Kutheni ukuhlamba umzimba kuyingxaki enkulu kangaka (kwaye yintoni onokuyenza ukuyiyeka)

Umxholo

• Impembelelo yokwenyani yokuhlazisa umzimba
• Kutheni Abantu Besenza Oku
• Hayi, awuyikhathalelanga "iMpilo" yakhe
• Yintoni Efuna Ukutshintsha
• Uphengululo lwe

Nangona ukunyaniseka komzimba kunye nokuzithanda kuye kwafumana ukubambeka okumangalisayo, kusekho okuninzi zomsebenzi ekufuneka wenziwe-nakwindawo esihlala kuyo. Ngelixa sibona izimvo ezintle, ezixhasayo kwizithuba zethu zeendaba zentlalo kunezimbi, iintloni-y, kwanomzekelo omnye wokuhlazisa umzimba ngomnye kakhulu. Kwaye masicace gca, kukho ngaphezulu kwesinye. Sibona amagqabantshintshi esithi abasetyhini esibabonisayo kwindawo yethu kunye namaqonga eendaba ezentlalo afanelekile kakhulu, makhulu kakhulu, mancinci kakhulu, uyawubiza.

Kwaye iyayeka ngoku.

Ubume yindawo ekhuselekileyo yabasetyhini bazo zonke iimilo, ubukhulu, imibala, kunye nenqanaba lesakhono. Sele kuyiminyaka sisebenza nzima ukukhuthaza abantu basetyhini ukuba bayamkele imizimba yabo kwaye bazingce ngabo bangabo. Kwaye ngelixa sonke sithandana nothando lwangaphakathi (jonga # UthandoMyShape ngaphezulu koku), ukuqaphela kwethu kusibonisa ukuba kufuneka sikhuthaze ukuba sithathe imigaqo-nkqubo efanayo yokwamkelwa, uthando kunye nokunyamezelana kwaye siyisebenzise ngaphandle, kananjalo. Ukuguqulelwa: Ngelixa kufanele ukuba iipesenti ezili-100 ziqhubeke zisebenza ukuthanda umzimba wakho, kubalulekile ngokulinganayo ukuba ungabi yingqushu kwabo babonakala bahlukile kunawe. Inxalenye yokugqibela ibalulekile, ke funda kwakhona ukuba ufuna: Akusekho ukuba yindlavini ngemizimba yabanye abafazi.

Ngoku, siyazi ukuba ucinga ntoni: Mna ?! Andisoze. Into kukuba, awudingi ukuba yi-troll ehlala kwindawo engaphantsi ukuze wenze inkcazo engafanelekanga ngomzimba womnye umntu. Sibona uninzi lwezimvo ezibonakala ngathi "zimsulwa" ngalo lonke ixesha. Izinto ezinje, "Ndikhathazekile ngempilo yakhe" okanye "Ndinqwenela ukuba anganxibi lonto." Nasi isizathu sokuba isengxaki:

Impembelelo yokwenyani yokuhlazisa umzimba

"Ndihlazekile emzimbeni kumajelo asekuhlaleni nangobuqu," utshilo uJacqueline Adan, igqwetha elikhuthaza umzimba ukuba liphulukane neeponti ezingama-350. "Ndikhonjwe kwaye ndahlekwa, kwaye ndibuzwa ngalo lonke ixesha ukuba yintoni into engalunganga ngomzimba wam; kutheni ibonakala 'imbi kwaye imbi kangaka.' Ndixelelwe ukuba ndiyigqume kuba iyenyanyeka kwaye akukho mntu ufuna ukuyibona. "

Amagqabantshintshi ngengxaki yethu yangoku yevidiyo kaFacebook kaKira Stokes, umqeqeshi wodumo kunye nomyili weNdlela eSebenzayo, wayenza yacaca into yokuba iingcali zomzimba zixelelwa ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngemizimba yazo, nayo-ayenzi zinto "zilungile" indlela okanye ukuzikhathalela "ngokufanelekileyo." Yintoni ongayiboni kwividiyo okanye kumagqabantshintshi? UStokes akalindelanga ukuba abanye bajongeke okanye bafaneleke njengaye-uye womelele kwaye uhambelana nokuqina ubomi bakhe bonke, kwaye uyazi ukuba wonke umntu ukuhambo lwakhe lobuqu. "Ndihlala ndisebenzisa i-hashtag #doyou kwizithuba zam zentlalo, kuba anditsho ukuba le kufuneka ibe nguwe okanye kufuneka ubonakale njengam. Ndithi yenza into ekuncedayo."

I-Morit Summers, umqeqeshi wobuqu oqinisekisiweyo kunye nomqeqeshi we-CrossFit, uye wafumana ihlazo."Abantu abavakalisa izimvo ngempilo yabanye abantu kwi-intanethi bahlala becinga ukuba ngenxa yokuba umntu unobunzima obuninzi kunomntu olandelayo, akanampilo," kusho u-Summers. Ihlobo zihlala zifumana izimvo zibuza impilo yakhe nangona engumqeqeshi ofanelekileyo.

Kutheni Abantu Besenza Oku

"Kukho uluhlu lobungakanani lwabasetyhini olubonwa luvumelekile, kwaye nantoni na engaphezulu okanye ephantsi kolu luhlu ivulelekile ukuba ihlazeke," utshilo uKatie Willcox, umzekelo emva kwe-Healthy Is the New Skinny social movement, kunye ne-CEO yoLawulo lweModeli yeNdalo. . "Bendihlala ndithengisa iimpahla zokudada ndize ndibhale umfanekiso wam kwisuti yokuqubha efumana kuphela izimvo ezakhayo. Emva koko, ndathumela enye yeemodeli zethu ezivela kwiiNdalo zeNdalo ezinobukhulu obungu-2 obukhulu kwaye oburhabaxa kunokuba ndinjalo kwi-swimsuit efanayo, kwaye yena Yonke into ukusuka ku-'Akaphilanga' ukuya kuthi 'Ingaba ukutyeba kukubhitya okutsha?' kwaye 'Akanxibi loo nto.' "

Kukho into ebizwa ngokuba ithiyori yokwabiwa kwezinto apha. Ngamafutshane, abantu badla ngokugxeka abanye ngezinto abazibona zingaphaya kwamandla abo. "Xa kuziwa ekuhlazeni umzimba, oku kuthetha ukuba abantu bazama ukufumanisa ukuba ingaba izinto ezingahambelaniyo nomzimba zixhomekeke emntwini na okanye into engaphaya kolawulo lomntu," utshilo uSamantha Kwan, Ph.D., ugqirha wezentlalo kunye nombhali. Ukumelana okungafaniyo: Ukucela umngeni kwiMigaqo, Ukophula iMithetho. "Ke ukuba umntu obhinqileyo uthathwa ngokuba 'utyebile' ngenxa yokuba engenawo amandla okutya 'ngokufanelekileyo' kunye nokuzilolonga rhoqo, uya kuvavanywa kancinane kunowasetyhini obonwa 'njengotyebileyo' ngenxa yemeko yesifo."

Oko kuthetha ukuba inkqubo yokucinga yokuhlazisa umzimba umntu otyebe kakhulu ihamba into enje: Okokuqala, i-shamer icinga: "Kulungile, lo mntu utyebile kwaye inokuba sisiphoso sabo kuba benza into engalunganga." Ke-kwaye eli lelona candelo lisetyenzisiweyo endaweni yokuhlala nje naloo ngcinga kunye nokucinga ishishini labo, bathathe isigqibo sokuba "benze" into malunga nayo. Ngoba? Kuba iMelika iyabacaphukela abafazi abatyebileyo. Ngaba uthatha indawo eninzi kwaye awuxolisi ngayo? Uluntu ngokubanzi luthi ufanelwe ukuba uthathwe phantsi, kuba abafazi bafanele ukuba "banayo yonke into" ngelixa bezenza bancinci kwaye bangabonakali ngokusemandleni.

Ngamanye amazwi, ukuba indlela umzimba wakho ongahambelaniyo obukeka ngayo ubonwa "njengetyala lakho," ngoko abantu babona izimvo ezihlazisa umzimba njengendlela yokubamba "uxanduva" ngezenzo zakho. Kwaye ngelixa abafazi abathathwa ngokuba "batyebile" ngokungathandabuzekiyo banomthwalo wokuhlazisa umzimba, akukho mzimba wabasetyhini ukhuselekile ehlazweni, kanye ngesizathu esifanayo. “Kunokuthethwa okufanayo malunga nokuhlazeka okubhityileyo,” utshilo uKwan. "Nabo baye benza ukhetho olungalunganga, nangona, umzekelo, i-anorexia nervosa sisigulo esinzulu kwaye asikokwenza nje ukutya kakubi. "

Okokugqibela, siqaphele ukuba ukuzithemba kubonakala kusebenza njengesimemo sokuhlazisa umzimba. Thatha i-badass ngokupheleleyo uJessamyn Stanley. Siye safaka lo mfanekiso ukubonisa ukomelela, ukugxila, nefuthe lomzimba esimthandayo, kodwa sabona amagqabantshintshi ambalwa ekhalaza ngokubonakala komzimba wakhe. Oku kwasenza sazibuza ukuba: Yintoni kanye kanye malunga nomfazi omangalisayo, ozithembileyo ukuba abantu abanakukwazi ukuyiphatha? “Abasetyhini bafanele ukuba benze kwaye baziphathe ngendlela ethile,” utshilo uKwan. Ke ngoku ukuzithemba ngakumbi komfazi, kokukhona iintloni zisiba nesidingo sokumbuyisela endaweni yakhe, utsho. Ngokungangqinelani, ukuthobela, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu uneentloni kwimizimba yabo, abasetyhini abazithembileyo ngabona bajolise kubo ekugxekweni.

Hayi, awuyikhathalelanga "iMpilo" yakhe

Esinye sezihloko eziqhelekileyo esizibona kumagqabantshintshi omzimba, ngokuhlekisayo, yimpilo. Thatha ifoto esandula ukuyiveza kuDana Falsetti, umbhali, utitshala weyoga kunye nomzabalazo. Xa sigqibe ekubeni siyithumele kwakhona ifoto yakhe (ngasentla), sabona umfazi owomeleleyo, owoyikekayo ebonisa ubuchule bakhe beyoga obumangalisayo, kwaye sasifuna ukwabelana ngaloo nto noluntu lwethu. Ngelishwa, ayinguye wonke umntu owayekwiphepha elinye. Sibonile amagqabantshintshi emigceni ka "Ndiphilile ngemizimba emikhulu, kodwa ndikhathazekile ngempilo yakhe." Ngelixa uninzi lwabaphawuli belukhawuleza ukukhusela uFalsetti, saphoxeka kukubona abantu besenzakala, ngakumbi egameni "lempilo."

Okokuqala, kuyangqinwa ngokwenzululwazi ukuba ukuhlazisa umzimba ayenzi yenza abantu baphile. Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukutyeba ngamanqatha okunene kwenza abantu babenamathuba okuba bakhulise imikhwa engeyiyo malunga nokutya, kwaye izifundo zibonise ukuba ayincedi abantu ukuba banciphise ubunzima.

Kwaye ngokwenene-ngubani udlala? Uya ngokwenene ukhathalele impilo yomntu ongamazi ngokupheleleyo lonto kakhulu? Yiba yinyani, ufuna ukuthetha into kuba nguwe ukungakhululeki. Ukujonga abantu abonwabileyo, abazithembileyo, kwaye abangangeni kumgangatho owufundileyo wento esempilweni okanye entle ikwenza uzive ungaqhelekanga. Ngoba? Abasetyhini ukungoyiki ukuthatha isithuba kuyabaphambanisa abantu kuba oko kuchasene nayo yonke into abayifundisiweyo malunga noko kwamkelekileyo ngokwemigaqo yokuziphatha nenkangeleko. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuba wena awukwazi ukuzivumela ukuba utyebe kwaye wonwabe, kutheni kufuneka omnye umntu avunyelwe? Newsflash: Nawe, ungonwaba kwaye wonwabe ngomzimba wakho kunye nezinye iindidi zemizimba ukuba ucela umngeni kwimibono yakho malunga nokuba "usempilweni" kwaye "wonwabile" ujongeka kanjani.

Ngokwenyani, i-skinny ayilingani ngokuzenzekelayo, kwaye amanqatha awazilingani ngokuzenzekelayo. Olunye uphando lude lucebise ukuba abafazi abatyebileyo abenza umthambo basempilweni kunabafazi ababhityileyo abangayenziyo (ewe, kunokwenzeka ukuba batyebe kwaye balungele). Cinga ngale ndlela: "Awungekhe ujonge kum kwaye wazi into enye ngempilo yam," utshilo uFalsetti. "Ngaba unokuqiniseka ukuba umntu othile uyatshaya, uyasela, unengxaki yokutya, ujongana ne-MS, okanye unomdlavuza ngokubajonga nje? Hayi. Hayi, ke asinakugqiba ngempilo esekwe koko sikubonayo, nokuba uthe umntu akaphilanga, usafanelwe yimbeko yakho."

Lelona nqaku libaluleke kakhulu: "Andifuni ukuba ndisempilweni ukuze ndihlonitshwe," utshilo uFalsetti. "Akukho mfuneko yokuba ndibe sempilweni ukuba ndibuze ukuba ndiphathwe njengomntu, ngokulinganayo. Bonke abantu bafanelwe yimbeko nokuba basempilweni okanye akunjalo, nokuba banengxaki yokutya okanye akunjalo, nokuba banesifo esithe cwaka okanye akunjalo. "

Yintoni Efuna Ukutshintsha

Ukuhlazeka komzimba kuya kuyeka kuphela xa sijongana nolwakhiwo, utshilo uKwan. "Ayisiyiyo kuphela malunga notshintsho kwindlela umntu aziphatha ngayo, kodwa ubukhulu becala, utshintsho kwinkcubeko nakwezentlalo." Phakathi kwezinto ekufuneka zenzekile kukwahluka okukhulu kwimifanekiso yemithombo yeendaba, kuwo onke amacandelo eethoni zolusu, ukuphakama, ubungakanani bomzimba, iimpawu zobuso, ukwenziwa kweenwele, kunye nokunye. "Sidinga 'okuqhelekileyo' malunga neenkcubeko zethu zobuhle. Okubaluleke kakhulu, kufuneka sisebenzele ukulingana ngazo zonke iindlela apho imizimba, ngakumbi imizimba yabasetyhini, ingezizo izinto zolawulo nalapho abantu baziva bekhuselekile ekuboniseni isini sabo kunye nezesondo. izazisi,” utshilo uKwan.

Kwangelo xesha, siyabona ukuba luxanduva lwethu ukubonelela ngezinto eziza kwenziwa kuluntu lwethu ukuze sonke sisebenze ekupheliseni ukuhlazeka komzimba. Sibuze iphaneli yethu yeengcali zokuhlazisa umzimba ukuba yintoni enokwenziwa ngabantu ekuhlaleni ukulwa ukuhlazeka komzimba kwinqanaba lomntu ngamnye. Nantsi into abayithethayo.

Khusela amaxhoba. "Ukuba ubona umntu ehlazisiwe, thatha imizuzwana emibini ukuba ubathumelele uthando," utshilo uWillcox. "Singabafazi kwaye uthando ngamandla ethu amakhulu, ke musa ukoyika ukuyisebenzisa."

Jonga ukhetho lwakho lwangaphakathi. Mhlawumbi awungekhe ushiye izimvo ezimbi ngomzimba womnye umntu, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha uzibambisa iingcinga ezikhuthaza ukuhlaziswa komzimba. Ukuba ukhe uzifumane ucinga ngento egwebayo ngomzimba womnye umntu, indlela otya ngayo, ukwenza imithambo, okanye enye into-zihlole. URobi Ludwig, wePsy.D uthi: “Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokugcina izigqibo zakho kukukhuthaza uvelwano. "Ukuba ucinga ngokugweba, ungakhetha ukuzibuza ukuba ivela phi le ngcinga."

Phatha izimvo zakho njengezithuba zakho. "Abantu bachitha ixesha elininzi becoca iifoto zabo, ukanti azicocwanga kwaphela kwizimvo zabo, utshilo uStokes. Kuthekani ukuba sonke sisebenzise olo hlobo lwenkathalo xa sishiya izimvo kwizithuba zabanye abantu? Phambi kokuba uthumele uluvo, yenza uluhlu lwangaphakathi lwezinto ezikhuthazayo emva koko, kwaye unokukuphepha ukuthetha nantoni na enokwenzakalisa omnye umntu.

Qhubeka usenza. Nangona kunzima, ukuba nguwe ohlazekileyo ngomzimba, ungavumeli abo bakuthiyileyo bakuphoxe. "Ndifumanisa ukuba ukuqhubeka nokuba nguwe kwaye ukuqhubeka uphila ubomi bakho ngendlela ofuna ngayo kwenza impembelelo enkulu," kusho uAdan. "Unesibindi, womelele, umhle, kwaye indlela oziva ngayo ngawe ibalulekile. Awusoze ukwazi ukonwabisa wonke umntu, kutheni ke ungenzi nje into ekwenza wonwabe?"

Uphengululo lwe