Kutheni ndala ukuziva ndinetyala ngokusebenza phandle ngelixa usana lwam lulele

Umxholo

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Lala xa umntwana elele: Licebiso oomama abatsha ukuba baphinde baphinde (nangaphezulu) kwakhona.

Emva kokuba nomntwana wam wokuqala kule nyanga iphelileyo kaJuni, ndeva amaxesha amaninzi. Ngamazwi afanelekileyo. Ukungabikho kokulala kunokuba buhlungu, singasathethi ke ngokubi kwimpilo yakho kwaye-kum-ubuthongo bebusoloko bubalulekile kwimpilo yam yengqondo kunye nomzimba. (Ngaphambi komntwana ndandingena rhoqo kwiiyure ezilithoba ukuya kwezili-10 ngobusuku.)

Kodwa kukho into * enye * bendisoloko ndijikile ukuze ndizive ndonwabile: ukubila. Ukwenza umthambo kundinceda ndoyise ixhala kwaye ndomeleze umzimba wam, kwaye ndiyakonwabela ukuziqeqeshela ugqatso nokuzama iiklasi ezintsha.

Ndagcina inkqubo yam ngexesha lokukhulelwa, nam. Ndade ndenza nemizuzu engama-20 yokuzivocavoca uStairmaster kusuku olungaphambi kokuba ndibeleke intombi yam. Bendiphefumla, ndibile, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu bendizolile. (Ewe kunjalo, kuya kufuneka uthethe ne-doc yakho ngaphambi kokwenza okufanayo ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwakho.)

Ke, ngelixa bendisoyika ukuphulukana nobuthongo obuza ngesandla-nosana, omnye wemibuzo yokuqala endiyibuze ugqirha wam yayikukuba,ndingaphinda ndisebenze nini kwakhona?

Kuba ndandizilolonga rhoqo phambi komntwana kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha lokukhulelwa kwam, ugqirha wam wandixelela ukuba ndingaqala ngokuhamba lula nje ukuba ndiziva ndikulungele. Ngobusuku endabuya ngabo ekhaya ndibuya esibhedlele, ndahamba ndaya esiphelweni sebhloko lam — mhlawumbi ngaphantsi kweshumi leemayile. Kuko konke endandicinga ukuba ndingakwenza kodwa, ngandlela thile, kwandinceda ndaziva ngathi nam.

Ukuchacha emva kokubeleka akuyonto idlalayo—kwaye kubalulekile ukumamela umzimba wakho. Kodwa njengoko iintsuku ziqhubeka, ndaqhubeka nohambo lwam (ngamanye amaxesha ndihamba nentombi yam kumhambi ohambahambayo, ngezinye iintsuku ndedwa ndibulela umyeni okanye umakhulu notatomkhulu ababenokumjonga). Ngezinye iintsuku ndandiwenza nje ujikeleze indlu, ezinye iintsuku ndisiqingatha semayile, ekugqibeleni imayile. Kungekudala, ndakwazi ukongeza ukuqeqeshwa kwamandla okukhanya, ngokunjalo. (Idibeneyo: Abafazi abaninzi basebenzela ukuLungiselela ukukhulelwa)

Oku kuzilolonga kwandinceda ndacoca ingqondo yam kwaye kwandishiya ndomelele emzimbeni wam ngelixa yayiphola kwezi veki zakuqala. Kwanemizuzu eyi-15 okanye engama-30 yandinceda ndaziva ndingumntu wam omdala kwaye yandinceda ukuba ndibe ngumama ongcono, kwakhona: Ukubuya kwam, ndandinamandla angakumbi, imbono entsha, nokuzithemba ngakumbi (singasathethi ke ukuba yayisisizathu sokwenza nantoni na. phuma endlwini-kufuneka i-mamas entsha!).

Emva kwemini ndabuya kwidinga lam leeveki ezintandathu emva kokubeleka, ndaya kubaleka okokuqala kwiinyanga ezine ngelixa umama ebukele intombi yam. Ndibaleke imayile enye ngesantya esisezantsi kunayo nantoni na endakha ndangena kuyo. Ekugqibeleni, ndaziva ngathi andizukuya phambili, kodwa ndiyenzile kwaye ndaziva ndikulungele ukuyenza. Xa ndibuya ndibilile, ndifunqule umntanam naye wancuma naye.

Inyani yile, ngelixa linomvuzo, ixesha lasemva kokubeleka linokuba nzima ngokwenene. Inokudinisa, imvakalelo, idideke, yoyike-uluhlu luyaqhubeka. Kwaye kum, ukomelela bekusoloko kuyinxalenye yendlela ebendisoloko ndiyoyisa ngayo imiqobo yengqondo. Ukugcina umthambo njengenxalenye yenkqubo yam yesiqhelo (funda: xa ndinako kwaye xa ndiyifuna) kuyandinceda ukuba ndizive ndiqhubeka nokuziva ndikwimeko entle, njengoko kwakunjalo ngexa lokukhulelwa. (Idibeneyo: Iimpawu ezifihlakeleyo zoxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka Akufanele ungazihoyi)

Ukusebenza ngaphandle kukwabeka isiseko sokuba intombi yam indibone ukuba ndingubani: umntu oyikhathaleleyo impilo yakhe nokuba sempilweni kwaye ofuna ukuyibeka phambili. Ngapha koko, ngeli lixa ndisebenzela mna ngokuqinisekileyo (ndinetyala!), ndiyamenzela loo nto. Umthambo yinto endinethemba lokuyonwabela naye ngenye imini, kwaye ndifuna andibone ndilandela ezam iinjongo zempilo kunye nokomelela.

Ndifuna ukuba nakho ukuba yeyona nto ibalaseleyo, ezolileyo, eyonwabileyo kuye. Nantsi ke into: Leyoyenza kubandakanya ukuqinisekisa ukuba ndilala. Ukulala ngelixa umntwana elelengu ingcebiso enkulu-kwaye inokukunika amandlaukubilangelixa umntwana elele iOkulandelayo ixesha uzolile ukulala. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukusebenza xa ulele ngokupheleleyo kwaye ungalali ngokupheleleyo? Ecaleni kokungenakwenzeka (kunye nokudibanisa, akukhuselekanga). Ngezo mini xa ndandileqa iiyure ezimbini ukuya kwezintathu ndilele — kwaye zazininzi — ubunokundifumana ebhedini kunasejimini ngelixa intombi yam izolile. Kodwa njengokuba intombi yam iqala ukulala ubusuku bonke (kunkqonkqozwa emthini!) Kwaye ngeentsuku zokuba ndilale ngokulala kancinci emini, ndaye ndasindiswa ngokupheleleyo kukuzilolonga ekhaya iividiyo, iintsimbi zasimahla kunye neetoni yosapho oluhlala kufutshane onokugcina umntwana.

Ubutyala bukamama yinto esiva *kakhulu* ngayo. Kulula ukuziva unetyala xa ubuyela emsebenzini, xa ubaleka, heck, xa uphefumla ngaphandle kwendlu kude nomncinci wakho. Ingumbono obaxiweyo kodwa uyinyani. Ndiyakuva, nam. Kodwa xa ndisenza izinto endizaziyo zindinceda ndibeke unyawo lwam phambili—ndize ndibe ngoyena mntu nomama endinokuba nguye—andisaziva ndinetyala.

Nge-Okthobha, ndingunozakuzaku womdyarho weReebok Boston 10K yaBasetyhini. Lugqatso lwendlela oluqhubela phambili ukusukela kwiminyaka yoo-70s, lukhuthaza abasetyhini ukuba babeke umgangatho ophezulu kwaye baxoshe iinjongo zabo zempilo kunye nokuqina. Amabhinqa amaninzi abaleka ugqatso ekunye neentombi okanye oonina. Ugqatso lusenokwenzeka ukuba ngowona mgama umde ndiza kuwubaleka oko ndabeleka ngoJuni. Ukuba ulungile, intombi yam iya kundijoyina kumqhubi wenqwelomoya, nayo. Ukuba akukho njalo? Uyakuba kumgca wokugqibela. (Idibeneyo: Ndilusebenzisa njani uthando lwam lokuQiniseka ukufundisa umntwana wam ukonwabela ukuzivocavoca)

Ndifuna akhule efunda ukwenza izinto azithandayo—izinto ezimenza onwabe aze abe sempilweni; izinto ezimenza azive ephila. Ndifuna asukele ezo zinto, azilwele, azinandiphe, angaze acele uxolo okanye azive enetyala ngokuzenza—yaye eyona ndlela ibalaseleyo endinokumbonisa ngayo oko kukwenza ngokwam.

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