Ukuzahlulwa kwabucala kundibonisile ukuba yeyiphi eyona nto ayifunayo oomama abatsha

Umxholo

• Ixesha
• Ukwandiswa kwekhefu lokubeleka
• Ikhefu elingakumbi lokuzala
• Bhetyebhetye
• Inkxaso
• Apho sisuka khona apha
• Abazali Emsebenzini: Abasebenzi bangaphambili

Ndinabantwana abathathu kunye namava amathathu emva kokubeleka. Kodwa eli lixesha lokuqala ndisiya emva kokubeleka ngexesha lobhubhane.

Usana lwam lwesithathu luzelwe ngoJanuwari 2020, kwiiveki ezi-8 ngaphambi kokuba umhlaba uvale. Njengoko ndibhala, ngoku sichithe iiveki ezili-10 sodwa ekhaya. Oko kuthetha ukuba usana lwam kwaye siye sahlaliswa sodwa ixesha elide kunokuba besiphumile.

Kuvakala kukubi kunokuba kunjalo, eneneni. Nje ukuba ndigqithe kumothuko wokuqala wokuqonda ukuba iinyanga zokuqala ezi-2 zobomi bosana lwam ziya kuhlala ziphawulwe njengo “Phambi kweCorona” - kwaye nje ukuba ndiyamkele inyani yethu entsha ingahlala ixesha elide kunokuba bekulindelwe- ndikwazile ukubona ukuvalelwa ngamehlo ngokukhanya okutsha .

Akusiyo imfihlo ukuba unyaka wokuqala emva kokuzalwa unzima ngendlela emangalisayo, nokuba iimeko zithini na. Ngaphandle kokufunda izinto ozikhethayo kunye nobuntu bosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa, umzimba wakho, ingqondo, iimvakalelo, kunye nobudlelwane konke kuyahamba. Unokuziva ngathi ikhondo lomsebenzi wakho okanye ubomi bezezimali buthabathe. Amathuba uziva ngathi isazisi sakho siyatshintsha ngandlela thile.

Ukwenza izinto zibe ngumceli mngeni omkhulu, kwilizwe lethu, inkqubo yokhathalelo lwasemva kokubeleka kunye nekhefu losapho yinto yakudala. Umgaqo wokuba ngumama osebenzayo kukubuya ngokukhawuleza, ufihle ubungqina bokugxotha umntwana, kwaye ubonakalise ukuzibophelela kwakho kunye namandla akho kwakhona.

Zama ukulungelelana, bayasixelela. Kodwa akukho bhalansi xa kufuneka ushiye ngokupheleleyo ukuphilisa kwakho okanye ungayihoyi isiqingatha sesazisi sakho ukuze uphile. Ndihlala ndicinga ukuba ayilolungelelwano ekufuneka silangazelele, kodwa ukudityaniswa.

Ukufumana ikota yesine yokuvalelwa yedwa kwandinyanzela kuloo nto: indlela emanyanisiweyo yokuphila apho imigca phakathi kwexesha losapho, ukukhathalela usana, umsebenzi, kunye nokuzikhathalela kufiphele. Into endiyifumeneyo kukuba, ngandlela thile, ukubeleka emva kokubeleka kukuvalelwa kulula - isipho, nkqu. Kwaye kwezinye iindlela, kunzima kakhulu.

Kodwa ngaphesheya kwebhodi, ukuchitha iinyanga zokuqala zobomi bosana lwam ekhaya nosapho lwethu kuyenze yacaca gca: ixesha, ubhetyebhetye, kunye nenkxaso zezona zinto zidingwa ngoomama abatsha ukuze baphumelele.

Ixesha

Ndichithe yonke imihla nosana lwam kwezi veki zili-18 zidlulileyo. Le nyaniso iyandixaka. Lixesha elide kunalo naliphi na ikhefu lokubeleka ebendinalo ngaphambili, kwaye siye safumana izibonelelo ezinkulu ngenxa yoko.

Ukwandiswa kwekhefu lokubeleka

Ndinosana lwam lokuqala, ndabuyela emsebenzini emva kweeveki ezili-12 ndizelwe. Ngomntwana wam wesibini, ndabuyela emsebenzini emva kweeveki ezisi-8.

Omabini la maxesha xa ndibuyele emsebenzini, ubisi lwam lwehlile. Impompo nje ibingasebenzi njengam- mhlawumbi kuba ayibangeli kukhutshwa okufanayo kwe-oxytocin. Okanye mhlawumbi bendisoloko ndiziva ndinetyala ngokushiya idesika yam ukuba ndiyimpompe, ndiye ndayibeka kude kangangoko. Ngayiphi na imeko, kuye kwafuneka ndilwele yonke into ebusisiweyo yobisi nabantwana bam ababini bokugqibela. Kodwa hayi ngeli xesha.

Oko ndimpompoza oko safika ekhaya sivela esibhedlele, silungiselela usuku apho kuya kufuneka aye kwindawo yokugcina abantwana. Kwaye ntsasa nganye, ndiyothuka ngesixa sobisi endilubonakalisayo, kwanasemva kokutya.

Ukuba kunye nosana lwam lwesithathu ngosuku, usuku lokuphuma lundivumele ukuba ndimncancise kwimfuno. Kwaye ngenxa yokuba ukuncancisa yinkqubo eqhutywa yimfuno, andikhange ndibone ukwehla okufanayo kunikezelo lwam lobisi endikhe ndalifumana kumaxesha amabini ngaphambili. Ngeli xesha ubonelelo lwam lobisi lonyukile ngokuhamba kwexesha njengoko umntwana wam ekhulile.

Ixesha nosana lwam luye lwaphakamisa umoya wam. Iintsana zikhula kwaye zitshintshe ngokukhawuleza. Kum, bekuhlala kubonakala ngathi yeyona nto isebenzayo ukuzolisa iintsana zam itshintshe inyanga nenyanga kwaye kuye kwafuneka ndibazi kwakhona.

Ngeli xesha, ukuba nonyana wam yonke imihla yonke imihla, ndiye ndibone utshintsho oluncinci kwimood yakhe okanye isimilo sakhe ngokukhawuleza. Kutshanje, ukukhetha izinto ezincinci ngalo lonke usuku kukhokelele ekubeni ndikrokre ukuba uthule cwaka.

Ukutyelela ugqirha wabantwana kuqinisekisile ukukrokra kwam: Wayephulukana nobunzima, kwaye i-Reflux yayiza kuba netyala. Emva kokuqala amayeza, ndambuyisa emva kweeveki ezi-4 ukuya kuhlolwa. Ubunzima bakhe babunyuke kakhulu, kwaye wayebuyile kwigophe lakhe lokukhula eliqikelelweyo.

Ngethuba lokuqala ukusukela ekubeni ngumama kwiminyaka esi-7 eyadlulayo, ndiyazibona iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokukhala. Ngenxa yokuba ndinexesha elininzi kunye naye, ndiyakwazi ukuthetha into elula kakhulu kunokuba ndikwazi ukwenza kunye nabanye ababini. Kwelinye icala, xa ndiziphendula ngokufanelekileyo iimfuno zakhe, uye azole ngokukhawuleza kwaye abuyele kwakhona lula.

Ukondla ngempumelelo kunye nokukwazi ukunceda umntwana wakho ukuba ahlale xa ukhathazekile zizinto ezimbini ezinkulu kwimpumelelo yakho ebonakalayo njengomama omtsha.

Ikhefu lokuya kubeleka lifutshane kakhulu - kwaye ngamanye amaxesha alikho - kwilizwe lethu. Ngaphandle kwexesha elifunekayo lokuphilisa, ukwazi umntwana wakho, okanye ukuseka ubisi, sibeka oomama kumzabalazo ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo- kwaye bobabini oomama neentsana banokubandezeleka ngenxa yoko.

Ikhefu elingakumbi lokuzala

Ayindim ndedwa kusapho lwethu ochithe ixesha elininzi nolu sana kunabanye bethu babini. Umyeni wam akakaze abe ngaphezulu kweeveki ezi-2 ekhaya emva kokuza nosana ekhaya, kwaye ngeli xesha, umahluko kusapho lwethu olunamandla luyaziwa.

Njengam, umyeni wam ebenexesha lokukhulisa ubudlelwane bakhe nonyana wethu. Ufumene amaqhinga akhe okuzolisa umntwana, ahlukile kunam. Umfana wethu omncinci uyakhanya xa ebona utata wakhe, kwaye umyeni wam uqinisekile kubuchule bakhe bobuzali.

Ngenxa yokuba bayazana, ndiziva ndikhululekile ukudlulisa umntwana xa ndifuna owesibini kum. Ubudlelwane babo obukhethekileyo ecaleni, ukuba neseti eyongezelelweyo yezandla ekhaya kuyamangalisa.

Ndiyakwazi ukuhlamba, ndigqibe iprojekhthi yomsebenzi, ndigijime, ndichithe ixesha kunye nabantwana bam abakhulu okanye ndizolise ingqondo yam efriziweyo xa kufuneka njalo. Nangona umyeni wam esebenza ekhaya, ulapha uyanceda, kwaye impilo yam yengqondo ibhetele ngalo.

Bhetyebhetye

Ndithetha ngokusebenza ekhaya, mandikuxelele malunga nokubuya kwikhefu lokuya kubeleka ngexesha lobhubhane. Ayisiyonto incinci ukusebenza ekhaya kunye nomntwana omnye kwi-boob yam, omnye umntwana ethangeni lam, kwaye owesithathu ecela uncedo kwimfundo ekude.

Kodwa inkxaso yenkampani yam kwiintsapho ngeli xesha lobhubhane ayikhange ibe yinto emnandi. Ngumahluko ocacileyo wokubuya kwam okokuqala kwikhefu lokuya kubeleka, xa umphathi wam wandixelela ukuba ukukhulelwa kwam "sisizathu sokungaze ndiqeshe omnye umfazi."

Ngeli xesha, ndiyazi ukuba ndiyaxhaswa. Umphathi wam kunye neqela andothuki xa ndiphazanyiswa ngumnxeba we-Zoom okanye ndiphendula i-imeyile ngo-8: 30 ebusuku. Ngenxa yoko, ndenza umsebenzi wam ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ndiyawuthanda umsebenzi wam ngakumbi. Ndifuna ukwenza owona msebenzi mhle ndinokuwenza.

Inyani yile, abaqeshi kufuneka baqonde ukuba umsebenzi-nokuba ungaphandle kobhubhane-awenzeki kuphela phakathi kweeyure ze-9 ukuya kwi-5. Abazali abasebenzayo kufuneka babe bhetyebhetye ukuze baphumelele.

Ukunceda umntwana wam angene kwintlanganiso yeklasi yakhe, okanye ondle umntwana xa elambile, okanye athambekele emntwaneni onomkhuhlane, kufuneka ndikwazi ukugqibezela umsebenzi wam kwiziqwengana zexesha phakathi kwemisebenzi kamama.

Njengomama emva kokubeleka, ukuba bhetyebhetye kubaluleke ngakumbi. Iintsana azihlali zisebenzisana neshedyuli ebekiweyo. Bekunamaxesha amaninzi ngexesha lokuvalelwa bodwa xa umyeni wam okanye mna kuye kwafuneka sithathe umnxeba ngelixa sigadla nosana ezandleni zethu… esityhile esinye isityhilelo esibalulekileyo kuthi sobabini.

Nangona sobabini sisebenza ngokusisigxina ekhaya nabantwana, kwamkelekile ngakumbi kum, njengowasetyhini, ukuqhuba ishishini nosana emathangeni am. Kusekho ulindelo lokuba amadoda azakugcina ubomi bosapho bawo bohluke ngokupheleleyo kubomi bomsebenzi.

Nditshatile notata obandakanyekayo ongakhange arhoxe ekuqhubeni ishishini ngelixa ejonge abantwana. Kodwa naye uye waqaphela ukulindelwa okungachazwanga kunye neempawu zokumangaliswa xa engumnakekeli wezandla zomzuzu.

Akwanele ukubonelela kuphela ngokuguquguquka koomama abasebenzayo. Ootata abasebenzayo bayayifuna, nayo. Impumelelo yosapho lwethu ixhomekeke ekuthatheni inxaxheba kwamaqabane omabini. Ngaphandle kwayo, indlu yamakhadi iza kuwa phantsi.

Umthwalo ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwengqondo nangokweemvakalelo wokugcina lonke usapho lusempilweni kwaye lonwabile ngumthwalo omkhulu kakhulu ukuba umama awuthwale yedwa, ngakumbi kwixesha lasemva kokubeleka.

Inkxaso

Ndicinga ukuba ibinzana elithi "kuthatha ilali ukukhulisa umntwana" liyakhohlisa. Ekuqaleni, ilali inyusa umama.

Ukuba kwakungekho kwintsapho yam, abahlobo, abacebisi be-lactation, i-pelvic floor therapists, abacebisi bokulala, i-doulas, kunye noogqirha, andiyazi into yokuqala malunga nantoni na. Yonke into endiyifundileyo njengomama ibiziingqondi zobulumko obubolekiweyo, zigcinwe entlokweni nasentliziyweni yam.

Musa ukucinga ukuba ngumntwana wesithathu, uya kukwazi konke. Umahluko kuphela kukuba uyazi ngokwaneleyo ukuba wazi ukuba ucele nini uncedo.

Eli xesha lasemva kokubeleka lahlukile - ndisafuna uncedo. Bendifuna umntu oza kuncancisa xa ndijongana nesifo sokukrala kwebele okokuqala, kwaye ndisasebenza nogqirha wam kunye nonyango lomgangatho womqala. Kodwa ngoku siphila kubhubhane, uninzi lweenkonzo endizifunayo ziye zahamba kwi-intanethi.

Iinkonzo ezibonakalayo ziyi-GODSEND kumama omtsha. Njengoko benditshilo, iintsana azisoloko zisebenzisana neshedyuli, kwaye ukuphuma endlwini ukuya kwenza idinga ngumceli mngeni omkhulu. Ukudubula, ukuhlamba kunzima ngokwaneleyo. Ukungathethi, ukuziva uqinisekile ngokwaneleyo ukuqhuba nosana xa ulele ubuthongo yinkxalabo esemthethweni kuninzi loomama bokuqala.

Ndonwabile ukubona ilali eyandisiweyo yenkxaso isiya kwiqonga ledijithali apho oomama abaninzi baya kuba nakho ukufikelela kuncedo abalufaneleyo. Ndinethamsanqa lokuhlala eDenver, eColorado, apho kulula ukuyifumana inkxaso. Ngoku, ngokunyanzeliswa kweenkonzo ukufakwa kwikhompyutha, oomama abahlala ezilalini banofikelelo olufanayo lokunceda endilwenzayo edolophini.

Ngeendlela ezininzi, ilali engumzekeliso ihambele kwiqonga elibonakalayo. Kodwa akukho sithatha indawo yelali yethu yosapho olusondeleyo kunye nabahlobo. Amasiko ajikeleza ekwamkeleni umntwana omtsha esibayeni awafani nakude.

Eyona nto indibuhlungu kakhulu kukuba umntwana wam akazange afumane ukuhlangana notatomkhulu bakhe, umakhulu, oomakazi, oomalume, okanye abazala ngaphambi kokuba sizikhusele. Ungumntwana wethu wokugqibela - ukhula ngokukhawuleza - kwaye sihlala kumgama oziikhilomitha ezingama-2 000 ukusuka kusapho.

Uhambo lwethu lwasehlotyeni lokundwendwela abantu esibathandayo kunxweme oluseMpuma lwaluza kubandakanya ukudibana, ubhaptizo, imibhiyozo yemihla yokuzalwa, kunye nobusuku obude behlobo nabazala. Ngelishwa, kuye kwafuneka silurhoxise uhambo, ndingazi ukuba siza kubona nini wonke umntu ngokulandelayo.

Zange ndayiqonda indlela endiba lusizi ngayo xa kunokuthathwa ezo zithethe. Izinto endizithathileyo kunye nolunye usana lwam-ukuhamba nomakhulu, uhambo lokuqala lwenqwelomoya, ukuva oomakazi bethetha ngokuba umntwana wethu ujongeka kanjani -babanjiwe, ngokungapheliyo.

Isithethe sokwamkela umntwana sinceda nomama. Ezi zithethe zizalisekisa iimfuno zethu eziphambili zokuqinisekisa ukuba iintsana zethu zikhuselekile, zithandwa, kwaye zikhuselwe. Xa sinethuba, siya kukuxabisa konke ukwangiwa, yonke i-casserole engaphakathi, kunye nomakhulu notatomkhulu odlwengulayo njengangaphambili.

Apho sisuka khona apha

Ithemba lam lelokuba, njengelizwe, sinokusebenzisa ubuninzi bezifundo esizifundileyo sodwa, silungelelanise ulindelo lwethu, kwaye siyile amava angcono emva kokubeleka.

Cinga ngesibonelelo kuluntu ukuba oomama abatsha baxhaswe. Uxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka luchaphazela phantse- ndiqinisekile ukuba loo nto ingalahla kakhulu ukuba bonke oomama banexesha lokuhlengahlengisa, inkxaso evela kumaqabane abo, ukufikelela kwiinkonzo ezibonakalayo, kunye nendawo yokusebenza eguqukayo.

Khawufane ucinge ukuba iintsapho ziqinisekisiwe ngekhefu elihlawulelweyo, kwaye ukubuyela emsebenzini bekungu ramp-up okhethiweyo kunye nokukhetha ukusebenza kude xa kufuneka. Khawufane ucinge ukuba singayidibanisa ngokupheleleyo indima yethu njengomama ngaphakathi kwikhondo lomsebenzi kunye nobomi boluntu.

Oomama abatsha bafanelwe lithuba lokuphumelela kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi: njengomzali, umntu, kunye neengcali. Kufuneka sazi ukuba akufuneki sincame impilo yethu okanye isazisi ukuze sifumane impumelelo.

Ngexesha elaneleyo kunye nenkxaso efanelekileyo, sinokucinga kwakhona ngamava emva kokubeleka. Ukuvalelwa yedwa kundibonisile ukuba kunokwenzeka.

Abazali Emsebenzini: Abasebenzi bangaphambili

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