Bendifuna Ukubonisa Ukuba Ngumama Angekhe Unditshintshe

Umxholo

• Itheko lesidlo sangokuhlwa- kunye nento endiyiphosileyo
• Unxibelelwano endifuna ukulugcina

Itheko lesidlo sangokuhlwa elaphoswa ngelixa ndikhulelweyo lalenzelwe ukukholisa abahlobo bam ukuba "ndisenguye" - kodwa ndafunda enye into.

Phambi kokuba nditshate, bendihlala kwisiXeko saseNew York, apho mna nabahlobo bam besidla besithanda ukutya kunye kunye nokuncokola nzulu kude kube ngokuhlwa. Ngokwemvelo, xa ndandihlala ezidolophini, ndandihlala kancinane nabahlobo bam besixeko, kodwa zange bakhalaze ndide ndibhengeze ukuba ndinomntwana.

Endaweni yokuba ndihlambe kunye nokuvuyisana, iqela lam eliphambili landilumkisa ukuba ndingabi sisimo sengqondo sabantu abaselunxwemeni. Omnye wathi: "Nceda ungabi ngomnye wabo mama bathetha ngabantwana bakhe hayi enye into." Yhu.

Ke xa umama wabonakala evala ngokukhawuleza, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndibonakalise kubahlobo bam abathandabuzayo (kwaye kulungile, mna) ukuba nam ndandindala. Njani? Ngokuphosa itheko lesidlo sangokuhlwa sabantu bam abathathu abasondeleyo kunye nabanye babo ababalulekileyo. Akukho sana usendleleni owayenokundigcina ekuphekeni izitya ezintandathu ukusuka ekuqaleni, ndisingatha isidlo sangokuhlwa esibhozo kwaye ndibonisa wonke umntu indlela endandonwabile ngayo!

Itheko lesidlo sangokuhlwa- kunye nento endiyiphosileyo

Ndandinenyanga ezi-7 ndikhulelwe, sonke isisu, ndiqhekeza ukujonga isalmon kwi-broiler kwaye ndifikelela kwi-tiptoe yokuhambisa izitya ngaphezulu kwefriji. Abahlobo bam baqhubeka becela ukunceda, kodwa ndandibagxotha. Iziphumo zokugqibela yayikukutya okumnandi endingakhange ndikwenze oko ukusukela, kwiminyaka eliqela kunye nabantwana ababini kamva - kodwa bendixakeke kakhulu ukuba ndingazonwabela.

Ndihlala ndicinga ngobo busuku xa ndichitha ixesha elisemgangathweni nabantwana bam kodwa ingqondo yam ikwenye indawo. Bafuna ukuba ndidlale ndinxibe okanye ndibafundele incwadi endiyithandayo kwakhona. Ndicinga ngokuqala isidlo sangokuhlwa okanye ndibhale inqaku elilindeleke ngomso. Kodwa endaweni yokukhawuleza ndize ndonakalise ubumnandi, ndiyazikhumbuza ukuba ndicothise kwaye ndonwabise umzuzu.

Ubusuku bepati yam yesidlo sangokuhlwa yayilixesha lokugqibela lokuba bonke abahlobo abasibhozo bahlangane unyaka wonke. Ndabiwa bubuthongo, ndiziqhelanisa nobomi nosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa. Abanye bebexakeke bubutsha bokuzibandakanya, ukucwangcisa imitshato.

Ndihlala ndizisola ngokungathathi ixesha ukonwabela inkampani yabo ngobusuku besidlo, endaweni yoko ndijolise amandla am ekutyeni. Ngethamsanqa, loo mava atshintshe umbono wam malunga nokuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni nabantu ababalulekileyo. Kwaye akekho umntu obaluleke ngaphezu kwabantwana bam.

Ndiqaphele ukuba akukho mgca wokugqibela wokuba ngumama ngokungathi kukho itheko lesidlo sangokuhlwa, kwaye ukuba ndihlala ndibaleka ukwenza izinto ngokufanelekileyo xa abantwana bam bengaphantsi, ndiya kuphulukana namaxesha amnandi enza ukuba ngumama kufanelekile.

Ngexesha lesidlo sam sangokuhlwa, ndeva ukuhlekisa kuvela kwigumbi lokuhlala ngelixa ndandihambisa izitya ekhitshini, kodwa ndakhetha ukutsiba ulonwabo. Ndenze umzamo oqinisekileyo wokungayenzi lonto nabantwana bam. Ndiba phantsi nam. Ndiyagigitheka kwaye ndiyanyikima. Ndenza amazwi angenangqondo xa ndifunda amabali. Ndiyadanisa, ndidlala ithegi, kwaye ndicinge ukuba ndiyintsomi enomdla. Isidlo sangokuhlwa sinokulinda. Abantwana bam baya kuba ncinci okwexeshana.

Okwangoku, ndenza konke okusemandleni am ukugxila kunyana wam nakwintombi yam. Kodwa ukuba ngumama akundiguqulanga ukuba ndibe yidrone enengqondo enye efuna ukuthetha ngamanqanaba omntwana, iingxaki zokufundisa ngeebhotile, kunye neendlela zobuzali, njengoko umhlobo wam engenabo ubuchule waxela kwangaphambili kwiminyaka eyadlulayo. Ukuba ngumama akutshintshanga umnqweno wam wokudibana nabahlobo bam abadala, abathandekayo kwisidlo sangokuhlwa kunye nencoko enentsingiselo. Endaweni yoko, iphefumlelwe ukuba ndidibanise abantwana bam nexesha lam elidlulileyo.

Unxibelelwano endifuna ukulugcina

Nangona ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukuhambisa abantwana abancinci esixekweni-ngakumbi xa bekukho iingxowa ze-diaper kunye ne-inshurensi yokujongana nayo-ndenze inqaku lokuba ndibone abahlobo bam bakudala rhoqo ngokwaneleyo ukuba abantwana bam babathande ezinye zezalamane zabo. Wonke umntu uyaphumelela.

Kwiminyaka embalwa, abantwana bam baya kufuna ukwazi ukuba ndandinjani ngaphambi kokuba ndibengumama, kwaye abahlobo bam bakudala ngabo kanye endifuna ukuphendula loo mibuzo. Ukuba ndinganikezela ngokupheleleyo kubomi basezidolophini kwaye ndilahlekelwe kukudibana nabantu bam, akukho nanye kwezi enokwenzeka.

Kodwa ndiyazinikezela, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, kwiinkalo ezithile zembono yomhlobo wam yokuthandabuza ukuba ngumama. Ndizifumene ngokwendalo nditsalela umdla ekutshintsheni kwabantwana bam, oko kuthetha ukuba ndiye ndagqobhoza phezu kokupeyinta ngomnwe, amakhosazana akwaDisney, iingoma zikaTaylor Swift, nokunye okuninzi.

Kodwa ulwalamano lwam nonyana wam nentombi yam akufuneki konke kube malunga nezinto abanomdla kuzo, ke sifunda iincwadi zemifanekiso zakudala ezazizintanda zam kwii-1970s. Sidlala imidlalo eye yathandwa, ngoku iCandy Crush idlule iRed Rover. Kwaye besiphekile kunye ukusukela abantwana bam bezintsana, kuba yenye yezinto endizithandayo… kwaye kuba ndifuna ukuba babenakho ukulungiselela amatheko ezihombiso zesidlo sangokuhlwa kubahlobo babo ngenye imini, ukuba imeko inokubakho.

Xa bendinosuku olunzima kakhulu-inyembezi kunye nokuphuma kwexesha kunye neethoyi ezisasazeke kuyo yonke indawo- kwaye ekugqibeleni ndilalisa wonke umntu, ndiziva ndidiniwe kodwa ndonelisekile, ndisazi ukuba ndinika abantwana bam yonke into endinayo ngaphandle ukuyekelela ubuqu bam, kwaye bayaphumelela. Kukhumbuza kancinane indlela endaziva ngayo ekupheleni kwesidlo sam sangokuhlwa esidala.

Emva kokuba abahlobo bam bemkile kwaye bendixakiwe sisidlo kwaye bendinekhitshi eligcwele izitya ezimdaka, bendihleli ixesha elide, ndiyivumela ukuba itshone kuba ndikhulelwe kwaye ndidiniwe kakhulu. Kodwa andikwazi ukuyeka ukuncwina, kuba ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba ngokuhlwa, bendizokwazi ukukholisa oyena mntu ubalulekileyo kubo bonke ubumama obungenakho ukutshintsha ukuba ndingubani ngaphakathi: Mna .

ULisa Fields ngumbhali osisigxina osebenza kakhulu kwezempilo, isondlo, impilo, impilo kunye nezihloko zomzali. Umsebenzi wakhe upapashwe kwiReader's Digest, iWebMD, ukugcinwa kakuhle kwezindlu, umzali wanamhlanje, ukukhulelwa, kunye nezinye iimpapasho. Unokufunda ngakumbi ngomsebenzi wakhe apha.