Ikhefu eligqibele ukundenza ndiwamkele umzimba wam kube kanye

Umxholo

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Ndamenywa ukuba ndichithe iveki kwinqanawa yokuhamba ngenqanawa yeCarnival Vista ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Umyeni wam kunye nam khange sibekho kwiholide yokwenyani yabantu abadala okoko wazalwa intombi yethu kwiminyaka emibini edlulileyo. Inqanaba lam loxinzelelo ngoku lwaluthumela uxinzelelo lwegazi kuphahla, lubangela ugqirha wam ukuba "amisele" iholide. Ndaye ndazimisela kwimishini yokwamkela umzimba wam, ukugqiba ubomi bam bokutya, ndilahle ezi hang-up ngaphambi komhla wam 40 wokuzalwa ngoSeptemba.Yeyiphi indlela ebalaseleyo yokwenza lo msebenzi ngaphandle kokuthatha uhambo olunekhowudi yokunxiba isuti-chic iintsuku ezintandathu ezichanekileyo? Ayizukundixinzelela ngaphandle okanye iveze nayiphi na imizabalazo yangaphakathi, akunjalo?

Ewe, ayilunganga, ayilunganga, kwaye ayilunganga ngakumbi. Ingxaki kukuba ukuvuma ukuhamba ngenqanawa kufana nokuvuma ukukhwela "Izinto ezibangela ulwandle." Ukongeza kuzo zonke iimpahla zokuhlamba, ukunxiba ukutya kwam imesis-buffets, i-24/7 ipitsa, iindawo zokugcina ukutya, kunye newayini ehamba ngokukhululekileyo-zazikhona ukuze zingcikive kwaye zindilinge nam. Ndixakiwe. Kodwa, bendizimisele ukushiya umzimba wam uxhonywe kwizibuko kwaye ndamkele "iCruise Ship Me," kubandakanya neyunifomu yamacandelo amabini, i-flip-flops, kunye ne-cover-ups.

Besingaselunxwemeni xa ndenza isigqibo esomeleleyo sokulumkisa umoya kwaye ndijongane nalo lonke uloyiko lwam olunxulumene nesuti kunye nophicotho-zincwadi Umlo wokuvumelanisa imilebe ukhuphiswano, ihlumelo lomdlalo odumileyo weSpike TV. Ukuba ukhethiwe, uchitha iveki yonke uqhelisela ingoma yakho kwaye ufunde indlela yomdaniso kunye nabadlali benqanawa, ukonwabela ukufota, kwaye wenze "ukubonakala" iveki yonke ngaphambi komdlalo omkhulu kubusuku bokugqibela besikhephe. Ndiye ndaphuma ndaya echibini ndilungele ukwenza eyona nto yam ibonwa nguSteven Tyler kunye nokuvumelanisa imilebe kwi-Aerosmith's "Hamba ngale ndlela"-umculo wam wokuya kumculo wokunyusa ukuzithemba ngoko nangoko. Endaweni yoko, ndiye ndajonga isikrini somboniso bhanyabhanya-ubungakanani bemiboniso bhanyabhanya edanyaza ii-auditions phezu kwephuli-kwaye khumbula ukuba, amantombazana abo bonke ubungakanani ayenika konke-kodwa kunjalo, ndakrwitsha. Ndaphuma emgceni ndaza ndabethwa ngumoya ngenxa yokoyika ukuthukwa, okanye okubi ngakumbi, ndandinenkani ngenxa yenkangeleko yam. Umfanekiso womzimba wam ogqwethekileyo wenza inani elingaqhelekanga kubuntu bam-ndingumntu othandabuzayo kodwa oko kungazithembi ngamanye amaxesha kundenza ndibe kwi-hermit. Hayi ukuqala kakuhle.

Ndikulungele ukuqhubela phambili ukusuka ekuqaleni kwam (kunye nomona ovuthayo xa ndibona Umlo wokuvumelanisa imilebe () Ndijonge iChrissy Teigen, umntu endimthandayo ngenxa yobuhle bakhe kwaye ndivale inzondo ngokugqibeleleyo. Ndahamba ndicothoza elunxwemeni, ndizama abo bandingqongileyo ukuba bandigqume okanye ndiphume emehlweni abo.

Akukho mntu wayekhathalele.

Akukho mntu ude wafaka izibuko zabo zelanga kwicala lam.

Wonke umntu wayegxile ekonwabeleni iiyure ezintathu esasinazo kwi-Bamboo Beach Club de kwafika ixesha lokubuyela kwisikhephe.

Mna nomyeni wam saqhwanyaza iindondo ndaza ndaya kujonga, ndazifumana ndikwintente yokuphulula umzimba. Ndingumntu oncancisayo wokuphululwa-kwaye ukukhuhlwa onke loo maqhina kunye neekinks yinto endiyaziyo ukuba iyandinceda ukuba ndidibanise nomzimba wam. Kwakukho ingxaki enye encinci: Le massage yayingenzeki kwigumbi labucala. Kwafuneka ndikhulule isuti yam yokuhlamba ngaphezulu-kwaye ndiyigcine kude-elunxwemeni, kwindawo ebonakalayo yomntu ohamba ngendlela. Akukho mntu ukhathalayo okanye waqaphela okanye wahoya xa ndiphatha unxweme njenge-catwalk ... kutheni bangakhathala xa ndibaneka ii-boobs zam? Into kukuba, bendikhathala. Kodwa okwesibini ndakhulula umphezulu wam, yayingathi ngamava angaphandle komzimba. Ndandingaziva ndityebile, okanye ndibhityile, okanye ndiziva ndingonwabanga. Ndaziva ndiXHOQWE. Khange ndikhathazeke malunga nobukhulu be-bra yam ephindwe kabini ye-D okanye isinqe esityebileyo okanye ngaphezulu-kunokuba ndingathanda ukubona inombolo esikalini. Iimpendulo ezivela kubantu abangabaziyo elunxwemeni bezingayi kwenza nantoni na ukuyitshintsha ngaphandle kokundikhumbuza ukuba andidingi kuqinisekiswa. Kwakufuneka ndiqale ukufumana isiqinisekiso kum kuphela kwam.

Ke, ndiye ndakhulula umphezulu wam kwaye ndakhanyisa izibonda zam, ndahlala umzuzu ngaphambi kokuba ndingqengqe ngeyona massage ingakholelekiyo ebomini bam. Kwakugqityiwe, ndahlala phezulu-boobs ndisaphuma nabani na ojonge kwicala lam ukuze abone-kwaye wolule imizuzu eliqela ngaphambi kokutsiba etafileni ndinxibe. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kundithathe iiveki ukuxelela umyeni wam, kodwa kuthathe imizuzu kuphela ukuba amava abuye asebenzise ingqondo yam. Kwakusihlaziya ukukhumbula ukuba akukho mntu unokubona ngaphakathi kwentloko yam. Kwaye akuthandabuzeki ukuba nantoni na endiyicingayo ngomzimba wam inzima kunoko kucingwa nangubani na. Oko kukuthi ukuba bacinga ngayo kwaphela. Oko, uxolo ego, ndiyazi ngoku ukuba abanjalo.

Ukubuyela enqanaweni, ukwamkelwa komzimba yayiselidabi elinyukayo kuba ndandihamba ze phantse kuyo yonke into-ikhosi yeentambo ezixhonywe emoyeni, ibhayisekile ye-Skyride, isilayidi samanzi, kunye ne-Cloud 9 spa. Ndihlawule imali eyongezelelweyo yokufikelela kwindawo ye-spa's thermal suite, indawo "yebhonasi" enezitulo zokuphumla ezishushu ezimangalisayo, i-whirlpool, kunye neentlobo ngeentlobo zeesaunas. Ndayibona njengendawo yokufihla, ukufunda, ukuphumla, kunye nokuziqhelanisa nokuba kwisuti yam yokuhlamba phakathi komphunga kwii-sauna ezindigubungeleyo. Ngenye imva kwemini, ndangena kwelinye lamanzi okuqubha ukufumana isibini esidala sihamba ze andoyiki Ukukhuhla omnye komnye-bebehleka, bechwayitile kwaye bengaziqapheli kwilizwe liphela. Andithi bendiziva ndifuna ukumbamba umyeni wam ndiqale ukumphuthaphutha phambi kwabantu. Kodwa ndandisibamonela eso sibini. Kuyamangalisa ukuba ngokucacileyo babengakhathazeki malunga nokuxhonywa komzimba ukuphosa isithunzi ngalo mzuzu. Babephila, besonwabela, kwaye behamba nayo. (Nokuba bebefanele ukuba njalo, uyazi, besenza oku kwiikhabhathi zabo.)

Elinye idemon elikhulu lokujongana nako konke ukutya okulalele kuyo yonke intshi yenqanawa yokuhamba ngenqanawa, ilungele ukundilinga ukuba ndilambile na okanye hayi. Ndiyathetha, le nqanawa yayine-Guy Fieri Burger Joint KUNYE nePig kunye neAnchor BBQ, i-steakhouse, i-24/7 yonke-ungayitya i-pizza, i-buffet, kunye ne-family-style yase-Italian kunye ne-Asian restaurants. Xa izinto ezinje ngebhekoni patties zinokuphezulu kwi-burger yakho kunye nokuhanjiswa kwedessert sisiqingatha sekhekhe, kunzima ukonwabela isidlo ngaphandle kokuziva ngathi uphume ngeepawundi ezili-15 (ubuncinci) xa sele ugqithile.

Ndisebenzise umceli mngeni ukufumana ibhalansi. Ndayeka xa ndihluthi kwaye andizinciphisanga ubuncinci kwincasa yayo nantoni na eyenza umlomo wam amanzi. Kwakhona, ndaziva ndinamandla-imvakalelo endandizikhanyele yona ixesha elide. Nanini na xa ndiphuma ndisiya kwisidlo esikhulu, ndinomkhuba ombi wokuvakalisa indlela endiyidla ngayo yonke imini ukuze ndithethelele, okanye ndenza izimvo ezinje, "Andizange nditye isonka / iilekese / amanqatha kodwa oku kubonakala kumangalisa kakhulu ukuxhathisa" njengeqhinga lokunqanda abantu bandigwebe. Yintoni eqikelelwayo? Mhlawumbi bebengekho de ndithethe nto. Ndikhawuleze ndabona ukuba akukho mntu ukhathalayo ukuba ndinxibe isuti yokuhlamba, akukho mntu uyikhathaleleyo le ndiyityayo. Ke, ndavala umlomo wam, ndatya into ekhangeleka ilungile kum, kwaye ndenza into endiyidingayo ukuze ndizive ngcono emva koko, njengokuthatha uhambo, ukucamngca imizuzu embalwa, okanye ukuzibophelela kwi-spin yokuzivocavoca ngentsasa elandelayo. Akukho tyala, akukho kuzisola-nje isileyiti esicocekileyo endizivumele ukuba ndibenaso emva kwesidlo ngasinye.

Ngoku ndibuyile ekhaya, ndiyaziqhenya ngokuthi "i-Cruise Ship Me" inamathele. Ezo ntsuku zintandathu khange zibulale iidemon zam, kodwa bandinike umbono ophilileyo oncede ukucima enye yengxolo kwaye undinyanzele ukuba ndiphile ngoku. Enqanaweni, ukuba ndinexesha elibi, ndinokuzifihla kwindawo yemiboniso bhanyabhanya ye-iMax okanye ndifumane isitulo sokuphumla esigqunyiweyo kude nengxabano. Inguqulelo yam yalonto ekhaya icamngca okanye ihleli kwipatiyo yam ngaphambi kwexesha lokulala. Sisanda kuthenga ipuli evuthelwayo kwiyadi yethu kwaye ndonwabile ukuhlala ndinxibe isuti yam entsha yokuhlambela ngelixa sinezihlobo zokubetha ubushushu. Kwaye mhlawumbi khange ndiphile ngaphandle kwam fantasy star star on Umlo wokuvumelanisa imilebe Koda mna uyenzile Vuma nje ukwenza ifilimu icandelo lomsebenzi (eyam yokuqala ngaphezulu kweminyaka emithathu). Kusekho inkqubela-phambili ekufuneka yenziwe-andithathanga naziphi na iifoto kuhambo ngaphandle kokuba ndigqunyiwe. Kodwa xa ndicinga ngale mvakalelo ikhululayo yokungahambanga elunxwemeni, ndiyakhunjuzwa ukuba ololuvo kuphela olubalulekileyo ngomzimba wam olubalulekileyo lolwam. Kwaye yonke imihla, ezo zimvo zindenza ndizive ngcono kwaye ndibhetele malunga nendlela endide ndafika ngayo.

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