Ungamelana Njani Xa Umntu Wakho Ekhaya Ephila Ngekhoboka

Umxholo

• Ushwankathelo
• Ukuqonda umlutha
• Indlela umlutha onokuthi ulichaphazele ngayo ikhaya
• Iingcebiso ngokuhlala nomntu omthandayo onomlutha
• Iingcebiso ngokuhlala nomntu ekuphulukaneni nomlutha
• Yise kude

Ushwankathelo

Ukuhlala nabanye abantu kuhlala kufuna ulungelelwaniso kunye nokuqonda ukudala ikhaya elikhuselekileyo nelivisisanayo. Xa kuziwa ekuhlaleni nomntu onomlutha, nangona kunjalo, iinjongo ezinjalo zinokuba nzima ngakumbi.

Injongo yokuqala kukuqonda ukuba likhoboka lakho kunye nolwalamano lwakho. Kukwimeko efanayo ukuba umntu omthandayo uyachacha.

Funda ngokufunda ukoyisa imiceli mngeni enokwenzeka xa uhlala nomntu obathandayo benomlutha, kunye nendlela yokubakhathalela- kunye nawe.

Ukuqonda umlutha

Ukuqonda indlela yokuphila nomntu omthandayo onomlutha, kubalulekile ukuba uqale ufunde amandla okuqhuba umlutha ngokwawo.

Umlutha sisifo esidala utshintsho kwingqondo. Kubantu abanomlutha, ii-dopamine receptors ziyasebenza kwaye zixelele ingqondo ukuba iziyobisi ziyimbuyekezo. Ixesha elingaphezulu, ingqondo iyatshintsha kwaye ihlengahlengiso njengoko ixhomekeka kwinto esetyenziswayo.

Ngenxa yotshintsho olubalulekileyo kwingqondo, umlutha uthathwa njengesifo esingapheliyo, okanye sexesha elide. Ukuphazamiseka kunokuba namandla kangangokuba kunokuba nzima kulowo umthandayo ukulawula ukusetyenziswa kwento, nangona bezazi iziphumo zomzimba, ezemvakalelo nezemali ezinxulumene nayo.

Kodwa umlutha uyanyangeka. Ukunyangelwa ngaphakathi kwizigulana kunokuba sisisombululo sexesha elifutshane, ngelixa ingcebiso kunye nokuqeqeshwa kwezempilo kunokuba kukhetho lwexesha elide. Ngexesha lokuchacha, uncedo kunye noxanduva lokuphendula oluvela kubahlobo nakwabathandekayo nabo banokufuneka.

Kubalulekile ukuba ungayithathi imicimbi buqu. Oku kunokubonakala kulula ukuthetha kunokwenza, ngakumbi xa uziva ngathi uzame konke okusemandleni akho ukunyanga esi sifo kulowo umthandayo. Kodwa umlutha ungomnye weemeko ezinzima kakhulu ukulwa nazo. Yeyona ihlala ithatha abantu abaninzi ukunceda ukunyanga, kubandakanya oogqirha, izihlobo, kunye namalungu osapho.

Indlela umlutha onokuthi ulichaphazele ngayo ikhaya

Iziyobisi zichaphazela konke amalungu omzi ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Eminye yale miphumo inokubandakanya:

• unxunguphalo noxinzelelo
• ukudakumba
• ubutyala
• umsindo neentloni
• iingxaki zemali
• Ukungangqinelani kwemithetho, iishedyuli, kunye neendlela
• ingozi yomzimba kunye nokhuseleko (umngcipheko uphezulu ukuba umntu onomlutha ngoku utywala okanye ufuna iziyobisi)

Iingcebiso ngokuhlala nomntu omthandayo onomlutha

Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba awuzange ubangele umlutha. Kananjalo awukwazi ukuyilungisa.

Into onokuyenza kukuthatha amanyathelo ngoku ukuqinisekisa ukhuseleko lwakho kunye nokukhusela impilo yakho.

Ukuba uhlala nomntu omthandayo onomlutha, qaphela ezi ngcebiso zilandelayo:

• Gcina wena nosapho lwakho nikhuselekile. Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba unamalungu osapho asesichengeni ngakumbi, njengabantwana, izalamane ezindala kunye nezilwanyana zasekhaya. Qinisekisa ukuba kukho imigaqo yasekhaya kunye nemida ebekiweyo. Ukuba ukhuseleko luba ngumcimbi, kuya kufuneka ubuze umntu omthandayo ukuba likhoboka lokushiya ikhaya okwexeshana.
• Yiba nesicwangciso sempendulo ukuba imeko iyanda. Oku kunokubandakanya ukugcinwa kwemali evela kubahlobo, usapho, oochwephesha, okanye, kwimeko ezimbi, amapolisa. Abantu abanomlutha kwaye ngokwabo abayingozi. Kodwa ukuba umntu uthe wanxila ngento ethile, banokuba yingozi.
• Ukuthintela ukufikelela kwimali. Umntu wakho omthandayo angenza nantoni na ukuze afumane imali yokuthenga into abayikhobokisayo. Kungangcono ukubasusa nakwezinye iiakhawunti zebhanki kunye namakhadi etyala. Usenokucinga nokuvula iakhawunti entsha yebhanki njengenyathelo lokuthintela.
• Beka imidaNdlu yakho. Misela imigaqo ethile kunye nolindelo. Unokwenza uluhlu. Nika iziphumo ezicacileyo ukuba umntu omthandayo waphula nayiphi na le mida.
• Khuthaza unyango. Thetha nomntu wakho omthandayo malunga nokujonga inkqubo yonyango, ngakumbi ukuba unyango lomntu ngamnye alonelanga ekujonganeni nesi sifo. Oku kunokuza ngendlela yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo, unyango lwengqondo, kunye neengcebiso ngesondlo.
• Ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela. Eli lixesha elinzima kuwe nakwintsapho yakho. Uxinzelelo lunokwenza ukuba kube lula ukungazinanzi iimfuno zakho zempilo. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, zama ukuthatha ixesha elithile kumhla wakho. Zilolonge, yitya ukutya okufanelekileyo, kwaye wenze ixesha lokuphumla ukuqinisekisa impilo-ntle yakho.
• Joyina iqela lenkxaso. Ngokuqinisekileyo awuwedwa. Ngo-2016, ngaphezulu kwesigidi se-20 sabantu abaneminyaka eyi-12 okanye nangaphezulu babenengxaki yokusebenzisa iziyobisi eMelika. Amaqela enkxaso afumaneka ngokubanzi kwi-intanethi kwaye ngobuqu ajongana neemfuno zabo bathanda umntu onomlutha.

Iingcebiso ngokuhlala nomntu ekuphulukaneni nomlutha

Xa umntu omthandayo eshiye ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo okanye eyekile ukwenza iziyobisi ixesha elibalulekileyo, bathathwa njengabantu ababuyayo. Oku kuthetha ukuba basesichengeni sokubuyela umva, ke kubalulekile ukuba uqhubeke nokubonelela ngenkxaso kunye nokwakha ukuthembana ukuze umntu wakho omthandayo eze kuwe ukuba baziva benqwenela ukusebenzisa izinto kwakhona.

Kungathabatha ixesha ukuphinda uthembe umntu omthandayo, ngakumbi ukuba baxokile, babonisa isimilo esiyingozi, okanye bebiwe kuwe. Kuya kufuneka usebenze nonyango ukuze uncede nina niphinde nibe nakho ukuthembana okufuneka kakhulu kubudlelwane benu.

Kwakhona, musa ukoyika ukubuza ngokuthe ngqo umntu omthandayo ukuba baqhuba njani kwisigaba sokubuyisela. Ukubabuza malunga nayiphi na into enokubanceda kunokubanceda bathethe ngeemvakalelo zabo kunokuba banikezele kwiminqweno yabo.

Yise kude

Ukuhlala nomntu onomlutha kunokuba nzima kuye wonke umntu obandakanyekayo. Ngaphandle kokunceda umntu omthandayo ukunyanga umlutha wabo, kubalulekile ukugcina wena kunye nosapho lwakho nikhuselekile. Ngocwangciso oluncinci kunye nokuseta umda, oku kunokufezekiswa.