Inkuthazo yokwenza

Umxholo

• Ngaphambi kokuba uqale
• KuPhawu lwakho (Phambi kokuCingisisa)
• Lungela (ukucamngca)
• Cwangcisa (ulungiselelo)
• Yiya! (Isenzo)
• Unayo Le! (Ulondolozo)
• Iingcebiso zokuhlala eMkhondo
• Uphengululo lwe

Ngaphandle koSuku loNyaka oMtsha, isigqibo sokufumana ubume asiqhelekanga ukwenzeka ngobusuku obunye. Kwaye, nje ukuba uqalise ngesicwangciso esitsha sokuzilolonga, inkuthazo yakho inokunyuka kwaye iyancipha ukusuka ngeveki ukuya evekini. Ngokwabaphandi basePenn State, oku kuguquguquka kusenokuba kukwehla kwakho.

Abaphandi bavavanye iinjongo zabafundi beekholeji zokuba basebenze kunye nenqanaba lomsebenzi wabo kwaye bafikelela kwizigqibo ezibini eziphambili: Okokuqala, inkuthazo yokwenza umthambo eguquguqukayo veki nganye. Okwesibini, oku kuguquka kunxibelelene ngqo nokuziphatha-abo baneenjongo ezomeleleyo zokuzilolonga babonisa elona thuba lilungileyo lokulandela, ngelixa abo banolona tshintsho lukhulu kunkuthazo babelona xesha linzima ukunamathela kwimithambo.

"Kukho ingcamango yokuba xa ufuna ukuqala irejimeni entsha yokufaneleka konke okanye akukho nto, kodwa utshintsho luluhlu lwamanqanaba ahlukeneyo ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokukuyisa kwinqanaba ngalinye elilandelayo," kusho u-Elizabeth R. Lombardo, PhD, isazi sengqondo, kwaye umbhali we Ukonwaba: Umyalelo wakho wokugqibela wolonwabo. Aba bafundi banokuba bezama ukutsiba ngaphezulu kwelinye okanye ngaphezulu kwamanqanaba amahlanu okanye "amanqanaba" afunekayo ukwenza utshintsho olusisigxina.

Konke malunga nenkuthazo, utshilo uLombardo. "Ngaba ukhuthazeka ngakumbi ukuba wenze utshintsho oluqinisekileyo okanye ngaba ukhuthazeka ngakumbi ukuba uhlale esofeni kwaye utye iichips?"

Ngaphambi kokuba uqale

Bhala izibonelelo zokuzilolonga ngaphambi kokuba uqalise, utshilo uLombardo. "Dwelisa uphuculo lomzimba, lwentlalo, imveliso, kunye nolwamoya oza kuba nalo-zonke ezi nkalo ziyaxhamla kwindlela yokuzilolonga rhoqo." Umzekelo, ngokwentlalo uziva ungcono, ungumhlobo ongcono, uvelisa ngakumbi, uzikhulisele ngokwakho, njl njl. Yifunde kwaye "uzive" yonke imihla ubuncinane kanye okanye kabini ngosuku ngokuvakalayo kwaye namava Imvakalelo emva kweengxelo zakho, utshilo uLombardo.

Ukuqala inkqubo entsha okanye umkhwa osempilweni kufuna ukulandela ezi zigaba zintlanu zilandelayo. (Imodeli yantlandlolo yotshintsho yaphuhliswa ekupheleni kweminyaka yee-1970 ngabacebisi botywala ukunceda iingcali ukuba ziqonde iingxaki zokukhotyokiswa kwabathengi). Inqanaba ngalinye linemingcipheko onokuthi uhlangane nayo.

Ukulungele ukwenza utshintsho ebomini bakho bonke? Iingcali zabelana ngeengcebiso zazo ezilungileyo zokufikelela kwinqanaba ngalinye ukuze uphumelele.

KuPhawu lwakho (Phambi kokuCingisisa)

Kweli nqanaba lokuqala awucingi nokucinga ngokutshintsha indlela oziphatha ngayo.

Ukukhuthaza masher: Umqobo omkhulu kwinqanaba lokucamngca kwangaphambili kukuqonda okanye ukuqonda ukuba ingxaki ikhona, utshilo uJohn Gunstad, PhD, unjingalwazi oncedisayo wezengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseKent State, eOhio. "Sonke singayichonga ingxaki xa kuvela iingxaki (umz.ugqirha uxilonga ingxaki yezonyango, impahla ayithandayo ayisahambelani), kodwa ukuba nomdla wokuchonga iindlela zokuziphatha ezincinci nezingalunganga kunokuba ngumceli mngeni." Ngaba ucinga kuwe ukuba uyenzile le nto ngaphambili kwaye awunakuze unamathele kuyo ngaphambili kutheni uzikhathaza ngoku?

Utshintsho olukhuthazayo: Izinto ezimbini ezilula zinokukunceda uqalise utshintsho lwakho olusempilweni, utshilo uGunstad. "Okokuqala, qalisa incoko. Thetha nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho lwakho malunga nempilo, umthambo, ukutya ukutya, njl. Kwaye, zivumele uphuphe, uLombardo wongeza. "Khawucinge ukuba bekuya kuba njani ubomi bakho ukuba ubulungile, ubhityile kwaye usempilweni."

Lungela (ukucamngca)

Uqala ukucinga ukuba unokuba nengxaki ekufuneka uyilungise, kodwa usesecingweni malunga nokuthatha inyathelo lokuqala.

Ukukhuthaza masher: Uqala ukucinga malunga nokuba ukunciphisa umzimba kunye nokuba sempilweni kunokukunceda njani ukuba ubukeke ngcono kwi-bikini, kodwa une "buts" ezininzi kakhulu, utshilo uLombardo. Uhlala ucinga ngezizathu zokuba kutheni ungenako ukuqalisa, njengokuthi "Ndiyafuna kodwa Andinaxesha."

Utshintsho olukhuthazayo: Kuya kufuneka ujonge izizathu zakho zokutshintsha kwaye uqwalasele izinto ezingalunganga kunye nezinto ezintle ezinokuthi zenzeke, utshilo uLombardo.Umzekelo, ukuba uqala ukusebenza okanye ukongeza kuqeqesho lwakho lwangoku, uya kulungela njani kwelo xesha longezelelweyo? Ukuba kunjalo, khangela iindlela zokwandisa ixesha lakho ukuze ucoce izizathu zakho. “Ukusuka ekucingeni ngokutshintsha iindlela zakho ukuze wenze oko kunokuba nzima,” utshilo uGunstad. "Abantu abaninzi bafumanisa ukuba ukuchonga into efanelekileyo ekhuthazayo kunokubangela inkqubela phambili." Kwabanye abantu, ijongeka ilungile kwindibano yosapho ezayo. Kwabanye, kunokunciphisa (okanye nokuba nakho ukuyeka) amayeza athile. Khangela ukuba yintoni kanye kanye ekwenza ukuba uphelelwe ngamandla kwaye usendleleni eya kwinqanaba elilandelayo.

Cwangcisa (ulungiselelo)

Ukwinqanaba lokucwangcisa. Awugqitywanga ngokupheleleyo kodwa ubhekisa kwicala lotshintsho.

Ukukhuthaza masher: Uyenza izicwangciso kodwa imiqobo iyaqhubeka nokuvela, utshilo uLombardo. Ukuba uza kuqala ukusebenza nomqeqeshi, mhlawumbi ukwenza ixesha libe ngumqobo. Okanye awukwazi ukufumana indawo yokuzivocavoca efanelekileyo. Awucacanga kwiinkcukacha.

Utshintsho olukhuthazayo: Yibhale, utshilo uLombardo. "Ukubhala iinjongo zakho kunceda ngaphezulu kokuthetha ngako." Chaza amanyathelo athile ekufuneka uwathathe kunye nento onokuyenza ukwenza inyathelo ngalinye libe lula. Yaphule ibe ziinxalenye ezincinci. "Endaweni yokujolisa ekulahlekeni kobunzima be-50-lb, cwangcisa amanyathelo onokuwathatha endleleni," utshilo uLombardo. "Qho xa usenza umthambo kufuneka uthathwe njengophumeleleyo apha endleleni."

Ukulungiselela konke malunga nokugcina kulula, utshilo uGunstad. "Rhoqo abantu baya kufuna ukutshintsha iindlela ezininzi zokuziphatha ngaxeshanye okanye bazame ukutshintsha indlela abaziphethe ngayo ngaphandle kwesicwangciso esicacileyo nesigxile. Endaweni yoko, phuhlisa injongo ecacileyo nelula ekulula ukuyilandela." Umzekelo, endaweni yokubhala usukelo olungacacanga lwe Ndiza kuzilolonga ngakumbi, misela injongo ye Ndiza kuzilolonga kathathu ngeveki. Ukuba nenjongo ecacileyo kuya kukwenza ukuba uqalise kunyawo lwasekunene kwaye ikuvumela ukuba ulungise isicwangciso kamva.

Yiya! (Isenzo)

Uthathe amanyathelo okuhamba, kodwa usaqala.

Ukukhuthaza masher: Ukuba unayo yonke into okanye awunanto, uya kuwa apha, utshilo uLombardo. "Ukuba ubusebenza iiveki nje ezimbalwa kwaye ujonge utshintsho emzimbeni wakho, unokudimazeka ukuba awufumani ziphumo ngokukhawuleza."

Utshintsho olukhuthazayo: Qaphela ukuba kufuneka ulindele ukuphelelwa lixesha apho ungenalo ixesha lokusebenza. Yiba neqhayiya ngale nto uyenzayo kwaye ujonge ukuba ufike phi, utshilo uLombardo. "Zivuze ngokuphatha okungekuko kokutya okukukhuthazayo." Imizekelo elungileyo: Bona imovie, zithengele umculo omtsha, fumana umyalezo, yiya esidlweni esisempilweni, udibane nomhlobo wakudala, uthathe ibhafu, okanye uchithe nje iiyure ezintathu ngoMgqibelo ujikeleza kwaye uphumle.

Inqanaba lesenzo libandakanya ukuqala indlela yakho yokuziphatha kwaye yeyona inzima kubantu abaninzi, utshilo uGunstad. "Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ukutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha ngumsebenzi onzima, kunye nokutya okusempilweni, ukulala ngokwaneleyo, kunye nokulawula uxinzelelo kuya kukuvumela ukuba ugxile kumandla akho ekulandeleni isicwangciso sakho."

Unayo Le! (Ulondolozo)

Ukugcinwa kuthetha ukuba ulandela isicwangciso sakho kodwa kusekho ukubuyela kwakhona.

Ukukhuthaza masher: Iqhelekile into yokuba abantu bazilolonge okomzuzwana kwaye bayeke kwaye bazithathele ingqalelo ukusilela, utshilo uLombardo. Unokuthi, Bendixinezelekile bendikhumbula ukuzilolonga kwam, kutheni ndizikhathaza ngokuqhubeka kuba izophinda yenzeke…

Utshintsho olukhuthazayo: Endaweni yokuzibiza ukusilela, jonga "ukuqokelela idatha," oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka uqaphele okwenzekileyo kwaye uthathe amanyathelo okuthintela ukuba ingenzeki kwakhona, utshilo uLombardo. Umzekelo, jonga ukuba yintoni ebangele ukuba weqe umthambo wakho okanye utye loo donut kwaye ufumane into onokuyenza malunga nayo kwixesha elizayo xa imeko inye ivela.

Iingcebiso zokuhlala eMkhondo

Ukutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha kunzima kwaye akukho mntu unokukrazula iminwe kwaye alandele isicwangciso sokuzilolonga okanye indlela yokutya enempilo ngokugqibeleleyo ubomi babo bonke, utshilo uGunstad. "Uza kudibana namaqhuma endleleni eya kwimpilo yakho entsha."

Iindlela ezimbini ezinokukunceda uphumelele. Okokuqala, khumbula ukuba impilo enempilo ayithethi ukulandela isicwangciso se-100 ekhulwini lexesha. "Uza kutyibilika kwimikhwa emidala-ungavumeli isiliphu sibe sisilayidi." Zixelele ukuba kulungile ukuba ungafezeki kwaye ubuyele nje kwisicwangciso.

Emva koko, funda kwisiliphu. (“Okumangalisayo kukuba, asinakuphucula ngaphandle kwabo,” utsho uGunstad) Cinga ngezinto ezibangele ukuba uphume endleleni. Ngaba yayinoxinzelelo? Ulawulo lwexesha elibi? Ngokuchonga oonobangela bakho, unokukhulisa isicwangciso sokusebenza ubangqongile kwaye ubuyele emgceni. Emva koko, yenza izicwangciso zakho kwaye usendleleni eya kwimpilo entsha kuwe.

Uphengululo lwe