I-No. 1 Isizathu sokuKopela kwabafazi

Umxholo

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Ungacinga umtshato apho iqabane likopelayo ngumtshato kwimilenze yalo yokugqibela, akunjalo? Uphando olutsha olwenziwe kwintlanganiso ye-109 ye-American Sexological Association icela ukwahluka. Amaqabane amaninzi onwabile emtshatweni wawo-kodwa ajonge nokuthandana, kufunyenwe isifundo sabasetyhini abali-100 phakathi kweminyaka engama-35 ukuya kuma-45 ubudala. (Qaphela: Thatha oku ngengqolowa yetyuwa, njengoko abathathi-nxaxheba bebekwangamalungu eAshleyMadison.com, indawo yabantu abafuna ukwenza imicimbi engaphandle komtshato.) Kodwa elona candelo linomdla lophando? Akukho namnye kwabafazi kolu phononongo obonakalise umdla wokushiya umtshato wabo. Amashumi amathandathu anesixhenxe eepesenti alahlekile kuba befuna ngaphezulu "ukuthanda uthando."

Kwaye ngelixa isenokuvakala ngathi ibingayi kuba yingxaki enkulu ukucwangcisa ubusuku nje, abaphandi ababandakanyekayo kolu phando bathi ayisebenzi ngaloo ndlela. Umbhali ophononongwe uEric Anderson, Ph.D., unjingalwazi wobudoda kwiYunivesithi yaseWinchester eNgilane, kunye negosa eliyintloko lezenzululwazi eAshleyMadison.com .

Kwaye ngelixa ufuna isondo kwenye indawo kunokusebenzela ezinye izibini (cinga uFrank noClaire Underwood kwi Indlu yamakhadi), ayisiyiyo kuphela indlela yokuhamba (okanye esona sisombululo!). Qala, endaweni yoko, ngokuthetha nje. "Uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo, kwanabo bathandana kakhulu, abayazi nje indlela yokuthetha ngesondo," utshilo uJenni Skyler, Ph.D., ugqirha wesondo kunye nobudlelwane kunye nomlawuli we-Intimacy Institute eBoulder, CO. .

Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nobabini nibonakala ngathi niyinto enqabileyo malunga nomxholo-kodwa bobabini bafuna ukuzisa iziqholo ngakumbi kwigumbi lokulala-bhalisela iworkshop kwivenkile yendawo yesini kubusuku bakho bomhla olandelayo, iingcali zicebisa. Inokukunceda ukuba nobabini nikhululeke ngakumbi xa nithetha into ekujikayo-kunye nengenziyo. Iimpahla zishiyiwe, kodwa ukuba neengcali ezithetha ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo kunye neengcebiso kunokwenza kube lula kuwe ukuba uvule emva kweklasi kunye nokonwaba ngokwenza into entle kunye.

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