Abasetyhini abaMnyama abaMandla bavunyelwe ukuba babe noXinzelelo, nako

Umxholo

• ‘Abantu abamnyama abaxinezeleki’
• Usizi olungapheliyo
• Ukwamkelwa kwengcebiso
• Yise kude

Ndingumfazi oNtsundu. Kwaye rhoqo, ndifumanisa ukuba kulindeleke ukuba ndibenamandla angenamda kunye nokomelela. Olu lindelo lubeka uxinzelelo olukhulu kum lokuba ndibambelele kwi "Woman Black Strong" (SBWM) Persona oqhele ukuyibona iboniswa kwinkcubeko yepop.

I-SBWM yinkolelo yokuba abafazi abamnyama banokuphatha nantoni na eza ngendlela yabo ngaphandle kokuba nefuthe kubo. I-SBWM ithintela abasetyhini abaMnyama ekuboniseni ukuba sesichengeni kwaye isixelele ukuba "sigqithe kuyo" kwaye "siyenze" ngaphandle kokusebenza nzima ngokwengqondo nangokwasemzimbeni.

Kude kube kutshanje, kukhuselekile ukutsho ukuba uluntu luye lwanikela ingqalelo encinci kwiimfuno zempilo yengqondo yabantu base-Afrika baseMelika. Kodwa uluntu oluNtsundu kunye noluntu olungaMnyama lube negalelo kule ngxaki.

Uphando lwamva nje lucebisa ukuba eli qela linepesenti ye-10 yomlo wokujamelana nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo kunabamhlophe abangabemi baseSpain. Kunye namandla aphezulu emicimbi, abantu abamnyama baseMelika baphinda baxela amanye amanqanaba asezantsi onyango lwempilo yengqondo. Izinto zenkcubeko ezifana nokubekwa amabala, izinto zenkqubo ezifana nokungalingani kwemivuzo, kunye neenkolelo ezinje nge-SBWM zonke zidlala indima kumanqanaba asezantsi onyango phakathi kwabantu abaMnyama baseMelika.

Abasetyhini abamnyama bajongana nezinto ezininzi ezizodwa ezinokuchaphazela impilo yengqondo. Njengomfazi omnyama ojongana noxinzelelo noxinzelelo, ndihlala ndiziva "ndibuthathaka" ngenxa yokuthamba ngokwasemphefumlweni. Kodwa njengokuba ndikhula ngakumbi ekuqondeni kwam impilo yengqondo, ndiye ndaqonda ukuba umzabalazo wam awuwaphikisi amandla am.

Kwaye, okona kubaluleke kakhulu, kukuba akusoloko kufuneka ndomelele. Ukubonisa ukuba sesichengeni kufuna amandla. Ndiyakwamkela oku namhlanje, kodwa kuluhambo olude ukufika apha.

‘Abantu abamnyama abaxinezeleki’

Bendisazi ukuba bendihlukile kwasekuqaleni. Ndihleli ndiyile kwaye bendisoloko ndifunana nolwazi rhoqo. Ngelishwa, njengezinye izinto ezininzi ezenziweyo kuyo yonke imbali, ndihlala ndizifumana ndijongana noxinzelelo. Ukususela ebuntwaneni, bendihlala ndonwabile kakhulu. Ngokungafaniyo nabanye abantwana, olu sizi luhlala luvela ngesiquphe kwaye lungaxhomekeki.

Ngelo xesha, ndandingakuqondi ukudakumba, kodwa ndandisazi ukuba kuyinto engaqhelekanga ukutshintsha ngesiquphe uzive ukhululeke kakhulu uye kuhlala wedwa. Khange ndilive igama ukudakumba okokuqala ndide ndibemdala kakhulu.

Akuthathanga xesha lide ukuqonda ukuba yayingelogama ekulindeleke ndilichonge.

Emva kokubona ukuba ndinokuba noxinzelelo, ndiye ndajamelana nomzabalazo omtsha: ukwamkelwa. Wonke umntu ojikeleze mna wenza konke okusemandleni abo ukundithintela ekuchongeni nayo.

Kwaye yayihlala ilandelwa yimiyalelo yokufunda iBhayibhile. Ndivile "INkosi ayizukusinika ngaphezulu kokujongana noko sinako ukukuthwala" amaxesha angaphezulu kunokuba umntu enethemba. Ngaphakathi kuluntu oluMnyama, ukuba uziva ungalunganga ixesha elide, uxelelwa ukuba yinto ekufuneka uyenzile ukuze usebenze nzima ukuze uthandaze kuwe. Ndathandaza ke.

Kodwa xa izinto zingakhange ziphucuke, ndajamelana neemvakalelo ezingalunganga ngakumbi. Umxholo wokuba abafazi abaMnyama bangasokoli kwindalo iphela lomntu iimvakalelo ziqhubela phambili umbono wokuba asinakudlula.

Kwaye ukuzenza ngathi sinamandla angaphezu kwawabantu kuyasibulala, utshilo uJosie Pickens kwinqaku lakhe "Ukudakumba kunye neBlack Superwoman Syndrome." Ndizama ukuhlangabezana nalo mgangatho, ndaye ndazifumana-ndaphinda ndachazwa ngumbono wento eyenzayo kwaye ayithethi ukuba ngumnyama.

Usizi olungapheliyo

Ukuxhatshazwa esikolweni kwenza izinto zaba mbi nangakumbi. Ndabizwa ngokuba "ngomnye" ndisemncinci. Kwa ezo ngcinga zinye zokuthintela iingxoxo zempilo yengqondo zindenze ndalahlwa.

Ndafunda ukujamelana nobulungu bam nangokuphepha ukuba phakathi kwabantu. Kodwa nangona iminyaka emva kokuphela kokuxhatshazwa, ukuxhalaba kwahlala kwaye kwandilandela kwikholeji.

Ukwamkelwa kwengcebiso

Iyunivesithi yam yabeka phambili impilo yengqondo yabafundi bayo kwaye yanika ngamnye kuthi iiseshoni zokufumana iingcebiso zasimahla ze-12 ngonyaka wesikolo. Kuba imali yayingaseyongxaki, ndanikwa ithuba lokubonana nomcebisi ngaphandle kwexhala.

Ngethuba lokuqala, ndandikwindawo engathinteli imiba yempilo yengqondo kwiqela elithile. Kwaye ndisebenzise elo thuba ukuthetha ngemicimbi yam. Emva kweeseshoni ezimbalwa, andizange ndizive "ndingomnye" kwakhona. Ukucetyiswa kundifundise ukuhlengahlengisa amava am noxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo.

Isigqibo sam sokuya kwicounselling kwikholeji sandincedile ukuba ndiqonde ukuba ubunzima endinabo noxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo azange ndenze ngaphantsi komnye umntu. Ubumnyama bam abundikhululi kwiinkxalabo zempilo yengqondo. Kubantu base-Afrika-baseMelika, ukubhencwa kubuhlanga kunye nokucalulwa kwenkqubo kukonyusa isidingo sonyango.

Akukho nto igwenxa ekubeni ndibe ngumntu oxinezelekileyo kunye noxinzelelo lomntu. Ngoku, ndiyayibona imicimbi yam yempilo yengqondo njengenye yecandelo elenza ukuba ndibengafani. Ndifumana inkuthazo enkulu "kwimihla yam ephantsi," kwaye "iintsuku zam eziphezulu" kulula ukuziqonda.

Yise kude

Ukwamkela ubunzima bam akuthethi ukuba akukho nzima ukujongana nabo ngalo mzuzu. Xa ndineentsuku ezimbi kakhulu, ndibeka phambili ekuthetheni nomntu. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula izinto ezingakhiyo oziva kwaye uzive ngawe ngexesha lokudakumba akuyonyani. Abantu base-Afrika baseMelika, ngakumbi, kufuneka benze iinzame zokufuna uncedo kwimiba yezempilo yengqondo.

Ndenze ukhetho lokulawula iimpawu zam ngaphandle kwamayeza, kodwa ndiyazi abanye abaninzi abagqibe ekubeni amayeza aya kubanceda baphathe iimpawu. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ujongene nosizi olungapheliyo okanye iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ezikuthathayo, thetha nengcali yezempilo yengqondo ukufumana ikhondo lesenzo elilungele wena. Yazi ukuba unguye hayi enye “kwaye” kwaye wena hayi ndedwa.

Ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo akubandlululi. Zichaphazela wonke umntu. Kuthatha isibindi, kodwa xa sisonke, sinokwaphula amabala ajikeleze ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo kuwo onke amaqela abantu.

Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo uhlangabezana neempawu zoxinzelelo, unokufumana uncedo. Imibutho efana ne-National Alliance on Mental Illness inikezela ngamaqela enkxaso, imfundo kunye nezinye izixhobo zokunceda ekunyangeni uxinzelelo kunye nezinye izifo zengqondo. Ungatsalela umnxeba kuyo nayiphi na le mibutho ilandelayo xa ufuna uncedo, oluyimfihlo:

• Uthintelo lweLifa lokuThintela ukuzibulala kuZwelonke (vula 24/7): 1-800-273-8255
• AmaSamariya ama-24-Hour Crisis Hotline (vula i-24/7, fowuna okanye uthumele umyalezo): 1-877-870-4673
• I-United Way Crisis Helpline (inokukunceda ufumane ugqirha, ukhathalelo lwempilo, okanye izinto ezisisiseko): 2-1-1

URochaun Meadows-Fernandez ngumbhali ozimeleyo ojolise kwezempilo, kwezentlalo nakwezomzali. Uchitha ixesha lakhe efunda, enothando kusapho lwakhe, kwaye efunda noluntu. Landela amanqaku akhe kuye iphepha lombhali.