UngabaNxibelelana njani ngempumelelo

Umxholo

• Ukuphucula izakhono zakho zokuthetha
• Zilungiselele ngeemvakalelo zakho
• Thetha ngokucacileyo, ungangxamanga
• Wakhethe kakuhle amagama akho
• Andivumi ngentlonipho
• Buza imibuzo
• Jonga ulwimi lwakho lomzimba
• Mjonge emehlweni
• Gcina intetho yakho ikhululekile
• Gwema ukuwela imilenze kunye neengalo
• Zama ukunqanda ukudideka
• Naka u yabo impawu zomzimba
• Musa ukulibala ukumamela
• Yamkela kwaye uqinisekise
• Buza imibuzo xa kukho imfuneko
• Funda igumbi
• Nika isithethi ingqalelo yakho
• Imigibe ofanele uyiphephe
• Ukunyanzelwa
• Ukuthetha nje ukuthetha
• Ukuphepha
• Ukuphendula ngomsindo
• Ukwenza izityholo
• Umgca wezantsi

Ukukwazi ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo sesinye sezona zakhono zibalulekileyo onokuthi uziphuhlise.

Mhlawumbi uyazi ukuba unxibelelwano oluvulekileyo lunokunceda ubudlelwane bakho bobuqu, kodwa iindlela zonxibelelwano ezomeleleyo zinokukunceda kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi.

Oonxibelelwano abalungileyo banokukufumanisa kulula uku:

• thatha iindima zobunkokeli
• Yazi abantu abatsha
• ukunqamlela izithintelo zenkcubeko ukwandisa ulwazi kunye nokuqonda kwamava obomi ahlukeneyo
• khulisa uvelwano novelwano kwabanye

Kodwa unxibelelwano, olubandakanya ukunika kunye nokufumana ulwazi, aluzi lula kuye wonke umntu. Unxibelelwano luyinto enzima, eneneni, utshilo uEmily Cook, PhD, umtshato kunye nonyango lweentsapho eBethesda, eMaryland.

Ukuphucula izakhono zakho zokuthetha

Xa ucinga ngonxibelelwano, incoko yomlomo inokufika kuqala engqondweni.

Unxibelelwano ludlula ngaphaya kwencoko, ewe, kodwa ukwabelana ngezimvo nabanye kufuna ukubanakho ukubonisa ngokucacileyo oko ucinga.

Zilungiselele ngeemvakalelo zakho

Amagama akho anyaniseka ngakumbi xa uwafaka kwiimvakalelo. Ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo kunokukunceda unxibelelane nabanye ngokulula, kodwa ngekhe wabelane ngendlela oziva ngayo ngaphandle kokuba unxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho.

Nika ingxoxo yonke ingqalelo yakho, uvumele iimvakalelo zakho zivele njengoko umamele. Ukutyhala iimvakalelo umva okanye ukuzifihla kunokubangela ukuba ubonakale ungatyali mali kwincoko, nokuba unganyanisekanga.

Zama ukuveza indlela incoko ekwenza uzive ngayo endaweni yoko- nangona kububulumko ukuziqhelanisa nokuzibamba xa kuvelisa iimvakalelo ezinamandla.

Thetha ngokucacileyo, ungangxamanga

Kuqhelekile ukuthetha ngokukhawuleza xa unovalo okanye uzive ungaqinisekanga. Ukuba uthetha ngokukhawuleza okukhulu, nangona kunjalo, abaphulaphuli banokukufumanisa kunzima ukulandela amazwi akho.

Thatha umoya omncinci ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuthetha, okanye kuyo yonke incoko ukuba uva amagama akho eqala ukuphuma.

Kusenokubonakala kunzima ekuqaleni, kodwa ukugxila kwisandi kunye nokumila kwegama ngalinye elisemlonyeni wakho kunokukunceda uthothise isantya kwaye ujonge ngqo kule nto uyithethayo.

Wakhethe kakuhle amagama akho

Isichazi-magama sakho, amagama anentsingiselo kunye namabinzana owakhethayo, anokuba nefuthe kumyalezo wakho uphela. Cinga ngendlela othetha ngayo nomhlobo wakho osenyongweni, umama wakho kunye nomphathi wakho. Ngaba uyawasebenzisa amagama afanayo kunye namabinzana okanye uwaguqule ngandlela ithile?

Kubalulekile ukuba nguwe, kodwa kuyanceda ukuqaphela abaphulaphuli bakho xa uzama ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo. Umzekelo, ukufunga phambi kukatitshala womntwana wakho okanye ilungu losapho elinenkathalo kunokunika umbono owahlukileyo kunokuba ufuna ukudlulisa.

Ayikhe ibenzakalise into yokufunda amagama amatsha kwaye wandise isigama sakho, kodwa ungaziva unyanzelekile ukuba uyiqhoboshele incoko yakho ngokushiya amagama amakhulu. Ukuthetha ngokwendalo ngokubanzi kudlulisela eyona nyaniso.

Andivumi ngentlonipho

Izimvo ezahlukileyo akufuneki zonakalise ubuhlobo, ubudlelwane, okanye incoko nje. Unokuba nezinto ezininzi ofana ngazo nabantu abaninzi othetha nabo, kodwa unokuba nokwahluka okuninzi, nawe.

Yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba ungavumelani ngamanye amaxesha.

Qaphela nje ukuba:

• yamkele imbono yabo
• yabelana ngombono wakho ngokuzithoba
• kuphephe ukudelwa nokugwetywa
• gcina ingqondo evulekileyo

Buza imibuzo

Incoko elungileyo kufuneka ihambe zombini iindlela. Ufuna ukuvula kwaye wabelane ngezinto ngawe, kodwa uya kufuna ukubuza imibuzo enengqiqo kwaye umamele iimpendulo zabo.

Cwangcisa imibuzo efuna impendulo entsonkothileyo kunegama elinye okanye amabini.

Ekupheleni kwakho, bonisa ukubandakanyeka kunye nomdla ngokunika iimpendulo ezineenkcukacha xa umntu ekubuza umbuzo. Zama ukufumana ibhalansi phakathi kokuphendula ngokupheleleyo umbuzo kunye nokuqhubeka nokuqhubeka.

Jonga ulwimi lwakho lomzimba

Ngelixa amagama athethwayo anokuthwala ubunzima obukhulu, ulwimi lomzimba wakho lunokudlulisela okuninzi.

"Xa kuziwa kunxibelelwano, indlela oyithetha ngayo into ibaluleke kakhulu njengale uyithethayo," utsho uCook.

Ezi ngcebiso zinokukunceda uhlale ukhumbula into oyithethayo ngaphandle amagama.

Mjonge emehlweni

Ukudibana nokujonga komntu kwincoko kungabonisa umdla wakho kwinto abayithethayo. Ikwadlulisela imvakalelo yokuvuleleka kunye nokunyaniseka. Ukujonga umntu emehlweni kuthetha ukuba awunanto uyifihlayo.

Gcina intetho yakho ikhululekile

Ukuba uziva unovalo kancinci xa uncokola, izihlunu zobuso bakho zinokuqina, ezinokwenza ukuba ubonakale ucaphukile okanye uxinzelelo.

Akukho sidingo sokunyanzela uncumo kuba oko kunokubonakala kunganyanisekanga. Endaweni yoko, zama ukuphefumla nzulu kwaye ujonge ekuyekiseni intetho yakho. Ukuvumela imilebe yakho ukuba yinxalenye encinci kunokunceda ukukhulula izihlunu ezixineneyo.

Gwema ukuwela imilenze kunye neengalo

Kunokuvakala kuyindalo ukuhlala nemilenze yakho uwele okanye usonge iingalo zakho esifubeni xa umile. Kodwa ukwenza oku kwincoko ngamanye amaxesha kunokunika umbono wokuvalwa okanye ukungabinamdla kwiimbono ezintsha.

Cinga ngokugcina iingalo zakho emacaleni akho ukuba uhlala uwela imilenze xa uhleli, okanye uphumle umlenze xa uwela iingalo zakho.

Zama ukunqanda ukudideka

Ukujija kungabandakanya:

• ukudlala ngezitshixo, umnxeba, usiba, njl.
• ukuthinta iinyawo
• ukuluma iinzipho

Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zinokubonisa ukuba nesithukuthezi kunye novalo ukongeza ekuphazamiseni.

Ukuba ukujija kukunceda ucinge ngakumbi, zama ukufumana indlela engacacanga. Umzekelo, zama ukugcina into yokudlala encinci epokothweni okanye ukujija umlenze wakho (kuphela ukuba uphantsi kwedesika yakho).

Naka u yabo impawu zomzimba

Ulwimi lomnye umntu lunokunika imikhondo malunga nendlela incoko eqhubeka ngayo.

Ngaba bahlala bejonga iwotshi yabo okanye bajonge egumbini? Banokuba bacebisa ukuba bafuna ukuyiphelisa incoko. Kwelinye icala, ukuthembela kwincoko okanye ukunqwala ngentloko kubonisa umdla.

Kwakhona qaphela ukuba bajonga izimbo zomzimba okanye indlela omi ngayo. Oku kuziphatha okungazi nto kwenzeka xa uqhagamshela ngokweemvakalelo nomntu, ke kuhlala kuthetha ukuba incoko ihamba kakuhle.

Musa ukulibala ukumamela

Unxibelelwano alubandakanyi nje ukuthetha isiqwenga sakho. Ukuze unxibelelane ngokwenyani kwaye wabelane ngeembono nomntu, kuya kufuneka umamele- kwaye umamele kakuhle.

Ezi ngcebiso zinokukunceda uhlakulele izakhono zokuphulaphula.

Yamkela kwaye uqinisekise

Wakhe waba nencoko apho omnye umntu athi nje "uh huh" ngaphandle kokubonakala ngathi uyayithatha lento ubuyithetha?

Ukuqinisekisa into ethethwa ngomnye umntu kubenza bazi ukuba umamele ngenene. Ukulungisa kunye nokwenza ingxolo yokuvuma kulungile, kodwa kuyanceda ukunqumama ngexesha lendalo kunye nezinto ezinje, "Iyavakala iyandikhathaza" okanye "ndiyayifumana."

Buza imibuzo xa kukho imfuneko

Usenokuba ufundile ukuba ungaze uphazamise xa umntu ethetha. Oko ngokubanzi ngumgaqo olungileyo wokulandela. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, ukungaqondani okanye ukungabikho kokucaca kunokwenza incoko ibe nzima ukuyilandela.

Ukuba uziva udidekile okanye awuqinisekanga, kulungile ukuba uphazamise ngesidima. Yitsho into enje, "Uxolo, ndifuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba ndikuqonda kakuhle." Phinda-phinda oko bakuthethileyo ngendlela oyiqondileyo.

Funda igumbi

Ukuthathela ingqalelo ithoni yencoko kunokunika ukuqonda kwiimvakalelo zabanye abantu ababandakanyekayo.

Ukuba abantu babonakala bexakekile kwaye bengonwabanga, kodwa bengonwabanga, isiqhulo okanye uluvo olulula lunokunceda ukukhanyisa umoya. Kodwa ukuba umntu uthetha ngokungxolayo okanye ngokubhukisha, isiqhulo sinokungahambi kakuhle. Ukuphulaphula ngononophelo kunokukugcina kwindlela efanelekileyo yokuncokola.

Nika isithethi ingqalelo yakho

Gcina umzimba wakho ujonge kwisithethi ukuba kunokwenzeka, kwaye ujonge amehlo, ubuncinci ngamanye amaxesha, ukubonisa umdla wakho kwincoko.

Imigibe ofanele uyiphephe

Nditsho nabona banxibelelana bomeleleyo bayakhubeka amaxesha ngamaxesha. Oko kulindeleke. Kodwa ukunqanda ezi ndlela zokuziphatha ziphambili kunokukunceda ususe ezona nyathelo ziphambili.

Ukunyanzelwa

Ukuba umntu othetha naye uzama ukutshintsha umxholo, okanye ngokungqalileyo uthi abafuni ukuthetha ngento ethile, kusoloko kububulumko ukulandela ukhokelo lwabo.

Ndikunye nomntu omthandayo, kusenokufuneka uphinde umbandela lowo kamva. Ukubanika indawo okomzuzwana kunika ithuba lokuhlengahlengisa iimvakalelo ezinzima kunye nokubuyela kumxholo ngexesha elisebenza kuni nobabini.

Kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba unikele ingqalelo kulwimi lomzimba xa uthetha ngesihloko esinzima. Ukuba umntu ujonge kude, abuye umva, okanye aphendule ngempendulo, ungafuna ukuyeka lo mbandela.

Ukuthetha nje ukuthetha

Iincoko ziyahamba kwaye zihamba, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, izinto ziyathula. Oku kungaphezulu kokulungileyo, njengoko kunika bobabini isithethi kunye nomphulaphuli ithuba lokucinga malunga noko sele kuthethiwe kwaye baqokelele iingcinga zabo.

Musa ukunikezela kumnqweno wokugcwalisa umzuzu ozolileyo ngengxoxo engenanto.

Ukuphepha

"Ukurhoxa / ukuthintela yenye yeendlela ezinengxaki ezinokuphazamisa incoko ecacileyo, enemveliso," ucacisa uCook.

Oku kwenzeka rhoqo xa uqala ukuziva ukhathazekile okanye uxinzelelo malunga nengxoxo enzima. Mhlawumbi awuyithandi ingxabano, kwaye awufuni ukujongana neqabane lakho xa linomsindo.

Ukujonga incoko akuncedi mntu, nangona. Endaweni yoko, babazise ukuba ufuna ikhefu kwaye bacebise ukuthetha ngezinto xa ninobabini.

Ukuziqhelanisa nonxibelelwano oluhle kuzo zombini iziphelo kunokukunceda ukuba ufikelele omnye komnye ngempumelelo.

Ukuphendula ngomsindo

Wonke umntu uyacaphuka ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa ukuphendula xa ukule ndawo yentloko kunokukhawuleza ukuphazamisa izinto.

Thatha ikhefu kwincoko ukuba uyafuna. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukusebenza ngomsindo ngokwakho kwanele. Ngosuku okanye ezimbini, umba usenokungabinamsebenzi kangako. Ukuba isakukhathaza, unokufumana kulula ukusombulula isisombululo emva kokuphola.

Ukuba awukwazi ukuthatha ikhefu, zama ukufumana ezinye iindlela zokukhulula umsindo wakho.

Ukwenza izityholo

Nokuba uyazi ukuba umntu othetha naye uphazamisekile, isityholo ngokuthe ngqo isenokungabi yeyona ndlela ingcono yokusingatha le meko.

Zama ukusebenzisa iingxelo zika “Mna” endaweni yoko. Oku kubandakanya ukugxila kwindlela oziva ngayo, endaweni yokutyhola omnye umntu ngento ethile.

Nantsi itemplate esisiseko:

• Ndiva (iimvakalelo) xa (into ethile isenzeka) kuba (iziphumo zento ethile eyenzekayo). Ndingathanda ukuzama (esinye isisombululo). "

Inokukunceda ukucela ingcaciso ngaphambi kokuba ungavumelani nomntu. Ngendlela engqubanayo yokubonisa impazamo yomntu, zama oku:

• "Xa usithi 'X,' uthetha ukuba (phinda into abayithethileyo)? Bendisoloko ndikuqonda njengo (ngcaciso yakho). ”

Umgca wezantsi

Nanini na xa ujikeleze abanye, unxibelelana kwinqanaba elithile, nokuba awuqapheli. Isenokungasoloko uthetha ngamazwi, kodwa intetho yakho kunye nezimbo zomzimba zisathetha kakhulu.

Olu nxibelelwano lusondeleyo rhoqo lunokubonakala luxinekile ukuba awuziva uncokola ngokwendalo. Ngelixa kungekho buchule bunye bokuqinisekisa incoko egqibeleleyo, ukuziqhelanisa kunokukunceda uhlakulele izakhono zakho kwaye unxibelelane ngokuzithemba nangokunyaniseka.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.