Ukuba ngumntu oNomdla kakhulu luphawu lobuNzululwazi. Nantsi indlela ekuvakala ngayo.

Umxholo

• 1. Ukuba yi-HSP kwabuchaphazela ubuntwana bam
• Izinto ezi-3 abantu be-HSP bafuna ukuba wazi
  
• 2. Ukuba yi-HSP kwabuchaphazela ubudlelwane bam
• 3. Ukuba yi-HSP kwabuchaphazela ubomi bam basekholejini
• Ungaphumelela njani kwihlabathi njenge-HSP
  

Ndiphumelela njani emhlabeni njenge (kakhulu) into ebuthathaka.

Impilo kunye nokuphila kakuhle kuchaphazela ngamnye wethu ngokwahlukileyo. Eli libali lomntu omnye.

Kubo bonke ubomi bam, ndichatshazelwe ngokunzulu zizibane eziqaqambileyo, ivumba elomeleleyo, impahla erhawuzayo, nengxolo enkulu. Ngamaxesha athile, kukhangeleka ngathi ndinokukrokra iimvakalelo zomnye umntu, ndichola usizi lwabo, umsindo, okanye isizungu ngaphambi kokuba bathethe igama.

Ukongeza, amava eemvakalelo, njengokumamela umculo, ngamanye amaxesha andoyisa ngeemvakalelo. Ukuthambekela emculweni, ndinokudlala iingoma ngendlebe, ndihlala ndicinga ukuba leliphi inqaku elilandelayo ngokusekwe kwindlela umculo oziva ngayo.

Kuba ndiye ndomeleza ukusabela kwindawo endingqongileyo, ndinobunzima kwimisebenzi emininzi kwaye ndinokuba noxinzelelo xa kuninzi okwenzeka kanye.

Kodwa ngexesha lobuntwana, endaweni yokuba ibonwe njengeyobugcisa okanye eyahlukileyo, iindlela zam zokuziphatha zabhalwa njenge-quirky. Abanye endandifunda nabo babedla ngokundibiza “Ndoda Yemvula,” ngelixa ootitshala babendityhola ngokunganikeli ngqalelo eklasini.

Ibhalwe njenge dada engaqhelekanga, akukho namnye owakhankanya ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba "ndingoyena mntu ubuthathaka kakhulu," okanye i-HSP - umntu onesistim semithambo-luvo esinovakalelo ochaphazeleka ngokunzulu bubuqhetseba obusingqongileyo.

I-HSP ayisosiphazamiso okanye imeko, kodwa kunoko uphawu lomntu olwaziwa njenge-sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS). Ndothuka, andinguye idada engaqhelekanga kwaphela. Ugqirha Elaine Aron uthi i-15 ukuya kuma-20 eepesenti yabemi zii-HSPs.

Xa ndijonga emva, amava am njenge-HSP abuchaphazele kakhulu ubuhlobo bam, ubudlelwane bothando, kwaye andikhokelela ekubeni ngugqirha wezengqondo. Nantsi into yokuba yi-HSP injani.

1. Ukuba yi-HSP kwabuchaphazela ubuntwana bam

Ngosuku lwam lokuqala kwisikolo sabantwana abancinane, utitshala wafunda imithetho yeklasi: “Beka ubhaka wakho kwityhubhu yakho ntsasa nganye. Bahloniphe abo ufunda nabo. Akukho kungxola. ”

Emva kokufunda olu ludwe, wathi: "Okokugqibela, owona mthetho ubalulekileyo: Ukuba unemibuzo, phakamisa isandla."

Ngaphandle kwesimemo esivulekileyo, ndibuze imibuzo embalwa. Ngaphambi kokuba ndiphakamise isandla, ndandidla ngokufunda imbonakalo yobuso bukatitshala, ndizame ukuqonda ukuba udiniwe, unomsindo, okanye uyacaphuka. Ukuba uphakamise amashiya akhe, ndicinga ukuba ukhathazekile. Ukuba uthetha ngokukhawuleza, ndicinga ukuba akaphelelwa ngumonde.

Ngaphambi kokubuza nawuphi na umbuzo, bendibuza, "Ngaba kulungile ukuba ndibuza umbuzo?" Ekuqaleni, utitshala wam wadibana nokuziphatha kwam ngokungakhathali ngovelwano, "Ewe kulungile," utshilo.

Kodwa kungekudala, imfesane yakhe yajika yaba nomsindo, kwaye wakhwaza, “Ndikuxelele ukuba awudingi kucela mvume. Khange uhoye ngosuku lokuqala lweklasi? "

Iintloni zokungaziphathi kakuhle, wathi "ndingumphulaphuli ombi" kwaye wandixelela ukuba "ndiyeke ukuba kwisondlo esiphezulu."

Kwibala lokudlala, ndasokola ukwenza abahlobo. Bendihlala ndihleli ndedwa kuba bendikholelwa ukuba wonke umntu uyandicaphukisa.

Ukungcikiva oontanga kunye namazwi angqwabalala kootitshala andibangela ndarhoxa. Ngenxa yoko, ndandinabahlobo abambalwa kwaye ndandihlala ndiziva ngathi andingowakhe. "Suka endleleni, kwaye akukho mntu uya kukukhathaza," yaba yimantra yam.

Izinto ezi-3 abantu be-HSP bafuna ukuba wazi

• Siziva izinto nzulu kodwa sinokuzifihla iimvakalelo zethu kwabanye, kuba sifunde ukurhoxa.
• Singabonakala singakhululekanga kwiimeko zeqela, njengeentlanganiso zomsebenzi okanye amaqela ngenxa yokuba kukho ukukhuthaza okukhulu kakhulu, njengemisindo enkulu. Oku akuthethi ukuba asixabisi ubudlelwane.
• Xa uqala ubudlelwane obutsha, njengobuhlobo okanye ubudlelwane bokuthandana, sinokufuna ukuqinisekiswa ngenxa yokuba sinovakalelo olukhulu kuyo nayiphi na imiqondiso ebonakalayo yokwaliwa.

2. Ukuba yi-HSP kwabuchaphazela ubudlelwane bam

Nanini na xa abahlobo bam bethandana nomntu, babedla ngokuya kum bacele iingcebiso.

"Ngaba ucinga ukuba ngubani-ke ofuna ukuba ndibize kwaye udlala nzima ukuze afumane?" kwabuza umhlobo. “Andikholelwa ekudlaleni nzima ukuze ndifumane. Yiba nguwe, ”ndaphendula. Nangona abahlobo bam babecinga ukuba ndihlalutye kakhulu zonke iimeko zentlalo, baqala ukukuqonda ukuqonda kwam.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuhlala ushiya iingcebiso ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokukholisa abanye kwaba ngumzekelo ekunzima ukwahlukana nawo. Ndinoloyiko lokuqatshelwa, ndizifake kumabali abanye abantu, ndisebenzisa ubuntununtunu bam ukunika uvelwano novelwano.

Ngelixa abo ndandifunda nabo nabahlobo beza kum befuna inkxaso, babengazi kwanto ngam, kwaye ndaziva ndingabonakali.

Ngexesha lam lokugqibela kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ndajikeleza, ndandinomfana wam wokuqala. Ndimqhubele amandongomane.

Bendihlala ndifunda indlela aziphethe ngayo kwaye ndimxelela ukuba kufanele sebenza kulwalamano lwethu. Ndade ndacebisa ukuba sithathe uvavanyo lobuntu be-Myers-Briggs ukubona ukuba siyahambelana okanye hayi.

"Ndicinga ukuba ukhutshiwe kwaye ndingenisile!" Ndibhengezile. Wayengahlekiswa ngengcinga yam kwaye wahlukana nam.

3. Ukuba yi-HSP kwabuchaphazela ubomi bam basekholejini

“Abantu abanovakalelo oluphezulu bahlala bechaphazeleka yingxolo enkulu. Banokufuna ukuphumla emva kokuvezwa kukhuthazo oluninzi. Abantu abanolwazelelelo bachukunyiswa ngokunzulu ziimvakalelo zabanye, kwaye bahlala bekholelwa ukuba banokuzenza iimvakalelo zomnye umntu. ”

Ngo-1997, ngexesha lokufundwa kwengqondo, unjingalwazi wam wasekholejini wachaza uhlobo lomntu endingazange ndeva ngalo ngaphambili, umntu onobuzaza kakhulu.

Njengoko wayedwelisa iimpawu eziqhelekileyo ze-HSPs, ndaziva ngathi ufunda ingqondo yam.

Ngokutsho kukaNjingalwazi wam, uGqirha Elaine Aron, ugqirha wengqondo, waqamba igama elithi HSP ngo-1996. Ngophando lwakhe, uAron wabhala incwadi ethi, “The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.” Kule ncwadi, uchaza ubuntu obuqhelekileyo be-HSPs kunye nendlela onokuchuma ngayo emhlabeni njengoyena mntu ubuthathaka.

Unjingalwazi wam uthe ii-HSPs zihlala zinobuchule kwaye zigqithisile. Wakhawuleza ukubonisa ukuba u-Aron akaziboni ii-HSPs njengeziphene zobuntu okanye isifo, kodwa endaweni yeseti yeempawu ezivela ekubeni nenkqubo ethe-ethe.

Loo ntetho yatshintsha indlela yobomi bam.

Ndinomdla wendlela ubuntununtunu obubumba ngayo ubuntu bethu kunye nokunxibelelana nabanye, ndiye ndaya kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo ndaza ndaba sisayikholojisti.

Ungaphumelela njani kwihlabathi njenge-HSP

• Funda indlela yokuqonda iimvakalelo zakho. Khumbula ukuba iimvakalelo ezibandezelayo, ezinje ngexhala, usizi kunye nokuziva ukhathazekile ziya kuba zexeshana
• Lawula uxinzelelo ngokuzilolonga rhoqo, ukulala kakuhle, nokuzithemba kubahlobo bakho abathembekileyo okanye ugqirha malunga nobunzima bakho.
• Vumela abahlobo, abantu osebenza nabo, kunye namalungu osapho bazi ukuba uyavuseleleka kakhulu kwiindawo ezivakalayo. Kwaye bazise ukuba uza kujongana njani nezi meko, "Ndiyaphazanyiswa zizibane eziqaqambileyo, ukuba ndiphume phandle okwemizuzu embalwa, ungakhathazeki."
• Qalisa ukuziqhelanisa nemfesane, uqondise ububele kunye nombulelo kuwe endaweni yokuzigxeka.

UMarwa Azab, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nophuhliso lwabantu kwiYunivesithi yaseCalifornia State eLong Beach, ukhomba kwintetho ye-TED kwi-HSP ukuba iimpawu ezibuthathaka kakhulu ziqinisekisiwe zizifundo ezininzi zesayensi.

Ngelixa uphando olongezelelekileyo luyafuneka malunga ne-HSP, iindlela ezahlukeneyo ezibonisa ngazo ebantwini, kwaye nendlela esinokujamelana ngayo nokuba-ethe-ethe kwi-uber, kube luncedo kum ukwazi nje ukuba umkhwa ukhona kwaye andindedwa.

Ngoku, ndamkela ubuntununtunu bam njengesipho kwaye ndizikhathalele ngokuphepha amatheko angxolayo, iimovie ezoyikisayo kunye neendaba eziphazamisayo.

Ndifundile nokuba ndingathathi izinto buqu kwaye ndiyakwazi ukubona amaxabiso ngokuyeka into ihambe.

UJuli Fraga sisayikholojisti enelayisensi esekwe eSan Francisco, California. Waphumelela i-PsyD kwiDyunivesithi yaseMantla Colado kwaye waya kubudlelwane basemva kwexesha e-UC Berkeley. Unomdla ngempilo yabasetyhini, usondela kuzo zonke iiseshoni zakhe ngokufudumala, ukunyaniseka, kunye nemfesane. Bona ukuba uphi na Twitter.