Umzuzu obalulekileyo: Ngaba ndiyazinza kubudlelwane?

Umxholo

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Uninzi lwabantu luya kukuxelela ukuba ukuba sele uzibuza, "Ngaba ndiyalungisa?" ngoko u-kwaye akufanelekanga. Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni ukuba umbono owubekele iqabane lakho awunakwenzeka okanye uphelelwe lixesha? (Mhlawumbi uye wadibanisa ifantasy malunga Prince Charming njengoko intombazana encinane kunye intshontsho Flicks yongeze amafutha emlilweni.) Ngezantsi, iindlela ezintlanu ukudiliza indoda yakho iphupha, khangela ngokwakho-kwaye uqinisekise ukuba ubudlelwane bakho a a. kufanelekile.

1. Fowunela umhlobo: Yiba nencoko kunye nezintombi zakho-ezinethemba lokuba neembono ezahlukileyo-kwaye ubone ukuba yeyiphi impendulo oyifumanayo kumfana wakho. Abahlobo bakho bazi kakuhle-kwaye banembono semi-njongo kumfana ebomini bakho. Ukuba banyanisekile kuwe, uya kuba nakho ukufumana iimbono ezimbalwa ezahlukeneyo malunga noko abanye bakubona kubudlelwane bakho. Ngaba iingcinga zabo zibonisa ezakho? Uyothuswa yinto abayithethayo?

2. Thatha ilizwi likamama ngokhozo lwetyuwa: Qiniseka ukuba amathandabuzo akho malunga nokulungisa awaphumi kusapho lwakho. Kumnandi umama wakho ucinga ukuba kufuneka uzabalazele ukuba yindoda egqibeleleyo kuba uyintombazana egqibeleleyo ngokwakho (ahem), kodwa mhlawumbi into ekwenza wonwabe yahlukile. Engqondweni yakhe, unokuba uzinzile, kodwa kweyakho, wenza okulungileyo kuwe-kwaye kulungile. Emva kwakho konke, utata wakho akafezekanga, kodwa unokugqibelela kumama wakho, akunjalo?

3. Musa ukuvumela uloyiko lukwenze: Ungaze ukhethe indoda kuba usoyika ukuba wedwa. Amabhinqa amaninzi atshatileyo yaye alilolo kakhulu. Enyanisweni, abafazi abangatshatanga abonwabileyo bahlala ixesha elide kunaye nabani na. Uphando lubonisa ukuba umtshato, kubasetyhini abaninzi, uthetha iiyure ezininzi zomsebenzi wasekhaya kunye nobomi obufutshane. Ke sukucinga ukuba kufuneka ube nedolo. Khupha phezulu Abakhethiweyo ngu-Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., ukuba ufuna uphando oluthe kratya kunye nobungqina obunzima malunga nokuba kutheni i-singledom ingekho mbi kwaphela.

4. Yenza okusebenzayo: Qiniseka ukuba awenzi kwanto ngokungxama kwiinyanga zokuqala ezimbalwa zothando lwe-dopamine. Ukuvumela ubudlelwane bakho ukuba bukhule ngexesha elifanelekileyo kukuvumela ukuba ufunde ngakumbi nangakumbi malunga nomntu onaye endaweni yokungxamela kwinto esekwe kwiiveki zokuqala ezishushu nezinzima.

5. Dlala ngeemvakalelo zakho: Zama eli qhinga. Flip ingqekembe-iintloko ukuze umgcine, imisila ukuze uhlale ujonge, uze ujike. Ngena ngokwenene ngeli xesha, ngokungathi le yeyona nto ithatha isigqibo ngomtshato wakho (kuba "de sahlulwe kukufa"!) Ngoku jonga. Unikwe into ethethwa yile ngqekembe, ngaba isisu sakho siyatshona okanye intliziyo iyahamba, ngendlela elungileyo? Ngoku kubalulekile ukuba ulwazi lwenzululwazi luhlafune.

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