Iindlela ezili-10 zokufumana ukwahlukana

Umxholo

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Nokuba nikunye iinyanga ezimbini okanye iminyaka emibini, ukwahlukana kuhlala kulula kwithiyori kunokubulawa. Kodwa nangona kuvakala kunzima kangakanani, ukuba "unekhefu elicocekileyo" kwaye ubuyele ezinyaweni zakho ayinakwenzeka-ukuba unecebo elifanelekileyo. Sithethile neengcali ezintathu zobudlelwane, kunye neengcebiso zazo, senza isicwangciso esinezinyathelo ezili-10 zokukunceda wenze intonga yakho yokwahlukana. [Twitha esi sicwangciso!]

Amalungiselelo

Inyathelo 1: Ukuqhawula ngokukhawuleza kudla ngokuba nzima kakhulu ukunamathela, ngoko ke isitshixo sekhefu elicocekileyo licwangcisa kwangaphambili. "Nokuba ufuna ukwahlukana nalo mzuzu, zinike iintsuku ezimbalwa ukwakha ityala elifanelekileyo lokuba kutheni kufuneka liphelile," utshilo ugqirha wezesondo uGloria Brame, Ph.D., umbhali we Ukwabelana ngesondo kubantu abakhulileyo. "Musa ukwahlukana ngokungxama, okanye ungahamba uye emva engqondweni yakho amaxesha aliwaka."

Inyathelo 2: Ngelixa ukrokrela ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukusika intambo, zihlukanise naye, ucebisa uBrame. "Ukuba usaziva okufanayo kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva, uya kuziva unamandla ngokweemvakalelo kwaye uqinisekile ukuba ukuqhawula umtshato sisigqibo esifanelekileyo."

Inyathelo lesi-3: Njengenxalenye yenkqubo "yokucwangcisa", kukwabalulekile ukuqwalasela ukuba ukwahlukana kuya kuba nefuthe njani kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bakho. "Cinga ngokwenzeka kwezemali nangalo naluphi na ulwalamano onokuba nalo, kwaye uqiniseke ukuba izicwangciso zakho ziyinyani njenge-singleton," ucebisa uPaula Hall, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nombhali. Indlela Yokufumana Uqhawulo-mtshato Olusempilweni. Ukuba benihlala kunye, kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba ngubani ohambayo, ngubani oza kuhlala, okanye irenti iza kuhlawulwa njani.

Ukuphunyezwa

Inyathelo 4: Emva kokuba wenze isigqibo sakho, kufuneka wamkele ukuba kuphelile ngokupheleleyo. IHolo lithi isizathu sokuba izibini ezininzi zizifumanele ukuya nokubuya kukuba basaziva bengathandani malunga nesiphelo. "Ukuba uwenzile wonke umsebenzi onokuwenza, kufuneka wamkele entlokweni yakho, kwaye nentliziyo yakho, ukuba kugqityiwe."

Inyathelo 5: "Musa ukuqhubeka nokulwa nokuba mncinci kubudlelwane," ucebisa watsho uBrame. "Ukuba iqabane lakho lizama ukubandakanyeka ekuziphatheni okubi, hamba." Iingxoxo mhlawumbi ziyinxalenye enkulu yesizathu sokuba wahlukane kwasekuqaleni-kutheni uphembelela umlilo uzama ukuwucima?

Inyathelo lesi-6: Qala ukucinga ngeqabane lakho njengembali: Beka yonke into kwixesha elidlulileyo, ngokuthetha nangengqondo. “Ukuba ufuna iphele yamkele yonke le nto yenzeke izolo kwaye ubomi bakho bungonamhla nekamva,” utshilo uBrame.

Umva

Inyathelo 7: Imidiya yokuncokola ilungile ngokuhlala uqhagamshele, kodwa kule meko yindlela eqinisekileyo yomlilo yokuzibeka kuhambo olukhokelayo lweemvakalelo. "Thatha ikhefu kwimidiya yoluntu," utsho uJessica O'Reilly, Ph.D., umbhali we Iingcebiso eziShushu zoSondo, amaqhinga kunye nokuKhotha. "Njengoko kulinga njengoko kunokulandela yonke intshukumo yakhe kwi-Facebook, Twitter, kunye ne-Instagram, oku kuya kwenza ukuba ukuhlukana kube nzima. U-O'Reilly uphinde ucebise ngokuthatha indlela ephezulu xa kuziwa kwiindawo zentlalo: "Zikhumbuze ukuba uhlale usezingeni eliphezulu. Ukuhlamba izandla esidlangalaleni, ukuhlazeka, kunye nokukhupha iimpahla zakho ezingcolileyo azinakuze zakha-kwaye oku kubandakanya amazwi angabonakaliyo." Ukuthetha ngodoti kukwenza ubonakale ukrakra, ongengomfanekiso ufuna ukubonisa.

Inyathelo lesi-8: "Ukhethe ukwahlukana okanye umntu wakudala wenza njalo, usazodlula kwixesha losizi nokuzisola," ulumkisa watsho uHall. "Sebenza ngeemvakalelo zakho nabahlobo kunye nosapho, hayi i-ex yakho." Lindela ukuziva ulilolo ngamanye amaxesha, kwaye uxhalabile ngekamva, uyongeza. "Ziimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo ezo. Akuthethi ukuba wenze impazamo." Kodwa ngokukhawuleza ungabuyela ezinyaweni zakho, ngokukhawuleza uya kuba nakho ukuqhubela phambili.

Inyathelo 9: Unyanzelekile ukuba ubaleke kwiimeko ezikukhumbuzayo owayesakuba-mhlawumbi kukuphunga icologne yakhe okanye ukuya kwi-hangout eqhelekileyo. "Nokuba ezi ntlanganiso zikushiya uziva wonwabile, ulusizi, unomsindo, okanye ungakhathali kwaphela, ungakhathazeki," utshilo u-O'Reilly. "Yonke into yoqhawulo-mtshato ibalulekile, kwaye neenkumbulo zobudlelwane ezivela kwakudala zinokukwenza ube neemvakalelo. Ukuphosa umntu wakudala ayingomqondiso wokuba kufuneka nibuyelane."

Inyathelo 10: Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokubuyela emva ekwahlukaneni kukuqala ukwenza izinto ezininzi othanda ukuzenza njengomntu, kwaye uzibekele iinjongo ezithile. "Wakhe waziva ukuba ukuba iqabane lakho belingekho, ubuzakwenza u-X? Yenza u-X ngoku," utshilo uBrame. "Kungaba kukudlala ngothando nomntu omtsha, ukuya kwindawo owawusoloko unomdla wokwazi ngayo, ukwamkela isilwanyana sasekhaya, okanye ukuya ejimini ngakumbi, unenkululeko ngoku, ke yenze loo nto! Eyona ndlela yokuqhubela phambili kukushukuma phambili kwaye ufumane umdla omtsha oza kugcina ingqondo yakho ixakekile."

Eli nqaku livele ekuqaleni MensFitness.com.

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