Ukuthetha nomntwana malunga nokugula okungapheliyo komzali

Xa unyango lomhlaza lomzali luyekile ukusebenza, unokuzibuza ukuba uza kumxelela njani umntwana wakho. Ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyaniseka yindlela ebalulekileyo yokunceda uxinzelelo lomntwana wakho.

Usenokuzibuza xa ilixesha elifanelekileyo lokuthetha nomntwana wakho ngokufa. Kuyinyani, kungangabikho xesha linye. Unokunika umntwana wakho ixesha lokungenisa iindaba kwaye abuze imibuzo ngokuthetha kwakamsinya emva kokuba ufumanise ukuba umhlaza wakho sisiphelo sendlela. Ukubandakanywa kolu tshintsho kunzima kunokunceda umntwana wakho azive eqinisekile. Inokukunceda ukwazi ukuba usapho lwakho luya kuhamba kunye kunye.

Iminyaka yobudala kunye namava adlulileyo zinento yokwenza nezinto eziqondwa ngabantwana malunga nomhlaza. Ngelixa kunokuba kulinga ukusebenzisa izichazi ezifana nokuthi, "Umama uzakuhamba," amagama angaqondakaliyo adida abantwana. Kungcono ucace malunga nento eza kwenzeka kwaye ujongane noloyiko lomntwana wakho.

• Thetha ngokungqalileyo. Xelela umntwana wakho ukuba unjani umhlaza onawo. Ukuba uthi uyagula, umntwana wakho anganexhala lokuba nabani na ogulayo uza kufa.
• Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba awunakufumana umhlaza komnye umntu. Umntwana wakho akanakukhathazeka ngokufumana kuwe, okanye ukunika abahlobo.
• Chaza ukuba ayilotyala lomntwana wakho. Ngelixa oku kunokucaca kuwe, abantwana bahlala bekholelwa ukuba babangela ukuba izinto zenzeke ngento abayenzayo okanye abayithethayo.
• Ukuba umntwana wakho mncinci kakhulu ukuba angakuqonda ukufa, thetha ngokwasemzimbeni awusasebenzi. Usenokuthi, "Xa uTata eswelekile, uza kuyeka ukuphefumla. Akasayi kutya okanye athethe kwakhona."
• Xelela umntwana wakho ukuba kuza kwenzeka ntoni emva koko. Umzekelo, "Unyango aluzukunyanga umhlaza wam ke oogqirha baya kuqinisekisa ukuba ndikhululekile."

Umntwana wakho unokubuza imibuzo kwangoko okanye athule kwaye afune ukuthetha kamva. Kuya kufuneka ukuba uphendule imibuzo efanayo amaxesha amaninzi ngelixa umntwana wakho esamkela ilahleko. Abantwana bahlala befuna ukwazi izinto ezinje:

• Kuza kwenzeka ntoni kum?
• Ngubani oza kundikhathalela?
• Ngaba nawe (omnye umzali) uza kufa?

Zama ukumqinisekisa umntwana wakho kangangoko unako ngaphandle kokufihla inyaniso. Chaza ukuba umntwana wakho uya kuqhubeka ephila nomzali osaphilayo emva kokuba uswelekile. Umzali ongenawo umhlaza unokuthi, "Andinawo umhlaza. Ndiceba ukubakhona ixesha elide."

Ukuba umntwana wakho ubuza imibuzo ongenakuyiphendula, kulungile ukuthi awazi. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ungayifumana impendulo, xelela umntwana wakho ukuba uya kuzama ukufumana impendulo.

Njengokuba abantwana bekhula, baya beqonda ngakumbi ukuba ukufa kusisigxina. Umntwana wakho unokukhathazeka kwaye aphume kwiminyaka yeshumi elivisayo, njengoko ilahleko iba yinto yokwenene. Usizi lunokubandakanya nayiphi na kwezi mvakalelo:

• Ukuziva unetyala. Abantu abadala kunye nabantwana banokuziva benetyala emva kokuba umntu abamthandayo eswelekile. Abantwana banokucinga ukuba ukufa sisigwebo sento abayenzileyo.
• Umsindo. Kunzima nje ukuva umsindo uvakaliswa ngabafileyo, le yinto eqhelekileyo kwintlungu.
• Uxinzelelo. Abantwana banokubuyela ekuziphatheni komntwana omncinci. Abantwana banokuphinda baqalise ukuntywizisa ebhedini okanye bafuna ingqalelo engakumbi kumzali osaphilayo. Zama ukuba nomonde, kwaye ukhumbule ukuba le yexeshana.
• Uxinzelelo. Usizi luyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yosizi. Kodwa ukuba usizi lukhulu kangangokuba umntwana wakho engakwazi ukumelana nobomi, kuya kufuneka ufune uncedo kwingcali yezempilo yengqondo.

Unganqwenela ukuba ungayithatha intlungu yomntwana wakho kodwa ukuba nethuba lokuthetha ngeemvakalelo ezinzima kunye nawe kunokuba yeyona ntuthuzelo ilungileyo. Chaza ukuba iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho, nokuba ziphi na, zilungile, kwaye uya kumamela nanini na umntwana wakho efuna ukuthetha.

Kangangoko kunokwenzeka, gcina umntwana wakho ebandakanyeka kwiinkqubo eziqhelekileyo. Yithi kulungile ukuya esikolweni, emva kwemisebenzi yesikolo, kunye nabahlobo.

Abanye abantwana bayadlala xa bejamelene neendaba ezimbi. Umntwana wakho unokuba nengxaki esikolweni okanye akhethe ukulwa nabahlobo. Abanye abantwana bayanamathela. Thetha notitshala womntwana wakho okanye umcebisi ngezikhokelo kwaye ubazise ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni.

Usenokuthetha nabazali babahlobo abasondeleyo bomntwana wakho. Kunganceda xa umntwana wakho enabahlobo anokuthetha nabo.

Unokulingwa ukuba umntwana wakho ahlale nomhlobo okanye isalamane ukuze asindise umntwana wakho ekuboneni ukufa. Uninzi lweengcali zithi kuyacaphukisa ukuba abantwana bagxothwe. Umntwana wakho uya kuba ngcono xa ekufutshane nawe ekhaya.

Ukuba umntwana wakho akakwazi ukubuyela kwimisebenzi yesiqhelo kwiinyanga ezi-6 okanye ngaphezulu emva kokuba umzali eswelekile, okanye ebonisa isimilo esiyingozi, tsalela umnikezeli wakho wezempilo.

Umbutho waseMelika woMhlaza. Ukunceda abantwana xa ilungu losapho linomhlaza: ukujongana nesifo esinganyangekiyo somzali. www.cancer.org/treatment/children-and-cancer/when-a-family-member-has-cancer/dealing-with-parents-terminal-illness.html. Ukuhlaziywa kwe-Matshi 20, 2015. Ifikeleleke ngo-Okthobha 7, 2020.

ILiptak C, iZeltzer LM, Recklitis CJ. Unonophelo lwengqondo lomntwana nosapho. Ku: Orkin SH, Fisher DE, Ginsburg D, Jonga AT, Lux SE, Nathan DG, eds. UNathan kunye no-Oski's Hematology kunye ne-Oncology yoBusana kunye noBuntwana. Ngomhla we-8. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier Saunders; 2015: isahl 73.

Kwiwebhusayithi yeZiko loMhlaza weSizwe. Ukujamelana nomhlaza ophambili. www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/advanced-cancer. Ukuhlaziywa ngoMeyi 2014. Kufumaneka ngo-Oktobha 7, 2020.

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