ULindsey kunye neTiger: Kutheni abasetyhini abomeleleyo bahlangana namadoda abuthathaka

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

Ungacinga ukuba iimpazamo ezingama-27 zilingana neeflegi ezibomvu ezingama-27 ezinje ngee-alpine ski racer uLindsey Vonn ngobuchule uphepha kwi-slalom enkulu-yokuhlala kude, kude neTiger Woods. Endaweni yokuba uVonn oneminyaka engama-28 ukhethe ukungazihoyi iinyani eziphazamisayo neziphazamisayo, kubandakanya leyo malunga nendlela ahlela ngayo ukuba ifana nomfazi owayesakuba ngumfazi oneminyaka engama-37 ubudala, uElin Nordegren.

Anditsho ukuba ayikho into enje ngamathuba wesibini okanye ukuhlengwa ngokupheleleyo, kodwa phakathi kwezi ndaba kunye nemvumi uRihanna abuyelana kunye nommangaleli uChris Brown, owamhlasela ngo-2009, asinakukwazi ukuzibuza: Yintoni enamandla Abafazi bahendwa ngamadoda angamaqhinga?

"Isizathu sokuba abantu basetyhini bathande ukubambelela kubathandisi abathandekayo, abanjengoTiger Woods kunye noChris Browns behlabathi, kungenxa yokuba bababamba kuthotho lweentsuku ezilungileyo kakhulu," utshilo uRamani Durvasula, Ph.D., wase-LA Isayikholojisti yonyango kunye nomlobi wencwadi entsha Nguwe Kutheni Utya. "Ngenxa yokuba la madoda ahlala ephumelela kakhulu, ayakwazi ukukuphatha kakuhle, kwaye yile ndlela uzifumana ngayo ngokukhawuleza kumntu ophethe i-bastard."

Xa sele ephantsi kopelo lwakhe, aba bafazi sinye bahlala bethanda ukwenza impazamo kwihambo embi efihlakeleyo-efana nobundlobongela, ukuthukwa, kunye nokungathembeki-ngenxa yothando. UDurvasula uthi, "Sisithiyelo esidala kunye nokutshintsha." "Xa aba bafana bevuliwe, bavuliwe, kodwa xa bephumile, libala ngayo."

Abameli bakaMtyholi banokuthi uWoods kunye noVonn zizibini ezigqibeleleyo. Fumana umbhali uChris Jones wade wathumela kwi-tweet ukuba "bangumdlalo owenziwe kwisilogeni sasezulwini." (UWoods uxhaswa nguNike, isilogeni sakhe sithi "Yenza nje," ngelixa uVonn ekunye ne-Under Armour, esebenzisa "Ndiya.") Mhlawumbi into esebenzela aba badlali bezinga eliphezulu kukuba banokusikwa kwi-shiny efanayo. , ilaphu lobuntshatsheli elizimeleyo.

"Uninzi lweembaleki ezikumgangatho ophezulu kufuneka zibe ngama-narcisists ukuze babe nobuganga bokuchasa oko kubonwa ngabaninzi njengento engenabuntu," utshilo uDurvasula. "Amaxesha ngamaxesha, ii-narcissists zenza amaqabane amakhulu kuba zidlala imidlalo efanayo, ke akukho mntu uziva ngathi uyaphoswa." Xa kuziwa kwii-celebs, ngakumbi, nakuphi na ukwazisa kuluntu olululo, ke kukuphumelela-kuwo omabini amaqela, uyongeza. Ngapha koko, njengesibini esinegunya, ukuba kunye nje kongeza nje kwizinto ezintle (mhlawumbi yintoni eyatsala uKim Kardashian kwiKhan West), nto leyo eyenza ulwalamano lube nomtsalane ngakumbi. Yiyo loo nto iinkwenkwezi zemuvi zithandana nezinye iinkwenkwezi zemuvi.

Ngenxa yokuba kulula ukuwela i-jerk-phantse sonke siyayenza ngaxa lithile-nantsi imiqondiso emithathu u-Durvasula acebisa ukuba ujonge ukuthintela ukurhintyelwa ngumlahleki:

1. Uhleli kwilizwe lakhe

Uneenyanga ezimbalwa ungenayo kwaye akakadibani nabahlobo bakho, kodwa ubona abahlobo bakhe ngalo lonke ixesha. Kubonakala ngathi uhlala usitya kwindawo zakhe zokutyela azithandayo. Kwaye xa uqala ukuthetha ngosuku olunzima emsebenzini, akabonakali ngathi uyabandakanyeka. "Nika ingqalelo kwezi zinto kuba zibonisa ukungabikho komdla kuwe kunye nokunqongophala konxibelelwano," utshilo uDurvasula. "Abantu abaninzi bayaphazama ukuba ufuna nje ukuba ube yinxalenye yehlabathi lakhe, kodwa oku kuya kuba yingxaki ekuhambeni kwexesha."

Ngaba uyamthanda okanye uyamshiya? "Nxibelelana kwangethuba, ngaphandle kokuyijika ibe ngumdlalo okhwazayo, ukuba ungathanda ukuba aqhelane nabahlobo bakho kwaye uzame ukutya okuthandayo kwindawo yakho yedolophu," utshilo. "Ukuba ukuzisa akubangeli ukuba enze utshintsho oluncinci, yifowuni yakho yokuvuka."

2. Ufuna ukumtshintsha

Into emnandi kubafazi abaninzi "ndifuna ukumhlangula" kwaye "ndiza kuba yinkosazana yakhe," utshilo uDurvasula. "Bayifumana entlokweni yabo ukuba banokunceda la madoda ukuba atshintshe abe ngcono, kodwa ngaba uyafuna ngenene ukuba kunye nomntu ofuna ukuhlangulwa?"

Ngaba uyamthanda okanye uyamshiya? "Qwalasela unyango ukuba olu budlelwane buthetha lukhulu kuwe, kodwa kungenjalo, phuma esihogweni," uyacebisa. "Abantu banokutshintsha ukuya kwinqanaba kodwa hayi kakhulu njengoko unokucinga."

3. Uziva NjengoGodo lasemnyango

Inye into ukuba ufike kade kwitheko lesidlo sangokuhlwa ngenxa yokuba ebambekile ekugcwaleni, kodwa yenye into ukuba uhlala engxamile okanye azicime izicwangciso zakho ngaphandle kokukunika iintloko. Yintoni eyenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi kukuba awusoze wenze le nto kuye-ubonisa yonke imicimbi yakhe, ehlala ngexesha.

Ngaba uyamthanda okanye uyamshiya? Ukuba ubukhathalele obu budlelwane, kufuneka uthethe into enje, ‘Andiyithandi into yokuba usoloko ufika emva kwexesha,’ utshilo uDurvasula. kwaye umxelele ukuba yenzakalise.Ungalindeli izinto ukuze uzilungise ngokwakho.

Uphengululo lwe