Indoda 2.0: Amaqhinga eSicwangciso seMpilo yeNgqondo yaMadoda ngexesha loKwahlula

Umxholo

• Beka uxhulumaniso phambili
• 1. Ziva iimvakalelo zakho
• 2. Yolula isandla ukuze uqhagamshele
• 3. Ngena ngaphakathi (ngokwakho)
• 4. Thatha amanyathelo
• Ukunika imvume yokuziva

Umzekeliso: URuth Basagoitia

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Ukuba sesichengeni sisenzo sobunkokeli esixhasa ngokunzulu abanye.

Le yiNdoda 2.0, umnxeba wokuzivelela ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukuchonga indoda. Sabelana ngezixhobo kwaye sikhuthaza ukuba semngciphekweni, ukuzibonakalisa, kunye novelwano oluvela kuthi kwabanye abantu. Ngokubambisana ne-EVRYMAN.

Ngala maxesha alinga, kunokwenzeka ukuba ubone unxibelelwano oluthe ngqo phakathi kwempilo yethu yengqondo kunye nokuphila kwethu ngokubanzi.

Ngaphakathi kuninzi loluntu lwam, kukho amava aqhelekileyo avelayo.

Sonke sibekwe ngaphandle-ngokungathi sithunyelwe kwindawo yokucamngca esingayibhaliselanga kwaye ayipheli kungekudala. Iipateni zethu eziqhelekileyo ziye zaphazamiseka kwaye uninzi lwethu, asazi nje ukuba masenze ntoni ngayo.

Kumadoda, oku kuzisa ucelomngeni olwahlukileyo.

Impendulo eyoyikisayo endiyiva emadodeni kwindawo endihlala kuyo nakwihlabathi jikelele kukuba sibekwa kwimeko eyodwa yokufuna ukuthatha inyathelo kodwa singabinayo indlela ecacileyo yokwenza oko.

Izithintelo zokuba semakhayeni ethu njengoko imeko yeengxaki isenzeka kuthi isishiya sineemvakalelo ezinzulu zoloyiko, unxunguphalo kunye noxinzelelo. Uninzi lweendlela zethu eziqhelekileyo zokuqhubekeka azifumaneki.

Amadoda kwindawo endihlala kuyo ayasokola kuba asikwazi ukuya kwindawo yokwenza umthambo, asinakuba nayo iburger kunye nebhiya kunye nabahlobo bethu, kwaye asinasiphazamiso siqhelekileyo seshishini njengesiqhelo.

Ugqirha wezengqondo uGeorge Faller uthetha ngokucacileyo ngumahluko phakathi koxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo kunye nokukhula kwasemva koxinzelelo. UFaller wayengumcimi-mlilo weSixeko saseNew York kwaye wakhonza kwindawo engaphantsi komhlaba, kwaye uye wafunda ukuba kuthatha ntoni na ukujikeleza umceli mngeni kwaye ungatyiwa.

Into ayifumeneyo yeyokuba kwa ezo meko zinzima zinokuba yimbewu yeentlungu zexesha elide, okanye zinokukhuthaza isenzo kunye nendaleko etshintsha ubomi bethu bube ngcono.

Ukunciphisa ukusukela, eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu eyahlula ezi zinto zimbini uqhagamshelo. Ukubeka ngokulula, xa sithatha amaxesha anzima kunye, siyakwazi ukukhula.

Kungenxa yoko le nto abacimi-mlilo, amaqela emikhosi ekhethekileyo, kunye neembaleki kumaqela ezemidlalo ngokwendalo zakha ubudlelwane obunzulu nobubalulekileyo omnye komnye. Bayadibana ukuze bajongane nomceli mngeni.

Beka uxhulumaniso phambili

Ezi ngcebiso zingezantsi mhlawumbi azizizo iindlela "zokubaleka-zokusila" zamadoda- kwaye yiyo loo nto kanye zinamandla.

Singabaleka ezinye iziseko, njengokuzilolonga kwaye uphumele ngaphandle kwindalo, kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo ngoku uqhagamshelo.

Njengevithamini D ngexesha lasebusika, sonke sinqwenela unxibelelwano lomntu olubalulekileyo, kwaye eli lithuba lokuba amadoda atshintshe le paradigm kubo kwaye mhlawumbi nakwihlabathi liphela.

1. Ziva iimvakalelo zakho

Uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo ayisosicwangciso silungileyo sempilo yengqondo. Ngelixa kukho amaxesha ebomini apho kuye kufuneke ukuba silawule iimvakalelo zethu, kubalulekile ukufumana indawo kunye nexesha lokuziva ngokupheleleyo okwenzekayo ngaphakathi.

Kumadoda amaninzi, oku kungangakhange kubonakale kuyinto yokwemvelo yokwenza. Kodwa xa singenayo indawo yokuqhubekeka namava ethu okwenyani, iimvakalelo zinokucinezela kwaye zakhe phezu komnye ngendlela engafanelekanga.

Ukuzibekela impumelelo, kubalulekile ukuba usebenze.

Unyango olukwi-Intanethi kunye nokusetyenziswa kwezempilo yengqondo kuyachuma kwaye kuyafumaneka ngokubanzi. Zombini i-Talkspace kunye ne-BetterHelp kufanelekile ukuba zijongwe.

Ukuthatha amanyathelo asebenzisekayo kwimpilo yakho yengqondo ayikufumani nje kuphela inkxaso oyifunayo, ikwanceda ukwahlula ibala lenkcubeko elinokuba ngumqobo kwamanye amadoda afumana uncedo.

Amaqela amadoda akwi-Intanethi, njengalawo siwabambe e-EVRYMAN, ziindlela ezilula zokungena kumjelo wokunyaniseka malunga nento oziva ngayo. La ngamaqela enkxaso yoontanga alandela indlela elula kakhulu kwaye efikelelekayo.

Siyacotha kwaye sinike ingqalelo kwinto esivakalelwa ngayo.

Ngeli xesha lokwahlulwa bodwa, uninzi lwamadoda athatha inxaxheba kumaqela ethu axela ukuba baziva benamaxhala, uloyiko kunye nokuba noloyiko. Amanye amadoda aneentloni, alahlekile, kwaye adidekile.

Ngokudibana ukuze sabelane, sifunda ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva ezi zinto, kwaye konke kuya kuba lula ngakumbi xa sikwenza kunye.

2. Yolula isandla ukuze uqhagamshele

Sinikwa ithuba lokufunda ixabiso lokwenyani lonxibelelwano ngetekhnoloji. Ukufowuna nabazali bakho, ukuncokola ngevidiyo nabantu osebenza nabo, okanye ukuthumela umyalezo kumyalezo wakowenu kunokuba luncedo ngoku.

Sifunda ukuba zibaluleke kangakanani ezi ndlela zonxibelelwano. Kulula ukuzithatha ngokungakhathali ikhondo eliqhelekileyo lobomi, kodwa xa kufuneka njalo, ifuthe lokufikelela linganomdla wokwenene.

Ukuze wenze elona thuba lonxibelelwano, unokubenza babale ngokuba sesichengeni kwaye babonakale.

Sonke siyalimala, siyoyika, kwaye siyasokola ngeendlela zethu. Xa sinyaniseka ngayo, sonke kufuneka sibonise ukuxhaswa ngokwenene.

Kule meko, ukuba sesichengeni sisenzo sobunkokeli esixhasa ngokunzulu abanye.

3. Ngena ngaphakathi (ngokwakho)

Ngokwenene lixesha elihle lokuzibonakalisa kunye nokucinga.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube ngumcamngci omkhulu okanye i-yogi ekumgangatho wehlabathi, kodwa sonke sinokuxhamla kwiinkqubo zokucamngca ezimangalisayo ezilapha.

Into endiyithandayo kakhulu yiCalm, kwaye indawo yokuqala, efikelelekayo yokuqalisa ngumceli mngeni wokucamngca weentsuku ezingama-30 notitshala uJeff Warren. Kukho umkhukula wokukhetha simahla kunye nokufikeleleka okukhoyo yonke imihla, kwaye ngenene benza umahluko.

Iphepha lephepha kunye nepeni (okanye inguqulelo yedijithali) inokuba yindawo entle yokujika. Sukuyicinga-zama umsebenzi wokuseta ixesha kunye nokubhala kangangemizuzu eli-10 ngaphandle kokuyeka. Makhe ubhale nantoni na nayo yonke into efuna ukuphuma.

4. Thatha amanyathelo

Ingaziva ilukhuni kakhulu ukuthatha inyathelo ngoku, kodwa iqhinga eliluncedo kukucothisa kwaye ufumane iindlela ezincinci, ezinokulawulwa zokuqhubela phambili kunye nokuziqhelanisa nezenzo ezilula, ezisebenzayo.

Oko kunokubonakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo ekuboneni kuqala kunokuzisa inkqubela phambili kunye nokudlulela phambili.

Omnye othatha inxaxheba kumaqela amadoda ethu waziva engalawuleki kwaye wagqiba kwelokuba acoce ifriji yakhe - umsebenzi awayewenza kangangeeveki. Enye indoda yafumana imbewu kwigaraji yayo yatyala igadi encinci ecaleni kwendlu yayo.

Ngokomntu, mna nomfazi wam sithathe eli thuba ukulungelelanisa ishedyuli yosapho lwethu lwemihla ngemihla ngendlela entle nenobuhle, kwaye ukuthatha elo nyathelo kukhokelele kwizibonelelo ezingapheliyo.

Ukunika imvume yokuziva

E-EVRYMAN, sichaza ubunkokeli njengokuvuma ukuba sesichengeni kuqala.

Siyakholelwa ukuba ukuvumela indoda ukuba ive ngokukhululekileyo kwaye yabelane ngezo mvakalelo ngokuzenzekelayo inika abanye imvume kunye nokhuseleko ukuba benze okufanayo.

Sinikezela ngenkxaso yasimahla kumadoda kwihlabathi liphela ngeefowuni zasekuhlaleni kunye namaqela emihla ngemihla. Yindawo entle yokujoyina amadoda kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi njengoko sidibana kunye ukuxhasa kunye nokubumbana.

UDan Doty ngumseki-kunye we-EVRYMAN kunye nomgcini we-EVRYMAN podcast. U-EVRYMAN unceda amadoda ukunxibelelana nokuncedana ukukhokelela kwimpumelelo ngakumbi, ubomi obanelisayo ngokwamaqela kunye nokubaleka.UDan unikezele ubomi bakhe ekuxhaseni impilo yengqondo yamadoda, kwaye njengoyise wamakhwenkwe amabini, yinto ebaluleke kakhulu. UDan ulibopha ilizwi lakhe ukunceda ukuxhasa utshintsho kwiparadigm kwindlela amadoda azikhathalela ngayo, abanye kunye neplanethi.