Ngaba Silahlekelwa Ngamantombazana Ethu?

Umxholo

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Ngalo naluphi na usuku olunikiweyo, amantombazana amancinci [aneminyaka eli-13 neli-14 ubudala] anokufunyanwa ephosa isidlo sakusasa nesasemini kwigumbi lokuhlambela isikolo. Yinto yeqela: uxinzelelo loontanga, iyeza elitsha lokukhetha. Bahamba bengamaqela amabini ukuya kweleshumi elinambini, betshintshana ngeesitali, beqeqesha omnye komnye. . .

"Kwiqela lam labahlobo, singamakhoboka e-five-pound-less syndrome.' Iiponti ezintlanu ezingaphantsi zihlala zilungile, kufuneka ndivume, ndiyenzile yonke into ukuze ndinciphise umzimba. Ndizile ukutya iintsuku ezilishumi [sic], ndongamele iziyobisi, ndenza umthambo iiyure ezininzi kunangoku, ndatya ilethisi ngo-6. pm ndiyiphose nje. Ndiyazi ukuba ndiyagula, kodwa izinto ezininzi ndizigcina ziyimfihlo .. Abahlobo bam ababini bayazi kuba nabo bayagula. ...

"Ndiyakucaphukela ukuyithetha, kodwa yintombazana ekhethekileyo engayiyo i-anorexic okanye i-bulimic, esikolweni sam nakanjani. Oku kuqhelekileyo. Ndiqhelekile kwaye abahlobo bam baqhelekileyo. Singabafazi bexesha elizayo."

Le nto uyifundileyo isuka kwinkwenkwana eneminyaka esi-7 ubudala--akukho gama lokuchaza ukuba ungubani; hayi "sithandwa okanye ngokunyanisekileyo" ukuthintela ubukho bakhe, akukho dilesi yokubuyisa ukumema impendulo. Ngesandula ukulahla ileta emgqomeni. Kodwa siya kwenza ntoni ngabo bonke abanye abafana nayo-ngamawaka eempendulo ezafikayo xa sibiza onke amantombazana aphakathi kweminyaka eyi-11 kunye ne-17 ukuba aphendule uphando lwethu lomfanekiso womzimba?

Kuzo zonke izilingo kunye neembandezelo ekunokwenzeka ukuba mna nawe sihlupheke ngazo, uhambo lwanamhlanje lokufikisa luyabanda ngakumbi. Ngelixa ezo hambo zifuna umphefumlo zasehlotyeni ezidlulileyo ngoku zidlula kwi-cyberblur kwindlela ephezulu yolwazi, ummelwane wakho osecaleni usenokuba wenza iziqhushumbisi emva komngxuma webarbecue. Ewe, thina njengabantu abakwishumi elivisayo sinokuba noxinzelelo malunga nokwabelana ngesondo, kodwa amantombazana anamhlanje akhathazeka ngokufa kuwo. Kwaye nangona ulwaphulo-mthetho lungeyonto intsha, ngaba sakha sahlala eklasini sizibuza ukuba ingaba umfana okwidesika elandelayo wayenompu ogcweleyo phantsi kwebhulukhwe yakhe?

Okokugqibela, eli lixesha apho abantwana abaneminyaka eli-9 ubudala bebala iikhalori zabo ngokukhawuleza kunesibonelelo sabo, kwaye iingxaki zokutya zixhaphakile njengelevi. Ixesha, kwakhona, xa abanye abakwishumi elivisayo, ekuphelelweni ngumonde kwabo ekuhlaseleni imizimba abayithiyileyo, badlula amacephe neefolokhwe, besiya ngqo kwimela. "Akukho mntu ufuna ukuthetha ngokuzisika, kodwa amantombazana ayayenza," utshilo uPeggy Orenstein, umbhali Amantombazana esikolo: Abasetyhini abasetyhini, ukuzithemba kunye nomsantsa wokuzithemba (UDoubleday, 1994), owafumanisa ukuba esinye sezifundo zakhe zebanga lesi-8 wayezikruqula ngeencakuba kunye nezibane zeecuba. "Yindlela yokwenza umsindo wakho emzimbeni wakho. Andikho kulawulo."

Ayephi onke amantombazana amancinci? Endaweni yokukhula njengeentyatyambo ziqhakaza, kubonakala ngathi bavuthelwa ngaphandle kwegadi yobuntwana njenge-cannon shot. Ngokwendalo, nje ukuba babaleke, bayabhola phezulu ukuthintela ubundlobongela.

Ishumi elinesihlanu lineminyaka apho konke onokukwenza ukulinda ubomi bube ngcono ngelixa wonke umntu okujikelezileyo engayi kuzama nokuqonda ukuba imbi kangakanani.

-16, EMichigan

Siyayiqonda ingxaki ekhulayo, thina kwiShape saxhamla kwiziko elingenzi nzuzo iMelpomene Institute eSt. Paul, eMinnesota, eyaziwa ngophando lwayo kubantu ababhinqileyo. Ngokudibeneyo, sayila isifundo esiza kuphanda kwisikhundla sobomi bentombazana apho, kwabanye, umfanekiso womzimba uqala ukubola kwaye ungcolise ukuzithemba okupheleleyo, ngelixa abanye, ukuzithemba ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo kuhlala kuphezulu. Kutheni kukho umahluko nje? Sasifuna ukwazi. Ngaba singafunda ukuphazamisa inkqubo eyonakalisayo kunye nokuthintela ezinye izithambiso malunga nokutya kunye nobunzima esijamelana nabo njengabantu abadala? Phantse iimpendulo ezingama-3,800 kunye neenyanga ezininzi zovavanyo kamva, sinazo iimpendulo. Kodwa kuqala, makhe sithathe iliso lolutsha kwidatha ejikelezileyo.

Dibana noCory (ayilogama lakhe lokwenyani), oneminyaka eli-16 ubudala osuka edolophini encinci eMichigan-uhlobo lwentombazana ephawula uvavanyo lwakhe ngobuso obunoncumo, unesoka, kwaye uqinisekile, uphatha gadalala. ("Amantombazana amaninzi kunokuba ucinga ukuba ayayenza," utshilo uCory ngefowuni. "Ezona zimbi ziyavela. Abantu abanjengam, akukho mntu ubonayo.") Ngokoluvo lwakhe, iingxaki ziqala ngamantombazana akwishumi elivisayo kuba, "Si Asinakuzivumela ukuba sibe yile nto siyiyo, ke ngoko siqala ukuziva ngathi lo mntu simfihlayo akafanelekanga nantoni na. ukuze sibe. Ke ngaso nasiphi na isizathu esiphambeneyo, siye sicinge ukuba ukuba mhle, ukugqibelela, ukulawula kuya kusinika into esiyifunayo. "

Amantombazana amaninzi aneminyaka eli-11 okanye eli-12 ubudala aqala ukuwathula amazwi abo kwaye aphulukane nenkalipho yabo-isibindi sokuthetha iingqondo zabo zisuka entliziyweni-ngokomsebenzi wobuvulindlela ka-Annie G. Rogers, Ph.D., kunye noCarol Gilligan, Ph.D ., owathi kunye nabanye kwiProjekthi yaseHarvard yeNgqondo yaBasetyhini kunye noPhuhliso lwamantombazana bebefundela abafikisayo kangangeminyaka engama-20. Ngeli xesha, yithi abaphandi, ulutsha luhlala luhamba "phantsi komhlaba" ngeengcinga kunye neemvakalelo zabo kwaye baqala ukuyinkcenkceshela intetho yabo "andazi."

Akukho zinkuthazo zininzi kumantombazana amancinci. Ayisoze, "Kulungile, ungayenza." Ihlala isithi, "Vumela ubhuti wakho ayenze." Kuyabulala.

-18, ENew Jersey

Ngo-1991, uphando olwenziwa yi-American Association of Women University (AAUW) lubonise ukuba kude kangakanani ukuzithemba njengoko amantombazana enza indlela yawo kwishumi elivisayo, ngakumbi phakathi kwabamhlophe kunye ne-Hispanics: iipesenti ezingama-60 zamantombazana amabanga aphantsi athi ahlala " Ndonwabe ngendlela endiyiyo, "kodwa kuphela ngama-29 eepesenti abafundi abaphezulu abafake ingxelo efanayo - ithontsi elibonisa umsantsa owandayo wokuzithemba phakathi kwabantu besini esahlukileyo, kuthathelwa ingqalelo amakhwenkwe awile kuphela ukusuka kwiipesenti ezingama-67 ukuya kwiipesenti ezingama-46. Okwangoku, uphononongo lufumanise ukuba ngelixa abafana bethetha iitalente zabo njengeyona nto bayithanda kakhulu kubo, abantu ababhinqileyo baseka ukubaluleka kwabo kwinkangeleko yomzimba.

"Siye sacinga xa saqala ukuba izinto ziya kwahluka kwiminyaka engama-20 emva kweSihlokwana IX, amalungelo oluntu, kunye namanani amaninzi amabhinqa ngoku ayenza kwizikolo zonyango kunye nezomthetho," kusho u-Anne Bryant, umlawuli olawulayo we-AAUW. Kodwa nangona amantombazana namakhwenkwe efumana amanqaku afanayo-amantombazana anokwenza ngcono-imiyalezo abayifumana kwibutho labantu, amaphephancwadi, umabonwakude, oontanga kunye nabantu abadala kukuba ixabiso labo lincinci kwaye ixabiso labo lahlukile kunolo lwabafana. .

Umbuzo: Zeziphi izinto ezikwenza ukuba uzive kamnandi ngenkangeleko yakho?

Impendulo: Xa ndibaleka iimayile ezintlanu kwaye ndingatsiba isidlo sasemini.

Umbuzo: Zeziphi izinto ezikwenza uzive kakubi ngenkangeleko yakho?

A: Xa ndingazilolongi kwaye [ndiyatya].

-17, Washington

Ngokuqinisekileyo, intombazana yanamhlanje ekwishumi elivisayo ifunda ukulinganisa ixabiso layo kwisikali-elisezantsi inani, kokukhona ifumana amanqaku aphezulu. Kwaye ngeekhalori kunye neegram ezityebileyo ngoku eziprintwe kwizinto ezininzi zegrosari, uyondla ngokoqobo kwizibalo zokuthatha umzimba. IZiko leSizwe lezeMpilo yeNgqondo liqikelela ukuba ipesenti enye yamantombazana akwishumi elivisayo iba ne-anorexia nervosa kwaye enye ipesenti ukuya kwisithathu seepesenti yabasetyhini abasebancinci baba yi-bulimic. Kodwa ezo manani zibhekisa kwezona meko zeklinikhi zinzima; Kuzo zonke iiakhawunti, ukutya okungalunganga kungene malunga necafeteria yesikolo esiphakamileyo.

UCatherine Steiner-Adair, u-Ed.D., umlawuli wezemfundo, uthintelo kunye nokufikelela kwiziko elitsha leHarvard Eating Disorder Center, ubona ukuphazamiseka kokutya njengeempendulo zophuhliso "eziguquguqukayo" kwinkcubeko evavanya intombazana encinci, "Yehla iipounds ezintlanu kwaye wena" ndiziva ngcono," ngelixa emnyanzela ukuba azilambele ngokweemvakalelo ukuze aqhubele phambili.

Kususela ebuntwaneni, uyachaza uSteiner-Adair, umntu obhinqileyo ufundiswa ukuthembela kakhulu ekwamkelweni nasekunikeni ingxelo evela kwabanye nokwenza ubume bakhe kwimeko yobudlelwane. Kodwa ngexesha lokufikisa kulindeleke ukuba atshintshe iigiyeri azenzele "indlela azenzele yona", azimele geqe ebantwini ngendlela amadoda ahlalisana ngayo ukuba-ukuba ufuna ukufumana ulawulo ngokunyuka kwileli yomsebenzi.

Kwisifundo esinye, uSteiner-Adair wahlula amantombazana angama-32, aneminyaka eli-14 ukuya kweli-18, ngokwamaqela amabini: Abasetyhini abalumkileyo abakwishumi elivisayo banokuchonga ulindelo lwenkcubeko kodwa bagcine ukugxila ekubalulekeni kobudlelwane njengoko befuna ukuzaliseka nokuzanelisa. Amantombazana aPhezulu oMfazi abonakala enxulumanisa ukubhitya kunye nokuzimela, impumelelo kunye nokuvunywa kwempumelelo ezimeleyo, ezama ukuba yinto egqwesileyo-umdlali weqonga odumileyo, osisityebi ngokumangalisayo, umongameli weshishini. Nangona amantombazana amaninzi ayenenkxalabo ngobunzima bawo, uSteiner-Adair wafumanisa ukuba ngamantombazana aPhakamileyo kuphela asengozini yokuphazamiseka kokutya.

Wonke umntu undixelela ukuba udadewethu omdala mhle - uneanorexic kunye bulimic.

I-17-Canada

Ngokucacileyo, ayinguye wonke umntu oneminyaka eli-13 ubudala onengxaki yokutya, kuncinci ukusayina kwiKlabhu yeBulimia, kodwa umfanekiso wokugabha ngobuninzi ubonakala uchaza ngokufanelekileyo isizukulwana sasemva kwe-X sabafazi abancinci abahlambulula iinkolelo zabo zangaphakathi kunye nokuzithemba- ukubambelela, endaweni yoko, kumasebe abuthathaka okubonakala kwinyikima yokunyuka ebufazini. Rhoqo, amasebe ayaphuka.

"Sifanele sikholelwe ukuba kufanelekile, ukuba akufuneki sigqibelele, ukuba kufuneka sibe yile nto siyiyo," utshilo uCory. "Kodwa ungabhala oko kwaye ungabenzi abantu baqonde. . . Ndisanqwenela ukuba bendibhityile. Ndisazintyintya ngamathub' athile, kwaye ngenxa yesizathu esithile andikwazi ukwenza ukuba ndikhuphe i-laxatives yam yokugqibela," uyongezelela.

Okokugqibela, akukho namnye kuthi onokuyijika inkcubeko yedwa, kodwa iziphumo zovavanyo lomfanekiso womzimba zibonisa ukuba njengabantu ngabanye, singenza utshintsho oluncinci oludibeneyo. Nokuba sinceda enye intombazana ukuba ikhumbule amazwi ayo kwaye izive iqinisekile ngomzimba wayo, iya kuba yinto encinci ukuba inyamalale kwisizukulwana sethu esilandelayo.

Andinalwazi lokuba ndikhangeleka njani. Ngezinye iintsuku ndivuka kwaye ndiziva ngathi yibhloko enkulu endala. Ngamanye amaxesha ndiziva ndiphilile. Ibugqithisile ngokwenene ubomi bam, wonke umfanekiso-womzimba.

- UCory, oneminyaka eli-16

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