Intsomi vs.Yinyani: Ngaba uziva njani uhlaselo lokuphakuzela?

Umxholo

• Intsomi: Yonke into eyoyikisayo ineempawu ezifanayo
• Intsomi: Uhlaselo loloyiko kukunyanzelwa kwaye kwenziwe ngokubonakalayo
• Intsomi: Abantu abahlaselwa kukuphakuzela bafuna uncedo okanye unyango
• Intsomi: Ngabantu kuphela abafunyaniswa benesifo sengqondo abanamava okuhlaselwa kukuphakuzela

Ngamanye amaxesha elona candelo linzima kukuzama ukuziva uqondwa ngenxa yokubekwa amabala kunye nokungaqondani kokuhlaselwa kukothuka.

Impilo kunye nokuphila kakuhle kuchaphazela ngamnye wethu ngokwahlukileyo. Eli libali lomntu omnye.

Ukuqala kwam ukuhlaselwa lunkwantyo, ndandineminyaka eyi-19 kwaye ndibuya eholweni lokutyela ndiye kwikholeji yam yokulala.

Khange ndikwazi ukuyikhomba into eyiqaleleyo, yintoni ebangele ukukhawuleza kombala ebusweni bam, ukuphefumla okufutshane, ukuqala ngokukhawuleza koloyiko olukhulu. Kodwa ndaqala ukukhala, ndazisongela iingalo zam emzimbeni wam, ndakhawulezisa ndabuyela kwigumbi endandisandul 'ukungena kulo - kathathu nabanye abafundi beekholeji ezimbini.

Kwakungekho ndawo yokuya-ndawo yokufihla iintloni zam kule mvakalelo inamandla nengachazekiyo- ndaye ndazisongela ebhedini ndajongana nodonga.

Kwakusenzeka ntoni kum? Kutheni le nto isenzeka? Ndingayenza njani ukuba iyeke?

Kuthathe iminyaka unyango, imfundo, kunye nokuqonda ukubekwa kwebala malunga nokugula ngengqondo ukuze ukuqonde ngokupheleleyo okwenzekayo.

Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndayiqonda into yokuba ukungxamiseka okukhulu koloyiko kunye noxinzelelo endikhe ndalufumana amaxesha amaninzi ngelo xesha kwathiwa kukuhlaselwa kukothuka.

Kukho iingcinga ezininzi eziphosakeleyo malunga nokuba luhlaselo lunkwantyo lujongeka njani kwaye luvakala njani. Inxalenye yokunciphisa ibala elijikeleze la mava kukuphonononga ukuba uhlaselo lunkwantyo lukhangeleka njani nokwahlula inyani kubuxoki.

Intsomi: Yonke into eyoyikisayo ineempawu ezifanayo

Yinyani: Ukuhlaselwa kukothuka kunokuziva kwahlukile kuye wonke umntu, kwaye ubukhulu becala kuxhomekeke kumava akho.

Iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zibandakanya:

• ukuqhawukelwa ngumphefumlo
• intliziyo ebalekayo
• ukuziva ulahlekile kolawulo okanye ukhuseleko
• iintlungu zesifuba
• isicaphucaphu
• isiyezi

Zininzi iimpawu ezahlukileyo kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba uzive ezinye zeempawu, kwaye ayizizo zonke.

Kwaye, uhlaselo lunkwantyo luhlala luqala ngokukhawulezisa kobushushu kunye nobuso obuqwebileyo, uloyiko olukhulu, ukonyuka kwentliziyo, kunye nokulila ngaphandle kokubangela.

Kangangexesha elide, bendizibuza ukuba ingaba ndingayibiza na into endiyiveleleyo, kwaye ndizabalaze “ukubanga” ilungelo lam lokukhathalela nokukhathalela, ndicinga ukuba ndiyadlala.

Ngokwenyani, uvalo lunokubonakala njengezinto ezininzi ezahlukeneyo, kwaye nokuba yeyiphi na ileyibhile oyibekayo kuyo, ufanele ukufumana inkxaso.

Intsomi: Uhlaselo loloyiko kukunyanzelwa kwaye kwenziwe ngokubonakalayo

Yinyani: Ngokuchasene neenkolelo ezibekwa amabala, uhlaselo loloyiko asiyonto abantu abanokuyilawula. Asazi kakuhle ukuba yintoni ebangela uhlaselo, kodwa siyazi ukuba banokubangelwa ziziganeko zoxinzelelo, ukugula ngengqondo, okanye into engachazwanga okanye utshintsho kwindalo esingqongileyo.

Uhlaselo loloyiko alonwabisi, alungeni ndawo, kwaye luhlala lusenzeka ngaphandle kwesilumkiso.

Endaweni yokujonga ingqalelo, uninzi lwabantu abafumana uhlaselo lunkwantyo banobuninzi bokubekwa amabala ngaphakathi kunye neentloni, kwaye bayakucaphukela ukoyikiswa esidlangalaleni okanye kwabanye abantu.

Kwixesha elidlulileyo, xa ndiziva ndikufutshane nohlaselo loloyiko, bendikhawuleza ndishiye imeko okanye ndigoduke ngokukhawuleza ukuze ndithintele ukuba neentloni esidlangalaleni.

Rhoqo abantu babedla ngokuthetha izinto kum njengokuthi "Akukho kwanto enokukucaphukisa!" okanye "Awungekhe uhlise umoya?" Ezi zinto zihlala zicaphukisa ngakumbi kwaye zenze kube nzima nokuzola.

Into efanelekileyo onokuyenza kumntu onokuhlaselwa yintlonelo nje ubabuze ngokuthe ngqo ukuba bafuna ntoni kwaye ungabaxhasa njani.

Ukuba uyamazi umhlobo okanye umntu omthandayo osoloko ehlaselwa kukuphakuzela, buza ngexesha elizolileyo ukuba bangathanda ntoni kuwe okanye abo babangqongileyo ukuba inokwenzeka.

Rhoqo, abantu bayahlaselwa kukuphakuzela okanye izicwangciso zeentlekele abanokuthi babelane ngazo zichaze oko kubanceda ukuba bazole kwaye babuyele kwisiseko.

Intsomi: Abantu abahlaselwa kukuphakuzela bafuna uncedo okanye unyango

Yinyani: Kunoyikisa ukubona umntu ehlaselwa luloyiko. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba abekho kuyo nayiphi na ingozi ekhawulezileyo. Eyona nto unokuyenza kukuhlala uzolile.

Nangona kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukunceda umntu ukuba ahlule phakathi kokuhlaselwa kukuphakuzela kunye nesifo sentliziyo, ngesiqhelo abantu abanesifo sokuphakuzela bahlala bekwazi ukuxelela umahluko.

Ukuba ujikeleze umntu ohlaselwa luloyiko kwaye sele ubuzile ukuba bafuna inkxaso na, eyona nto ingcono kukuyihlonipha nokuba yeyiphi na impendulo yabo, kwaye ubakholelwe ukuba bayatsho ukuba bangayinyamekela bodwa.

Abantu abaninzi banobuchule ekuphuhliseni izakhono kunye namacebo okunqanda uloyiko kwaye babe nesicwangciso esingagqibekanga sokwenza xa iimeko ezinjalo zisenzeka.

Ndiyazi kakuhle into ekufuneka ndiyenzile ukuzikhathalela kwiimeko ezinjalo, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi ndifuna nje ixesha elithile lokwenza izinto endaziyo ukuba ziya kundinceda- ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngesigwebo esivela kwabo bandingqongileyo.

Ukuba ubuze umntu ukuba ahlaselwe kukuphakuzela ukuba ufuna uncedo, eyona nto ifanelekileyo kukuyenza kukuhlonipha impendulo yakhe-nokuba uthe angaziphatha yedwa.

Intsomi: Ngabantu kuphela abafunyaniswa benesifo sengqondo abanamava okuhlaselwa kukuphakuzela

Yinyani: Nabani na onokufumana uhlaselo loloyiko, nangaphandle kokufunyaniswa kwesifo sengqondo.

Oko kwathiwa, abanye abantu basemngciphekweni wokufumana uloyiko oluninzi kubomi babo bonke, kubandakanya nabantu abanembali yosapho yokuhlaselwa kukothuka okanye imbali yokuhlukunyezwa kwabantwana okanye ukwenzakala. Omnye umntu unobungozi obuphezulu xa efumanisa ukuba:

• ukuphazamiseka kovalo
• Ingxaki yoxinzelelo ngokubanzi (GAD)
• Uxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo lwasemva (PTSD)

Abantu abangayifikeleliyo loo miqobo basengozini - ngakumbi ukuba bafumana isiganeko esibuhlungu, bakwimeko yoxinzelelo emsebenzini okanye kwimeko yesikolo, okanye khange balale ngokwaneleyo, batye, okanye amanzi.

Ngesi sizathu, licebo elilungileyo kuye wonke umntu ukuba abe nembono ngokubanzi malunga nokuba uhlaselo lunkwantyo lunjani kunye nezinto ezintle abanokuzenza ukubuyela ekuziva bezolile.

Ukuqonda uhlaselo loloyiko kunye nokufunda ukuba ungazixhasa njani wena kunye nabanye kuhamba ixesha elide ekunciphiseni ukubekwa amabala okugula ngengqondo. Inganciphisa enye yezona ndawo zinzima kuhlaselo-ukucacisa okwenzekileyo, okanye okwenzekayo, kubantu abakungqongileyo.

Ibala lokugula ngengqondo lihlala liyinxalenye ekunzima kakhulu ukujamelana nayo kwiimeko xa umntu sele enengxaki.

Ngesi sizathu, ukufunda ukwahlula intsomi kwinyani kungenza umahluko omkhulu, kubantu abafumana uloyiko, kunye nakwabo bafuna ukuqonda indlela yokuxhasa abantu ababathandayo.

Ndiye ndachukunyiswa ngokungaguquguqukiyo yindlela abahlobo bam abaye bafunda ngoxinzelelo kunye nokuhlaselwa kukothuka baphendula xa ndinexesha elinzima.

Inkxaso endiyifumeneyo ibingakholeleki. Ukusuka nje ukuhlala cwaka nam ngelixa ndicaphukile ukundinceda ukukhuthaza iimfuno zam xa ndinengxaki yokuthetha, ndinombulelo ongazenzisiyo kubahlobo kunye nabahlobo abandincedayo ukuba ndikhangele ukugula ngengqondo.

UCaroline Catlin ngumculi, umgqugquzeli kunye nomsebenzi wezempilo yengqondo. Uyazithanda iikati, iilekese ezimuncu, kunye novelwano. Ungamfumana kwiwebhusayithi yakhe.