Isizathu seNzululwazi sokuba uthiye uSuku lweValentine

Umxholo

• Imichiza ye-Neurochemicals kuBongo bakho
• Impendulo Yakho Yendalo Kuko Konke Okwabelwana Ngayo
• Kakhulu ~Okwenyani~ Iintlungu ezivela kwiNtliziyo eyaphukileyo
• Uphengululo lwe

Yilelo xesha lonyaka-yonke into, ukusuka kwiibhaluni ukuya kwindebe yebhotolo yamandongomane, imile okweentliziyo. Usuku lweValentine lukufuphi. Kwaye nangona iholide ibangela abanye abantu ukuba baxhamle luvuyo njengamanzi ebhafini eshushu emile okwentliziyo, abanye bayakruquka xa bebona uFebruwari 14 kwikhalenda. Amathuba ukuba ucofe eli bali, ukulo qela lokugqibela.

AWUKHO wedwa. An Elite Yonke imihla Uphando olwenziwa kuma-415 millennials lwafumanisa ukuba i-28 pesenti yabasetyhini kunye ne-35 pesenti yamadoda yaziva ingakhathali malunga noSuku lweValentine.

Kukho izizathu ezininzi esithanda ukuzonda ngazo i-14 kaFebruwari, kuchaza uLaurie Essig, Ph.D., unjingalwazi wentlalontle kwiKholeji yaseMiddlebury kunye nombhali we Uthando, Inc: Ukuthandana kweeNkqubo, uMtshato oMkhulu oMhlophe, kunye nokuSukela uNwabileyo ongasokuze ubekho.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, urhwebo luyinxalenye yalo.Kodwa xa abantu baziva kakubi ngoSuku lweValentine, ngokuqhelekileyo ngenxa yokulindela okuphezulu kwemini ibeka-zombini kwabo bangatshatanga kwaye balinde umfana okanye intombazana yamaphupha abo ukuba eze kunye nabo babudlelwane, nabo. "Nokuba ukhe wadibana 'naleya,' kusafuneka ujongane neenkqwithela zesilo kunye nezinto eziyinyani emhlabeni," u-sys Essig. "Usuku lukaValentine sisi thembiso sonyaka esixakileyo, kwaye abanye bethu baziva bengonwabanga ngaso."

Oku kuphoxeka kunokuchazwa, ngokuyinxenye, yinzululwazi. Ewe, zikhona izizathu ezisemthethweni zokungawuthandi uSuku lweValentine ngaphandle nje kokukrokra okanye ukujija. Apha, sichitha izizathu ezimbalwa-kwaye sibonelela ngezisombululo zoloyiso lwengqondo emva kwesizathu sokuba ucinge ngokucinga ngothando ngeli xesha lonyaka.

Imichiza ye-Neurochemicals kuBongo bakho

I-Oxytocin yinto ebizwa ngokuba yi-hormone yothando, kwaye iveliswa ikakhulu kwi-hypothalamus. I-neurochemical ibophelela kwi-neurons ebuchosheni kwaye inceda ukunyusa ubudlelwane bentlalo, ukudibanisa ngothando kunye novelwano.

Iingcali zenzululwazi ziye zafumanisa ukuba ingakanani i-oxytocin ekhutshwa ngumntu ngamnye ebotshelelwe kwiigenes-abasetyhini bavame ukukhulula i-oxytocin eninzi kunamadoda, kuchaza uPaul Zak, Ph.D., i-neuroeconomist kwiYunivesithi yaseClaremont Graduate yaseCalifornia. Oku kuyingxenye ngenxa yokuba i-testosterone inqanda ukukhululwa kwe-oxytocin, ukudala "imo yokulawula" kunokuba "imodi yokunamathisela."

Ingakanani "ihomoni yothando" ekhutshiweyo ikwabotshelelwa kubuntu bakho-abantu abavumelanayo nabanovelwano bakhupha i-oxytocin eninzi, uchaza uZak. Kodwa oku kunokutshintsha kwakhona imihla ngemihla, kuxhomekeke kwimeko yakho kunye nezinto zangaphandle. "Kukho abantu abangayikhuphi i-oxytocin eninzi emva konxibelelwano oluhle noluntu, bathi ukuwola okanye ukuncoma," ucacisa. "Aba bantu banokuba nosuku olubi kakhulu. Uxinzelelo luvimbela ingqondo ekwenzeni i-oxytocin eninzi, ukusuka kwinqanaba leselula, "uchaza. "Ewe ewe, abanye abantu ngekhe babenakho ukonwabela i-V-Day, ngokuyinxenye, ngenxa yoku."

Kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba aba bantu abanakwenza izinto ukuzama ukwandisa i-oxytocin engqondweni.

Kwenziwe ntoni: UZak uthi ukuba ujonge ukutshintsha isimo sakho sengqondo malunga neholide, eyona ndlela ingcono yokuva uthando (kunye ne-oxytocin) kukunika iqabane lakho (ukuba uthandana), umzali, isilwanyana sasekhaya, okanye umhlobo. Ufumana into oyinikayo xa kuziwa kwincindi yamadlala. "Kunzima kakhulu ukuba umntu ngamnye anyuse eyakhe i-oxytocin, kodwa angasinika eso sipho. Ukuba unika abo bakungqongileyo uthando kwaye ubakhathalele, iyabakhuthaza ukuba banike okufanayo nakuwe," utshilo uZak.

Kukho ezinye iindlela ezixhaswe yisayensi zokutshintsha indlela ii-neurochemicals zakho ezibophelela ngayo kwii-neurons zakho ukuvelisa i-oxytocin engaphezulu, njenge "ngqondo yokusetha kwakhona," utsho uZak. "Ungahlala ebhafini eshushu uphumle (umoya oshushu uphakamisa i-oxytocin), ucamngce, uhambe nomntu, okanye wenze into enomdla neyoyikisayo kunye neqabane ukutshisa uxinzelelo kunye nokukhuthaza i-oxytocin: Khwela i-roller coaster! Thatha ukukhwela ihelikopta! " Okanye zama ukuzilolonga ngokutsha kunye nezinye ezibalulekileyo. (Iinzuzo zokwabelana ngesondo emva kokusebenza zifanelekile.)

Nokuba awutshatanga, ukuzama ezi zinto nabahlobo kunye nosapho kunokunceda ufumane i-oxytocin yakho kunye noxinzelelo (kwaye mhlawumbi nentiyo yakho yeV-Day) iphantsi.

Impendulo Yakho Yendalo Kuko Konke Okwabelwana Ngayo

Eli xesha lonyaka lithande ukukhuthaza iPDA kunye nokukhupha izithuba zeFacebook kunye ne-Instagram. Ukuziphatha okunje kunokubangela abagxeki be-V-Day, kwaye olunye uphononongo lweYunivesithi yaseMntla-ntshona lunokukhomba ukuba kutheni.

Uphando oluvela eNyakatho-ntshona lufumanise ukuba abantu ababekhe babelana malunga nolwalamano lwabo kuFacebook babengathandeki. Ukugqithisa kuthetha okungaphezulu kokwabelana ngomfanekiso ngamanye amaxesha kunye nomntu omthandayo-ngamanqanaba aphezulu okubhengeza, yithi, dlala ngokudlala komhla woSuku lweValentine ebusuku. (I-FYI, nazi iindlela ezintlanu ezothusayo kwimithombo yeendaba ezinokunceda ubudlelwane bakho.)

Kwaye, hayi. Ayisiyo kuphela into yokuba ngabantu abangatshatanga abakrelekrele olu hlobo lokuziphatha-akukho mntu uyithandayo.

"Asifumananga mahluko phakathi kwababukeli abangatshatanga kunye nabo bebesebudlelwaneni ngokwendlela ababathanda ngayo abantu abagqithisa ulwazi ngobudlelwane," utshilo umbhali-mbhali wophononongo, uLydia Emery. "Akubonakali ngathi ngabantu abangatshatanga abanomona okanye abanomsindo-kubonakala ngathi wonke umntu akathandi ukwabelana ngokugqithisileyo."

Kwenziwe ntoni: Ngelixa ungenakuziphepha ngokupheleleyo izibini ezitshatileyo esitratweni okanye eso sithandwa siphumeleleyo esithwele ingxilimbela yebhere kuloliwe ohamba ngaphantsi komhlaba, kukho amanyathelo onokuwathatha ukuze uvumele oku kwabelana ngokugqithisileyo kubomi bakho.

Yenza i-detox yemidiya yoluntu kwinyanga kaFebruwari. Ukwenza njalo kunokwenza wonwabe ngakumbi kule holide-isifundo esivela kubaphandi kwiYunivesithi yaseNew York kunye neYunivesithi yaseStanford bafumanise ukuba ukwenza i-Facebook iiveki ezine kuphela zenze ukuba abantu baxele ukuphucuka kwinqanaba labo lolonwabo. Ukuba oko kuvakala kugqithisile, zama ukuzibekela umda kwimizuzu eli-10 yokukhangela kwi-Instagram yonke imihla. (Kukho ezinye izibonelelo zokunciphisa ixesha lakho lesikrini, kananjalo.)

Kakhulu ~Okwenyani~ Iintlungu ezivela kwiNtliziyo eyaphukileyo

Kulungile-nantsi le ubuyilindile. Ukuqhuma kwentengiso ebomvu nepinki naphina apho ujika khona ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo kunokubangela iingcinga ngothando ngaphakathi kobomi bakho. Ukuba ujongene nokuhlukana okanye uthando olungathandabuzekiyo, iholide inokubangela intlungu. Ewe, intlungu yokwenene.

Ingqondo yethu ayisiniki ndlela ilula yokuphuma kolo ngquzulwano okanye ukuhlala sodwa ekuhlaleni xa umntu engabuyiseli iimvakalelo, utshilo uZak. "Kwaye loo mvakalelo yokuzahlula kunye nengxabano icutshungulwa ngendlela efanayo kwingqondo njengoko iintlungu zomzimba zicutshungulwa, nge-matrix yethu yeentlungu."

Ngamanye amazwi, uthando lubuhlungu ngokwenene, kwaye uSuku lweValentine lunokuba sisikhumbuzo esingekho ngqiqweni soku.

Kwenziwe ntoni: UZak uthi enye yeendlela zokunyanga le ntlungu ibuyela kwi-oxytocin. "I-Oxytocin yintlungu," utsho. "Izifundo ezininzi zibonisa ukuba kunciphisa intlungu ngokunciphisa umsebenzi kwi-matrix yeentlungu."

Ukuba awutshatanga, uphakamisa amanqanaba akho, yithi, ukuba nepati yoSuku lweGalentine kunokunceda ekuchitheni iimvakalelo zakho ezingalunganga malunga neholide kunye nokuphakamisa amanqanaba e-oxytocin. "Ngokwenene yinto entle ukuba nepati kwaye uhambe nabahlobo bakho," utshilo uZak. "Emva koko buyela kwibhodi yokuzoba kunyaka olandelayo. Abantu akufuneki banikezele [ekufumaneni uthando]."

Uphengululo lwe