Izinto ezi-7 zabantu abanokuPhazamiseka kuBuntu boMda weNdlela bafuna ukuba wazi

Umxholo

• 1. ‘Siyoyika ukuba uza kuhamba, nokuba izinto zilungile. Kwaye siyayithiya nathi. '
• 2. 'Kuvakala ngathi uhamba ebomini kunye nokutsha kweqondo lesithathu; yonke into ishushu kwaye ibuhlungu ukuyiphatha. '
• 3. 'Yonke into ivakala ngakumbi: kulungile, kubi, okanye kungenjalo. Indlela esisabela ngayo kwiimvakalelo ezinjalo isenokubonakala ingalingani, kodwa kufanelekile ezingqondweni zethu. '
• 4. 'Andinabuntu obahlukeneyo.'
• 5. 'Asinabungozi okanye sikhohlisayo ... [sifuna] nje uthando oluncinci.'
• 6. ‘Kuyadinisa kwaye kuyaphazamisa. Kwaye kunzima ukufumana unyango olusemgangathweni nolufikelelekayo. '
• 7. 'Asithandeki kwaye sithanda abakhulu.'
• Ukuba ulwalamano okanye unomntu othandekayo kunye ne-BPD, kubalulekile ukwenza uphando lwakho kwimeko, kwaye uqaphele iingcinga onokuzifumana

Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu obunemida kusoloko kungaqondwa kakuhle. Lixesha lokuba utshintshe.

Ukuphazamiseka kubuntu obungenamda- {textend} ngamanye amaxesha okwaziwa njengokuphazamiseka kobuntu okungazinzanga - {textend} sisifo esichaphazela indlela ocinga kwaye uziva ngayo ngawe nakwabanye.

Abantu abanomda wobuntu obungenamda (BPD) bahlala benoloyiko lokulahlwa, bezabalazela ukugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo, baneemvakalelo ezinamandla, besenza ngokungxama, kwaye banokufumana paranoia kunye nokwahlukana.

Kungaba sisifo esoyikisayo ukuhlala naso, yiyo loo nto kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abantu abane-BPD bangqongwe ngabantu abakwaziyo ukubaqonda nokubaxhasa. Kodwa sisifo esimiselweyo kakhulu.

Ngenxa yobuninzi beengcinga eziphosakeleyo ezijikeleze yona, abantu abaninzi abanesiphazamiso baziva besoyika ukuthetha ngokuhlala nayo.

Kodwa sifuna ukuyitshintsha loo nto.

Kungenxa yoko le nto ndaye ndolula isandla ndacela abantu abane-BPD ukuba basixelele ukuba bafuna abanye abantu bazi ntoni ngokuphila nale meko. Nazi iimpendulo ezisixhenxe ezinamandla.

1. ‘Siyoyika ukuba uza kuhamba, nokuba izinto zilungile. Kwaye siyayithiya nathi. '

Olunye lweempawu ezinkulu zeBPD kukoyika ukushiywa kwaye oku kunokwenzeka nokuba izinto kubudlelwane zibonakala zihamba kakuhle.

Kukho uloyiko olugcweleyo lokuba abantu bazakusishiya, okanye ukuba asilungelanga loo mntu - {textend} kwaye nokuba kubonakala ngathi akukho ngqiqweni kwabanye, inokuziva iyinyani kumntu osokolayo.

Umntu one-BPD angenza nantoni na ukunqanda ukuba kungenzeki, yiyo loo nto enokuthi abonakale ngathi "unamathele" okanye "uswele." Nangona kunokuba nzima ukuyiqonda, khumbula ukuba isuka kwindawo yokoyika, ekunokuba nzima ukuhlala nayo.

2. 'Kuvakala ngathi uhamba ebomini kunye nokutsha kweqondo lesithathu; yonke into ishushu kwaye ibuhlungu ukuyiphatha. '

Lo mntu utsho ngokuchanekileyo- {textend} abantu abane-BPD baneemvakalelo ezinamandla ezinokuhlala kwiiyure ezimbalwa ukuya kwiintsuku ezimbalwa, kwaye banokutshintsha ngokukhawuleza.

Umzekelo, sinokuhamba siziva sonwabe kakhulu ngesiquphe siziva siphantsi kwaye silusizi. Ngamanye amaxesha ukuba ne-BPD kufana nokuhamba kwiigobolondo zamaqanda ezikufutshane nawe - {textend} asinakuze siyazi indlela esiza kuhamba ngayo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukuyilawula.

Nokuba sibonakala ngathi "sinovakalelo olugqithisileyo," khumbula ukuba akusoloko kuphantsi kolawulo lwethu.

3. 'Yonke into ivakala ngakumbi: kulungile, kubi, okanye kungenjalo. Indlela esisabela ngayo kwiimvakalelo ezinjalo isenokubonakala ingalingani, kodwa kufanelekile ezingqondweni zethu. '

Ukuba ne-BPD kunokuba nzima kakhulu, ngokungathi siyajikeleza phakathi kokugqithileyo. Oku kunokuba nzima kuthi nakubantu abasingqongileyo.

Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba yonke into umntu oneBPD acinga ngayo ayifanelekanga engqondweni yakhe ngelo xesha. Ke nceda ungasixeleli ukuba siyabhanxa okanye usenze sizive ngathi iimvakalelo zethu azisebenzi.

Ingabathatha ixesha ukubonakalisa iingcinga zethu - {textend} kodwa okwangoku izinto zinokuziva zisoyikisa njengesihogo. Oku kuthetha ukuba awugwebi kwaye unike indawo kunye nexesha apho kufanelekile.

4. 'Andinabuntu obahlukeneyo.'

Ngenxa yokuba kukuphazamiseka kubuntu, i-BPD ihlala ididekile nomntu one-dissociative disorder disorder, apho abantu bakhulisa ubuntu obuninzi.

Kodwa oku akunjalo konke konke. Abantu abane-BPD abanabuntu obungaphezulu kobunye. I-BPD kukuphazamiseka kubuntu apho uneengxaki nendlela ocinga ngayo kunye nendlela oziva ngayo ngawe nakwabanye abantu, kwaye uneengxaki ebomini bakho ngenxa yoku.

Oko akuthethi ukuba ukungaboni ngasonye kufuneka kubekwe ibala, nokuba kunjalo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo akufuneki kudideke nenye ingxaki.

5. 'Asinabungozi okanye sikhohlisayo ... [sifuna] nje uthando oluncinci.'

Kusekho ibala elikhulu elijikeleze iBPD. Uninzi lwabantu lusakholelwa ekubeni abo baphila nalo banakho ukukhohlisa okanye babe yingozi ngenxa yeempawu zabo.

Nangona le nto inokuba yimeko encinci encinci yabantu, uninzi lwabantu abane-BPD lusokola nje ngokuzithemba kwabo kunye nolwalamano lwabo.

Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba asingobantu abayingozi. Ngapha koko, abantu abagula ngengqondo kunokwenzeka ukuba bazenzakalise kunabanye.

6. ‘Kuyadinisa kwaye kuyaphazamisa. Kwaye kunzima ukufumana unyango olusemgangathweni nolufikelelekayo. '

Abantu abaninzi abane-BPD abanyangwa, kodwa hayi kuba bengafuni. Kungenxa yokuba esi sifo sengqondo asiphathwa njengabanye abaninzi.

Kwenye, iBPD ayinyangwa ngamayeza. Inokunyangwa kuphela ngonyango, njengonyango lokuziphatha ngokuziphatha (DBT) kunye nonyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT). Akukho ziyobisi zaziwayo ukuba ziyasebenza ekunyangeni i-BPD (nangona ngamanye amaxesha amayeza esetyenziselwa ngaphandle kwelebheli ukunciphisa iimpawu).

Kuyinyani ukuba ngenxa yehlazo, abanye oogqirha bacinga ukuba abantu abane-BPD baya kuba zizigulana ezinzima, kwaye ngenxa yoko, kunokuba nzima ukufumana unyango olusebenzayo.

Abantu abaninzi abane-BPD banokuzuza kwiinkqubo ze-DBT ezinzulu, kodwa ezi ayizizo kulula ukufikelela kuzo. Oko kukuthi, ukuba umntu oneBPD akabi “ngcono,” musa ukukhawuleza ubasole - {textend} ukufumana uncedo kunzima ngokwaneleyo kukodwa.

7. 'Asithandeki kwaye sithanda abakhulu.'

Abantu abane-BPD banothando oluninzi lokunika, kangangokuba kunokuba nzima.

Ubudlelwane bungaziva ngathi njengesivunguvungu ngamanye amaxesha, kuba xa umntu oneBPD - {textend} ngakumbi abo balwa neemvakalelo ezingapheliyo zokuba lilize okanye ukuba nesithukuthezi - .

Oku kunokwenza ukuba ukuthandana nomntu one-BPD kube nzima, kodwa kukwathetha ukuba lo ngumntu onothando oluninzi kakhulu lokunikela. Bafuna nje ukwazi ukuba iimvakalelo zabo zibuyile, kwaye banokufuna ukuqinisekiswa ngakumbi ukuqinisekisa ukuba ubudlelwane busazalisekisa kuni nobabini.

Ukuba ulwalamano okanye unomntu othandekayo kunye ne-BPD, kubalulekile ukwenza uphando lwakho kwimeko, kwaye uqaphele iingcinga onokuzifumana

Amathuba kukuba, ukuba ufunda into malunga nokuphazamiseka komda wobuntu obungenakufuna ukuba uthethe ngayo wena, umntu one-BPD akazukuxhamla ekubeni naloo nto ayicingayo ngabo, nokuba.

Ukusebenzela ukufumana ukuqonda okunemfesane malunga nezinto abajamelana nazo, kunye nendlela onokunceda ngayo omthandayo kunye nokujamelana nawe, kunokwenza okanye kuphule ubudlelwane.

Ukuba uziva ngathi ufuna inkxaso eyongezelelweyo, vulela umntu othile malunga nendlela oziva ngayo - {textend} amanqaku ebhonasi ukuba ngaba uyinyanga okanye usokliniki! - {textend} ukuze bakwazi ukukunika inkxaso kunye neengcebiso malunga nendlela yokuphucula impilo yakho yengqondo.

Khumbula, eyona nkxaso ibalaseleyo kulowo umthandayo isuka ekuthatheni olona nyango lusemgangathweni kuwe.

UHattie Gladwell yintatheli yezempilo yengqondo, umbhali kunye nommeli. Ubhala ngokugula kwengqondo enethemba lokunciphisa ibala kunye nokukhuthaza abanye ukuba bathethe.