Ndingawuyekelanga njani uMhlaza ukuba undiyeke ndiphumelele (Onke amaXesha ali-9)

Umxholo

• Loo magama mathathu oyikisayo
• Kuthetha ntoni ukusinda komhlaza?
• Ukuchuma ngelixa ubulawa ngumhlaza
• Ndiza kuqhubeka ndichuma

Imifanekiso yeWebhu nguRuth Basagoitia

Ukusinda kumhlaza akunto ilula. Ukwenza kanye kunokuba yeyona nto inzima owakha wayenza. Kulungiselelwe abo bakwenzileyo ngaphezu kwesihlandlo esinye, uyazi ngokwakho ukuba ayikhe ibe lula. Kungenxa yokuba isifo ngasinye somhlaza sihlukile kwimiceli mngeni yaso.

Ndiyayazi le nto kuba ndingumntu osindileyo onomhlaza izihlandlo ezisibhozo, kwaye ndiphinde ndalwa nomhlaza okwesithoba. Ndiyazi ukuba ukusinda komhlaza kuyamangalisa, kodwa ukukhula ngomhlaza kubhetele nangakumbi. Kwaye kunokwenzeka.

Ukufunda ukuhlala ngelixa uziva ngathi uyafa yinto engaqhelekanga, kwaye endizimisele ukunceda abanye bayiphumeze. Nantsi indlela endifunde ngayo ukukhula ngomhlaza.

Loo magama mathathu oyikisayo

Xa ugqirha esithi, "Unomhlaza," umhlaba ubonakala ujikeleze. Ukukhathazeka kungena kwangoko. Ungazifumana usindwa yimibuzo efana nale:

• Ngaba ndiya kufuna i-chemotherapy?
• Ngaba ndiza kuphulukana neenwele zam?
• Ngaba ukusasazeka ngemitha kuya kwenzakalisa okanye kutshise?
• Ngaba ndiza kufuna utyando?
• Ngaba ndisazokwazi ukusebenza ngexesha lonyango?
• Ndizokwazi ukuzinakekela nosapho lwam?
• Ngaba ndiza kufa?

Ndiwavile loo magama mathathu oyikisayo amaxesha alithoba ahlukeneyo. Kwaye ndiyavuma, ndizibuze le mibuzo. Ngethuba lokuqala ndandisoyika, ndandingaqinisekanga ukuba ndingakwazi ukuqhuba ndigoduke ngokukhuselekileyo. Ndingene kukothuka kweentsuku ezine. Kodwa emva koko, ndafunda ukwamkela ukuxilongwa, ndizimisele kungekuphela nje ukuba ndisinda kodwa ndiphumelele nesifo sam.

Kuthetha ntoni ukusinda komhlaza?

UGoogle "uyasinda" kwaye uyakufumana le ngcaciso: "Ukuqhubeka nokuphila okanye ukubakhona, ngakumbi xa ujongene nobunzima."

Ngokulwa kwam amadabi omhlaza kunye nokuthetha nabo bachaphazeleka ngumhlaza, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba eli gama lithetha izinto ezininzi kubantu abaninzi. Xa ndabuza ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukuhlala kwindawo yonyango, ugqirha wam wathi ukusinda komhlaza kuthetha ukuba:

• Usaphila.
• Uhamba ngamanyathelo ukusuka ekuchongeni ukuya kunyango.
• Unokukhetha ezininzi kunye nokulindela iziphumo ezilungileyo.
• Ufuna unyango.
• Awulindelanga ukuba ufe.

Xa ndithetha namanye amajoni omhlaza kumaxesha am amaninzi ndisegumbini lokulinda esibhedlele, ndafumanisa ukuba bahlala benencazelo eyahlukileyo malunga nokuba kuthetha ntoni ukuphila. Kwabaninzi, yayithetha nje:

• ukuvuka yonke imihla
• ukwazi ukuphuma ebhedini
• Ukugqiba imisebenzi yokuphila kwansuku zonke (ukuhlamba nokunxiba)
• ukutya nokusela ngaphandle kokugabha

Ndithethile namakhulu abantu abafumana unyango kule minyaka ingama-40 idlulileyo kuhambo lwam ngezifo ezahlukeneyo zomhlaza. Ubuzaza nohlobo lomhlaza ecaleni, ndifumanise ukuba ukusinda kwam kuxhomekeke nakwizinto ezingaphaya kwesifo ngokwaso, kubandakanya:

• amayeza am
• ubudlelwane bam nogqirha wam
• ubudlelwane bam neqela lezonyango lonke
• umgangatho wobomi bam ngaphandle kweemeko zam zonyango

Abantu abaninzi kule minyaka idlulileyo bandixelele ukuba ukusinda kuthetha ukungafi. Uninzi luthi aluzange lucinge ukuba ikhona enye into enokuqwalaselwa.

Kube luvuyo kum ukuxoxa ngeendlela abanokuphumelela ngazo. Kuluvuyo lwam ukubanceda babone ukuba banokuphila ubomi obunemveliso. Bekumangalisa ngokwenene ukubenza baqiniseke ukuba bavunyelwe ukuba bonwabe kwaye bafumane uvuyo ngelixa besilwa nomhlaza.

Ukuchuma ngelixa ubulawa ngumhlaza

Yi-oxymoron ukuhlala ngelixa usweleka. Kodwa emva kweedabi ezisibhozo zomhlaza ophumeleleyo, ndilapha ukukuthembisa ukuba kunokwenzeka ngakumbi kunokuba usazi. Enye indlela ebalulekileyo endikhule ngayo phakathi naphakathi kokuxilongwa komhlaza kukuzibophelela kwimpilo nakwisifo.

Kule minyaka idlulileyo, ukwazi umzimba wam xa uziva kakuhle kundincede ndabona xa izinto zingalunganga. Endaweni yokuyinqwenela kude okanye ukungahoyi imiqondiso yomzimba wam ngoncedo, ndenza okuthile.

Andiyiyo i-hypochondriac, kodwa ndiyazi ixesha lokuya kugqirha ukuba ahlolwe. Kwaye amaxesha ngamaxesha, kuye kwangqina ukuba lelona qhinga lam elineziqhamo. Kwi-2015, xa ndandwendwela ugqirha wam oncologist ukuyokuxela iintlungu kunye neentlungu ezintsha, ndikrokrela ukuba umhlaza ubuyile.

Ezi yayingezizo iintlungu eziqhelekileyo zesifo samathambo. Ndiyazi ukuba kukho into engalunganga. Ugqirha wam wakhawuleza wayalela ukuba kwenziwe uvavanyo, olwaqinisekisa ukukrokra kwam.

Ukuxilongwa kwakuvakala kumbi: umhlaza webele we-metastatic, owawunwenwele emathanjeni am. Ndaqala ngoko nangoko ngemitha, kwaza kwalandela ichemotherapy. Yenza ubuqhetseba.

Ugqirha wam wathi ndiza kufa ngaphambi kweKrisimesi. Kwiminyaka emibini kamva, ndihlala kwaye ndonwabile ngomhlaza kwakhona.

Ngelixa ndixelelwayo ukuba esi sifo asinonyango, andikalilahli ithemba okanye intando yokulwa kwaye ndiphile ubomi obunentsingiselo. Ke, ndaya kwimowudi ephumelelayo!

Ndiza kuqhubeka ndichuma

Ukuba nenjongo ebomini kundigcina ndiphila kwaye ndizimisele ukulwa. Ngowona mfanekiso mkhulu undigcina ndigxile ebunzimeni. Ndiyazi ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba nabani na phaya ngaphandle alwe umlo omkhulu.

Kuwe, ndingathi: Fumana umnxeba wakho. Hlala uzimisele. Yayama ngenkxaso yakho. Fumana uvuyo apho unokufumana khona.

Ezi ziimantras zam ezindincedayo ukuba ndiphile ubomi obukhulu yonke imihla kwaye ndiphumelele:

• ndiza qhubeka nokubhala iincwadi.
• ndiza qhubeka nodliwanondlebe neendwendwe ezinomdla kumdlalo wam werediyo.
• ndiza qhubeka ubhale iphepha lam lasekhaya.
• ndiza Qhubeka nokufunda konke endinako malunga nokukhetha umhlaza webele we-metastatic.
• ndiza ukuya kwiinkomfa kunye namaqela enkxaso.
• ndiza Ndinceda ukufundisa abakhathaleli bam malunga neemfuno zam.
• ndiza Yenza nantoni na endinokuyenza ukukhuthaza abantu abanomhlaza.
• ndiza ukucebisa abo banxibelelana nam bafuna uncedo.
• ndiza qhubeka unethemba lokunyanga.
• ndiza qhubeka uthandaze, uvumela ukholo lwam ukuba lundithwale.
• ndiza qhubeka nokondla umphefumlo wam.

Kwaye ixesha elide ndinako, mna Ngaba qhubeka nokuchuma. Ngomhlaza okanye ngaphandle kwawo.

U-Anna Renault ngumbhali opapashiweyo, isithethi esidlangalaleni, kunye nomsasazi womboniso kanomathotholo. Ukwangumntu osindileyo onomhlaza, ebekhe wanezihlandlo ezininzi zomhlaza kule minyaka ingama-40 idlulileyo. Ungumama nomakhulu. Xa engabhali, uhlala efunyanwa efunda okanye echitha ixesha nosapho kunye nabahlobo.