Umncedisi weNtengiso oneminyaka engama-26 osokola ukushiya indlu yonke intsasa

Umxholo

• Uqale nini ukuqonda ukuba unexhala?
• Uxinzelelo lwakho lubonakala njani emzimbeni?
• Uxinzelelo lwakho lubonakala njani engqondweni?
• Zeziphi iintlobo zezinto ezibangela uxinzelelo lwakho?
• Ulawula njani ixhala lakho?
• Ngaba buya kuba njani ubomi bakho ukuba uxinzelelo lwakho beluphantsi kolawulo?

Ndihlala ndiqala ngosuku lwam ndiphakuzela endaweni yekofu. ”

Ngokutyhila indlela unxunguphalo olubuchaphazela ngayo ubomi babantu, sinethemba lokusasaza uvelwano, izimvo malunga nokuhlangabezana, kunye nencoko evulekileyo ngakumbi yempilo yengqondo. Lo ngumbono onamandla.

C, unxibelelwano phakathi koluntu kunye nomncedisi wokuxhasa intengiso eGreensboro, eMantla Carolina, waqonda kuqala ukuba unexhala xa iimvakalelo zesikolo sephepha zimthuma ngaphaya komda. Ukusukela oko wayesilwa nobunzima, phantse ixhala elinokumthintela ukuba aphile ubomi abufunayo.

Nali ibali lakhe.

Uqale nini ukuqonda ukuba unexhala?

Kunzima ukusho xa ndiqala ukuqonda ukuba ndinexhala. Ndandihlala ndixhalabile, nanjengosana, ngokomama. Ndikhule ndisazi ukuba ndinolwazelelelo kunabantu abaninzi, kodwa umbono woxinzelelo wawungaqhelekanga kum ndide ndibeneminyaka eli-11 okanye eli-12. Ngeli xesha, kwafuneka ndivavanywe ngokwengqondo, emini emva kokuba umama wam efumene malunga yokuzenzakalisa kwam.

Ndicinga ukuba kulapho ndiqala khona ukuva igama elithi "ixhala," kodwa alikhange licofe ngokupheleleyo kude kube malunga nonyaka kamva xa ndingakhange ndifumane sizathu sokutsiba i-rally yesikolo. Ingxolo yabafundi abangxolayo, umculo ovuthuzayo, ezo zibane ziqaqambileyo zalapho, kunye neebhanti ezazipakishile zandoyikisa. Yayisisiphithiphithi, kwaye kwafuneka ndiphume.

Ndikwaze ngandlela thile ukubuyela kwigumbi lokuhlambela elalikwelinye icala lesakhiwo apho ndandizimele khona esitalini, ndilila kwaye ndibethela intloko yam edongeni ngelizama “ukuzikhupha ndiphume kulo.” Wonke umntu ubonakale eyonwabela le rally yephepha, okanye ubuncinci anokuhlala kuyo ngaphandle kokubaleka ngenxa yokothuka. Kulapho ndafumanisa ukuba ndinexhala, kodwa bendingenalo nofifi lokuba kuya kuba ngumzabalazo wobomi bonke.

Uxinzelelo lwakho lubonakala njani emzimbeni?

Ngokwasemzimbeni, ndinempawu eziqhelekileyo: ndisokola ukuphefumla (ukuziva ndingena ngaphakathi okanye ukuziva ngathi ndiyakrwitshwa), ukubetha kwentliziyo ngokukhawuleza kunye nokubetha, iintlungu zesifuba, umbono wetonela, isiyezi, isicaphucaphu, ukugungqa, ukubila, iintlungu zemisipha, kunye nokudinwa okudityaniswe nokungakwazi ukulala.

Ndinomkhwa wokungazi iinzipho zam kulusu lwam okanye ndilume imilebe yam, amaxesha amaninzi kakubi ngokwaneleyo ukuba nditsale igazi. Ndiphela ndigabha phantse ngalo lonke ixesha ndiqala ukuziva ndinesicaphucaphu.

Uxinzelelo lwakho lubonakala njani engqondweni?

Kunzima ukucinga ngendlela yokuchaza le nto ngaphandle kokuvakala ngathi ndiyayiphinda i-DSM. Iyahluka ngohlobo loxinzelelo endinalo.

Ngengqondo ngokubanzi, endithatha nje indlela yokusebenza yam esemgangathweni kuba ndichitha iintsuku ezininzi ubuncinci ndinxunguphele malunga nento ethile, ukubonakaliswa kwengqondo zizinto ezinje ngobunzima bokugxila, ukuziva ungonwabanga, kunye nokucinga okungaphaya kokucinga ukuba, ukuba, ukuba, nokuba yintoni ukuba ...

Xa ixhala lam liba mandundu, andikwazi ukugxila kuyo nayiphi na into ngaphandle koxinzelelo. Ndiqala ukukhathazeka ngaphezulu kwazo zonke iimeko ezibi kakhulu, nokuba zinokubonakala zingenangqondo kangakanani na. Iingcamango zam ziba yinto yonke okanye ayikho. Akukho ndawo ingwevu. Ukuziva ndisoyika kuyanditya, kwaye ekugqibeleni ndiqinisekile ukuba ndisengozini kwaye ndiza kufa.

Okona kubi kakhulu, ndivale nje kwaye ingqondo yam ayisebenzi. Ingathi ndiyaphuma mna. Andazi ukuba ndiza kuhlala ixesha elingakanani kuloo meko. Xa "ndibuya," ndiye ndixhalabe malunga nexesha elilahlekileyo, kwaye umjikelo uyaqhubeka.

Zeziphi iintlobo zezinto ezibangela uxinzelelo lwakho?

Ndisasebenza ekuchongeni izinto zam ezibangele. Kubonakala ngathi xa ndifumana enye, ezintathu ziyavela. Eyona nto iphambili (okanye eyona nto iphazamisayo) ishiya indlu yam. Kungumzabalazo wemihla ngemihla ukuya emsebenzini. Ndihlala ndiqala usuku lwam ndihlaselwa kukuphakuzela endaweni yekofu.

Ezinye izinto eziphambili endiye ndazibona zizinto ezinxulumene nemvakalelo (izandi ezingxolayo, amavumba athile, ukubamba, izibane ezikhanyayo, njl.njl.) zabanye, bayokulala, iishawari, kwaye ngubani owaziyo ukuba zingaphi ezinye. Kukho ezinye izinto ezingabonakaliyo ezindibangela, njengokungalandeli inkqubo yesiqhelo, inkangeleko yam yomzimba, kunye nezinye izinto andikwazi ukubeka amagama okwangoku.

Ulawula njani ixhala lakho?

Iyeza lolona hlobo lwam lolawulo. Ndaya kwiiseshoni zonyango ngeveki de kwinyanga ezimbini ezidlulileyo. Ndizimisele ukutshintshela kwezinye iiveki, kodwa andikhange ndibone ugqirha wam kwisithuba esingaphantsi kweenyanga ezimbini. Ndinexhala kakhulu lokucela ukungabikho emsebenzini okanye isidlo sasemini esandisiweyo Ndiphatha uSilly Putty ukuba ndibambe izandla zam kwaye andiphazamise, kwaye ndizama ukolula ukuze ndiphumze izihlunu zam. Ezo zibonelela ngoncedo olulinganiselweyo.

Ndineendlela ezimbalwa zolawulo olusempilweni, ezinje ngokunikezela ngokunyanzelwa, ukuthintela iimeko ezinokubangela ukuba ndixhalabe, ndenze ikheswa, ndicinezele, ndizihlukanise, kunye nokusetyenziswa gwenxa kotywala. Kodwa ayisiyongxaki yokulawula uxinzelelo, akunjalo?

Ngaba buya kuba njani ubomi bakho ukuba uxinzelelo lwakho beluphantsi kolawulo?

Ngokuqinisekileyo andinakucinga ngobomi bam ngaphandle koxinzelelo.Ibiyinxalenye yam ngokunokwenzeka ubomi bam bonke, ke ingathi ndibonisa ukuba bunjani ubomi bomntu wasemzini.

Ndiyathanda ukucinga ukuba ubomi bam buya konwaba. Ndiya kuba nakho ukwenza ezona zinto zixhaphakileyo ngaphandle kokucinga ngako. Andizukuziva ndinetyala ngokwenza abanye bangonwabi okanye ndibabambe. Ndiyicinga ukuba kufuneka ikhululeke kakhulu, ngendlela eyoyikisayo.

UJamie Friedlander ngumbhali ozimeleyo kunye nomhleli onomdla kwezempilo. Umsebenzi wakhe uvele kwi -Cut, iChicago Tribune, eRacked, kwi-Business Insider nakwiMagazini yeMpumelelo. Xa engabhali, uhlala efumaneka ehamba, esela izixa ezikhulu zeti eluhlaza, okanye ejonga i-Etsy. Ungabona ezinye iisampulu zomsebenzi wakhe kwiwebhusayithi yakhe. Mlandele kwi-Twitter.