Yintoni 'Uthando oluyimfama' enokukufundisa malunga nolwalamano lwakho ne-IRL

Umxholo

• 1. Unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo lubalulekile ... kodwa kunjalo nangomtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni.
• 2. Ukwabelana ngesondo yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobudlelwane bothando.
• 3. Ukunyaniseka kwangaphambili KUHLALE kuyindlela yokuhamba.
• 4. Senza imicimbi yethu emininzi kubudlelwane.
• Uphengululo lwe

Masinyaniseke, uninzi lweenkqubo zokwenyani zikamabonakude zisifundisa ntoni hayi ukwenza kobethu ubomi. Kulula kakhulu ukuhlala kwiipijama ezintle kunye nemaskiti, ubukele umntu ekhubeka kwingxoxo kwaye ucinge, 'Andisoze ndiyenze loo nto'. Kodwa, kwinyani, i-TV yokwenyani yinyani ephuculweyo, inguqulelo yesitya-petri sobomi bethu. (Yaye inokukwenza uzive unovelwano ngakumbi kwabanye.)

Ngaba iyaveliswa? Ewe. Ngaba iseyinyani kwaye iyabuyiseka? Ewe. Ngaphandle koko, besingayi kuyibukela.

Sizibona thina, abahlobo bethu, usapho, kunye namaqabane ebantwini okanye abalinganiswa kwizikrini zeTV. Ke, ngeli lixa, uqinisekile ukuba le "TV yenkunkuma" "luyolo olunetyala" -ukwenza okona kulungileyo, ungaphinda uyishiye ibhedi yakho ilumke kancinci kunaxa uphole phantsi ukuba ufuna ngokwenene.

Makhe siqwalasele umboniso weTV owaziwayo ngokubanzi weNetflix, Uthando aluboni. Umboniso uqala ngeqela lamadoda angatshatanga kunye nabasetyhini abathandanayo abathandanayo kwi "pods" -ngazange babonane kwaye bave ilizwi kuphela kwelinye icala, ngenjongo yokumisela uxhulumaniso olusekelwe kwincoko, ukuthatha umtsalane kunye ne-chemistry ngaphandle yenxaki (ubuncinci ekuqaleni).

Umboniso ubeka umbuzo othi, "Ngaba uthando luyimfama?" Ukucela abathathi-nxaxheba ukuba banciphise abo banonxibelelwano olomeleleyo kunye nabo ukuze ekugqibeleni bakhethe umntu abe mnye, bathandane bengaboni, emva koko bakhuphe isindululo sanaphakade okanye bamkele esinye. Ewe cebisa umtshato ... ngodonga! Nje ukuba abakhuphisana babandakanyeke ekugqibeleni banokubonana kwaye banxibelelane omnye nomnye.

Andizukuxoka: Xa ndisiva esi siseko, ndakhupha amehlo am. Kwavakala ngathi Utshatile Ekuboneni Okokuqala idibana ISidanga idibana Ubhuti omkhulu. Nangona kunjalo, kuba ndingumbambisene we-Bachelor franchise recap podcast kunye nengcali yobudlelwane, abantu abaninzi baqala ukundibhalela bebuza malunga. Uthando aluboni.

"Ucinga ntoni ngokuziphatha kukaGiannina ngakuDamian?"

"Yima, ucinga ukuba uCarlton wayisingatha njani loo meko?"

"Ngaba ucinga ukuba uJessica wayekhe wanemvakalelo enamandla ngoMark?

Ndikhawuleze ndanomdla. (Umboniso omtsha weNetflix kaGwyneth Paltrow ushukumisa imbiza, naye.)

Ke, usenokuba uyazibuza ukuba ungafunda ntoni na kumboniso onale ndawo intle kangaka yokwazisa ngobomi bakho bokwenyani. Impendulo? Kancinci, eneneni. Nazi izifundo ezine wonke umntu anokuzifunda malunga nobudlelwane Uthando aluboni:

1. Unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo lubalulekile ... kodwa kunjalo nangomtsalane ngokwasemzimbeni.

Ukususela ekuqaleni, Uthando aluboni Isibini, uKelly Chase kunye noKenny Barnes, babenonxibelelwano oluqinileyo lwengqondo, kodwa bakuba bengenile kummandla wenyama, uKelly uthe uKenny waziva ngathi umntakwabo kuneqabane lesondo. Oku kwamnqanda ekubeni ahlole nabuphi na ubudlelwane bezesondo naye, ngelishwa.

Umbuzo omnye umboniso ubuza kaninzi- "Ngaba uthando luyimfama?" - kubalulekile ukuba uqwalaselwe. IRL, sizibuza lo mbuzo nathi, ivakala ngokwahlukileyo kancinci. "Yeyiphi eyona nto ibalulekileyo: unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo okanye unxibelelwano lomzimba?" okanye "Ngaba kungcono ukuba ube nonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kwaye emva koko wakhe umzimba okanye uqale ngoqhagamshelwano lomzimba kunye nokwakha isiqwenga seemvakalelo?"

Ngokufanelekileyo, kukho zombini; Unomdla kwinkangeleko yomntu, ubuntu bakhe, kwaye unemichiza yesini onokwakhela kuyo. Kodwa, kuthekani ukuba enye yezo zinto ilahlekile? Ungathini ukuba ubuthanda nyhani ubuntu bomntu, kodwa awunayo * yintlantsi *? (Idibeneyo: Izinto ezi-5 Wonke umntu kufuneka azi malunga nezesondo kunye nokuthandana, ngokweNzululwazi yezoBudlelwane)

Ngelixa, akufuneki uzive unyanzelekile ukuba wenze nantoni na ongafuniyo ukuyenza okanye ongaziva ukhululekile, njengonyango lwezesondo, ndingacebisa kakhulu ukuba ndihlolisise indlela unxibelelwano lomzimba / ngokwesondo onokuziva ngayo ngaphambi kokuthatha isigqibo sokuba ayisiyiyo kunokwenzeka. Kweminye, oku kunokuthetha ukuba neentlobano zesini ukuze ubone indlela evakalelwa ngayo kwinqanaba lomzimba nangokweemvakalelo nakwabanye, oku kunokuthetha ngokujonga nje ukusondelelana kwincoko okanye ukubamba. Ungatsho njani ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba akukho nxibelelwano lwasemzimbeni xa kungekho thuba linikiweyo lokuphuhlisa olunye?

2. Ukwabelana ngesondo yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobudlelwane bothando.

Umahluko phakathi kwesibini esine-chemistry yesondo ekhawulezileyo kunye nengaboniswanga ngokugqibeleleyo Uthando aluboni izibini uMat Barnett (owaziwa ngokuba nguBarnett) kunye no-Amber Pike ngokuchasene noKelly noKenny okhankanywe ngasentla.

Phantse kwangoko, uBarnett no-Amber batsalwa kunye ngokwasemzimbeni, kunzima ukuba bagcine izandla zabo omnye komnye. Oku, ngokuqinisekileyo, kuguga ukuya kwinqanaba elithile njengoko ixesha lihamba, kodwa linika isiseko sexesha elide, elimnandi, kunye nobomi besondo obunomdla (ukuba nje kukho unxibelelwano oluhle).

Abanye abantu bakholelwa ukuba ukuba unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo lukhona, isini siyakusebenza apho. Ayisiyonyani leyo. Abanye abantu ngokwenyani abahambelani ngesondo.

Kodwa musa ukothuka! Uninzi lweengxaki zobudlelwane zingasonjululwa ngonxibelelwano oluhle kwaye mhlawumbi ngoncedo lwengcali yezesondo. Ngelixa kwiimeko ezinqabileyo unokuba ulwalamano nesidalwa seqabane lakho, ngesiqhelo ubuninzi bezinye izinto ezenza ukuba uhambe kwiminqweno yakho (okanye ukusilela kwayo) kube ngumceli mngeni.

Cinga: iyantlukwano kwi-libido, unxibelelwano olubi, ukhetho olwahlukileyo kunye nemibono malunga nokuba yintoni eyenza ubomi "bobulungileyo" ngokwesondo. Indlela efanelekileyo yokulwa nazo zonke ezi zinto kukufunda indlela yokunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ufunde umzimba wakho kunye neminqweno. Kulucelomngeni ngenene ekunxibelelaneni nezinto ozifunayo kunye nezinto ozithandayo xa ungazi nokuba uphendule ntoni.

Ukwabelana ngesondo akuyiyo yonke into, kodwa yinxalenye enkulu yayo nayiphi na into yokuthandana. Ungathandana nomntu ngokupheleleyo, ube nesondo esiphakathi kwaye usebenzele ekubeni ube nengqondo. Kuthatha nje umgudu, kumacala omabini abantu-kunye nokuzinikela ekwenzeni oko kusebenzisana.

3. Ukunyaniseka kwangaphambili KUHLALE kuyindlela yokuhamba.

Uthando aluboni isibini uCarlton Morton kunye neDayimane Jack bayibetha ngoko nangoko kwiipods. UCarlton wacebisa uDiamon ngexa bekwimidumba, wamkela, kodwa bathi bakufika kwiholide yabo yetropiki 'kwilizwe lokwenyani', uCartlon wavuma kumlingane wakhe omtsha ukuba ulala nabantu ababini emva isindululo, akunjalo?

UCarlton uqhubeka nokuchaza ukuba unqatshelwe ngabafazi ngaphambili emva kokwabelana ukuba uye walala naye kwaye utsala umdla wamadoda nabasetyhini. Ngelishwa, xa ephula ezi ndaba, iDiamond akaziphathi kakuhle iindaba. Uye wathetha ngento anokuyenza ngokwahlukileyo, ebalisa Abantu, "Ndingayitshintsha indlela yayo. Ndizama ukuqonda kakhulu, kodwa bendinemibuzo kuba andikaze ndihlale nomntu oyindoda."

Isifundo apha kukubeka onke amakhadi akho etafileni. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngoCarlton ukuba ulala nabantu ababini. Yintoni ephosakeleyo ngokubamba ulwazi olubalulekileyo malunga nawe kwaye ucebise ngokuchitha ubomi nomntu ngaphandle kokubanika ithuba lokwazi ukugqibelela.

Kwilizwe lokwenyani, oku kunokuba kukushiya ulwazi olubalulekileyo malunga nokuziphatha kwakho ngokwesondo, ukubandakanyeka kwezopolitiko, amatyala, imicimbi yosapho, iminqweno yesini okanye iikhinki ... ayinamsebenzi nesihloko, yinyani-ixesha.

Nokuba udibana nepod kwiseti yenyani yenkqubo yeTV, ebharini, okanye kwi-app yokuthandana, ukunyaniseka kuhlala kungowona mgaqo-nkqubo ungcono. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uxelele iqabane lakho yonke into malunga nawe kwimizuzu engama-30 yokuqala, kodwa oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka unyaniseke malunga nokuba ungubani kwaye yintoni oyifunayo ngokukhawuleza kunokuba kamva. Ngaba ungathanda ukufumana ngomhla wakho wesithathu endaweni yowesithathu unyaka ukuba awuvumelanisi njengoko ubucinga?

4. Senza imicimbi yethu emininzi kubudlelwane.

Uthando aluboniU-Jessica Batten noMark Anthony Cuevas bawela ngokukhawuleza kwiipods, nangona uJessica wayenemvakalelo ngoBarnett, owaphela no-Amber. Omnye wemixholo ephambili yobudlelwane bukaJessica noMark yayingumsantsa weminyaka eli-10 ubudala awayengawuboni uJessica.

Yayingumzekelo weencwadi zokudala umba kubudlelwane kunye nokugxeka abanye abantu. Kwakucace gca ukuba uJessica wayengakhululekanga kwinto yokuba kukho ishumi leminyaka phakathi kwemihla yabo yokuzalwa. Nangona kunjalo, endaweni yokuba athethe kakhulu kwaye athethe noMarko, uqhubeke nokubetha indlela abanye abaya kulujonga ngayo ubudlelwane babo endaweni yokuba nokungazithembi ngayo. Elixhala yile (isilumkiso somonakalisi!) Ekugqibeleni kukhokelele ekuphelisweni kobudlelwane babo ... esibingelelweni, akukho ngaphantsi.

Ukuba ubona umntu omncinci, thetha ngomahluko weminyaka kunye. Thetha ngendlela umsantsa onokuluchaphazela ngayo ngoku nakwixesha elizayo. Thetha malunga neenkxalabo zabanye abantu ezisekelwe kwiingcamango eziphosakeleyo zoluntu kunye nendlela ofuna ukuyilungisa ngayo kunye.

Singayila imiba engekhoyo xa singonwabanga okanye singaqinisekanga ukuba sifuna ukuba kubudlelwane. UJessica wayesebenzisa lo mahluko weminyaka njengobungqina bokuba ubudlelwane babo abuyi kusebenza, kunokuba athi mhlawumbi akazange amfumane enomtsalane, wayengonwabanga, okanye wayengakulungelanga ukuzibophelela.

Uphengululo lwe