Aba bafazi baYamkela isiQendu sabo kwiNtshukumo "engaphezulu kobude bam"

Umxholo

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U-Amy Rosenthal no-Alli Black ngoodade ababini abayiqondayo yonke imiqolomba enokuza nokuba ngumfazi "omde". U-Alli u-5 iinyawo ze-intshi ezili-10 kwaye uhlala ezama ukufumana imfashini, iimpahla ezifanelekileyo. Akaze abe nakho ukuthenga kwiivenkile ezikhethekileyo ezikhethekileyo kuba ezo zinto bezikhetha ukuba njalo naye ixesha elide.

U-Amy, kwelinye icala, uneseti yakhe yomzabalazo. "Ndinentloni zi-6 iinyawo ezi-4 i-intshi, ke ukuthenga kuye kuhlala kunzima kum," uxelela Ubume. "Ngokunyaniseka, bonke ubomi bam bokukhula babuzele ziinkumbulo ezibuhlungu ezandenza ndaziva ndizithembile ngobude bam, njengaxa ndandikwisikolo samabanga aphakathi xa ndafumanisa ukuba kufanelekile ukuba ndinxibe iikhaki zamadoda kwikonsathi yeqela lam ngoba akukho nto iyenye eyakulunga . Ndaye ndaxakeka ngokupheleleyo kwigumbi lokunxiba kwaye ndikhumbula ukuba ndiziva ndingakhululekanga kulusu lwam.

Amava abo, kunye nokuqonda ukuba umhlaba wefashoni awutyi kubafazi abade abakwimilinganiselo eyahlukeneyo, kukhokelele ekubeni oodade bazisungulele ivenkile yabo ebizwa ngokuba yiAmalli Talli ngo-2014. ngobude kwaye iza kwiintlobo ezahlukeneyo zeemilo, ubukhulu, kunye nobungakanani," utshilo u-Alli. "Ke besifuna ukusebenza kunye ukuvala umsantsa ophakathi kobukhulu obude obufumaneka kwiivenkile zemihla ngemihla kunye nezinto eziziswa etafileni ziivenkile ezikhethekileyo ezinde." (Eyeleleneyo: Kutheni iNtengiso enoMzimba iNgasoloko iYile nto Ibonakala ngayo)

Kule minyaka mine idlulileyo, ishishini lika-Alli kunye no-Amy lichume, kodwa ngelixa bezama ukubandakanywa ngakumbi kwabasetyhini abade kwindawo yempahla, baziva benomnqweno wokwenza okungakumbi emva kwamava aphazamisayo omzimba. "Kunyaka ophelileyo, ngelixa ndandisebenza eNew York, indoda yaya kum no-Amy kwintlanganiso yeengcali yathi, 'Unjani ubude beenyawo ezisixhenxe?' phezulu ngokwaneleyo ukuba wonke umntu eve xa kwangaxeshanye esihleka, utshilo u-Alli. "Yinto ayenzileyo amaxesha amaninzi, isenza ukuba sizive singakhululekanga kwaye sineentloni."

Ke, oodade bagqibe kwelokuba babhale iposti yebhlog malunga namava akwiwebhusayithi ka-Amalli Talli ukuze babelane ngendlela nangona bekhululekile kwaye bezithembile ngobude babo, iimeko ezilolo hlobo zisenokukuchaphazela ngokwenene ukuzithemba kwakho.

"Zininzi izinto ezothusayo ezinxulunyaniswa nabasetyhini abade," utsho uAmy. "Kwabaqalayo, kucingelwa ukuba yinto yamadoda kakhulu. Amakhwenkwe akhuliswa ukuba abe makhulu kwaye omelele, ngelixa amantombazana afanele ukuba ahle kwaye abe mncinci. Sesinye sezizathu zokuba abafazi abade bazibone befumana inkangeleko, ukujonga, kunye nezimvo. Ukuba mde kakhulu njengowasetyhini kuhlala kucingwa njengokungaqhelekanga."

Okumangalisayo kukuba, abasetyhini abavela kwihlabathi liphela baqale ukufikelela koodade, besabelana ngendlela abanxibelelana ngayo namava abo kwaye banethemba lokuba bazakuthetha ngakumbi ngale micimbi abajamelana nayo abafazi abade. Yile ndlela ezalwa ngayo intshukumo yobude bam.

“Ngenxa yengxelo engakholelekiyo esiyifumeneyo, sivakalelwa kukuba le yinto ekufuneka ibe yeyayo,” utshilo u-Alli. "Uninzi lwabafazi abade banzima ukuziva bengamabhinqa kwaye saziva ukuba ukuqala intshukumo ebanceda baziva bexhaswa kunokubanceda boyise lo mvakalelo."

Nangona iimpumlo ezinkulu, amanqatha ekhwapha, kunye nolusu oluxengaxengayo zonke ziye zaqatshelwa njengenxalenye yokuzithanda, ukutyhala umzimba, u-Alli no-Amy baqonda ukuba ukuphakama akukhange kubekho ndawo ifanelekileyo kwindawo ekujongwe kuyo. "Zininzi iibhlog zethu phaya ezijolise kwimfashini ende, utshilo u-Amy. "Kodwa ngokwenene kwakungekho nto malunga nokuba ubude bunokuba ngumthombo wokuziva njani kubasetyhini kunye nendlela abanye abantu abacinga ngayo kabini ngaphambi kokuba baphawule ngayo okanye bayibonise, enokuthi ibe yingozi kumfanekiso womzimba."

UAli uzibonisile ezi mvakalelo. "Uninzi lwezinto endizifundileyo xa kuziwa kumzimba womzimba zigxile kakhulu kubunzima-nto leyo ibaluleke kakhulu kwaye yinto abantu abaninzi ababhinqileyo abanxibelelana ngayo-kodwa ubude bakho yinto ongenakuze uyitshintshe," utshilo. "Nokuba wenza ntoni na, uya kuhlala umde. Ngoko ke kubafazi abanjalo zi Ukungakhululeki ngokuba mde, sasifuna ukwenza indawo ebenza bazi ukuba ababodwa kwaye kuninzi kakhulu kubo kunobude babo. " Mna)

Kanye nokudala uluntu oluxhasayo lwabasetyhini abade, u-Alli no-Amy bafuna ukufundisa abantu malunga nendlela, njengobunzima, ubude bomntu ayisiyonto omele uphawule ngayo. “Kubalulekile ukuba sifunde ukukhumbula amazwi ethu,” utsho uAmy. "Awukwazi nje ukuba yintoni umntu ongakhuselekanga ngayo. Ngokumbiza kwaye utsalele ingqalelo kuye, unokubenza bazive bexhalabile ngakumbi kunokuba sele besenza."

Ekupheleni kosuku, ngaphezulu kobude bam kukunceda abasetyhini baqonde ukuba baninzi kakhulu kunoko bakubonayo esipilini. "Ngelixa sifuna ukunceda abantu basetyhini ukuba babamkele ukuphakama kwabo kwaye bazive bezithembile, sikwafuna ukubanceda ukuba baqonde ukuba kuninzi kakhulu abanokukunika," utshilo u-Alli. "Zininzi iimpawu ezibonakalayo ezenza ukuba singobani, kodwa zizakhono onokuthi unikeze ihlabathi elikuchaza ngokwenene-kwaye yiloo nto omele uyisebenzise ukulinganisa ixabiso lakho."

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