Umfazi Ocinga Zakhe Azicimi

Umxholo

• Uqale nini ukuqonda ukuba unexhala?
• Uxinzelelo lwakho lubonakala njani emzimbeni?
• Uxinzelelo lwakho lubonakala njani engqondweni?
• Zeziphi iintlobo zezinto ezibangela uxinzelelo lwakho?
• Ulawula njani ixhala lakho?
• Ngaba buya kuba njani ubomi bakho ukuba uxinzelelo lwakho beluphantsi kolawulo?
• Ngaba unayo nayiphi na imikhwa okanye isimilo esidibene noxinzelelo olwahlukileyo kuwe?
• Yintoni into onqwenela ukuba abanye abantu bayazi malunga nokuba nexhala?
• Uxinzelelo lubuchaphazele njani ubudlelwane bakho?

“Ndizixelela ukuba wonke umntu uyandicaphukela kwaye ndisisiyatha. Kuyadinisa oko. ”

Ngokutyhila indlela unxunguphalo olubuchaphazela ngayo ubomi babantu, sinethemba lokusasaza uvelwano, izimvo malunga nokuhlangabezana, kunye nencoko evulekileyo ngakumbi yempilo yengqondo. Lo ngumbono onamandla.

UG, ugqirha wase-Canada oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala, ebephila enexhala kuba ebengumntwana omncinci. Echongwe ukuba uneengxaki zoxinzelelo ngokubanzi (GAD) kunye nokuphazamiseka okungafunekiyo (OCD), uyasokola ukucima iingcinga ezixhalabisayo ezihlala zizalisa ingqondo yakhe.

Uloyiko lokuba uxinzelelo lwakhe lukhulu kakhulu kwabanye luchaphazele ubudlelwane bakhe.

Nali ibali lakhe.

Uqale nini ukuqonda ukuba unexhala?

Bendisazi ukuba ikhona into engalunganga ndikhula. Ndikhala kakhulu kwaye ndiziva ngathi ndonganyelwe. Kwakuhlala kukhathaza abazali bam. Umama wade wandizisa kugqirha wabantwana ndisengumntwana.

Kodwa yonke into awayeyithetha kuye yayikukuba, “Ufuna ndenze ntoni? Usempilweni. ”

Kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, ixhala lam laqhubeka, kwaye eyunivesithi, yafikelela encotsheni (ndiyathemba). Ekugqibeleni, kwafunyaniswa ukuba ndine-GAD kunye ne-OCD.

Uxinzelelo lwakho lubonakala njani emzimbeni?

Iimpawu zam eziphambili isicaphucaphu, isisu esibuhlungu, kunye nokuziva unesiyezi okanye iintloko. Ndingade ndizigulise de ndingakwazi nokutya.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ndiyakuva into esifubeni sam - {textend} le engaqhelekanga "yokutsala" ukuziva. Ndikhala kakhulu kwaye kunzima nokulala.

Uxinzelelo lwakho lubonakala njani engqondweni?

Ingathi yinto nje yexesha ngaphambi kokuba kwenzeke into eyoyikisayo kwaye iyakuba yimpazamo yam yonke. Andikwazi ukuyeka ukugxila kwiingcinga ezingancediyo, ezenza ukuba yonke into ibe mandundu.

Kufana nokuba ndisoloko ndongeza amafutha emlilweni. Ndiyazixelela ukuba wonke umntu uyandizonda kwaye ndiyisidenge. Kuyadinisa ngokupheleleyo.

Zeziphi iintlobo zezinto ezibangela uxinzelelo lwakho?

Ubomi, ngokwenene. Inokuba yinto encinci- {textend} eyona minyhadala yeziganeko - {textend} endizakuyithathela ingqalelo, kwaye iya kuba likhephu kuhlaselo olukhulu.

Ndongamela ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into. Ndidla ngokuthatha iimvakalelo zabanye abantu. Ukuba ndihleli nomntu okhathazekileyo okanye odandathekileyo, iya kundichaphazela ngokunzulu. Kufana nengqondo yam ihlala ikhangela ulonwabo kunye nendlela yokuyila ukuze ndizonakalise.

Ulawula njani ixhala lakho?

Ndenze unyango, ndathatha amayeza, kwaye ndazama uqeqesho lokuqonda. Unyango, kwiminyaka yakutshanje, luncede, kwaye kwafunyanwa ugqirha owazi kakuhle uxinzelelo ngaphezulu kwenqanaba leencwadi.

Ndaphinda ndathatha ikhosi yokucinga eyayimalunga neeveki ezisibhozo. Ndibukele iividiyo zikaJon Kabat-Zinn kwaye ndineeapps zokuphumla kwifowuni yam.

Ndivulekile malunga noxinzelelo lwam kangangoko kunokwenzeka, kwaye ndizama ukuyamkela. Ndizama ukunqanda iimeko okanye abantu endibaziyo abanokundenza ndixhalabe.

Ndizamile ukuthatha ioyile ye-CBD kwaye, ndamangaliswa kukuba, iyanceda. Ndizama ukunciphisa ukunciphisa ukutya kwam i-caffeine kunye nokusela iti ye-chamomile endaweni yoko. Ndaqala ukunitha, kwaye ndiye ndazibandakanya kakhulu kwezobugcisa. Ngokunyanisekileyo, imidlalo yevidiyo ikuncede kakhulu.

Ngaba buya kuba njani ubomi bakho ukuba uxinzelelo lwakho beluphantsi kolawulo?

Andiqinisekanga. Kuyamangalisa ukucinga ngokuba, ngelishwa, bekuyinxalenye enkulu kangaka yobomi bam iminyaka emininzi kangaka.

Ndiva ngathi kuya kubakho obu bunzima bukhulu esifubeni sam. Ndiziva ndingoyiki kangako ngekamva, kwaye ndingade ndizibeke phaya ngakumbi. Akunakubakho zonke ezi ntsuku zokuchitha okanye iinyanga.

Kunzima nokucinga, kuba andazi ukuba inokwenzeka na.

Ngaba unayo nayiphi na imikhwa okanye isimilo esidibene noxinzelelo olwahlukileyo kuwe?

Ndixelelwe ukuba ndiyaxolisa ngaphezu komndilili waseKhanada, kwaye ndinexhala ngabantu kakhulu okanye ndinestresi malunga neemeko akekho umntu ozikhathaleleyo.

Xa ndandineminyaka eyi-15, abazali bam baya kutyelela abahlobo, kwaye xa babengekabuyi ngexesha elithile, ndothuka ndaza ndatsalela umnxeba (okuninzi kukuzonwabisa kwabahlobo babo) kuba ndiqinisekile ukuba kwenzeke into embi kubo.

Ukuba abantu bayaphuma kwaye bahambe ithutyana, ndiyakhathazeka. Ndizama ukuyigcina ifihliwe le nto, kuba ndiyazi ukuba akukho mntu ufuna ukujongana nayo. Ndikhe ndajonga nezikena zamapolisa kunye neTwitter ukuqinisekisa ukuba akukho ngozi.

Yintoni into onqwenela ukuba abanye abantu bayazi malunga nokuba nexhala?

Ukuxhalaba kunokuba nzima kangakanani "ukucima." Ukuba bekucinyiwe, ndingavuya.

Ungayazi ukuba, ngokuchanekileyo, uninzi lwezinto ozixhalabeleyo ngekhe zenzeke, kodwa ingqondo yakho isakhala "Ewe, kodwa uza kuthini ukuba iyenzeka - {textend} oh thixo, sele yenzekile." Kunokuba nzima ukuba abantu bakuqonde.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukujonga emva kwezinto ezandenza ndanexhala kuphantse kube neentloni. Ndiyazibuza ukuba kutheni le nto ndixakekile kangaka kwaye nokuba ndizithobe phambi kwabanye ngokuba nexhala. Yinto eyoyikekayo enokuba nzima ukuyichazela umntu ngaphandle kokuvakala iphambene.

Inxalenye yakho ingathi, "Ewe, ndiyaqonda ukuba ndingavakala ngathi ndiyintlekisa," kodwa olu loyiko - {textend} ezi ngcinga kunye neemvakalelo- {textend} zinzima kakhulu, kwaye ndenza konke okusemandleni ukuzilawula. Kodwa kufana neekati zokwalusa. Ndinqwenela ukuba abantu bayifumane.

Uxinzelelo lubuchaphazele njani ubudlelwane bakho?

Ndiyoyika ukunyanzela ixhala lam komnye umntu. Ndiyazi ukuba ukuxhalaba kwam kunzima kum, ngoko ndixhalabele ukuba kunzima kumnye umntu.

Akukho mntu ufuna ukuba luxanduva nakubani na. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiziva ngathi ndiphelisile ubudlelwane, ubuncinci, kuba andifuni ukuba ngumthwalo.

UJamie Friedlander ngumbhali ozimeleyo kunye nomhleli onomdla kwezempilo. Umsebenzi wakhe uvele kwi -Cut, iChicago Tribune, eRacked, kwi-Business Insider nakwiMagazini yeMpumelelo. Xa engabhali, uhlala efumaneka ehamba, esela izixa ezikhulu zeti eluhlaza, okanye ejonga i-Etsy. Ungabona ezinye iisampulu zomsebenzi wakhe kwiwebhusayithi yakhe. Mlandele kwi-Twitter.