeni kuyo yonke into okanye akukho nto ndicinga ngayo endigcine ndibambeke kumjikelo wokudana ixesha elide.

Iinkalo ezithile zamanyathelo ali-12 asekhona ebomini bam, kubandakanya ukucamngca, ukuthandaza, kunye nokuphila "usuku lube lunye ngexesha." Ngoku ndikhetha ukujongana nentlungu yam ngokuthe ngqo ngonyango kunye nokuzikhathalela, ndiqonda ukuba amandla okuthintela okanye ukuzinkcinkca ngumqondiso wokuba into ayilunganga ngokwasemphefumlweni.

Ndivile "amabali empumelelo" amaninzi malunga ne-OA njengoko ndivile izinto ezimbi, nangona kunjalo, le nkqubo ifumana inani elifanelekileyo lokugxekwa ngenxa yemibuzo malunga nokusebenza kwayo.

I-OA, isebenzele mna, kuba indincedile ukuba ndamkele inkxaso kwabanye xa bendifuna kakhulu, ndidlala indima ebalulekileyo ekoyiseni isigulo esisongela ubomi.

Okwangoku, ukuhamba kude nokwamkela ukungangqinelani kuye kwaba linyathelo elinamandla kuhambo lwam lokuphilisa. Ndifundile ukuba ngamanye amaxesha kubalulekile ukuzithemba ukuqala isahluko esitsha, endaweni yokunyanzelwa ukuba ubambelele kwingxelo engasasebenziyo kwakhona.

UZiba ngumbhali kunye nomphandi waseLondon onemvelaphi kwifilosofi, kwengqondo kunye nempilo yengqondo. Unomdla wokuphelisa ibala elijikeleze ukugula ngengqondo kunye nokwenza uphando ngengqondo lufikeleleke kuluntu. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukukhanya kwenyanga njengemvumi. Fumanisa ngakumbi ngewebhusayithi yakhe kwaye umlandele kwi-Twitter.