Lo Mama unomyalezo waBantu abaMhlazileyo ngokuSebenza
Umxholo
Ukuzibekela ixesha lokwenza umthambo kunokuba nzima. Imisebenzi, imisebenzi yosapho, iishedyuli zentlalo, kunye nezinye izibophelelo ezininzi zinokuphazamisa ngokulula. Kodwa akukho mntu wazi umzabalazo ngcono kunoomama abaxakekileyo. Ukusuka ekuphumeni kwelanga ukuya ekutshoneni kwelanga, oomama "bakwixesha lasimahla", ngenxa yoko bazenzela ixesha, kungasathethwa ke ngokuzilolonga. Njengomama oxakekileyo ngokwam ndiyazi ukuba ukwenza nantoni na ukuze uhlale usebenza-nokuba oko kuthetha ukuntywila kwimiphunga okanye ukutyhalela phezulu naphina kwaye nanini na-kubaluleke kakhulu.
Kungenxa yeso sizathu le nto, kwiminyaka emine eyadlulayo, ndasungula iklabhu yokuzifundela egumbini lokuhlala, indawo eku-intanethi yoomama abafuna ukwenza ixesha lokuzilolonga, okanye ukunciphisa umzimba, okanye ukuziva nje besempilweni kwaye bekhululekile kulusu lwabo kwakhona. Ngebhlog, amaqela aliqela e-Facebook, kunye namagumbi eentlanganiso, ndenza iividiyo zokuzilolonga kwaye nditsho nokusasaza ukuhlala, ukuze sidibane, sikhuthazane. (Funda ngakumbi malunga nokuba kutheni ujoyina iqela lenkxaso kwi-Intanethi kunokukunceda ekugqibeleni ufezekise iinjongo zakho.)
Ndandiyazi indlela ekwakunzima ngayo ngoomama ukuzenzela ixesha labo. Ngelo xesha, ndandingumama omtsha, ndisebenza ngokusisigxina njengotitshala, kwaye ndizakhela ishishini lam loqeqesho ecaleni. Into yokugqibela endandifuna ukuyenza yayikukuchitha ixesha elongezelelweyo kwindawo yokuzivocavoca kunye nexesha elingakumbi kude nonyana wam olusana. Indawo ekuphela kwayo yokuba ndiyenze yayisekhaya kwigumbi lam lokuhlala, ndisebenza malunga nexesha lokulala okanye naye edlala ecaleni kwam. Ndiyenze yasebenza.
Ezo zinto zisebenza kakuhle kwaye zisebenza kakuhle endizenzele zona kwigumbi lam lokuhlala zaba sisiseko seKlabhu yokuSebenza yeGumbi lokuPhila. Oomama kwihlabathi liphela, ngomlingo wokusasaza ividiyo, baqala ukundijoyina phantse kumagumbi abo okuhlala ukuya kwiseshini yemizuzu eyi-15 ukuya kwengama-20. Saqalisa ukusebenza kunye.
Ukukhawuleza phambili, kwaye izinto zitshintshile kancinane. Ngoku ndinenkwenkwe eneminyaka emi-4 esebenzayo, sihlala kwinqwelwana yokuhamba ngeenyawo ezingama-35, kwaye ndifunda ekhaya ngelixa sihamba ixesha elizeleyo ngomsebenzi womyeni wam. Ndifuna ukwenza konke ukuzilolonga kwam ngaphandle. Igumbi lam le-6-nge-4 lokuhlala kwigumbi elinemihla ebandayo okanye enethayo, kodwa ke kungenjalo, ukubila kwam kwenziwa epakini, ebaleni lokudlala, okanye naphina.
Ukuqala kwam ukwenza utshintsho kwigumbi lam elitofotofo, labucala, lokuhlala, ndaziva ngendlela engaqhelekanga Kaninzi bebodwa. Kwibala lokudlala, bendizibeka kude kakhulu kwabanye oomama kangangoko. Ndaziva ndingonwabanga ukusebenza phaya, ndicinga ukuba bandijongile na.
Ndabona ukuthandabuza kwam kuphuma kwinto endiyibona njengoluvo loluntu malunga nabasetyhini abasebenza kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke. Ndacinga kwakhona kwifoto endiyibonileyo ijikeleza kwi-Intanethi: Indoda yathatha umfanekiso womama esenza umthambo kumdlalo webhola ekhatywayo yonyana wakhe wayithumela kumajelo eendaba ezentlalo esithi, "Ngaba kungalunganga ukuba ndimxelele ukuba wonke utata kwibhola ekhatywayo Intsimi icinga ukuba ime ngaphambili ngentambo yayo yokutsiba iiyure ezimbini iyakhala kuphela ifuna ingqwalaselo? Kwaye ndingacinga nje ukuba bacinga ntoni oomama bebhola ekhatywayo. "
Kwakukho nelinye ibali malunga nomama othumele ividiyo yakhe yokufumana ukuzilolonga kancinci kwiindlela zeThagethi. Amagqabantshintshi amabi eza ngamawaka. Le yeyona nto ihlekisayo endakha ndayibona, utshilo omnye umntu. “Musa ukundenza ndizive kakubi ngokuzula-zula kwiipaseji ngelixa ndisitya i-cheese doodles,” wabhala omnye. Omnye umphawuli wambiza ngokuba "sisidenge."
Ngelixa ewe, iipaseji ze-Target okanye ibala lebhola ekhatywayo isenokungabi ziindawo ezifanelekileyo zokuzilolonga, loo nto ayiniki nabani na ilungelo lokugculela aba mama-inokuba lolona khetho lokwenene lwabasetyhini ngelo xesha. (Idibeneyo: Ama-Moms aFanelekileyo aBelana ngeendlela eziBalulekayo kunye neNyaniso ezenza ixesha lokuSebenza)
Ayizontiyo nje ezifihle ngasemva kwekhibhodi nayo. Ndiyifumene nomntu, naye. Ngesinye isikhathi, abafazi babiza kum njengoko ndenza amathanga am ejikeleze indawo yokudlala, "Ngaba uya kuyeka! Usenza sonke sibonakale sibi!"
Ezi zimvo zingalunganga ziye zaqhubeka zingena entlokweni yam kwindawo yokudlala. Ndizibuze, "Ngaba bacinga ukuba ndizama ukubonisa?" "Bacinga ukuba ndiyaphambana?" "Ngaba bacinga ukuba ndiyazingca ngokusebenzisa ixesha lakhe lokudlala njengo wam ukuzilolonga?"
Kulula kakhulu ukuba oomama baqalise ukuhla ukuzithandabuza malunga nokuba ngumzali, kunye nendlela ukuzinyamekela kuhambelana noko. Ke, ukongeza uxinzelelo lwento abanye abantu abacinga ngayo ngaphezulu kwayo? Ityala likamama linokuba ngumqobo!
Kodwa uyazi ntoni? Ngubani okhathalayo ukuba ngubani obukeleyo? Yaye ngubani oyikhathaleleyo into abayicingayo? Ndithathe isigqibo sokuba yonke le ncoko imbi ayizukundinqanda kwaye ayifanele ikunqande nawe. Ukuzikhathalela kubalulekile, kwaye ukomelela yinxalenye enkulu yaloo nto. Ukuzilolonga rhoqo kunezibonelelo ezininzi ngakumbi kunokwakha i-butt eqinileyo, nangona iyibhonasi ethandekayo. (Jonga kwakhona: Umceli mngeni wama-30-Day Butt) Izibonelelo zempilo zihluza ziye kuwo onke amabakala obomi bakho. Ayizukuqina nje kuphela kwaye ube namandla angakumbi okugcina abantwana bakho, uya kunciphisa uxinzelelo, ukonyuse imeko yakho, kwaye wandise amandla akho (ukukhwehlela, kunye nomonde). Ukuzilolonga kukwenza ube ngcono, ukuze ube ngumama ongcono.
Eyona nto iphambili kukuba amazwi aphikisayo ahlala engxola. Abantu abaninzi banezizathu ezibetheleleyo zokuba kutheni bengenako ukwenza ukomelela kusebenze ebomini babo. Xa bebona abanye phaya besenza ukuba isebenze (ewe, nakwibala lokudlala), iimpendulo zabo emadolweni kukufumana into engalunganga ngayo. Kodwa ndilapha ukukuxelela ukuba amazwi akhuthazayo, akhuthazayo akho phaya, nawo. Ungade ukhuthaze abanye ngokuthe cwaka ngokungqina ukuba ungazifumana izisombululo zobuchule bokwenza ixesha lakho kunye nempilo yakho.
Kwaye khumbula, xa usenza into ephambili, ubonakalisa indlela yokuziphatha enempilo yabantwana bakho. Nibafundisa ukuba impilo-ntle kunye "nexesha lam" linokusebenza njani phantse kuyo nayiphi na imeko. Ngolunye usuku xa bexakekile abantu abadala, baya kuyazi kumzekelo wakho ukuba kuthatha ntoni ukwenza konke.
Uyabona, ukuzikhathalela ayisiyonto ekufuneka uyenzile ngaphandle kokuba ukuba ngumzali, kunjalo Inxalenye lokuba ngumzali. Xa uqala ukucinga ngayo ngolo hlobo, kulula ukuba ungatsibi ukuzilolonga.
Xa ndigqiba iluphu yam kwindawo yokudlala, unyana wam uthi "Ophumeleleyo nguMama!" kwaye indinika isihlanu esiphakamileyo. Kwaye ndiyakhumbula ukuba ilizwi lakhe libaluleke kakhulu. Ke kuya kuthini ukuba yenza isihlwele esine-bleacher sibonakale sibi? Bamkelekile ukuba bahambe nam.