I-8 ye-Life's Biggest Shake-Ups, ixazululwe

Umxholo

• Uyahamba
• Uyahamba ngoQhawulo-mtshato
• Uyatshata
• Umhlobo wakho osenyongweni uyahamba
• Ulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi
• Ukhulelwe okokuqala
• Umntu Omthandayo Ufumana Iindaba Ezothusayo
• Ukufa kufutshane neKhaya
• Uphengululo lwe

Eyona nto ihlala ihleli ebomini lutshintsho. Sonke siyivile le ntetho, kodwa iyinyani- kwaye inokoyikisa. Abantu bathanda ukwenza izinto ngesiqhelo, kunye notshintsho olukhulu, nkqu nokwamkela abakhulelweyo okanye abatshatayo, umzekelo-kunokubangela uhlobo oluthile lwentlungu njengoko usiya kude kwinto oyiqhelileyo usiya kwinto engaziwayo, utshilo uCheryl Eckl, umbhali Inkqubo yokukhanya: Ukuhlala kuMda weRazor weNguqu.

Kodwa kuba ubomi buhlala bugcwele lolu tshintsho, sinomdla wokufunda indlela yokuziqhelanisa. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukwamkela utshintsho-endaweni yokulwa nalo-kuya kukomeleza. Apha, ezona zinto zisibhozo zingcangcazelisayo ebomini, zonwabile kwaye zilusizi, kunye nendlela yokujongana nokuzola.

Uyahamba

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"Ikhaya lethu lifanekisela okudlulileyo, iinkumbulo, ukhuseleko kunye nemeko yokuqiniseka. Xa sihamba, konke oku kuyashukuma," utshilo u-Ariane de Bonvoisin, isithethi, umqeqeshi kunye nombhali Iintsuku zokuqala ezingama-30: Isikhokelo sakho sokwenza naluphi na utshintsho lube lula.

Icebiso lakhe eligqwesileyo: Njengoko upakisha, nikela kangangoko unakho kude-ungabambeleli kwizinto zakho ezindala ukuze nje uzithuthuzele. “Xa siyeka izinto zangaphambili, sidala indawo yokufumana amava amatsha, amava amatsha, abantu abatsha, kunye nezinto ezintsha eziza kuthi zingene ebomini bethu,” utshilo. Nangona kunjalo, bambelela kwizikhumbuzo zakho, ezifana neejenali, imizobo yabantwana, kunye neefoto zentsapho. Ezi zinto azinantsingiselo yokwenyani, kodwa zinokukunceda ukuguqula indlu yakho entsha ibe likhaya.

Xa usenza intshukumo, yenza indlu yakho entsha ikhululeke kwaye ikhululeke ngokukhawuleza ukuze uzive uphantsi. Zizinto ezincinci ezincedayo, utshilo u-Bonvoisin. Kwaye hamba kakhulu kwindawo yakho entsha-fumana ivenkile yekofu entle, indawo yokuzivocavoca, ipaki entsha, kwaye uzame ukuvula kwaye ube nobuhlobo kuye wonke umntu.

Uyahamba ngoQhawulo-mtshato

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"Ukuphela komtshato luhlobo lwelahleko-uphulukana nesihloko somlingane, ikhaya lakho, amathemba akho kunye nezicwangciso zekamva naloo mntu, ngoko ke ngokuqinisekileyo kubangela usizi," utshilo uKaren Finn, Ph.D., umyili weNkqubo yoQhawulo-mtshato esebenzayo. Kwaye nokuba sele uphumile eluthandweni kunye nomntu wakho, ukuqala isahluko esitsha ngaphandle kwakhe kunokuba nzima, buhlungu, kwaye unesithukuthezi.

Kwinqanaba lokuqala, uFinn ucebisa ngokubhala "ileta yokuvalelisa," udwelisa yonke into okhathazayo ngokulahleka. Lo msebenzi wovakalelo uya kukunceda uqonde iimvakalelo zentlungu, u-Finn uthi. Emva koko bhala "i-hello letter" kwaye ubandakanye yonke into ojonge phambili ukuyenza kwixa elizayo, ekunceda ususe ujoliso lwakho kwintlungu ukuya ekuvumeni ngokulungileyo ebomini bakho.

Okulandelayo? Zama ukuzazi kwakhona. Phinda ujonge izinto ozenze njengomntwana, njengokudanisa okanye ukupeyinta, utsho uFinn. Okanye ndwendwela i-Meetup.com, indawo yokunxibelelana yamaqela asekuhlaleni adibanayo ukuze athathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi eyahlukeneyo, ukusuka ekubalekeni, ukuya ekutyeni, ukuya kwiklabhu yokubhukisha. "Xa usentlungwini, ufuna nje ukuzifihla, kodwa ukubona nje izinto ezimnandi onokuthi uzenze kunokukunika inkuthazo," utsho uFinn. Awusoze wazi ukuba yintoni onokuyifumana uyonwabele, okanye ngubani onokuhlangana naye kwinkqubo.

Uyatshata

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Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukubopha iqhina lelinye lawona maxesha amyoli ebomini bakho, kodwa "ukutshata yenye yezona ngxaki zinzima esizinyamezelayo njengabantu," utshilo uSheryl Paul, umcebisi nombhali Utshintsho olwenzekayo: Iinguqu ezisixhenxe eziqhelekileyo (kunye nezoyikisayo). Ngapha koko, uPawulos uwufanisa "namava okusweleka," ngengqondo ekufuneka senzile yekela yesazisi esasinayo ngaphambili njengomntu ongatshatanga, ongatshatanga.

Ukuba ujamelana nejitters zangaphambi komtshato, thetha neqabane lakho okanye ubhale ngayo-eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukhupha ezo mvakalelo. “Xa abantu bebakhuphela ecaleni, banokuba noxinzelelo okanye imicimbi emva kosuku lomtshato,” utshilo uPaul. "Abantu abaneentsuku zomtshato ezonwabileyo ngabo bavumela ukuba bavumele iimvakalelo kwaye baqonde into abayiyekayo."

Oko kunceda: Thembela kwelinye icala lomtshato wakho uyakuba yintuthuzelo nozinzo emtshatweni, utshilo uPaul. Oku kungasebenza njengephedi yokuqalisa ukuba uthathe umngcipheko omtsha kwaye ujonge imiba emitsha yakho.

Umhlobo wakho osenyongweni uyahamba

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Ukhe wayiva ngaphambili: Ubudlelwane kulula kakhulu ukubugcina xa abantu ababini bekwazi ukubonana rhoqo kwaye beqikelelwa. Ke xa umntu emka, "awunakuzinceda kodwa uzive ngathi ulahlekile kwaye uzibuze ukuba uza kuba nakho ukugcina ubuhlobo obufanayo kude," utshilo u-Irene S. Levine, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nomyili weTheFriendshipBlog.com.

Ukuba i-BFF yakho ithatha umsebenzi kwilizwe liphela (okanye nakwiiyure ezimbalwa), kunokuba uthi, 'Siza kuhlala sinxibelelana,' yenza isicwangciso sekhonkrithi sokuba niya kudibana nini, u-Levine ucebisa. Yenzani ukubaleka kwentombazana yonyaka okanye yonyaka ophelileyo ukuze nonwabele ixesha elingenakuphazanyiswa kunye kunye nokwenza iinkumbulo ezintsha. Okwangoku, sebenzisa itekhnoloji ukukunceda: i-Skype, i-FaceTime, okanye iseshoni yeGoogle Hangout inokuba yeyona nto ilungileyo ekubambeni esofeni njengoko ubuqhele ukwenza.

Ngokulungelelanisa nobomi ngaphandle kwe pal yakho, musa ukwenza impazamo yokucinga ukuba wonke umntu sele enabahlobo bakhe; ubuhlobo bumanzi kwaye abantu abaninzi odibana nabo baya kuba nomdla wokwenza abahlobo njengawe, uLevine uthi. Bhalisa kwisitudiyo esitsha seyoga, uthathe iklasi yokubhala, okanye ujoyine umbutho osekwe eluntwini oya kuthi ukwazi ukulandela inkanuko yakho kunye nokudibana nabantu abatsha ababelana ngemidla yakho.

Ulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi

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“Singabantu abadala, sichitha malunga neepesenti ezingama-75 zeeyure zethu emsebenzini, kwaye sithanda ukuzazisa ngokwezinto esizenzayo,” utshilo uEckl. "Xa siphulukana nomsebenzi, ilahleko yesazisi eboyikisa ngokwenene abantu."

Intetho ethi "umthwalo ekwabelwana ngawo ngumthwalo osisiqingatha" uyinyani xa ukhululwe, utshilo uMargie Warrell, umqeqeshi oyintloko Forbes Umsebenzi wekholamu. Ukuthetha nomhlobo kunokuba lunyango olunzulu, ngakumbi ukuba ukwimeko efanayo naye. "Zive ukhululekile ukuthatha iveki okanye ezimbini" ukufumana iibheringi zakho ", kodwa ngaphandle kokuba usisityebi ngokwaneleyo ukuba uchithe unyaka uhamba ngenqanawa kwiFrench Riviera, mhlawumbi ulunge kakhulu ngokubuyela kwihashe kwaye ufumanise ukuba yintoni elandelayo, " uthi.

Xa uphinda ungene kwimakethi yomsebenzi, gcinani engqondweni ukuba indlela esebenzayo nenokukunceda ugqame. "Abaqeshi banomdla kakhulu kubantu abangakhange bavumele ukubuyela umva kubabhubhise," utshilo uWarrell. Chaza ukuba ixesha lekhefu likuvumela njani ukuba uphinde uphinde ujonge ikhondo lomsebenzi wakho, ukuphucula izakhono zakho zobuchwephesha, ukuchitha ixesha ngokuzithandela, okanye ukudibana kwakhona nosapho. Yintoni ofanele ukuyiphepha kudliwanondlebe? Noluphi na ulwimi olukuphosa njengexhoba okanye ubeka ityala kumqeshi okanye umphathi wakho wangaphambili, utshilo. Kwaye ungalibali ukuzikhathalela: Ukuqhubeka nokuzilolonga rhoqo kuya kukunceda kakuhle kungekuko okwethutyana nje, kodwa kuyanceda ekulawuleni uxinzelelo ngcono kwaye wakhe ukuzithemba okuya kukunceda ukwahlula ixesha elide, Ucacisa uWarrell.

Ukhulelwe okokuqala

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Xa uphawu lokudibanisa luphuma kuvavanyo lokukhulelwa, uyaqonda ukuba ubomi njengoko usazi ukuba buza kutshintsha. UDe Bonvoisin uthi: “Olona tshintsho lukhulu lubakho xa umntwana eshiya ubomi bokuzicingela yedwa uye kukusebenzela umntu omncinane. Ukufunda iincwadi zabazali kunye namanqaku kunokukunceda ukuba uqonde izinto eziphathekayo, kodwa yazi ukuba ezininzi aziyi kuba nengqiqo de ube ubambe umntwana ezandleni zakho.

Kwaye ukuba uziva unovalo, yazi ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo. UJill Smokler, umama wabathathu kunye nomsunguli weScaryMommy.com, wakhululwa kukukhulelwa kwakhe kokuqala (okungacwangciswanga). “Ndanditshatile, kodwa abantwana babengekho kwaphela kwirada yam,” ukhumbula oku. Into elula eyamncedayo waqhelana: Ukuthenga iimpahla zabantwana kwiivenkile zabantwana. "Ndavuya kakhulu xa ndijonge izihlangu ezincinci!" uthi. "Kwakhona, ukuba nenja kwanceda, njengoko sasisele sifunde ukuhlengahlengisa ucwangciso lwethu malunga neemfuno zethu zesilwanyana-umkhuba olungileyo wokuba nomntwana."

Okokugqibela, chitha ixesha usebenza kubudlelwane bakho. Yiba mnandi kwaye ube nothando kunye neqabane lakho ngexesha leenyanga ezilithoba kangangoko. “Nokuba ibiyeyona ingcono kwakha kwakho, izakuthatha indawo yesibini okwethutyana xa kufika umntwana,” utshilo u-de Bonvoisin.

Umntu Omthandayo Ufumana Iindaba Ezothusayo

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"Eyona nto inzima ngomntu omthandayo ojongene nesifo esibi okanye ukwenzakala kukuziva ungenakuzinceda. Akukho nto onokuyenza ukuze ulunge," utsho u-Eckl, owabhala ngokunyamekela umyeni wakhe onomhlaza Ukufa okuMnandi: Ukujongana neKamva ngoXolo.

Ngokukhawuleza emva koko, khumbula ukuba ayithethi malunga nengcebiso yakho, okanye into ocinga ukuba kufuneka bayenze, utsho u-de Bonvoisin. "Zama ukuhlala unethemba kwaye uqiniseke ukuba bayazi ukuba uya kubakho kuyo nantoni na abayidingayo, eya kwahluka imihla ngemihla." (Ukuba ungumkhathaleli, ungalibali ukuba nawe kufuneka uzinyamekele.) Yaye mphathe loo mntu njengoko ubusenza ngaphambili: hleka naye, mbandakanye, kwaye ungamboni njengomntu ogulayo. Umphefumlo wabo awuguli okanye uchukunyiswe nangayiphi na indlela, utshilo u-de Bonvoisin.

Kwakhona, cinga ngokujoyina iqela lenkxaso labanye abajongene nokugula okanye ukuthetha nomcebisi okanye ingcali, utshilo uEckl. "Oku kunokukunceda ekuqhelaniseni oko uziva ungaqhelekanga kuwe kwaye kukuncede ujongane nokukhathazeka okukhoyo ekunyamekeleni umntu omthandayo ogulayo." Imibutho kazwelonke yezifo ezifana ne-MS, i-Parkinson, okanye i-Alzheimer inokubonelela ngenkxaso yeemvakalelo, iingcebiso zokumelana, iingcebiso malunga noko unokulindela kwizigaba ezahlukeneyo, kunye nokukhululeka kwimvakalelo yokuba uwedwa. Esinye isixhobo esinconyelwa ngu-Eckl kukuba Yabelana ngoKhathalelo, esinceda abantu ukuba baseke uthungelwano lokunyamekela umntu ukuba agule umntu ogula kakhulu.

Ukufa kufutshane neKhaya

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Xa umntu omthandayo esweleka, lutshintsho olukhulu ekungekho mntu unokujamelana nalo ngokulula, utshilo uRussell Friedman, umlawuli olawulayo weZiko lokuPhulukana neNhlungu. Nakumntu ofana noFriedman, osebenza nabantu abasentlungwini njengomsebenzi nowazi ngakumbi ngentlungu, ukusweleka kukanina kwakuchukumisa ngendlela emangalisayo.

Inyathelo lokuqala: Khangela umntu oza kukumamela-kwaye angazami lungisa wena, uFriedman uthi. "Umntu othetha naye kufuneka abe 'njengentliziyo eneendlebe,' emamele engahlalutyi." Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uqaphele iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye ukuthetha nomntu kunokukuvumela ukuba uphume entlokweni yakho, uye entliziyweni yakho.

Ewe akukho xesha libekiweyo eliya kuvumela umntu ukuba "adlulise" ukusweleka kothandekayo. "Ngokwenyani, yeyona ntsomi yoyikisayo malunga nosizi ukuba ixesha liyaphilisa onke amanxeba, utshilo uFriedman. "Ixesha alinakulungisa intliziyo eyaphukileyo njengokuba lingenakulungisa itayara eligqabhukileyo." Kwangoko uqonde ukuba ixesha alizukuyinyanga intliziyo yakho, kuya kuba lula ukwenza umsebenzi ngokwakho oya kukuvumela ukuba uqhubele phambili, utshilo.

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