‘Ndingubani?’ Unokuzifumana Njani Ingqondo Yakho?

Umxholo

• Kutheni kubaluleke kangaka
• Ukungena kunye nokuziva kwakho
• Ngaba ndiyavuma ukonwabisa abanye?
• Ziziphi iimpawu zam ezintle?
• Yintoni endizisela ulonwabo?
• Athini amaxabiso am? Ngaba ndibuphila ubomi bam ngokufanelekileyo?
• Ngaba ukhetho lwam lubonisa umdla wam okanye omnye umntu?
• Izinto ezinokuba nefuthe kwindlela oziva ngayo
• Ukwahlula
• Isinamathiselo
• Umnqweno wokufuna ukwamkeleka
• Ukwakha ukuqonda okuqinisekileyo
• Chaza imilinganiselo yakho
• Yenza ukhetho lwakho
• Chitha ixesha wedwa
• Cinga ngendlela yokufezekisa iinjongo zakho
• Ungalufumana nini uncedo
• Umgca wezantsi

Ukuziva kwakho kubhekisa kumbono wakho wokuqokelelwa kweempawu ezichazayo.

Iimpawu zobuntu, ubuchule, ukuthanda kunye nokungathandi, inkqubo yakho yenkolelo okanye ikhowudi yokuziphatha, kunye nezinto ezikukhuthazayo- zonke ezi zinto zinegalelo ekuzimele okanye kubuntu bakho obubodwa.

Abantu abanokuyichaza ngokulula le miba yesazisi banesimo esomeleleyo sokuba bangobani. Ukuzabalaza ukubiza ngaphezulu kweempawu ezimbalwa kunokubonisa ukungazichazi.

Awunakuchitha ixesha elininzi ucinga ngokuzazi kwakho, kodwa isachaphazela ubomi bakho. Ukwazi ukuba ungubani kukuvumela ukuba uphile ngenjongo kunye nokuphuhlisa ubudlelwane obonelisayo, zombini ezinokuthi zibe negalelo kwimpilo entle yeemvakalelo.

Unomdla wokuphonononga izibonelelo zengqondo echazwe kakuhle yesiqu sakho? Ukukhangela iingcebiso kuphuhliso lwesazisi sakho? Ufikile kwindawo efanelekileyo.

Kutheni kubaluleke kangaka

Abanye abantu banokwenza ukuba kude kude ebomini ngaphandle kokunika isazisi sabo kakhulu nangona. Ke, unokuzibuza, ukuba ngaba ukuzithemba okuqinisekileyo ngokwakho kuyawenza umahluko?

Ngaba kunjalo.

U-Erika Myers, umcebisi onelayisensi e-Bend, e-Oregon, uyacacisa:

“Ukuzazi kakuhle kuluncedo olukhulu ekusincedeni sikwazi ukukhetha ebomini. Ukusuka kwinto encinci njengokutya esikuthandayo ukuya kwiinkxalabo ezinkulu ezinje ngamaxabiso ethu, ukwazi ukuba yintoni evela kuthi buqu xa kuthelekiswa nezinto ezivela kwabanye kusivumela ukuba siphile ngokwenyani. ”

Umzobo wakho unokukwazisa ukuxabiseka kwakho. Awufezekanga (ngubani?), Kodwa usenexabiso elikhulu.

Ukuzazi kukwenza kube lula ukwamkela isiqu sakho, zombini iimpawu ozingcayo kunye nezo ungathanda ukuziphucula. Ukuba uziva ungonelisekanga ziinkalo ezithile zakho, uya kuba nexesha elilula lokujongana nezo ndawo xa unemvakalelo eyomeleleyo yendalo kunye nobuchule bakho.

Ukunqongophala kokuziva ngokucacileyo, kwelinye icala, kuhlala kunzima ukwenza into oyifunayo. Ukuba uziva ungaqinisekanga okanye ungazithembi xa kufika ixesha lokwenza ukhetho olubalulekileyo, usenokugqibela usokola ukwenza naluphi na ukhetho.

Ngenxa yoko, unokuhamba nje ubomi, uhanjiswe ngabanye abantu kunye neemeko kunokuba ukhawuleze. Oku kuhlala kukhokelela kukungoneliseki, kwanaxa kungekho nto ithile ibonakala ingalunganga kwaye awukwazi ukufumanisa oyena nobangela wokungonwabi kwakho.

Ukungena kunye nokuziva kwakho

Ke, ingqiqo yakho yokuzimela iwela phi kububanzi?

Mhlawumbi uqaphele indlela yokwenza ukhetho olusekwe kwinto ocinga ukuba abanye abantu bafuna kuwe. Okanye mhlawumbi awunamabhongo amaninzi okanye iinkanuko ezinzulu kwaye uziva nje umxholo ukuba uhamba nokuhamba.

Ukuzibuza le mibuzo ingezantsi kunokunika ukuqonda.

Ngaba ndiyavuma ukonwabisa abanye?

Kulungile ngokwaneleyo ukulungiselela abanye ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa ukuba uhlala uvuma into efunwa ngabanye, ngekhe uphilele wena. Ukuchaza ubukhulu becala ngobuhlobo bakho nabanye okanye ukukwazi kwakho ukukholisa abantu obathandayo kungacebisa ukuba ungaziphuhlisi kangako.

Ziziphi iimpawu zam ezintle?

Imvakalelo yokuzimela ixhomekeke ekungazini nje kuphela amandla akho kodwa nokukholelwa kubuchule bakho bokuwasebenzisa ukufezekisa iinjongo zakho.

Ukuba nesiphatho esihle kwiitalente zakho kunye nokuzandisa kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla kuhlala kuthetha ukuba uzonwabile.

Yintoni endizisela ulonwabo?

Yintoni ekuncedayo uphumle kwaye uzonwabise? Zeziphi izinto endizithandayo okanye ezenza ukuba ubomi bube nenjongo?

Wonke umntu unezinto ezimbalwa kwaye abantu ebomini abafuni ukuzitshintsha okanye baphulukane nazo, kwaye ukuchonga aba bantu babalulekileyo kunye nezinto abanokuzifuna banokukuxelela okuninzi ngawe.

Athini amaxabiso am? Ngaba ndibuphila ubomi bam ngokufanelekileyo?

Ukuqaqanjiswa kwamaxabiso obuqu kunokuhamba indlela ende ekucaciseni indlela oziva ngayo. Iimpawu zichaza iimpawu ozibeka phambili kuwe okanye kwabanye-uvelwano, ukuthembeka, ukuthembeka, ububele, njalo njalo.

Ngaba ukhetho lwam lubonisa umdla wam okanye omnye umntu?

Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba uza kuwuphendula njani lo mbuzo, jonga kwelinye icala: Ngaba ubuya kwenza ukhetho olufanayo ukuba uwedwa? Izigqibo ikakhulu ezisekwe kwiminqweno yakho kunye neenjongo zakho ngokwakho zibonisa imeko yokuqina ngokwakho.

Izinto ezinokuba nefuthe kwindlela oziva ngayo

Yithi unengxaki ekuphenduleni le mibuzo ingentla.

"Ndingubani, ngokwenene? ” usenokuzibuza, mhlawumbi ngoxinzelelo oluthile.

Isenokukuqinisekisa ukuba ufunde ukuba ayisiyonto iqhelekileyo ukuba nemvakalelo ethile engacacanga yesiqu sakho. Oku akuthethi ukuba wenze nantoni na engalunganga okanye ukuba umiselwe ukuba uphile ubomi bakho ngaphandle kwesazisi esicacileyo.

Ukuqonda okungcono kwezinto ezidlala indima ekwenziweni kwemifanekiso yakho kunokukunceda ukuba uqale uyiqinise.

Ukwahlula

Ukwahlula, okanye inkqubo apho uziphucula khona ngokwakho, iqala ebuntwaneni. Ukuzenzela umntu ngamnye ngempumelelo, abantwana bafuna igumbi lokuphonononga, ukufunda, kunye nokubonisa iimfuno kunye neminqweno.

"Xa sikhuthazwa ukuba sibonise ubuntu bethu ngaphandle kweentloni okanye ukuziva sinetyala, sinokukwazi ukuziqonda," utshilo uMersers.

Ukuba iinzame zakho zokuzibonakalisa zifumana ukugxekwa okanye ukohlwaywa ngabazali, abahlobo, okanye nabani na ongomnye, unokuphendula ngokungahoyi indlela oziva ngayo. Ingabonakala ikhuselekile kwaye iluncedo ngakumbi ukuzihlenga kwakhona ubengumntu owamkeleke ngokulula.

Isinamathiselo

Ubudlelwane bakho nabazali bakho okanye abo bakukhathalelayo ngokuyintloko budlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuqondeni kwakho kolunye ubudlelwane kamva ebomini. Ukuncamathiselwa okungakhuselekanga kunokuchaphazela kungekuphela ukukhula kwesazisi sakho kodwa nokuziphatha kwakho kubudlelwane babantu abadala abathandanayo.

Imiba yokuncamathisela inokubanzima ngandlela ithile, kodwa nantsi irundown ekhawulezayo kwindlela abanxibelelana ngayo nemvakalelo yesiqu sabo.

Xa uziva ungaqinisekanga ngabakhathaleli bakho uthando olungenamiqathango kunye nokwamkelwa, unokulungisa indlela oziphethe ngayo ukuze ufumane ukuvunywa kwabo. Indumiso kunye nothando olubangelwa kukuqinisa inkolelo yokuba ukumodareyitha ulingane nokulindelwa kweyona ndlela ilungileyo (mhlawumbi kuphela) yokuphumelela kubudlelwane.

Le patheni ihlala iqhubeka nokudlala kubudlelwane bakho bexesha elizayo njengoko uthintela iimfuno zakho ukuze uzalisekise iimfuno zamaqabane akho, ubona le kuphela kwendlela yokubambelela kuthando lwabo.

Umnqweno wokufuna ukwamkeleka

Ukuba wawuzabalaza ukuze ulingane noontanga bakho kwinqanaba lokufikisa, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ukufumene kulula ukuthatha indima yoonontlalontle. Endaweni yokubambelela kwimeko yesiqu sakho, waqala ngokutshintsha isazisi sakho ukuze ulunge ngakumbi kumaqela amaninzi.

Ukwamkelwa kunokuba sisikhuthazi esinamandla. Ukuba le meko ingaguquguqukiyo yesiqu sakho ikukhonze kakuhle kwiminyaka yakho yeshumi elivisayo, esi sifundo sinokuhlala kunye nawe de ube mdala.

Unokuthatha umntu othile emsebenzini, omnye xa usapho lwakho, kunye nenye xa uchitha ixesha nabahlobo. Ukutshintsha phakathi kwezi "ziqu" ezahlukeneyo kunokwenza kube nzima ngakumbi ukufumanisa imeko yakho yokwenyani kwaye uzenzele uxinzelelo.

Ukwakha ukuqonda okuqinisekileyo

Ingqondo engazinzanga yesiqu sakho inokukwenza uzive ucabalele kwaye ungazalisekanga, kodwa kuhlala kunokwenzeka ukuphuhlisa umfanekiso ocacileyo wokuzibona.

Zama ezi ndlela zokuqalisa ukuseka isazisi esizimeleyo ngakumbi.

Chaza imilinganiselo yakho

Amaxabiso kunye neenkolelo zobuqu zizinto eziphambili kwisazisi.

Inkqubo yakho yenkolelo inokukunceda uqaphele ezona zinto zibalulekileyo kuwe kwaye unqume ukuba ume phi kwimicimbi ebalulekileyo. Umzekelo, umnqweno wokukhusela amalungelo ezilwanyana unokukhokelela ekukhetheni iimveliso ezingenankohlakalo kwaye wenze ukhetho olunolwazi malunga nokutya okutyayo.

Imilinganiselo inokunceda ukukhokela imida oyibekele abanye ebomini bakho. Ukuba uyakuxabisa ukunyaniseka, umzekelo, unokwenza kucace ukuba awukwazi ukugcina ubudlelwane nomntu okuxokisayo.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uchonge onke amaxabiso akho ngaxeshanye, kodwa zama ukucinga ngezinye ezinokubakho njengoko usiya malunga nosuku lwakho kwaye unxibelelana nehlabathi.

Yenza ukhetho lwakho

Izigqibo zakho kufuneka, ubukhulu becala, zixhamle impilo yakho kunye nokuba sempilweni. Ukuba unomlingane okanye abantwana, uya kufuna kwakhona ukuthatha iimfuno zabo, nangona oko akufanele kubandakanye ukungazinaki.

Khumbula: Xa iimfuno zakho zingahanjiswanga, unezinto ezimbalwa onganikela ngazo kwabanye.

Mhlawumbi uvumele abanye bakwenzele izigqibo ezibalulekileyo ngaphambili - ukhetho lwakho lwekholeji, ikhondo lomsebenzi, okanye indawo yokuhlala. Ukuba kunjalo, unokuziva ungakhululekanga, kwaye usoyike, ukuqala ukuzenzela izigqibo.

Kulungile ukuqala kancinci, nangona kunjalo. Ziqhelise ukwenza izinto kuba wena ufuna ukuzenza, ngaphandle kokucela igalelo kwabanye.

Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ukufuna ukhokelo kwabanye akuthethi ukuba awunangqondo. Kuphilile ngokupheleleyo-nokuba bubulumko - ukuthetha ngezigqibo ezinzima nabantu obathandayo. Ekupheleni kosuku, kubalulekile ukwenza ukhetho olulungele wena, ngaphandle kwezimvo zabo.

Chitha ixesha wedwa

Xa ufuna ukwazi umntu, uchitha ixesha kunye naye, akunjalo? Oku kulandela ke, ukuba ukuzazi ngcono kuya kubandakanya ixesha elisemgangathweni wedwa.

Isenokuziva ingaqhelekanga ekuqaleni, kodwa kusempilweni ukuthatha ixesha ngaphandle kwabanye, nkqu nosapho lwakho okanye iqabane.

Sebenzisa eli xesha nangona uthanda. Ukuba ungathanda ukwandisa ukuzihlola, zama:

• ukuzama izinto ezintsha zokuzonwabisa
• ngokuzithandela
• ukufunda ezinye iincwadi
• ukucamngca
• ukugcina ingxelo

Cinga ngendlela yokufezekisa iinjongo zakho

ucebisa ukuba umahluko phakathi kwesiqu sakho esifanelekileyo (ocinga ukuba ungubani) kunye nesiqu sakho (ungubani kanye kanye) unokuba negalelo kwiimvakalelo zokungoneliseki, kwanokudakumba.

Ngamanye amagama, ukwazi ukuba ungubani kunokuba kungonelanga, nangona sisiqalo esihle kakhulu. Ukusilela ukuhlonipha le mvakalelo yesiqu sakho kunokuba nefuthe elibi kwimpilo yakho yeemvakalelo.

Nje ukuba ubonakalise isiqu sakho, cinga ngento onokuyenza ukulungelelanisa ubomi bakho nesazisi sakho. Unokwenza, umzekelo, zibuze ukuba loluphi utshintsho onokulwenza kubomi bakho bobuchwephesha okanye ekusebenzisaneni nabanye.

Ungalufumana nini uncedo

Ingaziva intle kakhulu ukuba ichaze indlela oziva ngayo, ngakumbi ukuba awuzange unike isazisi sakho ingcinga enkulu.

Ukuba uziva ubambekile, cinga ngokufikelela kwingcali yezempilo yengqondo ukuze ufumane isikhokelo. Unyango unokunika inkxaso ngoxinzelelo lweemvakalelo olunxulumene nokuzazi kwakho, njenge:

• ukuzijongela phantsi
• ukudakumba
• ixhala
• ukungonwabi okungapheliyo okubangelwa kukungoneliseki ngobomi
• Indawo yokusebenzela okanye ubudlelwane obuxhalabisayo

Nokuba awunazo naziphi na iimpawu zempilo yengqondo, unyango luseseyindawo entle yokuqala inkqubo yokuzihlola.

Unyango unga:

• chonga amaxabiso
• tyhila imiba yokuncamathisela okanye iipateni zobudlelwane ezinengxaki
• funda kwaye uqhelisele izakhono zokwenza izigqibo
• ukuphonononga nokulungisa iimfuno ezingafezekiswanga
• sebenza ngayo nayiphi na inkxalabo yobudlelwane enxulumene nokuzimela

Unxibelelwano phakathi kwempilo yengqondo kunye nokuzithemba okungazinzanga ngokwakho kuhamba ngeendlela zombini. Imiba enxulumene nesazisi sakho, njengokungaqondakali, ukutshintsha rhoqo, okanye umfanekiso ogqwethekileyo, ngamanye amaxesha kunokwenzeka njengophawu loku:

• Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu obunemida
• Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu
• isazisi sokuzahlula kunye nokunye ukuphazamiseka okungafaniyo
• schizophrenia
• Uxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo lwasemva (PTSD)

Ezi meko zinokuba nzulu, kodwa zona are iyanyangeka. Ingcali eqeqeshiweyo yezempilo yengqondo inokukunceda uphonononge ezinye iimpawu kwaye unikeze isikhokelo kukhetho lonyango.

Umgca wezantsi

Ingcamango "yokuzimela" ayisoloko kulula ukuyiqonda, ngokuyinxalenye ngenxa yokuba ubunikazi bakho buyatshintsha kwaye bukhula ngaphezu kobomi njengoko ufunda kwaye ukhula.

Kuqhelekile ukuba namaxesha athile okudideka okanye ukuzithemba. Xa uhlala uziva ungonelisekanga okanye usokola ukubiza iimfuno zakho kunye neminqweno, cinga ukuthatha ixesha lokuzifumanisa ngokwakho.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.