Ndafumana Uthando Lobomi Bam Xa Ndafunda Ukuzithanda

Umxholo

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Ukukhula, zazimbini izinto endandizabalaza ukuziqonda: ukuthanda umzimba wakho nokuba kulwalamano olusempilweni. Ndathi xa ndigqiba iminyaka engama-25, ndandinobunzima obungaphezulu kwama-280 eeponti kwaye ndandikwimihla emithathu kanye kanye ubomi bam bonke-enye yayo yayiyi-prom yam ephezulu ... apho ndathatha umntu omtsha. Yayingelulo olo thando ndandiluphuphile, kodwa ndandicinga ukuba lukude lee kunokufikelela kum. Ukuba andijonganga njengenkosazana ecekethekileyo, ndingayilindela njani inkwenkwezi kubomi bam bokwenyani?

De kube ngoko, ndazama ngayo yonke indlela endandicinga ngayo ukunciphisa umzimba, ndohlwaya umzimba wam ngokutya okunekhalori ephantsi kakhulu kunye nomthambo onzima. Kwaye ndicinga ukuba ndilahlekile abanye ubunzima. Ingxaki, nangona kunjalo, yayikukugcina. Xa ndiyekile ukohlwaya umzimba wam, ndiza kubuyisa ubunzima emva koko ndiqale umjikelo kwakhona. Ke ngoku phakathi kwamashumi amabini, bendigqityiwe nge-roller coaster. Andinakuyenza loo nto kum-bekukho indlela ebhetele.

Ndiqale ukufunda iincwadi ezibhalwe ngabafazi abomeleleyo, abakrelekrele (endibathandayo yayinguGeneen Roth) owayejamelene nohambo olufana nolwam kwaye wayephume kwelinye icala onwabe ngakumbi kwaye ephelele kunakuqala. Nokuba aba bafazi baphulukene nobunzima na, nokuba bazinikele ekuthandeni bona kunye nobomi babo nokuba bungakanani na ubungakanani babo. Akuzange kuthathe xesha lide ukuba ndiyiqonde le nto kanye bendiyifuna ubomi bam bonke. Ndamangaliswa; ukwamkelwa komzimba kwakuyinto yokwenyani!

Kwakukho izinto ezininzi zokufunda ukuwuthanda ngokwenene umzimba wam. Ndaqalisa ukunxiba kakuhle emsebenzini kuba ndandingasahlali ekuseni ndizibetha. Ndiqale ukukhathalela indlela endijongeka ngayo kuba ndifuna ukubonakala ndilungile, hayi kuba bendikhathalele ukuba omnye umntu ucinga ukuba itop yam indenza ndibonakale ndityebile. Ndiyazi ukuba ndiza kuwuthanda umzimba wam kwaye ndibonise ukuzihlonipha, kufuneka ndiwukhathalele, ke, ndiye ndagxila ekutyeni ukutya okusempilweni nasekuzilolongeni ngobunono yonke imihla njengendlela yokubonisa uthando kumzimba wam . Yayilutshintsho olukhulu, kwaye ukuzithemba kunye nolonwabo lwaphuma ngaphandle kuyo yonke into endiyenzayo ... kubandakanywa nokuthandana.

Ngexesha lokutya kwam, ndiye ndazama ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi amaxesha ambalwa, ndidibana nabafana abambalwa abadwebileyo kwaye ndihamba nemihla yokuqala engathandekiyo engazange ijike ibe yimizuzwana. Nokuba uphantsi kwezona meko zintle, ukuthandana kunokuba ngamava anzima. Xa uzithemba, kunokuba kubi ngakumbi. Ndaye ndagula kukufumana imiyalezo evela kubafana abahle, abanomdla abathanda intloko yam badubula kodwa baya kuba sisiporho emva kokuba ndibathumele ifoto epheleleyo. Ndifumene umyalezo wabo ngokuvakalayo nangokucacileyo. Babengacingi ukuba ndilufanele uthando lwabo.

Umahluko ngoku wokuba ndiqalise ukuqonda ixabiso lam? Khange ndisabakholelwa. Ndigqibile ukuziva ngathi kufuneka ndizixolise ngobungakanani bam ngokungathi kufuneka ndamkele nayiphi na imvuthuluka yothando ephoswe endleleni yam. Ke ngokuthanda, ndathabatha ukuthandana kwam ndaya eCraigslist. Ndabhala i-tirade equka izibakala ezifana nenokuthi ndingacaphula Utatomkhulu, Ndithanda ukubukela ibhola, ndazi uninzi lwee-oldies ngentloko, ndingumpheki omangalisayo, kunye nomfundi okhutheleyo-oh, kwaye nam ndinxiba ubungakanani be-14/16. Ukuba unomdla wothando onokubakho unengxaki kuloo nto, ndibhale, kufuneka baqhubeke kwaye bangachithi xesha lam. Khange ndithethe njengentengiso yokuthandana (ngakumbi nje indawo yedijithali yokuphuma), kodwa okwandothusayo kukuba, ndafumana itoni yeempendulo, enye yazo yayiyeyona ibalaseleyo. Kwelinye, wayenokupela kwaye asebenzise igrama echanekileyo. Owu, kwaye akazange afake ifoto yelungu lakhe langasese-ekugqibeleni. Kodwa ngaphezulu koko, xa ndifunda impendulo yakhe, ndaziva ngathi lo mfo angangumhlobo olungileyo.

"Umhla" wam wokuqala noRob ibingumhla ophindwe kabini ngeloxesha athethe nelizwi kum kwaye ndaphela ndivana ngcono nomhlobo wakhe (owayengatshatanga) kunaye. Kodwa emva kwenyanga yokubhalela omnye nomnye imini yonke, yonke imihla, sagqiba kwelokuba siphume siye kumhla wokwenyani, sisobabini kuphela. Ngesi sihlandlo yayingamava ahluke ngokupheleleyo. Saqalisa ukuncokola, yaye emva kweminyaka eli-11 asikayeki. Kulungile, ubuhlobo bethu beCraigslist bakhula ngokukhawuleza eluthandweni kwaye satshata ngo-2008.

Ngelixa iindlela zam # zokuzithanda kunye # lovelo bezintle kwaye zimnandi, andifuni ukuba ucinge kwakulula. . ukuthanda umzimba wam. Incede, nangona kunjalo, ukuba intshukumo yolwamkelo lomzimba wedijithali yaqala ukusuka ngelo xesha, kwaye ngenxa yolo tshintsho, ndifumene abanye abafazi abaninzi endinokunxulumana nabo kwaye bafunde kubo. Ndababona bephila ubomi ngokuzeleyo yonke imihla-iimpahla zabo, isimo sabo sengqondo, uncumo lwabo olubanzi bendixelela ukuba kulungile ukuzonwabisa kwaye nokonwaba nokuba bungakanani ubungakanani bejee yam.

Eyona nto yayinzima yayikukufunda ukuba ndingaphinde ndiwubone umzimba wam ngeliso leentlondi okanye amakhwenkwe awayengafuni kuthandana nam. Ngenxa yokuba masinyaniseke, xa ujonge amashumi eminyaka eengcamango ezingalunganga kunye neendlela zokuziphatha, awukwazi ukucima yonke into ngosuku. Ekuqaleni, uthando lomzimba lwalubonakala njengenye intsomi-yinyani kwabanye, kodwa kungekhona kum. Kwathatha umsebenzi omninzi, ububele, kunye nomonde kum ukuze ndifikelele kwinqanaba apho ndinokuthi ndibhale eso sithuba seCraigslist.

Kodwa ayisiyonto yenzekileyo ukuba xa ndasifumana isibindi (kunye nokwamkelwa), ndade ndalufumana uthando lobomi bam. Kwafuneka ndifunde ukuzithanda ngaphambi kokuba ndamkele uthando lokwenene komnye umntu. Ukuzithemba, ukuzihlonipha, kunye nesimo sengqondo somgaqo-nkqubo wokungazinyamezeli endikhupheleyo yile nto ithi umyeni wam utsalele kum kwasekuqaleni. Kutshanje xa ndimbuza ukuba kutheni endithanda, uphendule wathi, "Nguwe, ipakethe yonke. Ulumkile, uyahlekisa, umhle, uyandithanda ngentliziyo yakho iphela. Zonke iinxalenye zakho zikwenza ukuba ube yile nto uyiyo." Kwaye elona candelo lilungileyo? Ndiyamkholelwa.

Ukufumana okungakumbi ngohambo lukaJennifer, jonga incwadi yakhe ethi Delicious, okanye umlandele kuTwitter nakuFacebook.

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