Yintoni ethathelwa ingqalelo 'igumbi lokulala elifileyo' kwaye lilungiswa njani?

Umxholo

• Nasiphi na isibini sinokufumana igumbi lokulala elifileyo
• Ngaba "ukusweleka" kuthetha ukungabinasondo ngokupheleleyo?
• Ke yintoni kanye kanye?
• Ibangelwa yintoni?
• Uxinzelelo
• Utshintsho lomzimba
• Abantwana
• Ukungabikho kolwaneliseko
• Uyizisa njani kwiqabane lakho?
• Wazi njani ukuba "igumbi lakho lokulala elifileyo" luphawu lomcimbi omkhulu?
• Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uye phambili?
• Yenza isicwangciso
• Yandisa uthando lwemihla ngemihla
• Manga nje
• Jonga ezinye iindlela zokusondelelana
• Yiya kuthenga ezivenkileni
• Umgca wezantsi

Nasiphi na isibini sinokufumana igumbi lokulala elifileyo

Igama elithi "Ukulala ebhedini lesbian" sele likho ukusukela, ewe, okoko bekukho u-hauls. Ibhekisa kwinto eyenzeka kubudlelwane bexesha elide apho isondo liya kwi-MIA.

Kutshanje, kuyo kuye kwavela ixesha elitsha elibandakanya isini kunye nokuziphatha ngokwesini, benqwala inyani nayiphi na Ubomi bobabini besini buya kuthatha ithuba lokungabikho.

Ukwazisa: igumbi lokulala elifileyo

Ngaba "ukusweleka" kuthetha ukungabinasondo ngokupheleleyo?

Inga. Kodwa ayisiyonto inikiweyo.

"Igumbi lokulala elingasekhoyo alilulo uxilongo lweklinikhi," utshilo uJess O'Reilly, PhD, umphathi we @SexWithDrJess Podcast.

Akukho migaqo-nkqubo yokuqonda isifo ukuba unexesha elingakanani ungakhange ubelane ngesondo okanye ukuba kufuneka ulale ngesondo kangakanani ukuze ube kulwalamano lokulala olufileyo.

“Abanye abantu bacebisa ukuba iinyanga ezi-6 ngaphandle kokwabelana ngesondo ziyahlangabezana naleyo ndlela yokulala efileyo; abanye bathi kufuneka uhambe ixesha elide ngaphandle kwesondo kunoko, ”utshilo uGqirha O’Reilly.

ULisa Finn, utitshala wezesondo kwibhokisi yokudlala ngesondo eBabeland, uthi: "Akukho nombolo inye onokuyibamba ungatsho nantoni na engaphantsi kwegumbi lokulala elifileyo."

Bobabini uFinn noGqirha O'Reilly bathi wonke umntu kunye nesibini bafumana isigqibo sokuba leliphi igumbi lokulala elifileyo kubo.

"Abanye abantu abathandanayo balala ngesondo kathathu okanye ka-5 ngeveki kwiminyaka yabo yokuqala yobudlelwane, emva koko baqala ukulala kanye ngeveki kwaye bathi banamagumbi okulala afileyo," utsho uFinn. "Abanye abantu abatshatileyo bahlala besabelana ngesondo kuphela kwizikhumbuzo nangemihla yokuzalwa, kwaye abavakalelwa ngathi ubomi babo bezesondo bufile."

Ngapha koko, ezinye izibini ezingatshatanga zikhetha ukunqanda kwizenzo ezithile zesondo de zitshate, kodwa zibandakanyeka kwezinye iindlela zokudlala ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye azizukuzijonga kwimbalela.

Ke yintoni kanye kanye?

Ngokusisiseko, igumbi lokulala elifileyo kuxa wena neqabane lakho beninomkhuba ngokwesondo kwaye niphambukile kuloo nto-nokuba yeyethutyana okanye ngokusisigxina.

UFinn uthi ezi zinto zinokubalwa njengegumbi lokulala elifileyo:

• Wena neqabane lakho nisabelana ngesondo kancinci kunesiqhelo.
• Wena okanye iqabane lakho nithintela ukuqonda ukunxibelelana ngokwesondo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni komnye umntu.
• Wena okanye iqabane lakho niza kubeka isini sakho "njengokonwaba kancinci" kunesiqhelo.
• Wena okanye iqabane lakho awanelisekanga ukuba uhlala usabelana ngesondo rhoqo kangakanani.

Ibangelwa yintoni?

Thatha umqulu kwiphepha elingaphantsi rd / DeadBedrooms, enamalungu angaphezu kwama-200,000, kwaye uyakuqonda ukuba kukho iitoni zezizathu zokuba ubomi bezesondo babantu abatshatileyo bungatshintsha.

Baqhuba i-gamut ukusuka kwimizimba kunye neemvakalelo ukuya engqondweni nasemzimbeni. Nazi ezinye zezona ziqhelekileyo:

Uxinzelelo

Ngokophando lweBodyLogicMD lwabantu abali-1 000 abanamagumbi okulala afileyo, uxinzelelo lomsebenzi lwalungunobangela wokuqala.

Ukujonga iimpembelelo ze-physiologic yoxinzelelo emzimbeni, oku kuyavakala.

UGqirha O'Reilly uthi: "Uxinzelelo lwehormoni lunokuphazamisa impendulo yethu kunye ne-libido."

Wongeza ngelithi: "Ukuba uxinezelekile ngokwezimali, uzama nje ukufikelela, okanye ukhathazekile ngokhuseleko lwakho nokusinda kwakho, isini isenokuba yeyona nto iphambili engqondweni yakho."

Utshintsho lomzimba

Kuqhelekile ukuba utshintsho oluthile lomzimba luchaphazele ubomi bakho ngokwesondo.

Umzekelo, kubantu abane-vulvas, ukuya exesheni kungakhokelela ekunciphiseni i-libido kunye nokunciphisa ukuthambisa kwendalo.

Kwaye kubantu abaneepenise, kukho ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile, okuhlala kwenzeka kamva ebomini.

Ukungalingani kweHormonal, ukuzuza ubunzima, ukugula okungapheliyo kunye nokulimala kunokudlala indima ekutshintsheni ubomi bakho bobulili.

Nangona kunjalo, ezi zinto azithethi ngqo unobangela igumbi lokulala elifileyo. Banento yokwenza nje, utsho uGqirha O'Reilly. "Ukuba wena neqabane lakho anithethi ngolu tshintsho kwaye nenze uhlengahlengiso olukuvumela ukuba uhambe kakuhle ngesondo, ezi ngxaki zinokukhokelela kwisini esincinci."

Abantwana

UGqr. O'Reilly uthi: "Esona sizathu siqhelekileyo ndisibona kwigumbi lokulala elifileyo kubandakanya ukuba nabantwana.

Kungenxa yokuba abantwana baba yeyona nto kugxilwe kuyo kunye nokuphambili, kwaye ubudlelwane buwela ecaleni kwendlela.

Ukungabikho kolwaneliseko

"Ukuba awuyonwabeli isondo onayo, awuyi kufuna ukuba nayo," kusho uDkt O'Reilly. Kulungile!

Uyizisa njani kwiqabane lakho?

Oko kuxhomekeke ekubeni kutheni uzisa.

Eminye imibuzo yokwenza i-noodle kuyo ngaphambi kokuthetha neqabane lakho:

• Ngaba ndifuna ukuba nesondo ngakumbi kunam?
• Ngaba ndifuna ukuba kunye neqabane lam?
• Ngaba kukho umzuzu omnye, isiganeko, okanye into ekhokelele kolu tshintsho?
• Ngaba ndiziva ndonwabile (njengomsindo okanye ityala) oluphazamise umdla wam kwezesondo?

Ukuyeka isondo, okanye ukuba neentlobano zesini "encinci", akuyongxaki eyindalo.

Abanye abantu abafuni ukulala ngesondo kwaye ukuba nobabini kwiphepha elinye, unokuba nolwalamano olugqibeleleyo, utshilo uGqirha O'Reilly.

Ukuba wonwabile ngobomi bakho (awukho bukhulu) kubomi bezesondo, unokufuna ukwenza uvavanyo lobushushu kwaye ubone ukuba iqabane lakho liyanelisekile, nalo.

Zama: “Ndiyayithanda kakhulu indlela ukusondelelana okujongeka ngayo kubudlelwane bethu, kwaye ndiyonwabele ngakumbi indlela yethu [yokufaka ulondolozo lonxibelelwano ngaphandle kwesondo apha]. Bendifuna nje ukujonga ukuba ingaba uziva njani ngolwalamano lwethu. "

Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ukwehla kwe-sexy-time kuyakukhathaza kwaye ufuna ukuba neentlobano zesini ngakumbi kunokuba unakho- ngakumbi neqabane lakho-lixesha lokuncokola.

UFinn uthi: “Ufuna ukungakubek 'ityala. Oku kubalulekile! "Injongo yencoko ayikokuthetha ngento engalunganga, kodwa kukuxoxa ngento ongathanda ukuyibona ngakumbi."

Ngaba uziva ubophele ulwimi? UFinn ucebisa le template:

1. Thetha ngento ehamba kakuhle kubudlelwane bakho
2. Babuze ukuba baziva njani
3. Yabelana ngento ongathanda ukuyibona ngaphezulu
4. Yenza indawo yokuba babelane ngokufanayo

Ukuba ilinge lakho lokuqala aliziva linemveliso, zama kwakhona.

Ukuba okwesihlandlo sesibini uziva ngokufanayo, unokufuna isini okanye isibini esitshatileyo, esinokuququzelela incoko kwaye sincede nina nobabini nive ukuba nivile.

Wazi njani ukuba "igumbi lakho lokulala elifileyo" luphawu lomcimbi omkhulu?

UGqirha O'Reilly uthi: "Imiba ayisebenzi kwindawo engenamsebenzi, ngenxa yoko kunokwenzeka ukuba ubomi bakho bezesondo butshintshile ngenxa yomcimbi onzulu kulwalamano," utshilo uGqirha O'Reilly.

Umzekelo, ukuba elinye iqabane lenza isabelo esikhulu sokugcinwa kwekhaya, ukukhulisa abantwana, okanye ukusebenza ngokweemvakalelo, akuqhelekanga ukuba loo mntu aphulukane nomdla wokuba abelane ngesondo neqabane lakhe.

Kuyafana ukuba umntu uyacaphukela enye into, njengokufuduswa komsebenzi, ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, okanye ukungathembeki.

UGqr. O'Reilly uthi: "Ukuba nenzondo kukuchasene neminqweno nolonwabo.

UFinn uthi kuqhelekile ukuba abantu bavale ngokwasemzimbeni xa besebenzisa iimvakalelo. Kwaye, kwezinye iimeko, "igumbi lokulala elifileyo" luphawu lokuba uhlolisise ubudlelwane.

Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uye phambili?

Kuxhomekeka kwinto oyenzayo ndifuna ukuya phambili.

Ukuba ungathanda isondo ngakumbi kodwa iqabane lakho alithandi, unokuzama:

• ukubukela iphonografi ngakumbi
• ukuphulula amalungu esini ngokwawo okanye kunye
• ukuzama iithoyi ezintsha zesini
• ukukhwela umatshini wesini
• ukuya kwitheko lesini

Unokujonga kwakhona ukuba ungatshatanga nomntu omnye.

Ukuba ufuna ukuba neentlobano zesini phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho, kwaye omnye okanye nobabini anifuni ukuvula ubudlelwane, uFinn uthi: "Kungafuneka ubuphelise."

I-Ditto ukuba kukho umbandela ongathandekiyo iqabane lakho lingakulungelanga ukusebenza nawe. Okanye ukuba awuzimisele ukusebenza nabo.

Kodwa ukuba wena neqabane lakho nobabini nifuna ukuphefumla ubomi nibuyele kubomi benu bokwabelana ngesondo, uGqirha O'Reilly unezi ngcebiso zilandelayo:

Yenza isicwangciso

“Kukangaphi ufuna ukulala nomntu? Thetha ngayo! ” Utshilo uGqirha O'Reilly. Emva koko fumana indlela yokwenza oko kwenzeke.

Yandisa uthando lwemihla ngemihla

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uzinyanzele ukuba wabelane ngesondo, kodwa ngaba uya kuvulelwa ukuba ugobeke esofeni ngelixa ubukele iNetflix? Njani ngelixa uhamba ze?

Manga nje

Nika omnye umyalezo ngakumbi, ukuba loo njongo inokufezekiseka. Qala ngemizuzu eli-10 ngosuku.

UGqr. O'Reilly uthi: "Amanyathelo amancinci asasazekayo ngokuhamba kwexesha kunokwenzeka ukuba avelise iziphumo ezincomekayo kunotshintsho olunzima ukuphumeza kunye nokugcina.

Jonga ezinye iindlela zokusondelelana

Xa ungekho kwimeko, isondo sinokuziva ngathi kukufikelela kude.

Cinga ukubukela iphonografi, ukuphuza, ukuphulula amalungu esini ecaleni, ukuphulula, okanye ukuhlamba iqabane lakho, ucebisa uGqirha O'Reilly.

Ukuba kukungenisa kwimeko, yiba nayo! Ukuba akunjalo, akukho xinzelelo.

Yiya kuthenga ezivenkileni

Ukusuka kwi-lube ukuya kwi-vibrators ukuya kwiiringi zepenisi, iipropu zesini zinokuphefumla ubomi obutsha kwigumbi lakho lokulala.

Umgca wezantsi

Njengokukopa, ukukopa okuncinci, isini kunye nekink, okubalwa njenge "gumbi lokulala elifileyo" kwahluka ubudlelwane kubudlelwane, ngokusekwe kumgangatho wexesha lokulala.

Izinto ezininzi zinokukhokelela kwigumbi lokulala elifileyo- ezinye zibonisa umba omkhulu kubudlelwane, ezinye hayi. Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, ukuba iyabandezeleka iqabane elinye okanye nangaphezulu, lixesha lokuba uthethe ngalo.

Le ntetho ingaba yintetho yokuqhekeka, intetho yokwenza, okanye inokukunceda ubeke isicwangciso endaweni ye-hanky-panky.

UGabrielle Kassel ngumbhali wezesondo kunye nowezempilo waseNew York kunye noMqeqeshi weCrossFit weNqanaba 1. Uye wangumntu wakusasa, wavavanywa ngaphezulu kwe-200 vibrators, watya, wanxila, wahlanjwa ngamalahle- konke egameni lobuntatheli. Ngexesha lakhe lokuphumla, unokufunyanwa efunda iincwadi zokuzinceda kunye neenoveli zothando, ukucofa ibhentshi, okanye ukungqungqa. Mlandele phambili I-Instagram.