Iimpawu zesifo soMntwana oMncinci

Umxholo

• Yintoni iYoung Syndrome yoMntwana omncinci?
• Iimpawu eziNgekho mthethweni kwiNgcaciso yaBantwana abaNcinane
• Ngaba i-Order Order ibalulekile?
• Iintsomi malunga noMyalelo wokuzalwa
• Iindlela zokulwa neNtsholongwane yoMntwana omncinci
• Ukuthatha

Phantse kwiminyaka engama-90 eyadlulayo, ugqirha wengqondo wacebisa ukuba ucwangco lokuzalwa lunokuba nefuthe kuhlobo lokuba umntwana abe ngumntu onjani. Umbono wabanjwa kwinkcubeko edumileyo. Namhlanje, xa umntwana ebonisa iimpawu zokonakala, uhlala uva abanye besithi, "Baselusana losapho lwethu."

Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba ngowokugqibela kuludwe lokuzalwa, kwaye yintoni kanye kanye eyona syndrome yomntwana omncinci? Nazi ezinye zeethiyori malunga nesifo esincinci somntwana kwaye nokuba kutheni ungagqibela ukubeka umntwana phambili ekuhambeni kwexesha.

Yintoni iYoung Syndrome yoMntwana omncinci?

Ngo-1927, ugqirha wengqondo u-Alfred Adler wabhala okokuqala malunga nocwangco lokuzalwa kunye noko wayekuqikelele ngokuziphatha. Kule minyaka idlulileyo, inani leethiyori kunye neenkcazo ziye zabekwa phambili. Kodwa ubukhulu becala, abantwana abancinci bachazwa njenge:

• intlalontle kakhulu
• ndithembe
• uyilo
• ulungile ekusombululeni iingxaki
• ubuchule ekufumaneni abanye ukuba babenzele izinto

Abadlali abaninzi kunye nabadlali ngabona bantu bangabantakwabo abancinci kwiintsapho zabo. Oku kuyayixhasa ithiyori yokuba eyokugqibela ikhuthaza abantwana ukuba babenomtsalane kwaye bahlekise. Banokukwenza oku ngenjongo yokufumana ingqalelo kwicandelo losapho elixineneyo.

Iimpawu eziNgekho mthethweni kwiNgcaciso yaBantwana abaNcinane

Abantwana abancinci ngabona bantu bahlala bechazwa njengabonakeleyo, abakulungeleyo ukuthatha umngcipheko ngokungeyomfuneko, kwaye abanangqondo kangako kunabantakwabo abadala. Iingcali zengqondo zichaze ukuba abazali badibanisa abantwana abancinci. Banokucela abantakwabo abadala ukuba balwe nabantakwabo noodadewabo abancinci, beshiya abantwana abancinci bengakwazi ukuzikhathalela ngokwaneleyo.

Abaphandi bakwacebisile ukuba abantwana abancinci ngamanye amaxesha bakholelwa ukuba abanakuze boyiswe kuba akukho mntu ubayeka basilele. Ngenxa yoko, abantwana abancinci kukholelwa ukuba aboyiki ukwenza izinto ezinobungozi. Basenokungayiboni imiphumo ngokucacileyo njengabantwana abazalwa ngaphambi kwabo.

Ngaba i-Order Order ibalulekile?

Enye into u-Adler wayekholelwa kukuba umyalelo wokuzalwa awufanele uqwalasele kuphela ukuba ngubani owazalwa kuqala kwaye ngubani owazalwa ngokwenene.

Rhoqo, indlela abantu abavakalelwa ngayo malunga nocwangco lwabo kumgca wabantakwabo ibaluleke kanye njengoluhlu lwabo lokuzalwa. Oku kwaziwa ngokuba ngumyalelo wabo wokuzalwa kwengqondo. Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana wamazibulo unesifo esinganyangekiyo okanye ukhubazekile, abantakwenu abancinci banokuthatha indima yesiqhelo ebekelwe loo mntwana.

Kwangokunjalo, ukuba iseti yabantakwabo kusapho izalwe iminyaka eliqela ngaphambi kweseti yesibini yabantakwabo, zombini iiseti zinokuba nomntwana othatha iimpawu zomntwana wokuqala okanye umntwana omncinci. Iintsapho ezidityanisiweyo zikwafumanisa ukuba abanye abantwana bokwenyani baziva ngathi bagcina ulungelelwaniso lwabo lokuzalwa, kodwa baqala ukuziva benomyalelo omtsha kusapho oludibeneyo.

Iintsomi malunga noMyalelo wokuzalwa

Emva kwamashumi eminyaka yokufunda, abaphandi baqala ukucinga ukuba indlela yokuzalwa, ngelixa inomdla, isenokungabi nefuthe njengoko bekucingwa njalo. Uphando olutsha lucela umngeni kuluvo lokuba ukulandelelana kokuzalwa yinto ebangela ukuba abantu baziphathe ngeendlela ezithile. Ngapha koko, imiba enje ngesini, ukubandakanyeka kwabazali, kunye neenkolelo ezinokudlala indima enkulu.

Iindlela zokulwa neNtsholongwane yoMntwana omncinci

Ngaba umntwana wakho ugwetyelwe zonke iimpawu ezinxulunyaniswa nesifo somntwana esincinci, kubandakanya nezingalunganga? Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo, ngakumbi ukuba unikela ingqalelo koko ukulindeleyo kubantwana bakho. Qaphela ukuba zeziphi iingcinga zakho ezimalunga nokuzalwa kunye neentsapho ezikuzo, kwaye nokuba ezo zinto ziba nefuthe ekukhetheni kwakho kusapho. Umzekelo:

1. Vumela abantwana banxibelelane nabanye ngokukhululekileyo ukuphuhlisa indlela yabo yokwenza ezinye izinto. Xa beshiywe ukuba bazilungiselele ngokwabo, abantakwenu banokubopheka kancinci ukuba benze ngokusekwe kulungelelwaniso lokuzalwa kwaye banomdla ngakumbi kwizakhono ezahlukeneyo abanokuzinika.
2. Nika bonke abantwana bakho uxanduva kunye noxanduva kwinkqubo yosapho. Oku kufanelekile ukuba kufanelekile kuphuhliso. Nabona bancinci banokubeka iithoyi ezimbalwa kwaye banegalelo ekucoceni.
3. Musa ukucinga ukuba abantwana abancinci abakwazi ukwenza umonakalo. Ukuba oyena mntwana mncinci ubangele ukwenzakala, yidlulise ngokufanelekileyo kunokusirhabaxa eso sehlo. Abantwana abancinci kufuneka bafunde uvelwano, kodwa kufuneka bafunde ukuba kukho iziphumo kwizenzo ezivisa abanye ubuhlungu.
4. Sukwenza umntwana omncinci alwele ingqalelo yosapho. Maxa wambi abantwana bakhulisa amaqhinga ayingozi okufumana ingqalelo xa bengaziva ngathi kukho umntu obakhathaleleyo. Umfundi wakho wesithathu unokukwazi ukuxoxa ngemini yesikolo ngobunkunkqele ngakumbi, kodwa i-kindergartner yakho kufuneka nayo ifumane ixesha lokuthetha ngaphandle kokuyilwa.
5. Izifundo ezininzi ezivavanya ukuba ingaba ukuzalwa kuthintela iimpembelelo kubukrelekrele obufumanise ukuba kukho ithuba kubantwana bamazibulo. Kodwa ke inqaku elinye okanye amabini, ayonelanga ukwahlula u-Einstein kwiForrest Gump. Zama ukungabambi impumelelo yomntwana wakho omncinci ukuya kumgangatho obekwe ngumntwana wakho omdala.

Ukuthatha

Isifo somntwana omncinci kunokuba yintsomi. Kodwa nokuba inefuthe lokwenyani, ayiyonto imbi. Umntwana omncinci unabanakekeli abanamava ngakumbi, abantakwabo abagcina benkampani, kunye nokhuseleko lwekhaya esele ligcwele izinto ezifunwa ngumntwana.

Abantwana abancinci banokujonga abantwana bakowenu abadala kuvavanyo lwemida, benze iimpazamo, kwaye bazame izinto ezintsha kuqala. Abantwana abancinci kunabo bonke bahlala ekhaya bodwa unyaka okanye emibini kunye nabanonopheli abangenalo ukukhathazeka ngomntwana osanda kuzalwa.

Abantwana abancinci banokuba nobuchule bokuyila kunye nentlalontle. Ezi zizakhono eziya zisanda ngokwanda kuqoqosho apho umsebenzi wentsebenziswano uxabisiwe. Ekugqibeleni, isifo somntwana omncinci akufuneki sichazwe zizinto ezimbi. Ingaba yindawo efanelekileyo yekamva lomntwana wakho. Kwaye njengoko ucinga ngendlela oza "kuthintela" ngayo umntwana wakho ekukhuleni kweempawu ezimbi zesifo somntwana omncinci, khumbula ukuba ukulandelelana kokuzalwa kuyingcamango nje. Ayisiyo inkcazo yobomi.