Ngaba Ngokwenene Uxakekile okanye Ulungile * Ngokwenyani?

Umxholo

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Ngo-Okthobha u-2019, bendinento endinokuyithetha ngokunyanisekileyo yenye yezona zinto zaqhekezayo endakha ndazifumana: Zavela zangaziwa ndawo, ndandinentliziyo ebuhlungu ngokupheleleyo, kwaye ndandingenazo iimpendulo nakowuphi na umothuko endandinawo. Into yokuqala endiyenzileyo? Ndibhukishe iholide, ndasebenza imini yonke, kwaye ndapakisha ubomi bam bentlalontle. Kwezi nyanga zimbalwa zizayo, andiqondi ukuba ndaye ndanamava okuba kwakunjani ukuhlala ndedwa ekhaya. NONQULO: Ndifumene nje uxakekile ebendingazukuyifumana.

Ndiyazi ukuba andindedwa: Ubhubhane wangaphambi kobhubhane, amanani abonisa ukuba abantu baseMelika bebexakeke kakhulu kunanini na ngaphambili, benyuke ngeepesenti ezingama-400 ukusukela ngo-1950. basebenzise zonke iintsuku zabo zeholide, beqokelela irekhodi leentsuku ezingama-768 zezigidi ezingasetyenziswanga ngo-2018. Kodwa nokuba awuzijongi njengohlobo lomsebenzi-holic, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uzigcine uxakekile zezinye izinto ezinjengokuhamba, amadinga, intlalontle ukuphuma, kunye nezinto ezingapheliyo ukuya kwinqanaba apho ukukrola ixesha lakho yinto engazange yenzeke ngaphandle kokuba yayikwishedyuli. Ivakala iqhelekile? Ndacinga njalo.

Ke, xa ubhubhane we-COVID-19 wabetha kwaye iinyosi ezixakekileyo njengawe kwaye sanyanzelwa ukuba sinciphise okanye siyeke ngokupheleleyo, kwabakho uhlobo lokubuza ngokudibeneyo malunga ngoba besimana sibaleka ngathi siyaphambana ngalo lonke ixesha. Ngaba ~ ~ ngokwenene ~ lonto sixakekile, okanye besizama nje ukubaleka iimvakalelo ezingemnandanga ngokwenene?

Ngoku, kwabo basenethamsanqa lokuba basebenze, ukujongisisa umsebenzi kuye kufuneke ngakumbi, kwaye ngeeyure zolonwabo, iiholide, kunye nemitshato imisiwe, ubomi bakho bentlalontle abusekho ukukunika ikhefu.

"Iyantlukwano emiselweyo phakathi komsebenzi kunye nomdlalo imfiliba ngakumbi ngoku nge-WFH kwaye uhlala ufumana iindaba," ucacisa ugqirha wengqondo uMat Lundquist. "Abantu abahluli phakathi kokuba umsebenzi uphela kwaye uqala, kwaye ngenxa yokuba bengafumani ntuthuzelo kubudlelwane babo obusondeleyo kunye nobomi bentlalontle, baziphosa ngakumbi kweminye imikhwa efana nomsebenzi kunye nokuzilolonga." Phambi kobhubhane, sihlala sisebenzisa ubomi bethu bezentlalo kunye neeshedyuli ukunqanda iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo, kwaye ngoku, kubonakala ngathi siyazinyanzela ukuba sihlale sixakekile ngezinye iindlela zokuhlangabezana nazo.

Ngokwe-Cigna's 2020 Loneliness Index, kuvavanyo lwesizwe oluvavanya iimvakalelo zokuziva ulilolo kulo lonke elase-US, iipesenti ezingama-61 zabo bonke abantu abadala abasebenzayo (nangaluphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane) baxela ukuba baziva bekwanti, nto leyo inyuke ukusuka kwiipesenti ezili-12 kuphela ngo-2018. Ukudityaniswa kwendyikityha ye-coronavirus esusa iziphazamiso eziqhelekileyo kuthetha ukuba ezi mvakalelo zodwa zinokuba nzima kakhulu.

"Kuyinyani ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba i-intanethi idale indlela yokuba sisebenze ngalo lonke ixesha," utshilo uRachel Wright, uL.M.F.T. "Kodwa sikwabona utshintsho olukhulu kwindlela esibona ngayo ukuba sisondelene, nabantu abaninzi besoyika ubudlelwane babo okanye inyani yokuba abanayo eyokuba basebenze okanye bafumane ezinye izinto zokuzonwabisa ukwenzela ukuthintela ezo mvakalelo zingonwabanga. " Eyona nto iphambili kuko konke, ke ngoko, yimvakalelo enzulu yobulolo. Mhlawumbi akunamntu ubalulekileyo okanye inkqubo yokuxhasa esondeleleneyo yosapho okanye izihlobo oziva uxhomekeke kuzo, kodwa obu buthukuthezi bunokuchaphazela nabani na, nkqu nabo bakubudlelwane obuzibophelele. Mhlawumbi iqabane lakho kunye nawe unqanyuliwe ngoko, nangona ukufutshane kunye nesimo sobudlelwane, usaziva ngathi awuviwa okanye awubonwa.

Ngaphambi kobhubhane, okanye uyazi, ngekhe uxakeke njengoko ucinga, utshilo uWright. Endaweni yoko, ngenene udala nje amathuba okuxakekisa ukuze ungabinalo ixesha lokucinga ngenene malunga nesizungu okanye nayiphi na imvakalelo oziva ungonwabanga ukuhlala nayo okanye ukuyamkela. Kulula ukuziphazamisa kwiindawo zobomi bakho apho ucinga ukuba "usilele," nokuba lolwalamano oluphele nje, ukungakhuthazwa emsebenzini, ubuhlobo obunetyhefu, okanye imiba yokuzithemba nokuzithemba. "Yindlela elula yokungahoyi iimvakalelo ezinzulu zokungafaneleki," utsho uWright. "Nangona kunjalo, into abantu abangayiqondiyo ukuphosa into enye ebomini bakho ayizukutshintsha umphumo kwindawo yobomi bakho oyiphephayo."

Cinga ngako: Ukuba ukhathazeka ngokuba wedwa kuba nguwe wedwa kwiqela labahlobo bakho, kulula ukuziphosa emsebenzini ukuze ungacingi ngako. Okanye ukuba ukhathazeke ngokwenene ngento yokuba ubudlelwane bakho busematyeni kwaye unxibelelana ngayo ayonwabisi, ngokulula ungagcina Ukusondeza nabahlobo okanye uthathe inja okwangoku enye hamba ukuze ulale ugoduke kade kakhulu ukuba ungathetha ngayo. "Abantu bakhona, kodwa abekho ngokwenene Pha"Bangacinga ukuziphosa kwezinye iinkalo zobomi babo kuya kunceda ukulungisa imiba abanayo nabahlobo kunye nabanye ababalulekileyo, kodwa le ndlela yokuphepha ibangela iingxaki ngakumbi kunokuba iyalungisa." kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba "ukuxakeka kunika imvakalelo yokuzingca," utsho. "Kulula kakhulu ukugxila kwinto uluntu olukubeke kuyo ukuba ukholelwe ukuba yenza uphumelele, ngokuchasene nokugxila kubudlelwane bakho obusondeleyo."

Okwangoku, ngexesha lobhubhane, abantu abaninzi bahlala kunye nabanye abalulekileyo kwaye kubangela umlo ongaphezulu kunokuba bekulindelwe, okanye banesithukuthezi kunakuqala ngaphandle kokukwazi ukuxhoma kunye nabahlobo okanye ukuya kwimihla ye-IRL. Ke ngoku wenzantoni? Usebenza, ulungelelanise ama-closets akho, okanye uchithe iiyure usenza ukutya okucokisekileyo ekhitshini - ngokusisiseko, wenza nantoni na onokuyenza ukuze uhlale "uxakekile."

Nangona kunjalo, "ezi mvakalelo ziya kuthi gqi ngendlela embi kamva, kwaye uyakudinwa ngokweemvakalelo nasemzimbeni, awuzokwazi ukuba uziphathe njani," utshilo uWright. Oku kunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo xa ungumntu obesoloko ephepha indlela oziva ngayo, kodwa ukunxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yenkqubo, kwaye ngoku, unalo ixesha lokuhlala kunye neemvakalelo zesithukuthezi enkosi Ukuzahlula ngenkani, utshilo uWright. Unokushicilela, ucamngce, ube neencoko ezingathandekiyo, kwaye uhlale kunye neemvakalelo zakho ngendlela ongazange (okanye ngokunyanisekileyo,) ngaphambili.

UWright ukwakhuthaza ukuphilisa iinkolelo ezingundoqo emva koloyiko lwenyani ~imvakalelo, ~, kakuhle, iimvakalelo zakho. Emva kwayo yonke imvakalelo into ekwi-subconscious. "Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba uya kuhlala wedwa, hlala kunye naloo mvakalelo - ngaba kungenxa yokuba i-ex yathi kuwe ngexesha elithile? Ngaba ucinga ukuba bonke ubudlelwane bakho buphelile kakubi kwaye liphutha lakho?" Icacisa iWright. "Inkolelo yinto nje ocinga ukuba uhlala ucinga, kwaye eyona nto iphambili kukuyiprinta kwakhona loo nkolelo kwaye ufumane iindlela ezintsha zokuphendula kwiimeko ezikungqongileyo." Oku kunokuvakala kunzima kakhulu, kodwa imbuyekezo iwufanele umceli mngeni. (Idibeneyo: Uza kujola njani na ngeXesha lokuQiniswa [okanye ngokunyaniseka nanini na)

Ngubani owaziyo? Usenokude uqonde, ngalo mzamo wokuhambahamba kwindawo yam yeemvakalelo, ukuba abantu abathile, imisebenzi, okanye izinto ozithandayo azikusebenzi. "Ukuba ubudlelwane abukho kuwe, okanye ukuba uyaqonda ukuba isithukuthezi sakho sibangelwa nje ukufuna ukuthatha ixesha lokulungisa ubuhlobo bakho kunye nemiba yobudlelwane, ngaba awufuni ukwazi ngoku kunokuba kamva?" Utsho uWright. "Into malunga neemvakalelo baziva besoyikeka, kodwa xa uthabathe ixesha lokuziqonda kwaye uzixabise, banokuveza okuninzi ngawe."

"Sikwafuna ukuba nemfesane ngakumbi nesiqu sethu," utsho uLundquist. "Ukuhlala neemvakalelo kunokoyikisa ngokwenene kwabanye abantu - njengokuzibuza ukuba yintoni abayifunayo ngosuku, nokuba kukubaleka epakini, intlalontle, okanye ixesha nje lodwa. Siye saziphepha iimvakalelo zethu ixesha elide kangangokuba run on autopilot, kwaye sukuvuma indlela esivakalelwa ngayo- endaweni yoko, senza into esicinga ukuba siyayenza kufanele senze, kunokuba senze funa ukwenza. "Ngokujolisa kwangaphandle kunangaphandle, uziva ulilolo kunakuqala, nokuba nguwe wedwa obeka ulindelo oluphezulu kangaka kuwe. Ngapha koko, akukho mntu ukuxelele ukuba kufuneka uzilolonge iintsuku ezintandathu ngeveki -Uyenzile-kwaye unako ukutshintsha loo ngxelo nanini na ufuna.

Sebenzisa umsebenzi, ukuzilolonga, ukuhamba, okanye incoko yenqanaba lomphezulu kwindawo enabantu abaninzi (pre-COVID) njenge crutch ukunqanda ukuba zeziphi ezinye izinto ezinokuza kuwe kunokuba lula ukubuyela kuzo, kwaye ekuphela kwendlela yokwaphula ezi patheni kukuziqonda. “Kungayoyikisa ukujongana nezi zinto, kodwa umvuzo mkhulu,” utshilo uLundquist. "Kuyakukhokelela kubomi obonwabileyo, obunelisekayo ekupheleni kosuku."

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